Bella? Marie?
by Nyomixx
Summary: Bella knows it's stupid to crush so hard on her boss. But when she's clubbing one night, and he asks for her name, she gives her middle name, Marie, and surrenders to a wild one-night stand, where she's allowed to touch him, and call him 'Edward'. But how will she continue on as his son's nanny? OOC/AH/MA content
1. Edward Meets Marie

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Twilight. But I do own the intellectual property of the story, _**Bella? Marie?**_

Thanks to **Project Team Beta** for their fab skills and advice. You rock! A huge thank you also goes to my sister, **Belindella** for co-authoring this first chapter to help me get this delightful tale out there. You're my inspiration, girl!

**Please note: **

This is a unique nanny story. For those of you that don't like nanny stories because of the children, please be assured that all scenes where there is child interaction is there to enhance the plot and to define/develop the characters. They will never be filler (for no purpose.)

This is first and foremost an Edward and Bella love story. It is also rated M for very good reasons.

I hope you read on and give it a go!

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**CHAPTER ONE - Edward Meets Marie**

**Bella:**

I gasped in fright, my pulse quickening with panic. I could have sworn it was him through the crowd. My mind went rampant with worry at the thought of him finding me there. What would he think? What would he say? I had to get out of there.

"Angela!" I called to my best friend over the loud music of the night club. Her brows quirked, letting me know she'd heard me as she continued to dance. "I think my boss is here!"

"Oh! Where?" She stopped dancing. "I've wanted to meet Rosalie for ages."

I shook my head. "No! Not her, the other one!"

Angela's face stayed blank. "What?"

"I think I just saw Mr. _Cullen_!"

Her jaw dropped a little, and she mouthed 'Oh.' She knew about the crush I had had on him since I'd started working for him and Rosalie three months ago.

Mr. Cullen was everything I wanted in a man. He exuded confidence and control. His raw masculinity and smooth voice had my girly parts tingling with pleasure every time I saw him. Just watching him lick his lips could make me turn into a pile of mush. His pride was considered by others to be a bad trait, but to me, it showed how strong and sure he was of himself. Something I wasn't.

Mr. Cullen was Rose's, my actual boss's, ex-husband. He was also the father of the cutest little boy I'd ever known. For the past three months, I'd lived with Rosalie in her swanky, three bedroom apartment in Downtown Seattle, having the pleasure of being nanny to her four-year old son as my full-time job.

Rose and Mr. Cullen had divorced three years earlier, so I rarely saw him, except for the brief moments every week where we shared a quick conversation that was little more than common courtesy. I preferred to watch him rather than flirt with him anyway.

Angela watched me looking around, trying to find him in the crowd again. The new club we were in was jammed with writhing bodies, dancing and moving with the loud music. Angela had insisted we go to 'Club Veto' as it was her twenty-second birthday. She'd also insisted that I ditch my black framed glasses for my special blue contacts and that I wore her sexy red dress. I couldn't deny that the mini make-over made me feel bolder, sexier and more confident. I liked it.

"Even if it is him, Bella, so what?" Angela asked, seeing my worried look.

"What if he fires me, Ange?"

Maybe he wouldn't want me being Henry's nanny anymore if he knew I went out partying. Granted, I didn't go out a lot for someone my age, but the last nanny had been fired after a load of liquor bottles had been found under her bed. He couldn't find out I was drinking! I'd assured Rose that I wasn't a drinker when she hired me.

"God, Bella. He'd be an asshole if he fired you." Angela looked around the club. "What are the chances it's him anyway?" she reminded me, shouting over the terrible techno song that had started belting out. "And if it is him, you look hot!" She winked at me. Two Cosmopolitans made her so enthusiastic. I chuckled. We were both light weights with alcohol.

But she was right. I did look very different than my usual self. Instead of my long, wavy brown hair being messily piled on top of my head in a bun, Angela had taken a straightening iron to it so it was a lot more sleek, shiny and dark. Angela had even made me over with dark, smoky eye make up. Even I had hardly recognized myself.

Perhaps if it _was_ Mr. Cullen, he'd see me as a woman, not just a plain, young nanny. But who was I kidding? His ex-wife was one of the most stunning women I'd ever seen, with shapely legs that went on for miles and perfectly styled platinum blond hair, not to mention flawless skin and beautiful features. I was not like Rose at all, so I knew he'd never see me in a sexual way. But I could dream.

And dream I did.

A lot.

Dreams were safe, secret.

Though, none of those fantasies consisted of him catching me in a night club after clearly having had a few drinks when I'd sworn I didn't touch the stuff. In my interview, Rosalie had stressed how important it was that her next nanny didn't drink, so I'd told her that I didn't. And I got the job.

So, what if Mr. Cullen now found out I had lied?

"Can we go?" I asked Angela, bitting my lower lip. "I don't want him to see me drinking. Just being here he'll be suspicious."

She pulled a complaining face, scrunching up her pretty features. "Do we have to? You're overreacting, Bella. They know you're not like that last nanny."

"How could they know that?" My biggest fear was being fired from my job. I'd grown so attached to Henry over the past few months that to leave him would be like abandoning my own little brother. I considered him family, and Rose was like a sister to me.

"Okay," Angela huffed. I nodded once, pleased we could leave. "But just one more drink before we go? For me?"

I frowned and gazed around the nightclub again. The man who had looked like Mr. Cullen had been going in the opposite direction of the bar, so I supposed that it would be okay if we headed over there quick.

"Yeah, alright," I agreed. Angela beamed. Poor thing, it was her birthday.

We made our way through the well dressed crowd and stood behind people at the bar, waiting our turn to be served. It seemed to be a popular place with different shaped, blue lit chandeliers dripping from the ceiling. I was pleased I had listened to Angela and worn her red, sleeveless, knee length dress as everyone around us was dressed formally; the men in suits.

We chatted together about nonsense, but my eyes continued to scan the crowd. Angela and I stood with our elbows on the grey marble bar, huddled together as people pressed into us on both sides, squished by people coming and going from the bar. Finally, a barmaid looked at me for our order.

I'd not seen the tall man with reddish brown hair and square jaw again, and hoped that it had been my imagination. So I decided to risk having another drink. I didn't feel good about ruining Angela's birthday night based on a suspicion.

"Two Cosmopolitans?" I called to the barmaid over all the noise around us. She nodded in understanding and went about making our yummy drinks.

Angela beamed at me. "Aww. Thank you! You won't regret it."

"I hope so!"

I felt someone press against my side. "You know, that drink's very cliché," a male voice spoke into my ear.

I frowned and turned my head to look at the man who spoke. My eyes widened when I looked straight into the handsome face of Mr. Cullen.

I gulped.

I stared.

I tried to breathe and not panic.

He was so close. And… smiling at me? The intensity in his eyes heated my skin, making me blush.

Mr. Cullen had _never_ smiled at me like that before!

I nodded at him, my mouth dry as desert sand. Was he going to call me a liar? How was he to know that I only drank on special occasions? That I rarely went partying anymore and just enjoyed a few beers with Angela every other weekend.

I looked at him and waited. But he just kept gazing at me. Smirking. Why on earth would he smile? Maybe he'd told Rose that he had a feeling I would be no good as their child's nanny when I first started, and I'd just proven him right. Was he happy about being one up on Rosalie?

He finally leaned closer to speak, and I braced myself for his words of disappointment.

"Since that show, _Sex and the City_, girls everywhere are drinking Cosmo's." It was the strangest thing he could have said, and nothing like I expected to hear.

I frowned, confused. He bent closer to my face again, his beautiful green eyes twinkling, his smile dazzling me, making my stomach grab.

"I'm Edward," he told me, his voice smooth and caressing. I felt my stomach grab in shock.

He didn't recognize me!

I blinked, looking up into his expectant face. I couldn't let him know who I was just so that I could get in trouble, so I nodded, giving him a timid smile. I knew that I could use his ignorance to keep my secret so decided to play along.

"Hello," I said, before turning away from him to pay for our drinks that had just been placed on the bar. I wanted to get as far away from him as fast as possible before the penny dropped and he realized who I actually was, so I picked up my cocktail, as Angela grabbed hers, and I walked away from the bar. And him. With my free hand, I pulled Angela's elbow as encouragement for her to follow me.

I chanced a glance back at Mr. Cullen and saw him staring at me, his mouth agape. Was he recognizing me? Shit_._ I put my head down and focused on my feet. We managed to meander our way through the bodies until I finally stopped at the other side of the club, feeling safe that he was nowhere nearby.

"Freakin' hell, Bella! Why'd you want to come all the way over here?"

"Sorry, Ange. That was Mr. _Cullen_!"

"Who was?"

"The man next to me at the bar!"

"Oh no! Did he talk to you?"

"Yeah. He said hello." Angela waited for more. "He didn't recognize me."

"How do you know that?"

"He introduced himself to me." Angela looked mystified, so I went on. "As _Edward._"

"Oh! Holy shit!" Her hand flew to cover her mouth, realizing that he wouldn't have introduced himself by his first name if he knew who I was. He had always insisted that his son's nannies called him 'Mr. Cullen.' It reinforced respect in front of his child or something, so it confirmed to me that he hadn't recognized me.

Angela saw this as a good thing. "So we can stay?"

"I dunno. What if he sees me again and works it out?"

She giggled. "Tell him your middle name. Introduce yourself as Marie."

"Yeah, right."

"Well, let's forget him. Can we just have a good time tonight? This place is huge. We probably won't see him again anyway."

I hoped I wasn't bringing her down on her birthday, so I nodded. "Okay, how 'bout we finish our drinks and go for another dance?" Then I'd see if I could get her to leave.

"You're on... _Marie_!" Angela clinked my glass with her own.

Another Cosmopolitan and three dances later, we were laughing with wild amusement about the man who had attached himself to Angela and I during the last song. We had had to tell him that we needed to use the bathroom for him to let us go.

I hadn't even thought of Mr. Cullen since I started dancing, feeling too relaxed from the alcohol I'd consumed. I wondered why Angela and I didn't do this more often.

Making our way back from the Ladies room, a short muscular guy in his mid-twenties approached us. His dark hair and sharp features caught Angela's attention. She smirked at him, and he couldn't take his pretty blue eyes off her.

"Hey, I'm Ben."

We both nodded and smiled at him.

"Um, I was just wondering... Do you ladies want a drink?"

We gazed at each other, shrugging, as if asking 'do we?'

"Sure!" Angela answered, smiling back at him.

"Okay." He grinned. "Two Cosmopolitans?"

Angela and I looked at each other with questions in our eyes. We'd finished our drinks about half an hour ago. How could he have guessed? Was it that much of such a cliché drink for girls that he could just take a stab in the dark like that and get it right? Or had he been watching us for a while?

"Oh..." He looked worried. "Do you want something else? My friend said that's what you'd ordered before."

I got a sick feeling in my gut, and it wasn't from the alcohol.

Was he talking about Mr. Cullen?

Ben turned and pointed to a table nearby, and sure enough, there was Mr. Cullen, lounging in the aqua blue upholstered booth, smirking at us, his gaze locked on mine. I'd never seem him look so sexy in all my life, and my heart started bashing against my ribs.

What was I going to do?

"Cosmo's would be great. Thanks," Angela said, smiling and batting her eyes.

"You wanna come sit with us?" Ben asked.

I shook my head no, not letting Angela have a chance to reply. "No, no, we're okay over here. Standing. But thanks anyway."

Angela gripped my hand between us, and I didn't know if it was to support my decision or if it was because she _did _want to sit with them.

Ben frowned. "Er... okay. I'll be back in a bit with your drinks."

Normally I wouldn't have trusted a strange guy to be alone with our drinks, for fear of him spiking it, but I trusted that Mr. Cullen didn't have a friend that would do that.

As soon as Ben was gone, I avoided all eye contact with Mr. Cullen, turning my back to him. Angela told me how cute she thought Ben was, and that she would love to sit with them to get to know him better.

_Great._

We had a very animated debate about how I didn't think I could handle sitting with my boss and lying to him by not setting him straight about who I was, and how I was worried he'd figure me out. Angela argued that he was probably half wasted and that if his brain hadn't clicked by now, it never would. She just wanted to sit with them for a little bit, and she assured me that if anything went wrong or she could see that Mr. Cullen was acting suspicious of me, that we could leave.

Ben came back with two, pretty pink drinks for us, and Angela told him that we'd love to sit with him and his friend. He snapped his head to me to see if I agreed, and I gave him a tight, fake smile. Ben nodded, very happy with this latest development and led the way. As soon as he turned his back on us, I rolled my eyes at Angela, and she mouthed 'thank you' to me. I did love the girl; she'd been my best friend since junior high and had saved my ass on many occasions.

Ben insisted I slid into the horse-shoe shaped booth first, so I took a deep breath and sat down, scooting over for Angela. I could feel Mr. Cullen's eyes on me, but I refused to meet them. I looked everywhere else but at him as I shuffled along closer to him to let the others in. There were empty shot glasses on the table, and his long fingers stroked a glass of what I guessed was scotch on the rocks. I'd seen him pour himself glasses of blue-label Johnny Walker at his house a couple of times so I knew he liked scotch.

Watching his fingers… they made my imagination go wild and my nether regions tingle with anticipation.

I blushed, focusing my attention on my now fascinating drink, trying not to imagine how good it would feel to have him touch me... anywhere... everywhere with those long, strong fingers.

"So... I'm Ben, and this is Edward," Ben announced again, prompting us to give our names. My heart was beating so hard, so fast, I was worried he could hear it.

"I'm Angela and this is Marie."

I breathed a sigh of relief that she'd remembered.

I looked up. Mr. Cullen was gazing at me with more concentration than before. He nodded once in greeting, but I looked away, too nervous to hold his gaze.

Ben and Angela were sitting close to each other and fell into easy conversation, talking into each other's ears, thus leaving me out of the loop to cope with Mr. Cullen by myself. Angela would look at us every now and then, smiling at me with reassurance.

Mr. Cullen and I sat together, not saying a word.

Because of my anxiety and my ultra dry mouth, I couldn't stop myself from sipping the refreshing contraband liquid. It was a relief that he didn't seem bothered by me staying quiet, so I watched him out of the corner of my eye as often as I could. He caught me a few times, which made me blush in embarrassment, and I wondered what he was thinking.

After a while, when I had just a trickle of my drink left, he shifted in his seat so that he was sitting a little closer to me. My breathing increased when there was only a small space between us. When he leaned closer, wanting to say something, my whole body froze in anticipation of what he was going to say.

"So what do you do, Marie?"

I blinked fast.

He still hadn't recognised me!

Relief flooded my entire being.

I shook my head a little. "I'm a... a personal assistant." I tried to smile but it felt forced.

Mr. Cullen's expression stayed impassive and he narrowed his eyes as if analyzing me. I couldn't handle being under his gaze. Seeing an excuse I could use, I drank the last drop from my glass and turned to tell Angela that I was going to the bar again.

She was making out with Ben.

I smirked but quickly looked away, wishing her a happy birthday.

"Um, I think I'll go to the bar," I told Mr. Cullen, amazed I was so close to him in a social situation. "Can you tell my friend I'm getting her another Cosmo if she asks?"

"I can order one for you. You don't have to leave."

"Thanks, but… It's all right. I'll go."

His brows knitted together as he moved from the booth and stood up, allowing me to shimmy along and out. The moment my back was to him, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. As much as I was thrilled to be near him, deceiving him was so much pressure, even if I was feeling pretty buzzed from my drinks.

On my way back to Angela, carrying two more pink drinks, I was stopped by a cute looking guy wearing a wild zebra shirt. He stood in front of me and smiled.

"Hey, is that one for me?" he asked, pointing to one of the drinks in my hand.

I pretended to chuckle, just glad to have a distraction on my way back to Tense Town. "Not a very manly drink," I teased.

"Huh! I'm man _enough_," he boomed, puffing out his chest, grinning.

I laughed at him. He was funny. Then again, everything was funny after a few drinks. "Have you tried one of these before?"

"What is it?" he asked, leaning closer to inspect it.

"A Cosmopolitan."

"No. Is it good?"

"Yeah, it's delicious. Here, try it." I passed him Angela's glass. She was too busy with her tongue down Ben's throat to want it anyway.

He sipped it. "Wow! Now that's a party in my mouth!"

I giggled, sipping my own drink, and listened to him talk about how often he came to the club as we finished our cocktails rather fast. I was feeling really good and carefree again.

"You wanna go dance?" he asked.

That sounded like fun, and he was a friendly guy. "Sure!"

"I'm Mike." He held out his right hand for me to shake.

I leaned over and placed my glass on the table nearest to us then shook his hand. "Marie." I kind of liked the excitement of being mysterious.

He'd never know, so what did it matter?

He took my hand to lead me to the dance floor through all the bodies in the club. Even though I appreciated him guiding me, the intimacy of him holding my hand made me feel nervous. Thankfully, he let me go when we got on the dance floor. I had a great time dancing to the first couple of songs with him. We kept smiling at one another, and it didn't seem odd that I was having so much fun with a stranger.

But things took a turn when Mike started touching me. Just a hand on my hip, then his other.

Straight away, I felt uncomfortable. I gave him a small smile and backed away, making him loose contact with me. But he stepped closer, all humor gone from his face as he pulled me closer by my waist, his eyes heavy lidded and dark with desire. _Shit._ He thought I _really _liked him. There was no easy way out of this. I grabbed his wrists as his hands slid lower to my hips again. He let me move them away, but he brought his hands up to caress the tops of my arms, making me start to panic. I took another step back to put more space between us, but he followed.

"You're so beautiful," he told me. "Can I get your number?"

"I think I'd better go check on my friend."

Mike cocked his head to the side. "Aww, come on. One more dance?"

"Mind if I cut in?" A velvet voice asked into my ear from beside me. My stomach tightened and fluttered, knowing that voice. I looked up with my big, wide blue eyes to see Mr. Cullen. He looked serious. His eyes held mine, questioning. I noticed his jaw was tight and that he was clenching his teeth together – something I'd seen him do when he was agitated.

Though I was relieved to see him, I was also anxious to know what was upsetting him. The chance to get away from Mike won, and I nodded to Mr. Cullen.

"Sure."

Mike's hands immediately dropped.

"Thanks, Mike," Mr. Cullen said, as if dismissing him. His expression softened while he gave Mike a cocky grin.

I glanced back at Mike, who pursed his lips and looked at me as if expecting me to refute my rescuer. There was no way I was doing _that_. So, he turned on his heel and stormed off through the jiving mass of bodies.

I realized that Mr. Cullen had called Mike by his name.

"You know him?" I asked, looking up into his stunning green eyes.

He nodded. "He works for me."

Struck with the reality that I worked for him too, I was frozen with anxiety.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm."

"He's harmless. Cocky, but he wouldn't have hurt you."

I nodded, knowing he was talking of Mike.

"Since this is a dance floor, we should be dancing," he joked, shocking me with a gorgeous, crooked smile, making my stomach flip and my heart start bashing inside my chest. He still didn't know who I was, and though I should have felt upset about it, deep down, I felt safe with the anonymity it gave me. Marie could be anyone, do anything… the thought was liberating.

I concentrated on the music thumping around us and began to dance with him. With all the drinks flooding my veins and the music pulsing through me, my body relaxed and started moving of its own accord, just like everyone around us. We kept our eyes on each other, and a respectable space between us, but I was amazed that I wasn't as afraid of his reaction anymore. I tried to just enjoy the moment, however fleeting, that we could have together.

Tomorrow I'd go back to being the nanny, but right then... I was free to be Marie.

Mr. Cullen looked at me with more intensity than I had ever been able to imagine in my fantasies. It felt as if there was an electric charge between us. My skin sizzled as if on fire, aware of his proximity, and I wanted to get closer to him, to feel him touch me. Tentatively, I reached my hand forward to lay it on his arm, but I pulled back, biting my lip, still desperate for some kind of contact.

He must have noticed, because all at once, Mr. Cullen's hand was on my waist, the heat from his hand burned through my dress as my hips moved in time with the music.

My whole body ignited under his touch, my skin hummed while my brain turned to mush. Without thinking, I moved forward so that I could feel him more and was pleased when his large hands wrapped around my back, pulling my chest against his. I let out a huge sigh as I relaxed against him, raising my arms to hold his back, feeling so secure, so turned on while held in his arms.

I never knew his touch could make me feel this way, make me desire him so desperately.

I wanted him. Right there on the dance floor.

I was a mass of sexual need. I'd never longed for anyone more in my entire life like I desired him. I needed him to touch me like I needed my next breath.

As we moved together, my forehead fell to his chest and my hands slipped under his suit jacket and roamed the hard contours of his muscular back, over his white shirt. I revelled in the fact that I was touching his shoulder blades, his tight waist, and down his spine to the rise of his toned ass.

Oh, God. I wanted him so badly.

I moaned with absolute need, the ache now becoming painful between my legs.

He moved, pulling me too him in response, and I felt what could only be Mr. Cullen's hard arousal against my hip.

_Holy shit!_

Mr. Cullen wanted me, too! He wanted Marie.

My heartbeat took off, and I squeezed his ass, pulling him forward. I loved the feel of him against me, my breasts hard against his chest, and his hands roaming my back and sides.

The thought that I could take this further, while still keeping my identity a secret, excited me beyond belief. The safety I felt in my anonymity wasn't something I'd expected. For the first time in four years, I was eager to have sex again. I'd dreamt about Mr. Cullen, fantasised about being with him, but never thought it could happen.

If this was real, I intended on making the most of it.

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**END CHAPTER NOTES:**

Thank you for reading my first fan-fic story. At the time I'm writing this, I'm up to chapter 12 and currently going through and re-editing my work, trying to improve my earlier chapters. So if you come across a chapter than stands out as different in writing style from the others; that is why. I haven't gotten to it yet. :) Hopefully, you'll see an improvement in my writing style as you progress through the story. I am only starting, and learning new things all the time, so my style is changing as well. My main mission is reducing the amount of italic thoughts.

Thank you for reading this first chapter, and I hope you'll continue reading with interest! I'd love to know your thoughts each chapter, so please review and let me know!

Nyomi xx


	2. Ooooh Yeah!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Twilight. But I do own the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

Thanks to my PTB beta **yellojello113** for all your incredible suggestions, for being patient with my usage of comma's and for pointing out my Aussie phrases! _Ooops!_ Thanks also to my other wonderful PTB beta **LouderThanSirens **for reminding me of my abbreviations. ;O

A massive hug and kiss goes to **Belindella** for relentlessly listening and chatting about this story, and for the hours of pre-reading and editing she does. You're the best, sweetie!

Thank you so much to all of you who have read and reviewed! You've made writing this story so much fun and I get such a thrill out of reading your impressions on the story and your words of encouragement

Anyway, on with the story...

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**Chapter Two – Ooooh Yeah!**

**Saturday:**

**Bella:**

Squirming in my sleep, I became aware of my eyes that were stinging like a bitch. Ever so slowly, I cracked them open and blinked, trying to erase the itchy, stinging feeling.

I went to move but froze as I suddenly became aware of my strange surroundings. I abruptly remembered stumbling back to Edward's luxury hotel suite not long after Angela had left the club with his friend Ben. My head hurt from all of the alcohol I'd consumed and I stifled a groan as I stretched my limbs. _Oh!_ Every muscle ached… especially in my most… _private_ area.

_Hmmmm._

I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face as last night's events, and multiple positions, flitted rapidly through my memory. _Ooooh yeah! _That was without a doubt the best sex of my life!

I looked across the huge bed, taking in the twisted sheets beside me, and there he was… _Edward._ He was sprawled on his back, his ruggedly handsome face turned away from me, the sheet resting over his legs and hips but exposing his chiselled chest and stomach. His broad, muscular shoulders and arms made me lick my lips, remembering how I had kissed, licked and felt all over his powerful, strong body.

_Oh, Edward._

I guessed now that it was morning I had to think of him again as my off-limits boss, _Mr. Cullen._

I knew I had to go back to being Bella, but I just wished I could stay Marie if it meant I'd get to touch him whenever I wanted. Taking a moment to bask in the reality that I'd fulfilled my many day dreams, I gazed at him, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath. I knew he was still asleep. Oh how I wanted to reach out and touch him! He was _right_ there.

Tearing my eyes away from his chest, I turned to the nightstand and saw that it was only six-thirty in the morning. I'd only been asleep for a few hours.

I grimaced as my eyes continued to grate with each blink, and I realised that I still had my blue contacts in. No _wonder _they were irritated. I had to get the contacts out. It occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to risk him seeing me without them. I smiled remembering how he kept calling me "blue eyes" last night. I knew he would freak out if he saw me as my plain, brown-eyed self.

I sat up and caught my reflection in a mirror across the room. _Ugh!_ My hair was a complete mess. I attempted to tame it by running my fingers through my long locks but they caught a few inches in. One of the hazards of great sex. _Hmmmm_. More delicious memories… the floor, the bed, the couch, Edward's strong calloused hands digging into my hips, wrapping my hair around his fist…

I carefully slid to the edge of the bed, watching him the whole time, worried he'd wake with the motion. Thankfully, he didn't even stir. Just before I turned around to leave, I raked my eyes over his perfect form one last time, committing him to memory before I closed my eyes and turned away.

_Goodbye Edward._

I silently padded down the hall into the living area, picking up my clothes that were strewn around the room as I walked towards the front door. Amongst Edward's shoes, trousers, boxers and torn shirt, I found my discarded white cotton panties. If only I had known not to go for comfort, that I was going to get some action last night, I would have bought a sexy black lace thong or something! I remembered his deep, throaty chuckle when he'd first seen them, but he'd then kissed me before I could get any more embarrassed.

I found my bone-colored T-shirt bra on the coffee table and Angela's red dress on the living room floor. Hell, I really needed to go lingerie shopping. In the foyer, I picked up my black, knee-length coat, heels and clutch and tiptoed into the half bathroom next to the entry. Turning on the light, I gasped at the scary looking woman in the mirror.

I looked much worse than I thought. My eye make up was smudged, my lips were red and swollen, and my eyes were bloodshot. _Shit! _I looked like I was on drugs.

Opening my clutch, I pulled out my contacts container, a mini bottle of eye drops and my black-rimmed glasses. I always came prepared in case I needed to take out my contacts or if I lost one. I'd had them in for almost nine hours now, and my fingers couldn't move fast enough to get the pesky bastards out. I placed them into their little container, and then squeezed some refreshing drops into my flaming eyes. Sighing with relief as the inferno eased, I put my glasses on.

I felt much better, but I was so anxious about him seeing me now, my hands started trembling a little.

There was no way I could risk Edward finding me. Not like this. So far, my identity had gone undiscovered which still amazed me. My escape would have to be stealthy and silent. God, I felt like such a skank_._

Once dressed, minus the panties that were now shoved into my coat pocket, I held my black heels and coat in one hand while I tiptoed to the front door. A wave of guilt and sorrow swept over me, and I knew I couldn't walk away without leaving something with him. Anything.

I opened my clutch to retrieve my pretty seashell notebook and pen. I tore off a little sheet as I walked back into the suite and set it on the kitchen counter to write. I loved the collage of pretty pinks and lilacs of the shell patterns. Rose gave it to me as part of a thank you gift three weeks ago when I had watched Henry over the weekend on short notice because she still hadn't been well enough after her latest surgery.

Holy… I'd slept with Rose's ex-husband!

_SLUT!_

All of a sudden, I heard the leering voices of my peers at high school. No, I wasn't like that anymore, I hadn't been with anyone since then. Last night was a one time thing. And nobody would ever know but me and Angela. But, I couldn't think of that now. I didn't have time…

I focused on what I would write to Edward.

_**Dear Edwa**_

Damnit! My pen ran dry. I looked around and saw a hotel insignia pen alongside the 'welcome' folder on the dining table. I tip-toed my way over, my ears on high alert for any sound coming from the bedroom, and quickly scribbled Edward a note.

_**Dear Edward.**_

_**I'll never forget.**_

_**X**_

Simple, honest and true. But I couldn't sign my name as Marie. I just couldn't.

I was still holding the hotel's pen in my hand, my thumb rubbing the raised impression of the hotel name over and over. I smiled and slipped it into my purse, knowing it would remind me of Edward and our night, forever.

With the folded note in my hand, I looked around the luxury suite for a place to leave it. I was perplexed at how messy the place looked. Had we really done that much destruction? I winced at the broken lamp in the foyer, the skewed pictures on the hallway walls leading to the bedroom and the couch cushions which were strewn across the living room floor. _Oh…_ I immediately had a flash of Edward taking me on the floor as I lay on those cushions. _Mmmm…_ My body flushed with warmth as I remembered the way he had touched me with his strong hands and…

My thoughts froze for a moment when I saw his black silk tie hanging across the back of the sofa. A myriad of different scenes replayed in my mind, the tie being the primary object… me tying Edward's hands above his head to the coffee table before I licked and nibbled my way over his entire chest; Edward blindfolding me with his shirt and binding me with the tie before he repeated the favor; Edward blindfolded as I rode him…

Before I could talk myself out of it, I tiptoed over and grabbed the tie, slipping it into the empty pocket of my jacket. What was one more souvenir? Just touching the silky-smooth fabric made my heart begin to thump hard. Perhaps I could sneak another glance at him…

No! I had to get out of there. Now.

But I couldn't find a damn place to leave the note. Everywhere I looked, I dismissed – worried that he might miss it depending on what he did when he woke up. Would he eat breakfast at the dining table or the kitchen counter? Did he eat breakfast at all? Would he enter the kitchen and see it on the counter? What if he left straight away? I didn't know where to leave it.

I then noticed his crumpled suit jacket on the marbled floor of the entry foyer. I smiled, remembering how I had forced it off his shoulders before dragging him further into the suite by his tie as his fingers had lowered the zipper at the back of my dress, our lips locked together in a deep kiss.

Lifting his jacket to my nose and closing my eyes, I breathed in his luscious scent … Mmmm, spicy and masculine… and Edward. Delicious.

Knowing he'd be taking it with him, I slipped my note three-quarters of the way inside his breast pocket and hung his jacket on the back of the door as a sign from me.

With a heavy, reluctant sigh, I reached for the door handle. I wished like crazy I could just jump back in bed with Edward and take off where we had left things. I'd spent the greatest hours of my existence in this suite, fulfilling my fantasies, having the best sex of my life with the very man I'd lusted after for the previous three months.

If only I didn't have this rising guilt about deceiving him… and betraying Rosalie.

I wasn't feeling half as elated as I had predicted. I opened the door and slipped out, quietly clicking it shut behind me. Walking barefoot down the empty hall, I ignored the heavy, constricting feeling in my throat, before stepping into the elevator. Once inside the empty elevator, I pulled on my coat and slipped on my pumps as I rode down to the ground floor.

Strolling out into the crisp summer morning air, the tightness in my throat and chest grew worse. I was finding it hard to breathe as the guilt morphed into anxiety.

Was he awake now? Had he noticed I'd gone? Would he be happy or sad that I left before he woke up? I wondered if he'd found my note yet…

My mind was in complete chaos, full of questions and scenarios. I flagged a cab and got in.

The driver looked me up and down and then smirked, waggling his eyebrows. "Rough night?"

I turned to look out the window. "Equinox Apartments, Eastlake" I gave him Angela's address and kept my gaze out the window. I wasn't up for chit-chat with rude old men.

As he drove amongst the early morning traffic, I returned to my thoughts.

Yesterday, Rose had left for Switzerland with her boyfriend, Royce, for a ten day skiing holiday. Come Monday morning, I had to move in with Edward and mind Henry there.

In his house.

Just him, me and Henry.

Oh, the potential problems… the potential promising possibilities… they all cascaded around my head until I thought my skull would surely split.

But one thing kept coming to the forefront…

I'd seen him naked, and god help me, I wanted to be with him again.

**-xxx-**

"Bella?" I heard Ange. "Bella? You here?"

I groaned. She kept calling my name as she walked down her hallway.

"Yeah Ange," I croaked, rolling onto my back, almost falling off the single-sized bed in her spare room. I was used to the queen-sized bed in the stunning bedroom I had at Rosalie's.

Even after a bath, my muscles still felt tender, and I winced. Glancing at the side table's clock, I squinted and made out that it was five in the evening. "I'm in bed." I reached over and took my glasses from their resting spot beside me and put them on so I could see her clearly.

The door swung open and Angela rushed in, plonking her skinny butt on the end of the mattress. Her bright expression told me she wasn't just happy to see me.

"I take it you and Ben hit it off?" I asked.

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling like she was offering up a prayer of thanks.

I chuckled. "Wow. That good, huh?"

"Oh. You have _no_ idea." Before I could even raise an eyebrow, she launched into telling me how fantastic he was, how after the best orgasms, they snuggled and slept in until late morning then he offered to take her to lunch. He took her to some classy joint on the shore of Lake Washington to eat where he talked about how he loved being co-producer with Edward on the TV show _Hot Houses_.

"So when are you seeing him again?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't be this excited if she didn't have another date set up.

"Tomorrow night." She looked at me with concern for a moment, and I frowned, not knowing why. "Is that okay?" I didn't understand why she needed my approval, but before I could say anything she rushed on. "It's just that we got to talking about food, and I offered to cook him my famous chicken marinara. I know its fast but I really like him and –"

"Ange! It's fine. I've got to pack up my stuff to stay at Edward's – uh, I mean, Mr._ Cullen's_, so I was going to go home tomorrow anyway."

I couldn't make that mistake in front of him.

"_Edward_, huh?" She smirked and cocked one thin eyebrow. "So I guess you got over calling him, Mr. Cullen? What happened between you and _Edward_, pray tell? You guys were looking pretty cosy before I interrupted. Did you kiss?"

If only she knew how _much_ I had kissed him.

"Ah, yeah…" I smiled, gnawing my lip and nodding my head.

"Ooooh yeah, you two did look all sorts of hot, wrapped around each other on the dance floor." She shook her head in amusement, swishing her shoulder length brown hair about her oval face. "And after you were so intent on leaving so that you didn't have to face him…! I could tell he was so into you. He wasn't happy about letting you go when I interrupted your dancing."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he looked pissed."

"Oh, yeah! I'd forgotten that! God, that was funny." I giggled, remembering how he had tensed his jaw when I held up my index finger, telling him to give me a moment to talk with Angela. Being Marie had given me so much more confidence than I'd ever had. I'd turned my back on him as Ange told me that she was leaving with Ben. I'd made her promise to be careful before kissing her cheek and wishing her a happy birthday again.

My smile vanished as I recalled what I had seen next.

"After you left though," I continued, "I turned back to him and he was talking into the ear of another woman who had her hand around his arm–"

"What?"

"I know. My first thoughts were that he'd hooked up with her. I was so mad and confused. I couldn't believe he'd drop me that fast, so I decided to play him at his own game and pretend he meant nothing to me either. He looked up and caught my eye, so I smiled and a waved, then walked away." I chuckled, remembering the surprise in his eyes.

"What'd he do then?"

"Umm, he followed me. I didn't get far before he grabbed me by my arm, stopping me, and asked me where I was going."

"What?" Angela asked, concerned. "Did he hurt you?" I shook my head no.

"Oh, no! He didn't seem mad, just confused. I told him in a sweet, disinterested voice that he could go back to his little blond bunny 'cause I was going home."

"You said that?"

"Hell, yeah." I pulled myself up to rest against the headboard. "I wasn't going to stand around and be pawned-off for some twenty dollar hooker. I wanted him to think I didn't want him either. Though I was nice about it instead of acting jealous, which is probably what he'd expected. I was stunned that he'd followed me at all, but then he told me that the blond worked for him." I paused, recalling how his next words shocked me to the core.

"Get this…" I lowered my voice. "He said that – Heidi, her name was – that she worked for him but that she didn't grasp the fact that he didn't sleep with women who worked for him."

I gave Angela a moment for the words to sink in, but she didn't have the same reaction that I had had. She just stared at me, her expression blank.

"Don't you get it?" I asked, exasperated. "That's when it hit me that he'd _never_ sleep with me if he found out I was _Bella_. I'd always be his _employee_… a member of the 'no go' team."

"Oh…"

"Mmm-hmmm."

"So what'd you do?" She leaned forward resting on one elbow, eyes wide.

"Well… once I realized that I only had one night to have him, I grabbed his tie, pulled him towards me and kissed him." I shrugged, but I felt my cheeks heat, remembering how good his lips had felt, how his tongue had slid against mine and how delicious he'd tasted… scotch, peppermint and _Edward_.

"God, Bella!" She laughed and closed her eyes. "And here I thought your wild days were over."

I would have been offended had she not been right. Over the years, Angela provoked me about my lack of sexual interest anymore and joked that I should just join a nunnery, but the truth was… until recently, no one had affected me the way Mr. Cullen had. He just had to look at me and he had me tingling and breathless.

"I wouldn't call kissing him as 'wild,'" I scoffed. "But letting him finger me in the booth… now _that_ was wild." I laughed as her jaw dropped and her hazel eyes grew into huge saucers. "Oh, come on!" I nudged her shoulder. "If you told Ben how turned on you were and he asked to touch you, you'd say yes, too."

"I would not!" She pulled herself back, acting indignant. I just laughed harder.

I knew Angela wasn't the kind of girl to do that in public, but after four years without sex, I wasn't going to hold back from the man of my lust-filled-daydreams! I should be allowed to boast if I wanted to. Angela had never judged me in the past like other people had, so I was sure she wouldn't start now.

"Whatever you say, Ange."

Her expression softened as she got this far away, dreamy look in her eye. "Hmmm… well, maybe. But I thought you would have been too nervous to do that with your _boss_."

"Are you kidding me? All I could think about was him touching me. I had enough booze in me not to care about the consequences… he took over all my senses."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. So what happened next?"

"Well…" I cleared my throat. "He had such talented fingers, and I was so into him that he got me off in no time." I didn't tell her how wet I was just from him sucking on my neck.

"You came in the booth?" She balked, and I nodded, biting my lip, remembering how hot it all was. "How embarrassing."

"Ange! It was dark as hell, and no one saw me, he was kissing me the whole time… God, he was so good."

"So did he give you his number when you left?"

"Um, no. I only left him this morning," I mumbled.

"Whoa! Hold up," she cried, leaping off the bed. "You went… _home _with him? Holy fuck, Bella! You _slept_ with him as Marie? Letting your boss touch you is one thing but… Fuck! You should have waited till you could have been… _you_."

Perhaps I was wrong about her judging me.

I just sat there, outwardly calm, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. We'd been friends for years and we were always honest with each other, so I let her sort out her thoughts while she paced. I knew sleeping with my boss was a huge deal, but at the time, I was too far gone to think about the repercussions. Perhaps I had been too excited by my anonymity.

It didn't take her long before she looked at me with bemused eyes.

"I'm surprised he didn't recognize you once you left the club. I mean, it was dark in there… but outside…"

"I know. That occurred to me too… for like a second. Honestly? We were too busy kissing for him to study me on the way to his place. And then once we got into his room, he broke the lamp trying to turn it on, so we spent most of the night in the dark. There was a little outside light coming in through the windows to let us see each other though. He did try to turn on the kitchen light once, but… I didn't let him get very far." I blushed, recalling how I tackled him onto the couch before attacking his gorgeous lips again, then working my way down his body and sucking his ready cock into my mouth. He didn't even try to move… apart from grabbing onto my hair…

"So what…? He didn't see you in full light at all?"

"Ah, not exactly. When we moved to the bedroom, he turned on the bedside lamp. But it wasn't long before we both passed out."

"Wow. So…" She quirked an eyebrow, a mischievous look came into her eye. "How was he? Did he live up to your expectations?"

I couldn't keep the smug, blissful smile from my face. I couldn't find the words. I didn't know having seven orgasms in one night was even possible. No wonder I was still tired. God, how could I look at him again and not want his hands on me… him inside me?

"Yep." Angela nodded, returning my smile. "That's exactly how I feel."

My smile fell slightly as a wave of uncertainty washed over me. What would happen if Edward found out I was his "blue eyed" Marie? I couldn't risk not getting a good reference, loosing my job and home, or more importantly, forsaking Henry like all the other nannies had before me.

I couldn't just disappear on Henry. The poor kid had seen seven nannies come and go before me and he'd finally opened himself up and accepted me as his buddy. An achievement even Rose was impressed with.

If anything, I'd have to give two weeks notice, and I'd want to stay until they found someone permanent.

It'd gut me, but I could it. If I had to.

"What's wrong?" She reached out and laid her hand on my knee.

"Uh, nothing," I forced a smile and got off the bed. "Come on. I need to make you some food. It's dinner time." I didn't feel like eating, but I was keen for a diversion. I made my way to the tidy, blue and white kitchen, Angela close behind.

I had brought a bag of groceries with me yesterday, and she stood watching me unload the items onto the counter.

"What are we having?" she asked, bouncing her leg. I held up a packet of dry spaghetti.

"Spaghetti Bolognese. Is that okay? Or do you feel like something else?"

"Nope. Spag bols sounds great."

"Cool. Could you get the minced beef, pepper and mushrooms out of the fridge? I put them in the bottom."

While she had her back to me, I grabbed the wine bottle opener from the drawer, and as soon as she placed the food on the bench, I tossed the bottle opener to her. "Do the deed, would you?"

She gasped in shock, not prepared to catch it. Her facial expressions were hilarious, her eyes bulged and her mouth dropped open. I laughed as her body thrashed about, trying to catch it after the thing slipped through her butterfingers three times.

I held onto the bench to steady myself from laughing so hard.

"You bitch," she chuckled when she finally had a grip on the corkscrew. "You could have warned me."

"Awww! Where's the fun in that?" I joked, calming down. She shook her head, and I nodded to the bottle of red wine on the opposite counter that I brought to compliment the meal.

Angela poured us both a glass of wine and we worked side by side as we giggled over last night's events. The wine helped take the edge off my anxious thoughts that refused to go away, and it was moments like this that I was really thankful for Angela's unwavering friendship.

We had been best friends since junior high and unable to part from each other. I moved with her to Seattle after we graduated. Though my move was one of necessity and hers was to go to college. We lived together for a little while, but after she helped get me my first job as a live-in nanny, she moved on to campus grounds. After college she landed herself a busy job working as an Administration/Bookings Officer for Harborview Medical Centre. She got great pay and was now able to live by herself in a stylish and modern, two bedroom apartment that was close to Lake Union.

I often slept over, seeking time away from Rose to regain my sanity. I regularly needed a break from Henry, too. I loved my little buddy, but four-year olds could be tiring, and I enjoyed hanging out with Angela most weekends. So in exchange for her putting up with me, I always brought food and made a dinner for us. I also ensured that she would have enough left-over's to give her a couple of easy nights off during the week.

Despite the red wine and Angela's easy company, I still couldn't shake my anxiety about Edward.

I meant, Mr. Freaking _Cullen_!

He had been furious when Rose first told him about Royce wanting to take her to Switzerland to the luxurious Zermatt Resort for a skiing holiday. It wasn't that she was leaving on such short notice that ticked him off; it was that she told him _I_ could look after Henry by myself in _her_ apartment. That's when he insistedthat Henry and I stay with him. At first I was excited by the opportunity to ogle him everyday for the next ten days, but now…

After a few moments of silently chopping vegetables side by side, I sucked in a deep breath. "Ange? How am I supposed to keep him from recognizing me? I think I'm knee deep in shit and he's sure to see me as Marie. What am I going to do? "

Angela stared at me for a moment before shrugging. "Don't do anything that'll tip him off."

"Oh, really? Gee thanks for the obvious, Sherlock." Angela chuckled, shaking her head at herself before I sighed. "Yeah, I know I'll have to be careful, but I'll be seeing him everyday. I'm sure to mess up sometime and it's scaring the shit out of me."

"Okay, listen." She put the wooden spoon down and turned to me. "This is what you have to do." I gave her my full attention. "You just have to manage the risks. Considering you have wavy hair naturally, it should be okay to leave it down, but to be safe, keep it up as much as possible."

"Well that's easy done. I usually wear it up when I work."

"Good. Also, don't wear heavy eye make-up like you did last night. Keep it simple." Considering I rarely wore make-up that was a give-in. "Oh! And _always_ wear your glasses. You look so different when you don't wear them, so try and keep them on all the time."

" what about my body? He knows it in… _detail_."

Angela smirked, and I chuckled softly, averting my gaze and hiding my reddening cheeks.

"Well, you said you were never in bright light with him… Try not to wear revealing clothes, I guess."

"Ange, it's the end of June now. It'll be uncomfortable… and _weird _if I'm wearing heavy clothes when I'm hot. He has the best pool ever and Henry wants me to go swimming with him and –"

"Ugh! Bella! I don't know!" She threw her hands up, infuriated. "He's never going to remember. He'd been drinking, had he not?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, well… How different is one body to the next? Really? One pair of tits looks just the same to me as the next pair… give or take a little sagging and shit. But, the guy's meant to be a man slut anyway. I'm sure all girls look good to him. Besides, it's not like you've got some big fucking birthmark on your leg or something! Get over it, girl!"

"Sorry. I'm just worried."

"I know." She gripped my hand in hers and gave me a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be fine. Men are mostly dumb asses anyway. Here's hoping his brain isn't as good as his looks."

"Thanks." I smiled and we continued to cook together in silence.

"Oh! Jewellery!" She suddenly blurted, whirling to me and pointing the Bolognese covered wooden spoon in my face.

"What about it?" I couldn't help leaning away from the threatening, messy utensil. She had a crazy ass look in her eye.

"Your _jewellery_," she repeated. "You can't wear any of the stuff he's seen."

"Ohhh… But…"

"I have plenty you can choose from if you need any." Thankfully she resumed her lazy stirring of the sauce. "I know you don't have a spare watch."

"But, I like my watch." I hid my left wrist behind my back.

"Do you like your job?" She quirked an eyebrow at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Ugh! You're right." I unfastened my mother's silver watch from my wrist and handed it over to her. "If you lose it, I may have to kill you."

I'd not worn another watch since Dad gave me Mom's practically empty jewellery box when I turned fifteen. I treasured that watch. It was a constant reminder… of more than just the time.

Angela laughed. "I'll put your stuff somewhere safe seeing as how you lose things. Here, you keep stirring and I'll bring out some things for you."

Out of a heap of glitzy stuff, I chose her plainest watch. Plating up our food, we took it to the little glass table. I just had a tiny portion on my plate; only because it smelt so damn good I had to try it.

As soon as we sat down with our glasses and cutlery, her cell phone rang. I hadn't seen her move that fast since we went shopping at the after Christmas specials. She dove for her it and grinned when she read the caller I.D.

"It's Ben. I'll be quick." She darted off to her room to answer it.

I shook my head in amusement, happy for her_. _I grabbed the wine bottle and refilled my glass.

I nearly dropped the bottle as another thought came to me.

Ben was friends with Mr. Cullen. He worked with him.

So did that Mike guy.

I would have to pretend not to know who they were when… I mean, if, I saw them again. I was sure to see Ben at some point if he continued to date Angela, but if I met him, she would have to introduce me as _Bella_. I'd never be able to admit that I was there when they first met. How sad would that be? What if they got married one day, and I had to omit that from my bridesmaid's speech?

Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself. She only just met the dude.

Spending my weekends with Angela was the only time I got to relax and go out, and now it seemed that I'd have to be on guard if Ben was around to see me looking more like Marie.

I reached for my half empty wine glass and downed the rest of it in one go. The reality of how screwed up this situation had become crashed down on me. This was much bigger than me just fooling Mr. Cullen for one night. Now I'd trapped Angela in my web of deceit as well.

I sloshed more wine into my glass, all previous appetite for food gone.

I would come face to face with my one night stand in two days, and he would have no appreciation or awareness of the amazing time we'd shared together, of how we'd explored each other's bodies.

And I had to make sure it stayed that way.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Just so you know… Angela's snazzy **Equinox** **Apartments** are _real_! (I have no affiliation or claim)

I found them online and had to use them for the name, even though I don't like the song, it's still a connection to Twilight!


	3. Failed Expectations

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

A massive hug and kiss goes to **Belindella** for relentlessly helping me with this story, and for the hours of pre-reading and editing she does. You're fantastic, sweetie!

Thanks to my PTB betas **Furious Kitten **& **fantasmaqrt** for their time and dedicated effort, for being patient with my usage of comma's and for pointing out my Aussie phrases! I am getting there!

Okay, enough said. Here we go starting with Edward…

* * *

**Chapter Three: Failed Expectations **

**Edward:**

I groaned and rolled over in bed, squinting at the harsh sunlight that sliced across my face through the blinds. Glancing at the space beside me, I was surprised that Blue Eyes wasn't passed out next to me. After all that sex, I guessed she was in the shower.

Mmmm, shower sex. We hadn't done that yet. I wondered if she was too sore.

"More," she had pleaded, unable to get enough. "Oh, Edward. Yes!"

The way she'd tormented me with her act of indifference when I'd first met her in the club had nearly driven me insane. I usually had the opposite problem of trying to get rid of clingy women or the chase being all too easy. Last night I was determined to try and get her, and fucking hell, did I get her all right. Many times.

My smug smile was huge as I quickly untangled my legs from the twisted sheets and rose to my feet. I stood up, rubbed my chest then stretched my arms over my head, feeling the muscles that hadn't been used for a while groan in appreciation. Hell, just thinking of her tight little body, her talented hot, wet mouth and the way she had moaned my name, all breathy and sweet, was making my muscles twitch with adrenaline and need. Again. My cock was hardening just from the memory of her touch.

Shower sex sounded good. Why couldn't I get enough of this woman?

I wanted another night with her again, and I wondered if I could persuade her to give me her number so that last night wouldn't be just a one night stand. God, she was flexible, too. Yeah, I wanted her to stay a few hours before check-out. Maybe go another round… or three.

I walked towards the ensuite bathroom and paused outside the door, frowning. I couldn't hear the shower going or any noise inside, so I opened the door while knocking and… nothing. I turned and walked down the short corridor that led into the rest of the suite and tripped over a damn shoe. I started stepping over my discarded clothes from last night when it hit me. Where were her clothes? I remembered stripping every article from that gorgeous body of hers last night, but… they were gone.

"Blue eyes?" My voice was hoarse and husky as it echoed through the empty space.

Nothing.

What was her real name again? Marcy? No. Mary? Marie? Yeah, I think that was it.

"Marie?" I called a little louder.

There was no answer.

I checked the rest of the suite for her, hoping she may have been teasing me, but soon realized she had already left.

Well, shit.

On one level, at least, I was relieved. I'd been able to avoid the parting scene with her, which I always dreaded, as women always expected so much. But I was annoyed at being left to calm my disappointed cock on my own. I'd never had a woman slip away on me before, not without a goodbye. Usually,_ I _was the first to leave after they gave me gazes of adoration as if expecting a relationship.

But, Marie... Perhaps she was embarrassed to face me in the light of day; to face all the things we'd done last night. I chuckled, remembering her vowing over and over, "It's been so long… never done this… I don't usually…" Damn she'd been cute.

After my shower, where I relieved myself to vivid images and memories of her, I gathered my clothes from last night into a garbage bag that I found in a kitchen cabinet. I also collected and threw away the used condoms that I refused to leave for the poor person who had to clean up the rest of this mess. The one thing I hated about one-night stands was having to use fucking condoms.

When all was some what tidy, I checked out of the hotel, knowing I'd be getting a bill for the damage we had done to the room. While carrying my overnight bag on one shoulder and my dirty clothes in the other, I jumped into my beloved, cobalt blue, 2009 Ford F150 truck and started the engine.

My father and his wife, Esme, would be returning with Henry to my house soon and staying for lunch.

I just had to make a quick stop at the local dry cleaners to drop off my suit before I immersed myself back into the role of 'daddy' again.

**-xxx-**

As I awoke Monday morning to the early dawn sounds of birds chirping in the nearby woods, a guttural groan slipped through my lips at the awful realization of what fucking day it was.

Three years ago today, my world had shattered, along with my heart.

This date would forever be linked with death, loss and sorrow. Of broken dreams and of little pink dresses that would never be worn.

My little Cynthia.

I closed my eyes, envisioning what she would have looked like today if… She'd be almost three she have had Henry's blond hair and blue eyes like Rose, or would she have looked more like me?

I could imagine the cute, girly giggles that I was never privileged to hear as I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and dragged my sorry ass out of my bed to have a shower and force myself through this day. Henry would be up soon, jumping all over me with his energy and enthusiasm, and I'd have to pretend my heart wasn't breaking all over again for the little sister he never got to know.

He would have been a fantastic big brother.

Later, as I stood with a white towel around my hips, looking through my walk-in closet for what I was going to wear, my eyes drifted up to where the small, mauve box was hidden on the top shelf.

It called to me.

Sitting on the end of my bed, still wearing a towel, I lifted the dusty lid off the box of memories. The contents blurred due to my tear filled eyes. I angrily wiped them away before my fingers pulled out one of Cynthia's pale pink knitted booties. _She never even got to wear it._

And today of all days, Rose was skiing in fucking Switzerland with that superficial cocksucker, Royce. Was she mourning our daughter at all? Did she even remember what fucking day today was?

I hoped I wasn't the only one who remembered my daughter today.

**-xxx-**

**Bella (the same day): **

I woke up Monday morning to my alarm clock blaring as the red digits glared at me: 7:45. I hit the snooze button and knocked the damn thing to the floor by accident, but at least it stopped torturing me.

Thankful for the extra sleep, I stretched my body in my soft and warm bed then yawned, long and loud. I wasn't due to be at Mr. Cullen's house till nine-thirty and I had an hour before I had to leave to catch the ferry.

As I lay under my fluffy white covers, I wondered what kind of bed, or bedroom for that matter, I'd be sleeping in while staying with him. I had only seen half of the downstairs main living areas when I had taken Henry for his piano lessons twice a week.

I could feel the butterflies brimming in my stomach. I trembled with both trepidation and anticipation at the thought of being in his house, seeing him everyday, being within such close proximity… I was nervous about him recognizing me, but I couldn't contain my excitement at the thought of being able to ogle him for long periods of time over the next ten days.

Wow. Ten days…

I let out a huge agitated breath.

I showered and dressed, opting to slip into a pair of dark blue jeans and a fitted, white T-shirt. Simple. I gathered my hair up into a messy bun and slipped my prescription glasses and black Converse shoes on.

As I ate a bowl of cereal at the black granite breakfast bar, I looked around the quiet apartment. I kept expecting to see Henry's blonde head pop up amongst the red cushions on the sleek grey sofa or catch him hiding under the black glass dining table. The little terror. He loved scaring me whenever he could, usually because it ended with him getting tickled or hung upside down.

I was excited to get to Mr. Cullen's just to see Henry. I'd never been so emotionally attached to the previous kids I looked after, but I guessed it was because Henry had no one else; he had no siblings and only a few friends his age from kindergarten to help support him through the mine-field of being fought over by bickering, divorced parents. I knew he had his two cousins, and often played with them when he went to his father's, but I could relate to his situation and my heart broke for him. I lived to make his cornflower blue eyes shine with laughter.

The door bell sounded as I was brushing my teeth, and a fresh wave of anticipation hit. I splashed some water on my face before I yelled that I was "coming," then grabbed my pillow, toiletry bag and purse as I ran to open the front door. Eric, the young bell-boy who I suspected had a crush on me ever since I'd moved in with Rose, was smiling at me as I opened the door.

"Thanks, Eric."

I grimaced as I pointed to my old suitcase which was waiting for him just inside the door. I'd packed it yesterday until it was straining at the seams, and I couldn't fit another item in there.

"It doesn't have wheels," I apologized. "And I don't have muscles, so…"

Eric was as thin as I was, and I had no idea how he'd go about lifting it onto the trolley if I could barely manage to drag it.

"No problem, Bella. I've got it." He flashed me a cocky grin and went to pick it up. He yanked on the handle, and I bit my lip to keep from chuckling as he pulled and pulled while the thing sat there like dead weight.

"Are you sure?" I asked, with a straight face. I looked around and noticed he didn't have a trolley in the hallway. "I asked the concierge for a trolley. Should I call them again?" Why wouldn't he bring one if I requested it?

"No. No, I'm good." Eric lifted it an inch off the ground, and I watched his knees shake as he carried it out the door. I collected my car keys and door card from the hallway table and said goodbye to the place I called 'home.'

I caught the elevator down to the basement parking garage with Eric. He used a trolley that he found when we exited the elevator, and he wheeled my bag to the new silver Volvo I had been provided with as my 'nanny car.' After both Eric and I had struggled to get my suitcase into the trunk, I thanked him and slid into the driver's leather seat.

I had given Eric a decent tip and hoped he would understand it was for his effort and had no romantic feelings behind my generosity.

Only one man made me quiver in desire. And he didn't even know.

Revving the engine to life, I placed my iPod into the docking station and put it on random before blasting the speakers. It was a great distraction from my nerves. Singing to force myself to relax, I pulled into the city's early morning traffic and headed for Pier 52.

As much as I loved Henry, I hated listening to _The_ _Wiggles_.

I made it to the huge ferry in ample time and walked up to the top deck to find a seat in the morning sunshine. I reminded myself how Angela was right about so many things, particularly that Mr. Cullen had been drinking a lot Friday night, and that I shouldn't be too concerned if he recognizes some resemblances. Plenty of people share similarities. I just had to be careful for ten days and try to keep the likeness to a minimum.

I could do that.

I watched the familiar Seattle skyline move away as the ferry cruised across the glassy waters of Puget Sound. Every spin of the boats propellers brought me closer towards my temporary home on Bainbridge Island and the handsome Mr. Cullen.

The drive towards his house always managed to make me feel as though I was leaving the rest of the world behind and entering a different dimension. It felt isolated from the busy, hectic life of living in the city. But today, it didn't hold the same peaceful serenity it usually did. As I drove along the narrow, isolated road that was lined with trees and bushes, it soon gave way to an open expanse of manicured lawn and small hedges that drew you towards the home. The white window frames stood out against the wood and stone exterior of the huge, double story Craftsman style house, and I could see the top half of the stable-like front door was open in welcome for me.

Knowing that the man I had shared the most amazing sex with not two nights ago was within those walls made my stomach tighten and my heart start thumping erratically against my ribs.

I started to panic, not knowing if I could do it.

But, I had to do it.

I told myself to just act normal.

My fingers were aching from their tight grip on the steering wheel. I took a deep, shaky breath as I came to a stop on the gravel drive in front of the house, pleased that I was on time.

I could do it.

I turned off the ignition and looked down the straight, hedge-lined path leading to the front door to see _him_ walking towards me with Henry running full pelt in front of him with a huge, toothy grin. My face lit up into a smile seeing Henry so happy, before my eyes rose to take in the tall, muscular man behind him. My stomach fluttered so much I felt slightly woozy.

Damn he looked good.

His dark blue T-shirt hugged his chest and firm waist, hinting at the perfection I had touched beneath. My eyes lowered to his silver belt buckle and dark blue jeans then back up to his determined gaze and messy auburn hair. My heart thudded as he caught me looking at him, and I quickly looked to Henry who was at my window. I was worried if Edward – _Mr. Cullen_, recognized me.

_Act normal._

_I can do this._

"Bella! Bella! Bella!" Henry opened my door for me.

"Hey, little man…" I peeked back up at Mr. Cullen, relieved to see his expression had softened and held none of the judgement or anger I had expected to see if he knew. I sucked in a relieved breath and smiled at him.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen."

He nodded. "Hello, Bella."

"Bella, come see my new Ben-10 watch! Dad bought it for me! Come on! It's in the kitchen."

"Oh, really? Cool!" I stepped out of the 'nanny car' and picked Henry up, wrapping him in a big hug. God, he was just too cute!

"It glows too," he continued, undisturbed by my fervent kisses on his soft, plump cheeks, "and – and – and you can see heaps of different pictures and... Come on, I'll _show_ you."

I put him on his feet and he started pulling me by my hand towards the house, past Mr. Cullen. The boy was strong and all muscle, but before I could tell him to hold up, Mr. Cullen's smooth, velvety voice froze the words in my throat and stopped my heart.

"Henry, why don't we help Bella so she can get settled in first?"

I smiled at him as Henry stopped his assault on my arm, but Mr. Cullen continued to look past me to his son. My eyes flickered back to Henry, and I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Can you help me, dude? You know I'll need your muscles…"

"Mmm-kay," was his non-enthusiastic answer, but he loved it when I told him how strong he was.

I turned to the man who made my heart thump and my lower regions throb. I looked up into his beautiful bottle green eyes that moved to mine. My smile faded when I noticed he had faint purplish bruises under his red-rimmed eyes. I wondered if Henry was having nightmares again and keeping them both awake.

He dropped his gaze back to Henry. "How are you today, Bella?" It was a pathetic attempt at civility as the words were hollow and he just continued to watch Henry swinging my hand to and fro.

With a heavy heart, I realized this man wasn't the sexy, suave_ Edward_ from the other night. This was my boss, Mr. Cullen, whom I was used to working for. Of course! What the hell did I expect, for him to treat me like Marie? I told myself to get a grip and wake up.

At least he didn't recognize me!

Angela was right.

"Um, fine. Thanks." I swallowed and forced another smile, but he didn't return it. I had become used to his brusque treatment of me when I had started, but lately, he had been softening to me and even been somewhat pleasant. Were we back at square one? Gnawing on my bottom lip, I refused to dwell on the memory of how he couldn't get enough of me the other night, even calling me "Blue Eyes."

I swung the strap of my purse over my shoulder and walked around to the back of the car to open the trunk. I passed my little toiletry bag to Henry and thanked him for helping. Perhaps he wasn't being as friendly because he'd had a rough time with his son…?

"Has Henry been good for you?" I asked, gripping my pillow under my arm and taking another peek at his chiselled face and stubbled square jaw. He was staring into the trunk, a blank look in his eye. I could tell from the muscles flexing at the side of his jaw that he was clenching his teeth together. Was he was noticing that my suitcase didn't have wheels? He must have been realizing that he'd have to carry the damn thing.

"He's always fine with me," he growled, and I inwardly recoiled and diverted my shocked gaze back into the trunk.

What the hell? We're back to being snappy?

He stepped closer, making my breath hitch as I got a whiff of _Edward_. He grasped my suitcase handle in his strong, capable hand. "Let me get this, you get the rest." His tone was softer, and I relaxed a little.

"Okay. Thanks."

I was about to warn him how heavy it was, but he lifted it with minimal effort and set it onto the gravel. I almost laughed and told him what a bitch it had been getting it into the trunk, but I didn't think he was in the mood for small talk or my nervous ramblings. Instead, I admired the way his muscles flexed and bulged under his tight shirt with every movement he made as he placed my suitcase on the pavement.

God, I loved his muscles.

I was too busy looking at his shoulders and strong arms, remembering what he looked like hovering over me in dim light, to hear what he said. He'd stepped forward and peered through the back window of the car. He turned to look at me, and I raised my eyes to take in his expectant expression.

Shit, what'd he just say?

"Huh?" I asked, pushing my prescription glasses up my nose a little with my index finger.

He rose to stand straight again and lowered his chin so he was staring at me through his long eyelashes. They had to have been longer than my own. How was that fair?

"Did you bring anything else?" he asked, as if I were simple.

Shit. I had to stop picturing him naked and pay attention to what he says.

"Ah, no." I flushed. "Just this. I couldn't decide so I brought a heap of gear, plus a few coats, but I wasn't going to bring my _whole_ wardrobe with me seeing as how I was only here for ten days and the weather forecast predicts it's going to be mostly sunny anyway, so I thought…"

His constant, empty stare made my brain slow to a stop.

Thankfully, Henry saved me.

"Come on, Bella. I'll show you your room. It's right next to mine." He ran up the path before turning around. "Come _on!_"

"Okay, okay," I chuckled, anxious to get moving. "I'm right behind you."

I followed him through the wide, wooden front door and into the expansive, light filled great room with Mr. Cullen carrying my suitcase behind me. He didn't even appear to be breathing heavy.

The memory of Edward's laboured, ragged breathing made my whole body flush with want and desire.

Henry ran up to the first floor, annoyed that I wasn't bolting up the stairs with him.

"This way. Come _ooon_."

When I neared the first floor landing, the view through the row of French doors that opened up onto a narrow balcony overlooking the backyard took my breath away and made me stop in awe.

"Wow!" I whispered to myself. The lush green lawn rolled down to a pebbly shoreline then disappeared into the massive expanse of shimmering blue water before rising to the snow capped peaks of the Olympic Mountains beyond. It was breathtaking. A far cry from the bright Seattle lights!

A sharp cough startled me from my observation.

"Sorry," I murmured over my shoulder to Mr. Cullen who was waiting on the step behind me, loaded down with my heavy bag. _Oops!_

I kept following Henry, who was skipping in front of me, looking back occasionally to make sure I was keeping up. When I turned and walked along the side landing, I gazed down into the great room. The house felt different from up here… bigger, brighter, and I had a new appreciation for the two story stone wall that housed the massive, open fireplace. I followed Henry into a short hallway and noticed what must have been his bedroom to the left. He disappeared into the opposite room where I found him leaping onto a very plush looking, queen-size bed covered in a fluffy white comforter that made me want to flop onto it. It looked wonderful and comfortable.

I hardly noticed Henry jumping on my bed with Mr. Cullen so close. Usually, I would have reprimanded Henry for being such a little brat – he knew not to jump on beds. The devilish look on his cute little face as he watched me, baiting me, let me know he was waiting for me to say something.

"Um, you should have everything you need," the smooth voice stated behind me. "If not, just tell me."

I turned my face and watched Mr. Cullen run his hand through his thick, wavy hair as he surveyed the large guest bedroom, seeming distracted.

I had run _my_ hand through that hair not so long ago and my fingers tingled with the memory, wanting to touch, to feel…

"You have your own bathroom," he continued, his eyes still not meeting mine. I forced myself to pay attention. "As does Henry, so you won't be sharing. The French doors there…" He pointed across the room and my gaze followed, seeing a set of white, French doors opening onto a small landing. "They lead downstairs in case of a fire or anything, but otherwise, I'll ask that you keep them locked and the key out of reach from Henry."

"Of course," I muttered, on edge by his serious, blunt manner.

"Okay," he said, squaring his broad shoulders and taking a deep breath. "Come on, Henry. How about we let Bella unpack her things while we get you your morning snack?" Henry groaned and started to whine about showing me his new watch, ignoring his dad.

"I'll be down soon." I helped him off the bed and nudged him towards the door with my hand on his back.

"Swear?" he asked, frowning up at me.

"I swear." I smiled as he walked away. My grin fell when I glanced up into Mr. Cullen's indifferent expression.

"Meet us in the kitchen when you're done." He turned and disappeared after Henry down the hall.

"Okay…" I agreed to his back.

Once I heard them talking on the stairs, I collapsed backwards onto the bed, the feather comforter puffing around me as I stared up at the ceiling.

Whoa. That was… intense.

I was thankful for the moment alone to catch my bearings and steady my erratic heartbeat. So, I was under Mr. Cullen's roof. I sat up and looked around my provisional room for the next ten days. The bed was as comfortable as it had looked, and I bounced a little to test it out. Yep, it was a winner.

My room was decorated in beige and white, with a few subtle splashes of red. There was a small wooden desk and chair against the wall and a plush looking red and white striped recliner in the corner that I could see myself snuggling in to read or draw at night. A narrow flat screen TV sat above a timber chest of drawers near the ensuite bathroom door, and I was pleased to see a DVD player, too. I'd have to inspect Mr. Cullen's movie collection later.

I wondered if we liked the same types of films.

After unpacking my suitcase into the walk-in closet, I dumped my toiletry bag on the vanity in the spacious, cream colored ensuite bathroom before I checked myself over in the huge mirror. I pushed my glasses back up my nose and tucked a few loose tendrils of hair that had come away from my messy bun behind my ears. I looked a little dorky, but nothing like Marie, so that gave me confidence. My heart rate had calmed now, but I knew it would start racing again as soon as I saw him.

**-xxx-**

I walked down the stairs and turned right to head for the kitchen. Once I neared the dinning room, I could hear Henry asking if he could go up to my room and get me.

Mr. Cullen chuckled. "You should have felt how heavy that suitcase of hers was. She'll be a while, buddy."

I giggled, standing in the archway of the kitchen, making my presence known. Mr. Cullen's smile faltered as he turned to look at me, stiffening as he sat on the kitchen stool.

I felt like he thought I was invading his personal space, despite him telling me to come down.

"Sorry." I still felt the need to explain my presence. "I'm a speedy unpacker."

"No, it's all right," Mr. Cullen muttered, giving me a tight smile. "Come in."

"Thanks."

"Bella! Bella! Look." Henry sat on the stool closest to me, holding up his wrist. I walked over and listened with dramatic enthusiasm as he described in fascinated detail all the gadgets and functions of his awesome new watch that showed pictures of grotesque creatures rather than the time.

When he started to repeat himself for the third time, Mr. Cullen suggested to Henry that he play his new computer game on the laptop.

"It's on the coffee table in the music room. All ready to go," Mr. Cullen informed. Henry walked off with a skip in his step. His father turned to me and motioned to the kitchen stools. "Sit, Bella. There are a few things we need to discuss."

I swallowed hard and chewed on my lip. "Or do you want a coffee first? Grab a coffee if you want. It's freshly brewed." I noticed he had a mug in front of him.

"Thanks. But can I have tea instead? I'm dying for a cup o' tea."

He nodded, a little surprised.

I made my way into the large, adjoining butler's pantry and flicked the stainless steel electric kettle on to boil before opening the overhead cabinet and choosing a colourful, spotty mug that I'd seen him use on occasion. I reached over and selected a teaspoon from the nearest drawer then opened the little canister on the bench for a tea bag, followed by a heaped teaspoon of sugar into my mug.

"You seem to know your way around."

I jumped and twisted to the side, grasping my throat. He stood a few feet from me with his arms crossed over his chest and his expression guarded.

I gasped at his proximity and his spicy cologne that filled my nostrils. Turning back around, I poured the boiled water into my mug.

"I, uh, I've seen you make coffee for Irina when I've been here, so…" Though he'd never made _me_ a cup of _anything_.

"Oh. Right." He cleared his throat, and I was glad that he didn't comprehend that I had studied his every movement while I had been here, even though Irina always had coffee and not tea. I had watched him make himself a cup of tea once so I knew where the mugs and spoons were in the butler's pantry that were there just for tea drinkers. Knowing I'd better start familiarizing myself with his kitchen, I turned around to the fridge behind me and pulled out a fresh carton of milk.

It was full-fat. I had a flash of Granny Mabel making me creamy sweet tea or "Kiddy-tea" as she used to call it when I was about eight. I hadn't had full-fat tea in years.

"Speaking of Irina…" he started, stepping back to lean against the archway next to the fridge. "She'll be here at four for Henry's piano lesson."

Ugh. I'd forgotten all about her. That would mean having to watch and listen to her gush over everything Mr. Cullen said. I wondered if I was required to sit with them, now that I was staying here.

"Okay," I mumbled. I popped opened the carton then poured a small dash of the creamy milk into my tea. I'd have to wait awhile for it to be cool enough not to scorch my lips. On my next trip out I would certainly be buying half-fat milk.

I put the milk back in the huge, double-door stainless steel fridge and walked back to pick up my mug

"I won't be here though," he said. His words made my feet trip. He was always there. I looked up to notice the corners of his mouth twitch at my little stumble before his features smoothed out again."I've got to go to work shortly, and because I've taken the morning off, I have to stay later this afternoon. But I'll be back before dinner at six."

"Oh, okay." What on earth would I make him?

I followed him back to sit at the kitchen's island counter and sat with a seat between us, leaving a comfortable space.

"Here." He pushed two pieces of paper along the marble counter towards me. I reached for them, taking a burning sip of my tea. "I'm sure you've covered things like this with Rose," he continued, seeing my curious look. "But, I've listed a few things that you need to adhere to while you're here with me."

'Here with me'. Geez that sounded good.

I nodded, trying to contain my smile while I looked over the first piece of paper. It was titled 'Nanny's Expectations.'

My smile morphed to a slight frown and my heart shrank a little as I gazed down the list. I couldn't see my name, only the term 'nanny'.

The list outlined what he did and didn't want me to do throughout the day with regards to Henry.

I frowned, not thinking it necessary, but out of respect, skimmed over the list while I continued to sip my tea, ignoring the way it burned my tongue.

"_No smoking in the house or around Henry_?" I quoted, quirking an eyebrow at him. "But I don't smoke." I hoped to thin the suffocating atmosphere that surrounded us by teasing him a little. He appeared way too serious, and I wanted him to smirk or something. _Anything._

He met my mischievous look, not even cracking a smile. "I didn't think you did, but, you never know."

I swallowed hard and read on. "You don't want me to bathe or put Henry to bed?" I was perplexed, reading that _he_ wanted to do that.

"No. While I'm home, he's my responsibility and seeing as how I'll always be home for dinner, I'll do what's required _before_ breakfast and _after_ dinner."

"Okay." I shrugged, and a thought suddenly occurred to me. I couldn't resist. "So does that mean you'll be cleaning the kitchen after dinner, too?" I smirked.

He didn't look half as impressed by my attempt at humor as I'd hoped.

"No. That's all yours." His frustrated tone made me look down, my smile disappearing. I was desperate to see the fun, relaxed side of him that I had given myself to the other night. Where was _he_? "It's number five, Bella."

I read; _**'No. 5: General cleaning – Nanny to pick up after self and Henry, to make sure house is tidy at all times. Kitchen is to be cleaned before end of shift, except on weekend.'**_

I looked up, shocked that he didn't think cleaning was just typical of this job. It was like saying to a bus driver, "You must stop at all stops for passengers."

"I was only joking," I told him. "I do all this already, though Rose and I have this –"

He cut me off with a heavy sigh. "Look. I don't care what you do with Rose. I have to go to work, so… how 'bout you read it, and if you have any questions, then you can tell me later."

Unable to speak, I just nodded, stunned. I had only wanted to tell him about Rose and my more flexible arrangement. I couldn't believe he thought he needed to put all these basic, common sense rules into writing and have a serious sit-down with me. I was a twenty-two-year-old woman who had four years of nannying experience and glowing references for crying out loud! I wasn't an errant teenager doing this for pocket money!

"Good." He rose to his feet, his tone a little softer, and walked to the sink. "Ah, I'll be back for dinner by about six, hopefully. I stocked the pantry and fridge yesterday, so you should find something to make for dinner easy enough." He rinsed his mug then placed it in the dishwasher. While I'd normally be impressed by a guy doing that, I couldn't get past the idea that he thought so little of my competency.

"Oh, there's one more thing," he said as he turned back to face me. I could see him lean back against the sink from the corner of my eye. He raised a hand to grip onto the front of his hair. I turned my eyes to him and was locked into his serious gaze. "The last three rules are crucial, and though I expect you to obey them _all_, those are vital. Understood?"

Only two nights ago he was whispering naughty things in my ear as he made me come in wild abandonment, and today he was treating me like a child.

I swallowed, blushing from embarrassment. How was I going to handle this?

He was waiting for my answer, so I nodded with an "Mm-hmm" while glaring down at my hands on the counter, having no idea what the three rules he was referring to were.

It was not how I expected our first day to go.

He walked past me, and I faintly heard him call and talk to Henry as I sat, lock-still, leaning heavily against the countertop with my forearms while my short nails dug into my palms. The pain was a welcomed distraction from the crushing feeling in my chest.

Why was he was so different towards me when I was Marie?

I knew I had to put aside my memories of him as _Edward_ and focus on working for him as Mr. Cullen, but it was a lot harder to separate the two than I thought. I knew I couldn't keep expecting him to treat me the same as he did on Friday night. Even though it was special, that moment was over now. I was back to working for him as his son's nanny, so I had to clear my head and kick it into gear.

I quickly ran my eyes down the page until I found the last three rules he had talked about.

'_**No. 12: Nanny is strictly forbidden to enter Mr. Cullen's bedroom. – In turn, Mr. Cullen will not enter nanny's bedroom.'**_

Well damn. Did he seriously think I was the kind of girl to seduce him in the middle of the night? Okay… bad example.

'_**No. 13: Nanny is strictly forbidden to enter Mr. Cullen's workshop, and is to ensure that Henry does not enter either.'**_

I had no idea that Mr. Cullen even had a workshop. Why was that off limits? What kinky shit was he into? I understood the bedroom, but…

'_**No. 14: Nanny is to supervise Henry when down at the shoreline, at the pond or in the pool at all times, and to ensure he is safe with floatation device on if swimming.'**_

Well, helloooo! As if I would let his son swim alone or without swimming wings on! Geez! Did he take me for an idiot?

Despite my best efforts, I couldn't help feeling insulted by his lack of opinion and trust in me. I thought I'd already proven myself to him through Rose. Why embarrass me by insulting my intelligence?

"Bella?" Mr. Cullen called, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I turned and saw a flash of apprehension in his eyes as they met mine before he looked down to Henry who was hugging his leg.

He looked back up at me with blank eyes. "I'm leaving now, so you need to look after Henry."

Did he think I wouldn't watch his son if he didn't tell me to?

I couldn't restrain my frustration any longer. I snapped. "_Of course!_" I didn't mean to say it at all, let alone sound so hurt and angry.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I sat frozen in shock at my outburst, too scared to move let alone apologize.

I watched with baited breath as he ignored my outburst and kissed Henry on the top of his head then strode out. I noticed his lips were pressed into a hard line and his hands were balled into fists.

I'd shouted at him? What the hell?

Why had I snapped? I had taken a lot of shit from employers before, and as I rehashed it, what Mr. Cullen said was nowhere near as bad as what I had endured in the past. The thought of humbling myself and apologizing to him made me feel nauseous, but I had to figure this out.

I had to work with my head and not my damn heart!

Henry walked towards me, and I knew I had to put aside my chaotic inner turmoil and just focus on him.

"Can we go swimming now, Bella? I've got this really cool water gun that Daddy got me. It can shoot over the fence and everything."

With his big blue eyes full of hope and excitement, I couldn't resist.

"Sure, dude. Let's go get our bathers on."

I grabbed the miserable pieces of paper, determined not to look at the second page until later, and followed Henry as he darted up the stairs to our rooms.

I wondered if the only way for me to _not_ take offense at Mr. Cullen's abrupt and bossy mannerisms was to forget how considerate and attentive he had been to me as Marie.

If Mr. Cullen kept treating me like crap, he might make my stay here easier by letting me see himand _Edward_ as two different people.

_My Edward _was the wonderful guy that I had spent a fantastic night with, having mind-blowing sex with, while connecting with him on a deeper more intimate level than I had ever experienced. Perhaps I could separate _Edward_ and Mr. Cullen, who just looked and sounded… and smelled alike. Perhaps I could think of them as twins. One evil and one good, separated at birth.

Oh, yeah, I was hilarious.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Thank you so much to all of you who have read and reviewed! You're freaking amazing! I love seeing the amount of people saving this story, but it's reading your impressions that keep me going. You've made writing this story so much fun and I get such a thrill out of reading your reviews and your words of encouragement.

**RECS:** If you haven't read **Belindella**'s stories: _Forgettable_, _Poor Little Rich Girl_, and _Oceans Of Doubt_, I highly recommend them. They're fantastic.


	4. Changed Perceptions

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

A massive hug and kiss goes to **Belindella** for relentlessly helping me with this chapter, and for the hours of pre-reading and editing she did. I'd be lost without you, sweetie!

Thanks to my beta's **Lezlee **&** LouderThanSirens** for their time and dedicated effort. Thanks _so_ much for correcting my Australian phrases and for all your suggestions, and to **devilsgenie **– my validation beta!

I'm amazed at the growing support for this story and I love hearing your views, ideas, wants and theories!

So, let's dive back in…

* * *

**Chapter Four: Changed Perceptions**

**Bella: **

**(Week one – Monday afternoon)**

After changing into a blue bikini and popping Henry into a pair of red board shorts, I followed him back down the stairs so he could show me his pool and his "awesome water gun." I walked behind him, my insides heavy with disappointment, knowing that the man I had slept with three nights ago was an absolute ass.

Who knew?

Rose… I should have given more credit to what Rose had said.

All this damn time, I'd lusted after a man who I hadn't known at all. I'd filled in the gaps of his personality with stupid romantic notions and idealistic traits, only to find Mr. Cullen wasn't like Mr. Darcy at all. The man I had met at the club had been suave, sexy, and confident… and that adorable smirk… but _he_ only existed in a time and place I couldn't go to again.

That much was clear to me now.

My wounded heart made my entire chest feel tight, and I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. I wouldn't be able to handle his abrupt mannerisms if I kept picturing him as the man who I thought I'd shared a deep connection with. It was too humiliating to be treated as the servant, while remembering how he had touched me, kissed me, and moved inside of me.

No. I hadn't been with Mr. Cullen. I had been with _Edward_.

"Hurry up, Bella!"

I took a deep breath to focus my thoughts onto Henry, and put my anxiety aside to enjoy this beautiful day with him. His infectious zest for life was always able to make me feel better, and I was in dire need of a pick me up.

"I'm coming, dude," I said, chasing him and laughing.

We stepped through the French doors of the great room and outside onto the large, paved patio that ran the length of the house. The pool was incredible. I marvelled at the kidney shaped, aqua colored pool that bordered the patio to the left of us. A glass fence wrapped around the house side of the pool, but because the land sloped away, most of the far side of the pool didn't have a fence, but was a wet edge design instead. Being fenceless offered unhindered views to the spectacular mountains. Henry was right – it _was_ a stunning pool, and I knew I would find it hard to get out of. I smiled, remembering that when I was a kid, Dad used to call me his little mermaid.

Oh, Dad…

Henry laughed and ran to the glass pool fence, flinging his towel over it and jumping up and down as he waited for me to open the high gate.

"You're going to love it, Bella!" he said. "It's got a waterfall and a slide and _everything._ But you've got to go down the slide with me because Daddy says I'm too little to go all by myself."

I chuckled at his serious tone as I popped open the gate, reading the warning, "Gate to be shut at all times." I was beginning to understand just how safety conscious Mr. Cullen was.

"Of course I'll go on the slide with you. Do you know where your swimming wings are?"

He nodded and walked over to a long, boxed bench which looked more like an elongated wooden chest that sat against the inside of the pool fence. I gasped as Henry lifted the hinged lid to reveal… a truck load of pool toys. He started throwing everything into the pool as I dug around and found a pair of adult swimming goggles for myself and wondered if they were Mr. Cullen's.

Henry held up the deflated wings I'd asked about, looking every bit as proud of himself as I was of him.

"Good boy," I said before blowing them up nice and hard while Henry threw what toys he wanted into the water.

"Come here, bud." I slipped the floaties onto his thin little arms, right up to his arm pits. "Now you're good to go."

"Yippee!" He ran and jumped into the shallow end, bobbing to the surface and doggy paddling over to a floating toy.

I chuckled, spreading my towel over a nearby white chair. Behind the chair, I noticed another sign. This time, the board illustrated direct instructions on how to resuscitate adults and children alike.

I had to give Edward five stars for being thorough.

I rested my glasses on top of my towel and untied my hair, enjoying how it tickled and stroked my bare back and waist when it was down.

Henry climbed out. "Watch this Bella!" He did some convoluted, chicken-like dance before flopping into the water, bobbing to the surface in seconds and grinning as he kicked his little legs and wiped the water from his eyes. I couldn't stop laughing, he was just too cute.

"Come on, Bella!"

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Hold your horses."

I tied my hair into a high pony tail and fitted the goggles to my eyes, with the strap below my pony tail. I kept eye contact with him as I stalked towards him, pretending to be the baddie. Henry beamed, but then I screamed like crazy as I ran and bomb dived on his left, dodging all the floating toys. When I surfaced, Henry was squealing and bobbing up and down on the swell I'd made.

"How's that?" I asked. "Was that a good one?"

He nodded. "Do it again! Do it again!"

"Oh, all right."

I was surprised and glad the water was saline and not chlorine. Chlorine had an attractive way of making my hair tinge green. It was the perfect temperature too; cool yet still refreshing. After doing another bomb dive for him, I kicked so I moved backwards but gripped him by his hands, and while I laughed like a wicked witch, I dragged him to me to tickle his slick bare belly.

"Oh-ho-ho," I laughed. "I've got you _now_, my little chicken!"

The two of us had hours of fun, slipping down the winding slide that hugged a few massive boulders that were stacked at the end of the large pool. And the water gun Henry had mentioned earlier _was_ pretty powerful, and he loved trying to shoot me with it as I ducked and dove underwater, trying to dodge his attack.

It was such a beautiful pool and so different from the boring, rectangular heated pool at Rose's apartment building. Henry and I often swan in that pool, and I would frequently go down at night to do laps by myself.

Doing laps was the only "real" exercise I did, and I enjoyed how swimming released the tension from my shoulders. I also loved the feeling of power that surged through me while I propelled myself through the water. I'd have to consider if it were possible for me to swim at night here at Edward's, without being noticed.

I was scared that if Mr. Cullen saw me almost naked, he'd see too many similarities and figure it out. I _couldn't _let that happen.

When all our toes and fingers were pruned and wrinkly, I made us a late lunch of sandwiches. We ate outside at the patio table, letting our hair dry under the warm sunshine.

Looking out over the view of the mountains, eating yummy sandwiches, and feeling tired, relaxed and warm, I sighed with happiness. It was moments like this that I loved my job.

Now dry, we lazily walked to the cosy den at the far end of the house and collapsed on the plump, cream sofa. Henry snuggled into my side, and I wrapped my arm around him. I was surprised when Henry pressed play on the DVD player, that _The Land Before Time _was already loaded for him to watch on the plasma screen.

It didn't take Henry long before he passed out, and moments later my own exhaustion overwhelmed me.

**-xxx- **

"Belllllla?" No, I thought, go away."Bella?" Not yet… Henry started to shake my shoulder. "Bella, wake up. I hear a car. Someone's here."

"What?" My eyes flew open, and I blinked, adjusting my glasses that had fallen off my nose. "Huh? What?"

For a spit second I didn't recognize where I was, until it all came back to me in a mind numbing flurry. I heard a car door close. Oh damn. Was Mr. Cullen home already? I hadn't even started dinner. I looked at my watch and released a thankful sigh that it was only four o'clock.

Four o'clock… Whoa! We'd slept for over two hours!

But,I knew I was missing something.

"Is it Irina?" Henry asked, stepping back from the sofa.

_Irina._

"Oh, yeah! Probably." I dragged myself off the comfortable couch, and followed him as he ran to the door. At the last minute, he bolted towards the kitchen area instead.

"What you doing, dude?" I asked. He didn't answer.

I saw Irina's shiny red new Mazda parked behind my nanny car from the window and sighed. She pressed the door bell. Low ringing bells echoes through the house as I opened the door with a tired smile. Irina stood there in a tight grey dress and red high heels. Her short blond hair was styled immaculate as usual, but her red lips fell into a pout when she saw me. No doubt she expected Mr. Cullen to greet her like he always did.

"What's going on?" she asked, looking past me.

"Hey, Irina. How you doing?" I moved back so she could walk past me. As she stepped into the foyer, her high heels clicked against the wooded floor boards. She looked me up and down with a sideways glance.

"Er… I'm good, how are you?" Her confusion was evident in her quirked brows.

"I'm good. Um, Mr. Cullen isn't here today. He has to work late, so… it'll just be us today." I was grateful I wouldn't be privy to her shameful flirting with him today. Then again, she probably had no idea of the insensitive man that lurked behind his confident, smooth exterior either.

"Oh." She couldn't hide her severe look of disappointment. "Have you been swimming?" She started walking towards the kitchen. I followed.

"What?" I looked down at my bikinis. "Oh. Yeah. Uh, Henry and I are staying here for a few days, so…"

"What? Why…?" She stopped, spinning around, her thin, pencilled in eyebrows scrunched together. Her tone was clipped, and I stared at her in shock. She wasn't usually this snippy. Her face transformed to one of concern. "I hope there's nothing wrong with Rosalie… is there?"

I smiled and shook my head. "What? Pft! Noooooo." I padded past her into the butler's pantry and scrounged through the fridge until I found some juice. She sat up on one of the kitchen stools and watched me open the overhead cabinet that was full of different glasses. "Rose is in Switzerland," I told her. "Royce took her over there for a skiing holiday. Did you want some orange juice?"

"Huh? Um, no, thanks." I brought two glasses down for me and Henry. "_Skiing_… in _Switzerland_…" Her eyes glazed over with a wistful look. "What a lucky bitch."

I frowned and looked around for Henry to see if he was out of earshot. He was at his laptop in the music room, engrossed in what I assumed was his new computer game.

"So…" I cleared my throat and poured the juice. "How was your weekend?"

"Okay. Yours?"

"Fantastic." I looked away and smirked. _Oh if only she knew..._

"Ireeeena!" Henry called from the music room. "Come here and look what Daddy got for me! It's a _new_ computer game…" She walked over to him and he started describing how the game worked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

"That's so cool, Henry," she cooed, patting him on the head. "Now, how about we warm up your little fingers for our lesson, okay? You know what to do." He got to his feet and she patted his back, guiding him to the bench where she lifted him up. "Good boy." He began clunking away on the keys as she settled beside him.

Irina was a talented piano teacher, but had suffered a fall out with Rose six months ago. According to Irina, Mr. Cullen had begged her to keep teaching Henry—I had my doubts about that—but it was true that Rose had caved and allowed Irina to continue teaching, but had insisted she teach Henry at Mr. Cullen's house, not hers – hence why I caught the ferry twice a week to Mr. Cullen's for Henry's piano lessons.

After drinking my juice, I gave Henry his and waited for Irina to take a break and look at me. When she did, I smiled through my grimace, knowing she hated interruptions once she'd started.

"Sorry. I ah, I'd like to take a shower, but… are you all right with Henry?"

She stared at me, eyes unblinking. I'd never seen her look at me like I was an idiot before. "It's just… you know," I fumbled. "I'm always here or Mr. Cullen is, and –"

"Go, Bella," she interrupted, looking back down at the keys. "I'm sure I'll survive without you." She encouraged Henry to continue his playing as I left the room. Confused, I rehashed my question while I walked up the stairs, realizing that in a much looser form, I'd insulted her the same way Mr. Cullen had insulted me this morning; by doubting her ability to watch Henry.

Well, shit.

Once I was in my bathroom, I stripped and stepped into my huge steamy shower, rinsing my swimmers by hand and washing the dried salt from the pool from my skin and out of my hair. There were less than two hours left before Mr. Cullen was due home for dinner. After my shower, I changed into my light grey, baggy track pants and my dad's old, dark blue T-shirt that read 'Port Angeles Police Force' on the front in bold white lettering.

I couldn't let Mr. Cullen know I was Marie, so I had to dress… casual, relaxed, unsexy.

In fact, with my glasses on, my hair piled on top of my head and no make-up on, not to mention the unflattering clothes, I looked the complete opposite of how I appeared the other night; all sophisticated and grown up in that tight red dress with my hair straightened and dark, smoky eye make up – not to mention the blue contacts and high heels.

Yeah. I'd looked goooood that night.

I was so much more convinced he wouldn't recognize me now.

When I was back in the kitchen, I opened the fridge and perused the contents, wondering what to make for dinner. It looked like a grocery store!

Lasagne sounded good. I pulled out the ingredients I needed for a salad as well and got straight to work, tuning out Henry's off-tune tinkering and Irina's whiny voice from the adjoining room.

"Henreeee," she said for the hundredth time. "Focus. Again."

By the time they were done with their lesson, the lasagne was in the oven, and I was putting the mixed bowl of tossed salad in the fridge. It was a meal I knew Henry enjoyed and was guaranteed to eat.

"So… what have you made him?" Irina asked, sliding up to the side of the fridge and startling me from my thoughts.

"Who?"

Her eyes hit the ceiling. "Edward. Duh."

"Lasagne. Where's Henry?" I looked around but couldn't see him anywhere.

She swung her heels from her index finger, looking bored. Or tired. "He said he was going to watch the rest of his dinosaur movie."

"Oh. Okay."

"I've got to go. The Henderson's are expecting me in fifteen minutes. They asked me to come early today because they've got to go to some fundraising dinner. So, I'll see you Thursday?"

"Yep. Thursday." I forced a smile. "Thanks, Irina."

"No worries, Bella. Enjoy dinner." She ambled out of the kitchen. I heard her yell goodbye to Henry, and he returned the farewell. Then the front door clicked closed before I heard her car start.

I cleaned up the kitchen before walking through the house to the den where Henry was glued to the TV, watching Little Foot, Sarah and Spike dance around on the huge screen. He could watch those movies on constant repeat and never get bored.

"Hey, honey," I said, plonking down next to him on the sofa. "You wanna do something outside before your dad gets home?"

He agreed to a walk along the shoreline to skip stones across the water. My desire to see the rest of the property and to investigate Mr. Cullen's forbidden garage was killing me. I assumed it must be the building that was hidden behind the thicket of bushes and trees that were close to the kitchen side of the house. But for now, I just wanted a slow walk to take in the stunning view across the water before I had to see _him_ again.

We went out the side door, laughing as we ran across the lawn, and I marvelled at the view once more. It was breathtaking. The deepening sun shone on our faces as I chased a giggling Henry down to the rocky shoreline. We walked for a while, admiring strange pieces of drift wood and Henry began collecting pretty coloured pebbles but he threw the ugly ones as far as he could into the water. He couldn't skip stones yet, but settled for judging the splashes he could make between one and five. He was such a boy.

"Ooooh! That one was a four," he said before throwing another.

At five-thirty, we turned around and hastened our walk home. We were almost half way up the lawn to the house when I spotted Mr. Cullen standing there, waiting for us on the edge of the paved patio. My heart started beating faster seeing him standing there with the sunlight making his hair extra bronze. I had to remind myself of my prior decision to treat him with the same apathy that he had treated me.

I could do that.

When Henry saw his father waiting for him, he broke into a run. He dropped a few of the pebbles he was carrying into the grass and stopped. He scowled at himself and bent to pick them up, but dropped two more. He was on the verge of throwing them all on the ground.

"Give them to me, sweetie. I'll take them." He dumped them into my waiting hands and took off running for his dad. I watched with wonder as a genuine smile appeared on Mr. Cullen's usually serious face as he threw a squealing Henry into the air and caught him again. He hugged him to his chest before disappearing through the dining room French doors. That brief glimpse of seeing Mr. Cullen happy, with his enthusiasm exposed, had looked similar to _my Edward_.

But he wasn't Edward.

Not Edward.

I sighed and continued walking. But something caught my eye. Glancing to my right was a beautiful pond surrounded by a lush garden. But it was the flash of white that had caught my eye. A simple white gazebo partly veiled underneath the swaying branches of a large weeping willow tree whose drooping limbs stroked the black glassy surface of the large pond with every gentle breath of breeze from the Sound. The gazebo was on the edge of the long pond and nestled amongst a thick, flourishing garden.

I had an instant desire to sketch it, knowing it would look amazing in watercolor.

I could see the pond from the kitchen windows, but I'd never noticed the gazebo before, or how beautiful the garden was. It looked serene and peaceful, and I vowed to check it out sometime tomorrow with.

"Where were you?" Mr. Cullen asked, the moment I walked into the kitchen, his abrupt tone making my hairs prickle.

Sighing, I dumped the pebbles I was carrying from the shore onto the wooden island counter and glanced at Henry who was sitting next to him on the stools, staring into a large glass of orange juice as he sipped it through a straw. I glanced back at Mr. Cullen and back at the rocks.

Couldn't he put two and two together?

"Henry didn't tell you?" I asked.

Mr. Cullen just quirked an eyebrow and kept his blank gaze locked on mine.

I hadn't done anything wrong, had I?

I didn't think so.

"We went for a walk." Obviously. I couldn't fathom why he was upset with me. I'd done nothing wrong, and I wasn't about to back down from his clear attempt to make me feel like an incompetent servant again.

"I couldn't find your note," he ground out through clenched teeth, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"What note?"

"The note that told me where you were. I looked everywhere but…"

He'd wanted me to leave him a note? How was I to know he would be home early?

His slow, calm moves and soft voice belied the anger I could see swirling inside those stormy green eyes of his. I took a deep breath to find my voice, thankful he wasn't yelling at me in front of Henry who was blowing bubbles into his orange juice.

I walked to the oven to check on the lasagne. "I didn't expect you back here early," I said. Another few minutes and the buzzer would ding.

"What if Henry had had an accident? And you couldn't leave him alone or move him. How would I know where to look for you when you didn't come home?"

I turned to face him but kept my eyes diverted. My teeth gnawed my bottom lip. "I… I…We…"

As much as I didn't want to, I _could_ see his point.

"I called your cell…" he continued, ignoring my blundering. "And followed the sound to your room."

Oh.

I swallowed hard and cursed myself for not taking it with me.

"Bella?" He paused until I looked at him, and I swallowed with uneasiness. "You _must_ tell me where you plan on taking my son if you leave the house." His voice was calm but firm and it made his words have more impact than if he had screamed them. "And, _please_, remember to keep your cell phone on you."

I nodded. "Okay." I turned, not wanting to face him anymore, and opened a deep drawer before lifting three dinner plates onto the counter. I could feel my face heating with embarrassment and anger at myself.

"But Bella…"

What now!

I met his gaze, relieved to see his eyes had softened.

"It's for _your _safety as well. You know that, right?" I blinked, surprised_._ "Accidents happen easily, and I don't want you ending up hurt somewhere and me not knowing where you are or you not being able to call for help."

Huh.

I nodded, stunned by his concern and… consideration? He cleared his throat then smoothed his hands down his toned chest making me lose focus for a minute as I remembered how good his muscles had felt under _my_ hands.

That had been Edward's chest I'd felt, _not_ Mr. Cullen's.

**-xxx-**

**Edward:**

Just as I was about to step onto the grass to search the pond and shoreline, I saw Bella and Henry walking towards me, about fifty meters away. Their slow pace showed they had no idea of the panic they'd just put me through.

Why hadn't she left a fucking note?

I was aware I was home earlier than what I had previously said, but there was still no excuse.

I laughed as Henry ran full pelt into my waiting arms. Lifting him up, I threw him a few feet into the air before catching him again. I loved the unreserved faith he had in me that I would never let him fall. The ache in my chest that had been present most of the day eased as he smiled back at me with his adoring blue eyes.

After I'd set him up with a drink at the kitchen counter and calmed myself down some, I tried to stress my point about being prepared for accidents to Bella as gently as I could… well, until I was sure she understood. I was annoyed at her for not even _thinking_ about the possible ramifications that could have happened if one of them had been hurt, but… it was her first day with me, and I really didn't want her to feel uncomfortable in my home.

I had nothing against the poor girl. She'd been great with Henry, and it was obvious he liked her. She'd always been punctual, which I liked, and was always very courteous. She was also quiet, preferring to remain still and silent than flirt with me like the preceding nannies had. I never enjoyed having those girls stay with me, but surprisingly, Bella seemed more mature than the prior nannies, which I found less… exhausting_,_ to say the least.

This morning had been tense enough, with the memory of Cynthia's death at the forefront of my mind, so I kept my reprimand short before changing the topic onto dinner. Rose had raved to me about Bella's cooking and had boasted that I was in for an undeserved treat.

"Er, I made lasagne," Bella said, watching me carefully. "Is that okay?"

"Lasagne sounds great. Doesn't it, Henry?" Bella's shoulder's relaxed.

Henry nodded. "Mm-hm. I _love_ lazana!"

She smiled at Henry, her face full of warmth, her eyes shinning as they gazed at him.

I had never seen her smile like that before, and I was kind of taken aback at how her whole face lit up. Gazing past Bella's black-rimmed glasses, I could see her dark brown eyes were shaped like beautiful almonds. Her face was so expressive…

Stop staring at her!

She's blushed and bit her lip, awkwardness pouring off her. "Err… dinner will be ready soon. I can call you…"

What was she anxious about?

Bella wasn't usually this nervous, and I didn't find it very appealing. I was annoyed she was feeling uptight around me as it made _me_ feel edgy and uncertain in my own home. So _what _if I liked being able to look at women who were aware of their own beauty and not afraid of their sexuality?

Like _Marie_ had been.

I'd never really taken the time to look at Bella before, my eyes being diverted by her messy hair and glasses in the fleeting moments we'd exchanged pleasantries with each other in the past, but I could see that although her features were plain, they were… nice enough. Her heart shaped face and high cheek bones kinda reminded me of Marie.

I'd been seeing Marie in lots of other woman since… _meeting_ her three nights ago. My assistant, Jessica's blue eyes today had given me vivid flashbacks of _her_; the sexy woman I wanted to bed again. Then, the same thing happened when Ms. Chang congratulated us on our high viewer's ratings last season. Her long, straight black hair reminded me of Marie's tresses, soft and silky… wrapped around my fist while I…

I blinked my thoughts away and stood up from my stool, hoping to put her at ease by giving her some space. "Thanks. We'll go watch some TV in the den. Come on, Henry."

"Okay, dinner shouldn't be too much longer."

Walking towards the den, my thoughts once again turned to Marie.

I had to get in touch with her… but how?

**-xxx-**

**Bella:**

"Umm, Bella?" Mr. Cullen drew in a huge breath as I placed his loaded up plate in front of him. "Despite what Rose may have told you about me, I'm not a _horse._"

Ha! Is he making a joke?

Or is he having a go at me?

"Well, I… I wasn't sure how much you ate." I shrugged and then gave Henry his dinner.

He inhaled the steam rising from his plate. "Mmm. Smells… _good_."

I took his surprise as a compliment. "Thanks."

I tried to control my smirk as I walked around behind him towards my seat. I couldn't understand why that one, kind compliment made my chest swell with… pride?

When I'd set the long table, I'd placed Mr. Cullen at the head and me and Henry on either side of him.

Henry started laughing as he pointed to his dad's dinner. "It looks like Uncle Emmie's plate!"

"It does, doesn't it?" Mr. Cullen smiled while picking up his knife and fork. "You better start eating, buddy, if you want desert."

"Oh," Henry said, picking up his fork to scoop a piece of cut up lasagne before popping it into his mouth.

"Uncle?" I asked, confused, taking my seat on the other side of Mr. Cullen. "I thought you only had a sister." I brought my upholstered chair closer to the table, trying not dwell on how close my leg was now to his. "Rose doesn't have a brother, does she?"

Mr. Cullen shook his head and scoffed. "No. But Rose has never met Emmett, either." He kept his eyes on his plate. "Emmett's just a close friend who I became friends with after my split from Rose."

I decided to keep him talking, after all, he wasn't mad at me or telling me what to do right now, plus I enjoyed hearing his velvet voice.

"And is he a big eater?"

Mr. Cullen smirked. "You could say that."

Mr. Cullen started eating, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from watching his first mouthful of lasagne, desperate to know if he liked it.

"Wow. This is… very good," he mumbled, cutting into more lasagne before the next quick mouthful.

I nodded and ducked my head, my cheeks warming.

"Thank you," I said, while watching him in my peripheral vision.

"It's good, isn't it, Henry?"

"Mm-hmm," Henry said with his mouth full of food.

"Mm-hmm," Edward copied him with a smirk. I smiled, watching them as I took my first mouthful.

Damn, I'm a good cook. It _was_ delicious.

"Has Rose called today?" Mr. Cullen asked me a moment later, making my fork pause mid way to my mouth.

"Uh, no. Not yet." Was she supposed to?

"Hmm." He nodded and resumed eating, letting the conversation go quiet.

Henry ate most of his dinner with minimal fuss, which was great, leaving only the cherry tomatoes from his salad and some of the larger pieces of mushrooms from the lasagne. Mr. Cullen ate _everything_, making it impossible for me to contain my smile.

"I think Henry deserves that ice-cream," I said, winking again at the little angel, collecting his plate.

"He definitely does," Mr. Cullen said.

I picked up his plate. "Would you like some, too?"

"None for me, thanks." He shook his head and stretched backwards in his seat with a groan. He raised his eyes to the chandelier and put his interlocked fingers behind his head, making his arm muscles bulge and flex. His movement caused his T-shirt to pull up, exposing a slither of skin across his toned stomach. I stifled my moan and bit down on my lip.

Holy shit! I wanted to lick that again!

God. He. Is. Fiiiiiine.

Not wanting him to catch me ogling, I diverted my gaze to Henry. "What flavor would you like?" I squeaked.

"What sort is there?" he asked, bouncing in his seat.

I didn't know what flavours there were, I only remembered seeing a few tubs in the freezer. I just assumed that there would be a choice given the variety in Mr. Cullen's fridge and pantry.

"Ummmm –"

"Vanilla," Mr. Cullen stated to Henry. "You'll have vanilla."

I knew he was telling me as much as he was telling Henry.

"Mmmm-kay." He pouted, sitting back in his chair.

I chuckled. "I'll be back in a sec." I carried the plates to the sink and assembled Henry's scoop of ice-cream in a small wafer cone as fast as I could. The fresh image of Mr. Cullen's T-shirt, pulled tight against his chest… his happy trail disappearing into his jeans… kept taunting me. The thought of where that soft hair led to, and the amazing part of his body I knew was hidden there, made me start to tingle in a similar place as I remembered how well he could use _all_ of his body.

What was I doing? That was _not_ Edward in there! That was Mr. Freaking Cullen. Remember?

But… there was a _bit_ of Edward there tonight.

When I walked back into the dining room, I blushed as soon as I saw Mr. Cullen. Despite just giving myself a pep talk, the man was hot and so goddamn gorgeous, it was hard not to ignore his stunning looks when I wasn't immune or desensitized to them.

I gave Henry his cone and went to sit back down.

"It's pink!" Henry said, staring at his ice-cream.

Huh? What? Oh! Damnit! It was strawberry ice-cream, not vanilla.

"Oh… Um, sorry dude! Um, that's mine. Here give it to me and I'll go get yours." I scooted off to make a vanilla cone. I now had to put on a show in front of Mr. Cullen to prove that I hadn't been lost in a world of erotic memories of him while in the kitchen.

Back at the table, as he was waiting for Henry to finish his cone, I would look at _him_ every now and then as I licked my ice-cream, glancing sideways through my lashes. I remembered how I'd licked _him_ as if _he_ were an ice-cream. Mmmm, sucking, nibbling, using the flat of my tongue…

Strawberry ice cream had never tasted so good.

**-xxx-**

**Edward:**

I put Henry to bed after reading him three of his favourite books. When I saw the pale glow of light shining out from beneath Bella's closed bedroom door, I knew she was in there.

I decided to let her be and walked away. I flicked on the kitchen light, glad to see she had returned everything to how it was this morning. Just thinking about that lasagne she made for dinner… Wow. She could cook!

And her desert of choice, being ice-cream in a cone… simple, but… hell! Did she have to eat it so damn provocatively? She'd made me rather uncomfortable when she'd looked at me through the top of her glasses while licking the ice-cream and sucking on the tip… God, if she wasn't so plain looking, I would have gotten a boner.

It made me long for Marie's mouth. Fuck, that woman could give head like no one else. If only she'd left me her phone number… I'd have to relieve myself in the shower before bed now I was thinking about her talented mouth.

Walking into the den, I flicked on the TV and settled in to watch _Law & Order: SVU_ with a bottle of beer. It wasn't long before my thoughts about Cynthia wandered to Rose. I wasn't very surprised when Bella had told me Rose hadn't called. Rose didn't like talking about Cynthia, but she hadn't even called to talk to Henry. Sometimes I swore it was like she preferred to be childless, and that thought made me sick. How could she not call to say goodnight to our son? The woman was drowning in decadence and she couldn't see it past her damn new nose.

The house phone rang beside me, and I snatched it up before it woke Henry.

"Cullen."

"Hey there, brother of mine."

"Hey, Alice."

"So… how are you doin'?" Her soft tone revealed why she was calling. My younger sister was never one to beat about the bush. I _hadn't_ been the only one who remembered today. Dad and Esme called me earlier and Emmett had as well.

"Yeah… it was… tough, but ah…."

"Still bad, huh?"

"Just… You know."

"Yeah, I know. I thought about her all day, too. Did Rose call?"

I scoffed. "No. I didn't expect her to."

"She hasn't phoned at _all_? Has she called Henry since she left on Friday?" Alice still had high hopes that Rose would get her shit together and step up as a mom.

"No."

"Oh."

I needed to change the subject. "Are you and the boys still coming for a barbeque on Saturday?"

"Yeah. Liam and Brody are dying to go swimming with Henry. They were at me all day today, begging me to take them over now that Henry's with you, but I told them I'd have to ask you first."

"Of course you can come over. No need to ask, you know that."

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure about coming over while your nanny's there. I didn't want to intrude and for it to seem like I was dumping two more boys on her."

"You'd stay here though, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I'd stay! I wouldn't expect her to look after my two kids as well."

"I'm sure she'll be fine with it. Besides, Henry's dying to see his cousin's too."

"Okay. I'll bring 'em over tomorrow. Did you do anything special for Cynthia?" Her sudden change in topic and tone took me off guard.

"Yeah, I ah… I bought some more potted flowers for her garden, and I've ordered some Koi fish for the pond. They should be here by Thursday. I wanted Henry to see them while he was here. I think he'd enjoy feeding and watching them, you know?"

It wasn't much, but I thought Cynthia would enjoy the pond garden if she was here. Every time I went to the gazebo, I would sit in the swing and imagine her beside me, watching the fish, smelling the flowers. I tried to make it as girly as possible, just for her.

"That's nice, Edward. Really."

"Yeah, well…" I cleared my throat of the lump that was beginning to form.

"So," Alice declared. "Tomorrow. Tell Bella I'll be there about ten, with a chocolate cake and some fruit."

"Sure, but don't tell her all my secrets. Okay, Alice?" It was more of a warning than a plea. She was renowned for talking before thinking. I often joked that the part of her brain that filter's her mouth had broken when I dropped her on her head as a baby.

"Whatever, Edward. I'll get all the juicy details on Rose before we even talk about _you_."

I rolled my eyes. Alice and Rose used to be so close during college, but that was before Rose and I divorced, effectively ending their relationship, too. Now Alice got her gossipy updates on Rose through me.

"All right, Al. I'd better go. And thanks…. It means a lot that you remembered."

"Yeah, well. Cynthia's still a member of the family, even if she's now with Mom."

Alice's words made my throat ache and the silence that hung between us grew thicker with each passing moment. Thankfully it was Alice who spoke first, her voice just a soft whisper.

"I'd better go… Jasper wants to use the phone. He says hi by the way."

"Yeah, uh, say hi to him for me, too, and that I'll see him on Saturday."

"Will do. Bye Edward."

"Bye Alice, and thanks again."

"Anytime."

I hung up the phone and sighed. I'd never admit it, but I was actually disappointed Rose hadn't called. I'd called _her_ for the past two years, but last year I'd vowed it would be my final one. It was obvious she didn't want to remember Cynthia as much as I did.

What a bitch!

Flicking off the TV, I grabbed my half empty bottle of beer before walking into the kitchen to put on my boots at the side door of the butlers pantry. I made my way through the mini forest and over to my workshop in the dimming light of the setting sun. Pushing open the door, I flicked on the lights, my eyes taking a moment to focus. I didn't feel like working on my Chevy tonight. I was too wound up.

The old punching bag called me, taunted me.

I smirked, flexing my fingers then balling them into fists. Perfect.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

A massive thank you for reading and reviewing!

Do you know who 'Henry' was in the Twilight saga?

Do you think the changes in point of views were too many? (There were 4)


	5. Tampons & Alice

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

Thank you to **Belindella **as my first port of call and pre-reader. She makes this story _so_ much more… You're fantastic, sweetie!

Thanks to my fabulous beta's **yellowjello113 **&** Furious Kitten** &** Akai_in_Story** for your time and dedicated effort. Thanks _so_ much for correcting my Australian phrases and for all your suggestions! Now you can go have some pancakes! Lol.

Okay…

* * *

**Chapter Five: Tampons & Alice **

**Bella:**

The next morning, I stood at the kitchen sink, sipping a cup of tea while gazing out the window beyond the pool to the beautiful pond garden. I was trying to spot the white gazebo I'd seen yesterday, but it was well hidden from here.

I adjusted my glasses and ran my hand down the front of my flannel, feeling the soft material and thinking of Dad. It was _his_ old red and black flannel. I'd taken it before I'd left him four years ago, wanting to have a piece of him with me, even if he didn't want _me _anymore.

Putting my cup of tea on the bench, I started the coffee machine and gathered the ingredients needed for pancakes. I decided to mix up the batter now but wait until they were both present before I started cooking as there was nothing like pancakes hot and fresh from the pan. When the batter was ready, I searched the cabinets for a skillet pan and smiled when I located the heavy thing under a pile of other pots. The skillet was huge, and did I mention _heavy_?

I dragged the thing out, grunting with effort as I lifted it up towards the cast iron stove top. I swear it weighed as much as my loaded suitcase did. Before I could stop it, my hands slipped and the pan fell onto the stove with a loud clatter of metal against metal. I gasped, knowing that if Mr. Cullen wasn't awake before, he would be _now _since his bedroom was directly above the kitchen. _Whoops!_ I chuckled and started setting the breakfast nook's small table with plates, glasses and cutlery.

The nook was surrounded by high windows on three sides with a padded bench seat and two white wooden chairs on the other side of the small table. I had just finished setting the condiments on the table and pouring orange juice into the three glasses when I heard movement above me.

He was it sounded like Henry was in there with him.

Five minutes passed, and as I sipped on my cup of tea while leaning against the counter near the stove, I could hear Henry's cheerful voice as they both descended the stairs together. My breathing increased as did my heart rate as the man I'd dreamt wicked things about earlier, walked into the kitchen looking… Oh, good God!

How was it possible for one man to look so good? His hair was a crazy mess of sexiness and his dark green button up shirt made his eyes look like the color of lush grass. It made my jaw go slack and my eyes widen.

I may have drooled a little.

Hearing Henry call my name made me realize I was gawking, so I snapped my mouth shut as he came running up to hug me.

"Morning, little man. How'd you sleep?" I leaned over and hugged him to me, cradling his head to my stomach.

"Good." His reply was muffled as his face was buried against my shirt.

I chuckled and released him, pleased that he didn't have any nightmares again. "Good to hear. How do pancakes for breakfast sound? I've got the batter all ready to go, so how many do you want?"

Henry beamed at me and held up five wide spread fingers. "Four!"

I sniggered, knowing he would only be able to manage two, and ruffled his hair. "You got it, kiddo. There's juice on the table for you. Go pick which seat you want." He walked over to the table and sat on the bench just as I turned to glance over at his father who I realized had been watching us. I nodded in greeting and swallowed. "Um, good morning."

He gave me a small smile. "Good morning, Bella."

Oh! His voice was so smooth.

"There's uh… there's fresh coffee if you want it," I muttered, pointing my thumb behind me to the coffee machine. He looked surprised and… grateful.

"Oh. Thanks." He dropped what looked like a black leather jacket onto the kitchen stool and walked around the other side of the island to the coffee machine.

Oh! His scent, all masculine and spicy…

My cheeks began to blush, so I turned on the burner and placed the skillet on the flickering flame, cursing how my own face was burning hot.

I was aware of his every move. He strolled to the table and sat beside Henry on the padded bench. Was he looking at me? I couldn't tell.

I had to focus. I melted some butter in the heating pan, using a soup ladle, I measured out four pancakes and drank the rest of my tea while watching for bubbles.

"Do you have anything planned today, Bella?" Edward asked.

"Huh? Oh. Not really," I stuttered, keeping my eyes on the pan. "I ah, I do need to go to the store sometime today for a few things, and I thought I'd take Henry to the park for a while, but other than that…"

"What do you need at the store?"

"Just… stuff." I shrugged as I flipped the pancakes. When I'd dressed earlier, I'd noticed that Angela had helped herself to my tampons again and had left me with an empty packet. I wasn't exactly sure when I was due, should be next week, but I didn't want to risk not having any on hand.

"Well, give me your list and I'll get whatever you need on my way home from work."

I smirked. "No, no. That's okay." I flipped the pancakes, picturing him in front of a wall of tampons, trying to find the one's I used.

Hilarious.

"I've got to go into town myself..." he pressed.

I turned to look at him and shook my head, imploring him with my eyes to drop it. "Thanks, but I don't mind going myself. I'll get the things _you_ need if you want."

He frowned. "Do you doubt I can get everything you ask for?"

"It's not that." I loaded up a pink colored serving plate with the hot pancakes and walked over to the table. I placed them between him and Henry. I smiled as Henry speared one and dragged it onto his plate, his tongue trying to touch his nose.

"Bella. Just give me your list. I can easily –"

You've got to be kidding me!

"Please!" With his somewhat shocked eyes on my face, I bent down, putting one hand on the table and leaning so my face was inches from his ear. Wow! This close, he smelled sooo good! "I prefer to pick out my _own_ tampons, Mr. Cullen." His sharp intake of air told me he now understood, so I stood up and walked back to the stove, fighting the grin that was spreading over my cheeks.

He cleared his throat as I poured more batter into the pan. "You could have just said you wanted personal items."

"Yeah well, you weren't getting the hint so…"

"Well. Since you offered… you can pick something up for me."

"That's fine."

He placed a light blue receipt on top of the table. "There's my dry cleaning slip. Don't worry about the bill. Tell Mr. Shang I'll pay him later."

"Oh. Okay."

"It's right next to the store. You'd be blind to miss it." He didn't look up as he started eating, which was a good thing for him because I was staring at him, licking my lips. He looked so gorgeous with his eyelashes fanning against his cheeks and a little crease of concentration between his brows. I wanted to beg him to take me on the kitchen counter while I sucked maple syrup from his long fingers.

"Daddy, may I watch cartoons?" Henry asked, looking at his father with his big blue eyes.

No. Don't go, Henry!

I was already fighting my attraction to Mr. Cullen as it was. I didn't want to be left alone in his presence for fear I would do something stupid like… embarrass myself by flirting with him.

"Sure," Mr. Cullen consented.

Damnit!

Henry jumped down and ran towards the den while I sat down with the fresh pancakes, keeping my gaze fixed on the plate.

"My sister, Alice…" Edward said. "Will be here at ten o'clock with her boys." His sister?I dropped my fork onto the ceramic plate, as I flung my eyes to his. "They want to swim with Henry. Alice said she'd bring a cake and some fruit for a morning snack and that she'll stay and talk to you. I'm sure you can go to town after lunch."

I swallowed, a little apprehensive about meeting his sister. I'd heard enough from Rose to know she wasn't a nice person. "Okay."

Edward stood, leaving his plate at the table. "I'd better go," he said, getting his black leather coat off the stool. "I'll be home sometime this afternoon. Don't know when exactly."

I nodded without looking at him, my stomach churning with uneasiness for the day ahead.

"Oh, and Bella?" he called, his face now serious. "Do _not _forget your cell phone today. Okay?" He didn't wait for my response as he turned and left the room.

I closed my eyes, trying not to take offence at his condescending tone. I should have been thankful for the emergence of Mr. Cullen's abrupt manner. It should have made it easier for me to distance myself, but it was hard to focus on anything but the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy.

**-xxx-**

The doorbell rang a little before ten o'clock.

First impression: she was punctual, like her brother.

Walking out of the kitchen to the front door, I was beaten there by Henry who screamed with excitement. While he struggled to open the heavy stable-style door, I stood inside the dining room archway, waiting. I watched in amusement as two boys barrelled down on Henry and tackled him to the floor. They were only wearing board shorts, and the eldest looked no more than eight. The three boys all grunted and laughed as they rolled around on top of each other.

"Boys! Take it outside," said a stern yet sweet voice. Alice. "You know the rules about wrestling near valuables."

I smiled as Alice, petite and pretty, walked into view. She looked _nothing_ like I had imagined. She shook her head and chuckled, watching the boys ran upstairs to Henry's bedroom instead of going outside. She set two bags down then relocked the door. I couldn't speak or remove my gaze from her. She looked to be a little shorter than me – not like her brother's six foot plus frame – and I liked her short, jet black hair that was stylishly layered. She had a straight nose like his, though her lips were a little thinner, but she was very attractive. I loved her pale blue, baby doll dress, making out the black, halter-neck bikini she wore underneath. Her toe nails were painted dark red, and seeing them made me smile. I could have sworn Rose wore the same shade of nail polish on _her_ toes.

"Oh! Hi!" she said, spotting me off to the side. "You must be Bella. I'm Alice Whitlock." She put forward her small hand, which I shook, meeting her halfway. I felt somewhat embarrassed at being caught looking her over, but the gentleness in her voice and her kind eyes made me relax a bit.

"Hello, Mrs. Whitlock. I've heard a lot about you."

She laughed—threw her head back and cackled type of laugh. "Call me, _Alice._ Please."

I chuckled, hoping to conceal how nervous I felt. "Okay. Alice."

Once she let my hand go, I shifted my glasses further up my nose and ran my other hand over my hair. I noticed she had the same unique shaped eyes as her brother where their long, pointed tear ducts turned down more than usual, though her eyes were a striking deep blue instead of green.

"I'm sure you heard about me from Rose," she said. I nodded, sheepish. "Don't believe _half_ of what that woman says."

The dislike obviously went both ways.

She passed me a loaded plastic bag that she'd put on the floor. "Here. Could you carry this? And I'll get the other one." I nodded and took the bag from her hand. "It's got the food in it so let's go to the kitchen."

I strolled to the kitchen and once again amazed at how she seemed nicer than Rose had described, though she still had an air about her which demanded respect—just like her brother. I placed the bag on the counter and Alice moved towards me, her gaze on the bag I had carried in, so I stepped back to give her room.

"Thanks. I tell yah, those boys have been driving me crazy all morning." She sighed and started unloading the bag, placing the food on the counter. "They're all keyed up and dying to play. I swear boys don't ever stop."

I chuckled. "Yeah I know. Henry's been so excited. For the past hour, he's asked me what the time was every five minutes." I took a tentative step forward and motioned to the food she was unloading. "Can I help?"

"Nah, I'm all right." Alice turned to me and flashed me a smile, illuminating her perfect, straight teeth. "How 'bout a coffee though? I haven't had time for one this morning, and I'm in dire need of some caffeine."

"Sure. How do you take it?"

She looked at me and raised her arched eyebrow. "I take mine hard and fast."

I blinked. What…? Then realization dawned on what she was _really_ talking about.

Oh my…!

She started giggling, then outright laughing as she watched my eyes go wide. A smile spread across my face. I couldn't help but begin to laugh along with her, feeling myself relax in her presence.

"That's better!" She laughed with a soft smile. "You looked way too tense." I smirked at her attempt to make me feel at ease. Alice didn't seem as bad as Rose had suggested, and I began wondering if Alice's prior comment about only believing half of what Rose said had credibility to it.

Alice leaned against the countertop and crossed her arms over her chest. "So… are you swimming with us or are you going to go chop us some firewood, Miss Lumberjack?" She raised an eyebrow at my flannel and pursed her lips. I understood the amusement in her gaze.

I chuckled. I liked her straight-forward sense of humor.

"Oh, I'm gonna swim," I said, stirring our coffees.

She winked. "I was only joking. When I'd asked Edward about your dress sense, he said you were partial to jeans and shirts, which by the way, I think is great. I've got a lot more respect for you since you don't flash your tush or tits at my brother like the other hussies."

I swallowed, hard, and felt my cheeks warm.

After we placed a slice of cake on each plate, along with a scoop of fruit salad, I called the boys down. They thundered down the stairs, scooped up a plate each, and darted outside.

"Oh! Boys!" Alice sniggered and rolled her eyes. "Funny how I always wanted a girl, but ended up having two roaring boys who are so much like their father it isn't funny."

"Really?" I hadn't heard a lot about her husband, Jasper, other than that he worked as an architect in Seattle.

"He's a real man's man, if you know what I mean." She had a look of adoration on her face. "And my boys are typical boys. Always dirty, fighting, planning, building stuff, exploring… you name it, they do it."

I laughed. "How old are they?"

"Oh, Liam's seven, and Brody's five. Little heartthrobs if you ask me."

"They're very cute," I said. She smiled at my compliment, and I picked up the last plate and followed her outside to sit in the warm sunshine at the patio table. I started doing the math of their ages in my head. Alice didn't look much older than me to have a seven-year-old…

"So… How old are you?" I asked.

"I'm twenty-five," she stated simply, "I got pregnant with Liam right after I married at eighteen." She then turned and roused on Liam for trying to steal a forkful of his brother's cake before turning back to me with a heavy sigh. "Sometimes I feel like I'm forty but… What about you? How old are you?"

"Oh, um, I'm twenty-two."

"Pfft! You're still a baby."

"I don't know about that!" I laughed, pleased she wasn't shocked or making me feel old for being a nanny at twenty-two. "So how much older is Mr. Cullen than you? I know Rose is twenty-seven, but I don't know Mr. Cullen's age exactly." I assumed he was the same age as Rose.

"Edward's twenty-nine," Alice stated, cleaning up the last of her cake that she ate in record time. Thankfully she didn't see my eyes bulge and my jaw drop.

He's twenty-nine! That's… seven years between me and him! Holy cow, that was a lot! I'd thought five years difference was bad enough.

The boys finished eating and Alice convinced them to play outside where we could see them until "us adults" were ready to go swimming. I assured Henry that I _would_ be coming for a swim with him once I'd changed.

"So… about Rose…" Alice said. "Do you enjoy working for her?"

"Yeah. I do." I smiled. "We get along really well." I wanted to mention how good of a mother she was, but had a feeling Alice wouldn't agree with me. "And Henry's a fantastic kid," I said instead.

Alice gazed over to the boys who were squabbling over something before she turned to face me again. "I'm glad you like her. She's butted heads with a few of her previous nannies… perhaps her luck's changing as she gets older."

I chuckled and ate the fruit salad, moaning over the chocolate.

"Did you know…" Alice asked, her voice quiet and reminiscent, "that Rose and I used to be best friends?"

My eyes popped. "_No_. She never said…" Now I was curious! I'd always imagined them being enemies.

"We used to be close before she married Edward, but then…" Alice sighed and shook her head, closing her eyes as though remembering something painful. "I see her from time to time, usually when I'm shopping, but I… we haven't spoken in years. I don't think she'd want to talk to me anyway…"

I was dying to ask her what happened between Mr. Cullen and Rose, and _her_ and Rose, but I knew it wasn't my place. I tried to think of something to say to change the subject as I scrapped the frosting off my plate.

"So… what do you do? I mean, I've heard that you run an online business, but that's about it."

Alice's face lit up, and jumped into the description of her online business where she sold designer children's clothing wear from home. Alice explained that after having two boys, she saw a need for more variety in boys wear so she started her own online store. It hadn't taken long to merge to including girls wear too, and Alice hoped to add accessories and nursery equipment to her website as well. Apparently, their garage was full of boxes packed with designer clothes. Jasper has been encouraging her to open an actual store, but Alice said she wasn't sure about being able to hold down a store.

Just as I was about to ask why, Liam came sauntering up to her with Brody and Henry trailing behind.

"Are you finished now, Mom?" he asked, draping his arm around her shoulders before leaning on her. Alice looked to me, and I shrugged.

"Yeah okay," Alice sighed. Liam cheered and ran to the pool's gate, just as Henry started crying and pleading for them to wait for him.

Alice and I carried the dishes inside before I took Henry upstairs to change. After I slipped into my navy and white stripped bikini with its round, red buckles on each hip, I pulled two beach towels from the linen closet and jogged outside to find Alice already in the pool with the three boys.

She'd even put on Henry's floaties.

I dumped the towels on one of the three white pool chairs and decided to wear my glasses into the pool, careful not to get my head wet. I stepped into the pool, going down one large step at a time, and sighed in pleasure as the water cooled my heated skin. I breast stroked to the deep end of the pool where Alice was watching the boys go down the slide.

"Bella!" Henry said. "Watch me! Watch me!" My original concern that he was going down the slide by himself weakened as I knew Alice and I were at the bottom, and his cousins were fine, and they weren't that much older than him.

"So where are you from, Bella?" Alice asked.

"Originally, I'm from Phoenix."

"Bella!" Henry shouted. "Are you watching?"

"Yep! Go!" Henry sat down, a huge grin on his face. "Weeeeeee," I sang as he went down, laughing when he plonked into the water. Just to make sure he was okay, I helped him reach the surface and dragged him to the side.

"Did you see? Did you see? I went down by myself!"

I laughed. "I know! I saw. You're such a big boy." He grinned and ran to the top of the slide again.

"Do you have family here?" Alice asked.

I looked away and forced a smile. "My dad's in Port Angeles." Not wanting to go down that memory vortex, I changed the subject. "So Jasper's an architect like Mr. Cullen?"

Alice talked about Jasper while we moved around the pool, watching the boys play.

"He taught Edward to play the guitar, too," Alice said, listing Jasper's many talents. "While they were in college together."

My ears pricked. "Mr. Cullen can play the guitar?"

"Oh, yeah. Edward's pretty good, but not as good as Jasper. I'll get Jasper to bring his guitar when we come on Saturday so you can hear them play together."

I frowned, not having heard anything about this Saturday. "Saturday?"

"Oh." Alice tilted her head. "Will you be here on Saturday? I guess it's your time off… If you want to join in, you're more than welcome to. It's just a barbeque get together we do every month. Now that the boys have finished baseball, we can come earlier. It would be great to have another woman to talk to…"

I hesitated. "Oh. I don't know… I don't want to intrude on family time."

"Oh, _puleeze_!" She laughed. "Emmett will be coming and he's not –"

"You mean Uncle Emmie?"

"You've heard of him? Of course you have from Henry… Yeah, Emmett always comes for free food and a chance to beat Jasper and Edward at soccer." She rolled her eyes. "Men are such sore losers."

"Soccer?" I couldn't keep the excitement off my face.

"Yeah, the men usually play with the boys while I make lunch. Soccer is one of the few games the kids can play, too. Well, that and T-ball, but the kids get frustrated when the men hit the balls too far for them to catch. The guys take their sport so serious!" We both laughed. I suddenly had a memory flash of playing soccer with my dad in our back yard in Phoenix. He used to love playing sports before he lost his leg in the accident.

"I'll think about it," I said. I wanted to ask Angela if I could go to her place for the weekend first, but I couldn't deny that the opportunity to see Mr. Cullen play the guitar and watch him kick a soccer ball around, perhaps all hot and sweaty… maybe _shirtless_… was highly tempting.

"I love your bikinis, by the way," Alice said.

"Oh! Thanks. I bought them last year."

"Where?"

I bit my lip, guessing she wouldn't be impressed. "From a, um, a thrift shop."

"Really? I _love_ thrift stores!"

I thought it incredible for her to enjoy scrounging through second-hand warehouses, rather than just paying full price in a boutique store. But I really liked that about her. Rose was good at withholding her comments about my second-hand bargains, but I knew she thought it distasteful. I'd seen her raised eyebrows and pursed lips. Rose would never wear anything that had been worn by someone else, but she kept quiet because she knew I was saving to get laser eye surgery.

"And how do you like the house?" Alice asked.

"I love it. Especially the kitchen, but the whole house is gorgeous. Did Mr. Cullen design it?"

"No, Edward bought it about four years ago. Before… Rose and he divorced. Back then it was just a run down shell of a house with a great view. The original house was over a hundred years old and… well, everyone recommended he pull it down and start again, but he was determined to save as much of it as he could and just add extensions and stuff."

She shook her head as I hung on her every word. Images of him sweaty and shirtless in low slung jeans and wearing a tool belt around his hips flooded my horny mind. _Mm-mmm_.

"I bet Edward's enjoying your cooking," she stated, surprising me with the change in topic. "He's told me how Rosalie raves about your talent." She got this strange little smirk on her face and I smiled back, knowing that Rose usually treated herself to one large mouthful of my dinners before she made her vegetable juice. "What did you make last night? He usually comes to our place for dinner Monday nights."

"I uh… I made lasagne and a tossed garden salad."

"Oooh! Yum. He loves lasagne." I blushed as Alice turned her whole body to me, looking eager. "I shouldn't ask, but I've been dying to know… What's Royce King like?"

I chuckled. "He's pretty hot for a guy who's nudging forty." Alice laughed and leaned closer, like she was settling in for some great entertainment. "He loves buying Henry gifts, which Henry thinks is great. Rose calls him 'charming,' and thinks the world of him."

"But what do you think of him?"

I bit my lip, realizing I was gossiping about my boss and her boyfriend, to Rose's sworn enemy. "I'm sorry, but I… I've said too much already."

Alice shrugged a shoulder and moved back, unable to hide her disappointment. "I know. I know. But, I had to ask."

Despite how charming and attractive Royce was, my gut instinct told me to be careful around him. I'd witnessed his confident façade slip a few times, which exposed a controlling, dominant nature. He'd covered it up with laughter and jokes, but I knew only too well that appearances could be deceiving.

"Can I ask you something?" I said to Alice.

"Course you can. What is it?"

"I was just wondering… Do you know if Mr. Cullen wrote out rules for the previous nannies?"

"Yeah. He did."

"Okay." I felt relieved, but still mystified why he thought he had to give them to me anyway.

"Did Rose ever mention a girl called Senna?" I shook my head. She sighed but looked as if that was expected. "What about Carmen?"

I shook my head again. "Uh-uh. Only that the previous girl was caught drinking on the job with a heap of liquor bottles under her bed."

"Yeah, that was Lauren. She was with Henry for four months before they discovered that she was a closet drunk." Alice shook her head in disbelief, making sure to keep her voice low.

The boys chose that moment to escalate their whining to fighting, so Alice and I halted our conversation and climbed out of the pool. We dried ourselves off and then the boys. I wrapped the towel around my waist before we let the boys loose again to wrestle and run around on the warm grass. Alice and I went inside and she chose to have coffee while I had some tea. I waited for her to restart the cautious topic of previous nannies, taking a seat in the kitchen nook so we could see the boys playing outside.

"You have to understand, Bella," Alice pleaded. "You wouldn't believe the shit Henry's gone through with some of his nannies. Let's just say, I'm rather good at getting a feel for people, and… well, I can tell that you're a good cookie." She gave my leg a pat, and I smiled in return. Her approval meant a lot.

She sighed before she continued. "But I had a bad feeling about that Lauren chick from the very start, and I told Edward, but _oh no_, Rose wouldn't listen until _after_ Lauren abandoned Henry in the bathroom. Rose came home a while later and found him locked in the bathroom, crying and covered in poo. He'd been calling out for his mommy and Lauren for ages but Lauren had passed out on her bed. He'd accidently locked the door, and didn't know how to open it."

My heart ached as understanding dawned.

"Oh my God. Is that why Henry has to have the bathroom door open all the time?" I recalled his screaming fit when I had gone to close the bathroom door on my first day. I'd thought it strange to begin with, but he was fine if it was open, so I hadn't given it much thought since then.

"Yes." Alice nodded, and my throat tightened. My poor Henry. I never would have imagined _that_ was the reason. "He tried stay on the toilet because he'd done a poo, but… eventually he had to move because the seat was digging into his legs." Oh! Poor Henry_._ "_Senna _though, shewas young and had practically no childcare experience but Rose liked the idea of having a European nanny so she took her on anyway. Edward and Rose put up with a lot from Senna, but when Senna took Henry swimming in the pool at Rose's, she didn't think to put floaties on him and just jumped in with him… into the _deep_ end and took Henry to the bottom with her. She struggled to keep herself _and_ him afloat once she'd kicked herself to the surface…" I gasped, the puzzle pieces clicking together – that explained Mr. Cullen's floaties rule.

I'd been so indignant about that yesterday, so hurt that he'd thought so little of my intellect. I guess now it made sense, and instead of feeling angry towards him, I felt sorry for what he and Rose had gone through.

"Thankfully, though," Alice continued. "A man saw Senna struggling to swim and managed to get them both to the edge where another resident helped pull Henry from the water. Henry wasn't breathing. Senna was exhausted but fine, whereas Henry needed mouth-to-mouth. Thank God his heart was still beating and that one of the men who helped pull them out knew what to do. After that though, Edward _insisted_ that the next nannies knew how to swim and how to do resuscitation."

I felt the blood drain from my face. "She didn't know how to swim?" What the hell was she doing taking him swimming then?

"Oh, she did… kind of." Alice snorted. "But she was so overconfident with everything and… _everyone_. You should have seen her around Edward." Alice raised her eyebrows and shook her head. She placed her warm hand on top of mine. "Can you see how after going through that… _and more,_ Edward can be a bit… _specific_ in regards to Henry's safety?"

"Surely not all of the nannies were bad, though." I had never been as irresponsible as those two nannies, but I _was_ only human. I'd made mistakes in the past, and I was sure to make more.

"Of _course_ they've had some great nannies. You included." Alice reassured me with an encouraging smile, but I couldn't be relieved. I'd _already _messed up by lying to Edward and telling him my name was Marie.

"Thanks for telling me, Alice. It explains _so_ much."

**-xxx-**

"Stay here, Henry," I said, placing the grocery bag on the back seat of the car.

"Ughhhh, Bella!" he whined, tired and bored. "I wanna go home."

"I know, honey. We've just got to duck in and get your dad's clothes from the dry cleaners, and then we can go home, Okay?"

"Ughhh."

I re-locked the car and took hold of his hand. He started whining more and dragging his feet.

"Come on, sweetie. It should only take a second."

After Alice and the boys had left, Henry and I had eaten lunch, and I'd carried him up the stairs to his bedroom where he had a huge afternoon nap while I made a chocolate cake like Alice's. At four o'clock we drove into the nearby little town to get the few necessary items I needed from the small corner store. I couldn't help but smile at the cute village atmosphere of the Island town.

The dry cleaner's was right next door to the store, just like Mr. Cullen had said. I was greeted by a smiling Asian man. After giving him Mr. Cullen's ticket, he went out back and returned, carrying a zipped garment bag over two hangers and laid the items on the countertop.

"Mr. Cullen good?" he asked.

"Yes. He's good."

"Very good. This in pocket," he said, placing a little plastic Zip-lock bag onto the counter. I gasped, seeing my folded seashell-patterned note, I'd left in Edward's jacket pocket, within the bag.

He hadn't found it? Or maybe he had and he just didn't care?

I resigned myself to not think about that now, so I forced a smile to the man. "Thank you. Mr. Cullen said he would pay you later. Is that all right?" He nodded, so I picked up the Zip-lock bag. My gaze flickered down, and I noticed the bag also contained a _lot_ of change, mostly big bills. I frowned at what looked like a torn paper napkin with a phone number scribbled on it. It certainly wasn't _my _number. I guessed he had someone else chasing him that night, too.

I had an undeniable and irrational urge to take out the phone number and rip it up into tiny pieces.

"Yes, yes. Later," the man said, nodding his balding head.

"Oh. Great. Thanks again."

As I buckled Henry into his car seat, my stomach clenched at the though of handing Mr. Cullen the note. I smirked. Oh! I could stand right in front of him and scrutinize his reaction.

I couldn't wait.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Well done to those of you who remembered that Henry was Vera's little dark & curly haired boy with dimples (just like adorable Emmett). For those who have forgotten… in _Eclipse,_ Rosalie tells Bella the story of her friendship with Vera and how she adored little Henry.

I'm absolutely blown away by the response from last chapter! Thank you to all who review! You're awesome and such a great guide to let me know I'm doing things right!


	6. Pits & Plans

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

As always, a huge hug and kiss to **Belindella **for being my pre-reader!

A massive thank you to my beta's **yellowjello113 **&** Lezlee, **for editing this chapter twice and for honestly telling me when I needed to change things! I hate that first draft now! *sighs and shakes head* Thanks for being truthful girls!

Thanks also to my Twilighted validation beta, **devilsgenie**!

I've been blown away with the response to this story! It's been amazing. Thank you all so much.

* * *

**Chapter Six: Pits & Plans**

**Week One, Tuesday:**

**Edward:**

A quick, successive rap of knuckles on my office door made me jump in my chair. I'd asked Jessica to hold my calls for the afternoon and not to disturb me unless it was important. I needed to concentrate in order to finish my monthly advice column for _Old Homes_ magazine which was due by midday tomorrow. Sighing, I looked towards the wooden door.

"Yes?" I called.

The door opened.

_Heidi?_

Heidi was the beautiful blonde bombshell who had started working for the TV show as an office girl about a month ago. Her love of mini skirts, spiked heels and sultry make-up had many of the men drooling. She was sexy, I'd admit it, especially when she sucked on the end of her pen, so it went without saying that I tried _not_ to look at her at all. It was so much easier to remain in control that way.

She rushed into my office and closed the door behind her. When she leaned her back against the door, her burning gaze sent shivers down my spine. I heard the click of the lock, and my blood chilled. I'd threatened to fire her last week when she'd taken her incessant flirting to a higher level after "accidentally" grazing her fingers against my crotch while making coffee next to me in the workers lounge. I'd also warned her to leave me alone at the nightclub only last Friday and yet here she was, locking herself in my office.

Alone.

I had to be careful about this but at the same time, I was pleased she'd crossed the line. Her behavior gave me sufficient reason to fire her determined ass. I hadn't been the one to hire her, but I pulled enough weight around here to fire her.

"Where's Jessica?" I asked, pissed that she would let Heidi in. She stalked towards me like a cat about to pounce on its prey. Her eyes were fixed on mine.

"She went to get some copying done. I told her I'd look after… _everything_."

I didn't miss the way her lips curled at her insinuation.

I gritted my teeth and turned back to the paperwork in front of me, grateful for the hidden cameras in my office_. _"Heidi. Get out. I'm busy." If she left now without incident, I'd include a bonus in her last pay check.

"Oh, come on, _Edward_," she cooed, using my first name even though I had previously asked her not to. "It's just us in here. You don't have to deny yourself anymore. I've seen the way you look at me." She giggled a little and sat her ass on my desk, just off to the side. "It's okay. I can be quiet." I held stock still as she reached over and ran a hand through my hair. "Or I can be as loud as you want." She leaned forward until her mouth was next to my ear. I knew I should have stood up or knocked her hand away, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in shock and… anticipation. Some deep part of me wanted to see how far she'd go. "Either way… I'm yours." She blew warm air into my ear before she flicked out her tongue and took my earlobe between her lips.

Damn. My breath hitched. If I didn't know her, I'd have taken her up on her offer real fast. But this was my workplace, and I'd been dragged through that lawsuit minefield before.

Never again.

The memory of that stressful time of my life brought me back to my original resolution.

"You're fired Heidi," I said, my tone firm. "Get off my desk and go clear out yours."

"What?" She pulled her hand back and stood up. "You – you can't!"

"I can, and I just did." I didn't look at her but kept scribbling nonsense on the page in front of me. "You're a good worker, but you have no regard for the sexual harassment rules of this office. You have defied the direct requests to improve your wardrobe to more appropriate office wear and you have completely disregarded my earlier statement that I do _not_ have _any_ relations with colleagues." I calmed myself down and shuffled some papers around. "Now go. I have work to do. Close the door behind you."

She didn't move from her spot beside me.

I counted to ten before I looked up at her. She was standing there, studying me, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"But… But I thought you wanted–"

"No."

"But we–"

"No."

"So you never –?"

"No."

"Oh." She took a deep breath and nodded once. Turning, she shuffled towards the door.

"Oh and Heidi?" I set down my pen. She stopped and looked over her shoulder, her sad eyes meeting my stern gaze. "There are cameras in this room as well as throughout the office. If you want to claim wrongful termination, I will gladly provide the footage as evidence against you." Her mouth dropped open a little but my mask of indifference didn't waver. "Goodbye."

Her eyes filled with water, making her look contrite. "Goodbye, Mr. Cullen. For what it's worth, I didn't mean…"

I raised my eyebrows at her and she trailed off. We both knew she had meant it. _All _of it.

The door closed, and I let out a huge breath before resting my face in my hands. What a load of shit. I knew she'd wanted me, but damnit! Heidi was the fourth woman I'd had to fire in the last two and a half years due to sexual advances.

As much as I would have enjoyed taking her up on her offer, the cameras in my office would have only shown one thing – a boss screwing an employee and everything we said on the tape could have been twisted and construed as some kinky fantasy foreplay acting.

I knew all too well that sleeping with employees, past or present, just wasn't worth the risk.

**-xxx-**

I drove my shiny blue Ford truck into my garage and slumped against the seat. I was exhausted. It had been such a long day, and I knew it wasn't over yet. After Heidi had left, I'd grabbed my briefcase and headed for home an hour early. My concentration was shot, and I desperately wanted to see my son.

Dumping my stuff on the kitchen counter, I called out to Henry but received no answer. I kept walking through the silent house, checking room after room. As I searched for him, I massaged my right shoulder which had been aching after the brutal workout I'd given it last night when I'd taken my frustrations out on the punching bag. I knew there was no way I'd last till next Wednesday when I was scheduled to see Emmett for a massage. I'd have to make an appointment for tomorrow_._

I had met Emmett after tearing my right shoulder muscle two years ago. He became my guru, physiotherapist and friend, and after two years, I now thought of him as the brother I never had. Despite his ominous and intimidating size, he was such a softy and hated seeing people upset or in pain. As a severe injury physiotherapist, he dealt with people in agony daily, but he said he just loved to make them smile, even if it was only for a moment. I admired his generosity.

As I neared the den, I heard Henry's laughter coming from outside. Bella's laugh met my ears then too, and my smile got a little bigger. I had to admit she had a nice chuckle. It was hearty and warm. I followed the sound of their happy giggling and peered through the glass window, blinking in surprise.

They were both sitting in the large square sand pit I'd made for Henry. It was situated at the base of the old maple tree about fifteen yards from the house and rarely got used anymore. Even from where I stood I could see that they'd made an intricate map of roads in the sand. Well formed bridges and tunnels also formed the 'town' with leaves, pebbles and little twigs acting as landmarks. They had an assortment of trucks and cars that they were both maneuvering around one at a time.

Henry was sitting in the middle, his body spinning on the spot as he moved his vehicles to where he wanted them. He was using sound effects for changing gears and ordered Bella to follow him with her truck. She obliged, using her own special effects of squealing breaks and "vroom, vroom's".

It was quite cute.

I don't know how long I stood there, but I was fascinated as I watched them play together. Never in a million years would Rose, his own mother, sit in a sand pit and play trucks with him so enthusiastically. I'd never seen Bella that energetic… or happy. She wasn't as reserved as I'd thought she was. It wasn't often I got the chance to see Henry play with his nannies, so it was great to see him having such good fun. No wonder he talked about Bella so much.

Bella adjusted her glasses and glanced at her watch before she gave Henry a two minute warning, telling him that she had to start on dinner. He whined and tried to negotiate five more minutes, but she told him that he could keep playing while she packed up the other toys. I continued spying, enjoying the rare opportunity of watching them too much to think about intervening just yet.

Bella stood and brushed the sand off her jeans. Her open, black and red flannel shirt was rolled up just past her elbows, and I sniggered at the difference between the way she dressed and the way Heidi had. Bella looked like a mountain woman. Though I didn't particularly like the way Bella tended to dress like a guy, it was a relief to come home and not have to deal with someone who wanted to get my attention by showing loads of skin. The last nanny to stay here, Lauren, had worn nothing but skimpy shorts and tube tops while flitting around my house and interrupting me with stupid questions.

Deciding to make an appearance, I opened the door and walked onto the grass heading towards them. Bella's back was to me and Henry was still focused on his truck, making it do huge jumps before crashing back to the sandy road with horrific exploding sound effects coming from his mouth. Bella collected all the cars and other toys, oblivious to my impending arrival. She stretched a leg over to the other side of an impressive sand bridge before she bent at the waist to reach for the cars that had been out of her reach.

"Hey, you two," I called, smiling at Henry as I strolled closer.

"Daddy!" His eyes lit up when he saw me, and I beamed at his eagerness. He stumbled his way out of the sandpit, bumping Bella's outstretched leg.

"Whoa!" Bella lost her balance and wobbled. She tried to regain her footing but the lumpy sand made her attempts futile. In a matter of seconds, she fell into the corner of the box, her butt hitting the sand hard. I grimaced as her back hit the edge of the timber, her hands unable to break her fall.

I rushed towards her. "Bella! Are you okay?" I raked my eyes over her to see if anything was broken. She wasn't screaming so that was a good sign. With her upper back hanging over the edge of the timber, she rolled to her side until she was on her hands and knees and tried to push up off the grass.

She flinched.

"Take it easy." I grabbed her upper arm with one hand and placed my other hand on her outer hip and helped her to stand. Once she was on her feet in front of me, she adjusted her glasses and mumbled "Thanks." That's when I noticed her right arm.

"That doesn't look good," I said, seeing the long, bloody scratches on her forearm. She flung her eyes to mine, confused. I reached for her wrist and raised it in explanation so she and I could see her injury better. No need for stitches, thank God.

I let go of her arm to let her inspect it. I was amazed she wasn't in tears.

The timber frame responsible for inflicting her injury had become rough and brittle after being exposed to months of bad weather. I'd have to do something about that later…

"Do you think you can walk?" I asked, not knowing if she was hurt anywhere else. "I could carry you…" I guessed she weighed hardly anything. I needed to clean her up and the kitchen would be a better place to do it than outside.

She raised her eyes, pulling back in confusion when I offered to carry her. "I'm fine. It's just a graze."

I raised my eyebrow in doubt. "But…"

"This?" she said, pointing to her arm. "This is nothing." She shrugged. "I've had much worse."

I smirked, remembering how she'd tripped over her own foot yesterday. I saw Henry watching us off to the side, his eyes fixed on Bella's bloody arm. "Well, let's get you inside and cleaned up." I motioned towards the house, and she started walking. I kept my hand a few inches from her back just in case she tripped or fell.

"Henry?" I called, looking behind me to see him following.

"Yes, Daddy?"

"You remember where the first aid kit is in the kitchen?"

"Yes."

"Good. Run ahead and get it out for me. We'll meet you there shortly."

"Okay!" He sprinted off; excited to have a job to do, while Bella and I followed him into the house.

"How's your back?" I asked, carefully placing my hand on her lower back, remembering how she'd fallen across the wooden plank. She gasped. "Sorry."

She cleared her throat, her face flushed pink. "It's just… tender."

Her flinch had let me know that she was more than tender, but I let it go. For now.

"Good job, Henry," I said, smiling at him when I saw he was waiting for us by the kitchen's island counter with the medical kit ready for me.

"He's such a good helper, isn't he?" Bella said, grinning at my son. He beamed at her, and I couldn't help thinking how sweet it was of her to be commending him while she was the one who needed comforting.

"He sure is. Now…" I motioned for Bella to sit on the stool. "Let's get you cleaned up."

She sat on the end stool and Henry climbed onto the one next to her, leaning across the counter so he could see better. She folded her sleeve up her slender arm, and my eyes lingered on her exposed creamy skin. I couldn't help wondering if it was as smooth as it appeared to be. Blinking in an effort to focus, I filled a bowl with warm tap water and added some table salt. I placed the bowl near her bent arm and began selecting what I thought I'd need from the kit. I'd transformed a tackle box into a sturdy, organized medical kit stocked with everything I could ever need thanks to Doctor Dad and the supply room at Seattle Hospital.

I could feel her eyes on me. When I caught her gaze, she instantly looked down, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth. She adjusted her glasses and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, making her look so fragile and vulnerable.

Was it wrong that in that moment I wanted to hold her, comfort her?

"My father's a doctor," I said. "And he's taught me a few things. I've also had plenty of experience cleaning up Henry's wounds. Isn't that right, buddy?"

I smiled at him but he was too fascinated with the presence of blood to form a response. His eyes never wavered an inch from Bella's wound.

Needing a stool, I grabbed the one next to Henry's and carried it back to Bella. I sat down facing her. She watched my hand slide along the counter towards her bent elbow, and I noticed her lips part as she took in a deep breath. She bit down hard on her lip when my fingers wrapped around her forearm. I needed to hold her steady while I washed it, but couldn't help softly rubbing my thumb across some of her uninjured skin. It was just as smooth as I thought it would be. I hoped she'd think it was just me trying to comfort her. After all, she _was _hurt.

"I'll try to make it as quick and painless as possible." I gave her an encouraging smile, hoping she'd return it, but she just nodded, taking another deep breath, her eyes fixed on mine.

Determined to be as gentle as I could, I began cleaning the wounded area. Wiping away the drying blood with the warm salty water and a cotton pad, I tried not to press too hard or linger on one spot for too long. The scratches weren't as deep as I'd first feared, but the timber had still made her forearm look like she'd had a run in with a cheese grater.

Her breathing had become deeper, her eyes fixed on my fingers. "Is it stinging?" I asked.

She looked from my hands to my eyes and shook her head. "It's um, actually soothing." Her admission surprised but pleased me. "Your dad's taught you well."

"Well, it's more experience than anything." I resumed my ministrations. When her skin was clean of blood, I noticed four splinters, ranging in size and depth, embedded in her skin.

I planned to smooth the timber framing of the sand box before next weekend. There was no way I could risk someone else getting hurt.

"So…?" I started, "Did you and Henry have fun today?" I wanted to keep her thoughts occupied while I tried to get the splinters out, but with her watching my every move, I knew it was a half wasted effort.

"Uh huh," they both said in unison. Henry found his voice – probably due to the fact the bleeding had stopped.

"That's good." She winced as I plucked out the first splinter. With three to go, I had to side track her again. "And um, how was your morning with my sister? She treat you okay?"

Bella nodded, watching my fingers while I searched her skin with the tweezers. She kept flinching in anticipation.

I blinked, getting a whiff of her shampoo.

It reminded me of Marie. Coconuts and citrus. Though Marie's aroma also contained the smell of cocktails and cigarette smoke from the club, I'd definitely smelled coconuts in her hair. I guessed it was possible for hundreds… thousands of girls even, to use coconut shampoo.

I couldn't help breathing her scent in deeply, the smell was divine, and consequently… arousing.

"Yeah, um, Alice was – ouch!"

"Sorry."

"S'kay. Alice was really nice and it was um, you know… good. The boys had fun." She looked over to Henry and he smiled back at her.

Alice had called me after lunch today to tell me about her visit with Bella, in detail, and she couldn't praise her enough.

"Yeah, they're good boys," I said. "Alice said she told you about this Saturday?" Bella locked her gaze onto mine and nodded. "I was going to tell you, but it just slipped my mind. Do you think you'll stay? Rose said you usually go over to your friend's for the weekend, but you can stay here if you like." She blinked a few times, a slight frown creasing her brow, and I wondered if she was shocked or confused. "I'm not ordering you to leave if that's what you're worried about." I could see the apprehension leave her face, and I felt frustrated that she'd think I'd kick her out for the weekend like Rose did.

"Um, I have to ask my friend, but thanks for letting me know I can stay. And that I'm invited to join in. That's, um… ow!"

"Sorry."

With two splinters still to remove, she was doing fantastic_._ "Do you have family in Seattle?"

"Oh, um, not really."

"Not really… as in…?"

"As in, my dad lives in Port Angeles, and my mom…" she trailed off with a quick, anxious glance at Henry that I didn't miss. "Rose called today," she stated, changing the subject with a forced smile.

"She did?" I asked, flicking my gaze between her and Henry.

"Yeah." Bella nodded. "She called me while we were at the store, so Henry talked to her while I drove home."

"And…?"

"_And,_ she said she wished she'd been able to call earlier, but… time differences made it difficult."

"Right."

She hissed as I plucked out the longest splinter, trying to get her when she was distracted. I dropped it onto the used and bloodied cotton balls next to the other ones_. _Henry started poking them with a cotton Q-tip, a soft "wow" coming from his lips.

With the last splinter out, I spread some antiseptic cream over the area of broken skin. It looked like a dark bruise was forming underneath as well. Recalling how she'd winced when I'd touched her back earlier, I knew I'd need to make sure it was okay, too.

"Well, your arm's done," I said.

"Thank you."

Bella was about to hop off her stool, but I stopped her by placing my hand flat on the counter in front of her. She halted and looked at my hand before raising her questioning eyes to mine.

I held up a finger, asking her to wait. "Henry," I said, getting his attention. "How 'bout you go watch some TV while Bella and I get dinner ready?"

Bella's eyebrows shot up onto her forehead. She watched Henry run out of the room and then turned back to face me. Her expression was a mixture of bewilderment and apprehension.

"I want to see your back," I said, standing up and carrying the stool back to its proper place.

"My b-back?" Her cautious expression and wide eyes followed my every movement.

I chuckled, trying to make light of it. "Yes." I walked back to her and waited. She didn't move. She just stared at me, her eyes pleading with me not to ask this of her. I sighed. "Look, I'm worried about how badly bruised your back is. You may have splinters in there, too. Or you might have grazes that need antiseptic on them. Either way…"

"My back is fine. I can tell. Yes, it's bruised a bit, but I'd know if it was scratched up. Besides, I had clothing to protect me there so—"

"Bella. I saw you fall. If your arm suffered, I'm sure your back suffered as well." I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, and it was clear she was. "Okay… If you don't want me to see the back of your bra, would you consider changing into… I don't know, maybe a bikini or a towel?" I couldn't help being a little acerbic. I mean, it was just a couple of bra clasps. Surely she would realize she'd have more coverage in it than a bikini.

Her cheeks turned a bright, burning red. Like dark tomato red. I felt horrible.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I just…"

"Fine," she said, stepping down from the stool. "How…? I mean…" She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Do you want me to like… take my shirt off? Completely?"

Oh God!

"No! No, I just, um…" Shit! How was this going to work_?_ "How 'bout I lift your shirt up at the back so you stay covered in front?" It was a lot more awkward than I first thought it would be.

"Fine." She turned and gripped the front hem of her shirt with her good hand.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward, the backs of my fingers grazing her petal soft skin at her waist as I gathered her shirts into my hands. I heard her sharp intake of air, so I proceeded carefully, not knowing the extent of her back injuries. I raised her shirt, inch by inch, while she lifted the front to stay just under her breasts.

I'd never seen Bella in anything other than jeans, usually with a tank top or a T-shirt accompanied by a hoodie or a flannel. Seeing the creaminess of her naked skin for the first time had me stirring south of my belt. Her skin was flawless, perfect. My eyes roamed across her ivory white skin. I was surprised she didn't have a bruise on her lower back where I'd touched her before. So why had she flinched?

I needed to focus on why I was doing this, but it was difficult not to admire the firm, but gentle curve of her waist. Noticing the way her breathing had turned shallow, I had a feeling that it wasn't from pain, but due to her nervousness. What the hell was I doing? I'd practically demanded she expose herself, against her will, and now I was checking her out?

My eyes bulged as I took in the motley red and darkening purple line that ran side to side across her back, right were her beige bra strap laid. "Oh!" The ugly ass bruise was as wide as my palm and stood out in stark contrast on her pale skin.

She didn't say anything but took a huge step away from me, lowering her shirts and wrapping her flannel around herself, her back still to me. I let her cover herself again, but I was confused. How could she not be in pain?

"You've got one hell of a bruise," I said, staring at the back of her head.

She shrugged, turning to face me again but not meeting my eyes. "It's only a bruise." She sniffed and looked away. "I just need a cold pack."

How could she be so blasé?

As much as I didn't want to admit it, she was right. I couldn't do anything for her bruise except get her an ice pack and hope it would lessen the severity of it. She'd also been correct in assuming that her clothing had protected her back and I didn't see any splinters or broken skin, just that dark bruising.

I walked towards the freezer. "You okay with frozen pizza for dinner?" There was no way I'd let her to cook while she sported injuries.

Her lips lifted into a smile and she nodded, her eyes twinkling. "Sounds great. Thanks."

"No worries." I winked, making her cheeks turn that pretty pink again. I pulled out the three ice packs I had and three large pizzas. "Do you want some pain killers, too?"

"Um, yeah. Thanks. Tylenol will be fine."

"Okay…" I shook out two Tylenol's then placed the bottle back in the kit. I wrapped the ice packs in dish towels and handed them to her. "Now go relax with Henry in the den and put those on your back and arm." Her eyes softened and her plump lips curved into a smile.

I blinked twice.

She really did have quite a… _beautiful _smile.

**-xxx-**

After having a slice of Bella's delicious homemade chocolate cake for desert, I bathed and dressed Henry, read him his three chosen books for the night and tucked him into his bed with a kiss to his forehead. When I came back downstairs I felt like I was asleep on my feet, so I headed to the kitchen to make myself a strong mug of coffee. I needed to wake myself up a bit to focus on finishing the magazine article.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw Bella's hunched back as she looked into an overhead cabinet. She closed it and opened the next one, peering into it and shuffling things around. She was looking for something.

"What are you–?"

"_Aaargh!_" Her short, bloodcurdling screech chilled me to the bone. She spun to look at me, her eyes wide and panicked with both her hands grasping her shirt over her heart.

_Whoops!_ I smiled and held my hands up, palms facing her, trying to reassure her without words that I wasn't a murderer intent on torturing her like she thought.

"What's with you and sneaking up on me?" she said, slumping onto an elbow against the counter. She was trying to steady her breathing, and I was amazed at how comfortable she was talking to me now. Before she'd moved in, she'd been so timid, only speaking when I asked her questions and preferring to remain unnoticed in the background. I supposed she just needed a little time and perhaps a couple of major frights to rattle her out of her quiet cage.

She smoothed a hand over her hair and adjusted her glasses. "God! You scared the crap out of me! Again!"

I snickered and walked over to the island counter, leaning my hip against it. Smirking, I watched the blush creep up her neck as I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I'd grown to appreciate her blush, liking how it showed me what she was feeling without words.

"Which time are you apologizing for?" she asked. "Now or this afternoon?"

_Touché. _

"Both." I chuckled, pleased that she was talking to me so frankly. "What are you after anyhow?"

"Tylenol. I couldn't find the first-aid kit but thought you may have had them in a cabinet somewhere."

I frowned, her words registering with me. "I explained where the first-aid kits were in the information I gave you."

"Oh." She looked over to the stove. "I ah… I must have missed it." She started fiddling with the hem of her flannel shirt.

Sighing, I told her there was one in the kitchen and where the other two kits were located at different spots in the house and she nodded her head in acknowledgement. After a moment, she looked at me expectantly and raised an eyebrow. It took me a while to realize that I hadn't yet shown her where the one in the kitchen was.

"Oh! Right! It's here…" I opened the first cabinet below the counter in the Butlers pantry.

I placed the kit on the counter and pulled out the bottle of Tylenol, handing it to her. "Here you go."

"Er, thanks." She stood by and watched me put the kit back into the cabinet. "I meant to give this to you earlier," she said, gaining my attention. She held out a small Zip-lock bag. "The man at the dry cleaners told me it's everything from the pockets of your suit. He said it was fine to pay him later, and I've hung your clothes in the downstairs closet, as I know you don't want me to go into your room, so…"

"Thanks." I smiled at her rambling and took the bag from her. She started walking away, leaving me alone, so I turned and placed the bag on the counter. I was pleased that from the looks of it, Bella hadn't stolen any of my money even though she'd had the chance to. Pulling out a folded piece of expensive looking writing paper, I opened it up and nearly dropped it as I realized who it was from.

**Dear Edward,**

**I'll never forget.**

**X**

_Marie!_

She'd left me a goodbye note.

"_I'll never forget." _

I couldn't help staring at the words on the seashell notepaper, reading them again and again with what was sure to be the biggest, goofiest grin on my face.

She must have left it in one of my pockets. I remembered throwing my dirty clothes into a garbage bag and dumping them off at the dry-cleaners the next morning. I couldn't believe I'd missed it.

The few simple words she'd chosen to write set my heart racing and my hopes soaring. If she'd enjoyed our time together as much as _I _had, would she want to meet again for a second rendezvous? I was almost giddy with the possibility.

But how could I get in touch with her? My eyes scanned the paper again, flipping it over and over, searching the front and back.

But she hadn't left her number.

Damnit!

She'd been adamant that it could only be a one-time thing, denying she was married or with someone, only saying it would be better if we never saw each other again. It had only made me desire her more. She'd told me she was there for a weekend convention and had to go back to New York the next day and that she was unlikely to come back for a while.

But she had friends here.

Then it hit me. _Ben!_ I could ask Ben! He'd been boasting about his new girlfriend, Angela, who was friends with Marie. I could ask him to ask his girlfriend for Marie's number. Would Marie mind that I'd tracked her down?

I considered flying out to New York to see her. I knew I'd have to wait until Rose got back, but I…

My eyes dipped back to the bag. A torn piece of napkin was in the bag with a scribbled phone number on it. My immediate hopes were that it was Marie's, so I pulled it out, but when I turned it over, the name _Tia_ was on the back. I don't even remember anyone giving it to me. I slipped Marie's note into my pants pocket and turned to put the torn napkin in the trash around the corner.

That's when I noticed Bella out of the corner of my eye.

She was standing at the island counter, watching me. What was she doing?

I could see she was fighting to conceal a smile by pinning her bottom lip with her teeth. As soon as my eyes met hers, she turned ten shades of crimson.

"Is there something else you need, Bella?" I asked, wondering how long she'd been waiting for me to notice her and a little irked she hadn't spoken up sooner.

"Yeah…the, um … Eggs!" she said, taking a step closer.

I blinked, and cocked my head to the side. "Eggs?"

"Yeah, umm…"

I turned my body to face her, crossing my arms over my chest, noticing how fidgety she became having my undivided attention.

She fiddled with her glasses and with her other hand, began twisted the hem of her shirt with her fingers. "I, um, was planning to… you know, make eggs… for breakfast tomorrow, so I thought it would be a good idea to ask you how you liked them…" Her eyes were roaming all over the place and she kept touching the sides of her glasses. I was beginning to think it was a nervous habit of hers. "So I didn't want to, you know, make a heap of scrambled eggs if you don't like them. But I _could_ make some…" She petered off when she saw my amused smirk.

"Scrambled is fine. Though since you asked, my favourite is a runny poached egg on buttered toast. But make whatever you feel comfortable with."

The girl was a bundle of jumpy excitement. She looked hyped up, her fingers tapping against her jean clad thighs while her brown eyes shone with happiness. I never would have thought she'd get so excited about cooking up some eggs.

"Okay, great!" She motioned her head towards the door and hooked her thumbs in the same direction. "So I'll ah, leave you to it…." she muttered, before practically striding from the kitchen.

Still bemused from Bella's strange departure, I threw the mystery woman's phone number in the garbage then made myself a steaming mug of black coffee. I flicked off all the lights while shuffling my way through the house to my office, opposite the den. With every step I made, I could feel Marie's note in my pocket against my thigh, reminding me of the possibility that I could find her.

Just the thought of her began to arouse me.

Every few months or so, I'd go out with a few buddies with the intention to hook up. It would get to the point where I needed to let loose, to indulge and find a release while deluding myself that the woman I was with felt something like affection for me, just for a night.

After my divorce, when I'd finally admitted to myself that I'd failed as a husband, I'd begun having one-night-stands with sexy women I picked up in ritzy, well-to-do clubs. I'd learned quickly not to call them again to arrange another "meeting," as it only increased their hopes for a relationship. And though the sex usually ranged from mediocre to good, Marie was different. Sex with Marie had been amazing.

She hadn't been looking for a relationship either, which had been a huge relief. But she was perfect—sexy, smart, _so _damn good in bed—and like-minded to boot. How had I gotten so lucky?

Marie understood my need for a night of raw, intense sex, because she'd wanted the same thing. She'd begged for me to consume her, pleading with me to take her. She couldn't get enough. That's probably why she stood out from the others. She had wanted me, utterly, but knew it for what it was.

If I could just speak to her, and explain that since I wasn't looking for a relationship either, perhaps we could be fuck buddies. We could meet every few months, or less, if she wanted.

_Damn_. Thoughts of being with her again—and _again_—made my jeans get tighter.

I adjusted myself before I sat down at my desk. Putting my head in my hands, I closed my lids and remembered Marie's gorgeous blue eyes. Eyes that had been haunting my dreams since that night. I'd been so attracted to her that night, but I wished I could remember the finer details of her heart-shaped face. Her eyes stood out in my memory, the rest of her… was kind of hazy, like looking through distorted glass. I wish I hadn't had as much to drink as the only other things I could really remember was straight, long dark hair, small warm hands, simple and unassuming underwear, and small pearl earrings. It's strange how I remembered the little things. I recalled the way her glistening eyes looked at me with such intensity at times; it was like she had tears in her eyes. It had made their blue color more brilliant, almost matching the electric blue color of my truck.

Not being able to wait until tomorrow, I pulled my cell from my back pocket and searched my contacts list for the number I needed.

He picked up on the fifth ring.

"Edward…?"

"Yeah, Ben. It's me. Listen. I have a favor to ask…"

* * *

**Chapter End Notes****:**

I'm in no way affiliated with _Old Homes_ magazine. I just want Edward to have a monthly column in it! ;)

Thanks for reading and as always, let me know what you think!


	7. Cake and Calls

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

I can't sing enough praise to my sister, **Belindella,** for helping me with this story and for the hours of pre-reading and editing she does. You're the best!

Huge thanks goes to my fantastic beta's **Lezlee **&** yellowjellow113** for their time and skill that they dedicate to this story. Thanks for all your suggestions. ;)

Thanks so much to all of you who that are spreading the word about this story. I heart you all!

**I'm sorry this one is a lot shorter than the others, but I thought you'd prefer it earlier instead of longer. Next one will be bigger :)**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: ****Cake & Calls**

**Week One: Wednesday**

**E****dward:**

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Bella shouted at me as I was about to leave for work Wednesday morning. I sighed and turned around to face her.

After a quiet but delicious breakfast of bacon and poached eggs, I was anxious to get to the office and see if Ben had gotten Marie's number for me like I'd asked him to.

Trying not to let my impatience show, I watched Bella open the fridge and pull out a generous slice of chocolate cake she'd wrapped in Cling-Wrap. I blinked. She was giving me something to take to work.

She smiled and held the cake out towards me.

"Wow. Thank you," I said, taking the cake from her. My shock at her thoughtfulness had given me déjà vu of my mother. My mom used to make my lunch when I'd been in high school, and the happy memories that flooded my mind made me miss her.

"Thank you," I said again. "I've got to go… Have fun today with your friend… Annie, wasn't it?"

She nodded, and with one final good bye to Henry, I was out the door and running through the light rain to my truck.

I placed the wrapped piece of chocolate cake on the front passenger seat and shook my head from side to side with wonder. I started the truck and made my way to work, singing along to the music on the radio while thinking about the potential news Ben would have for me.

I headed straight for Ben's office. I cursed when his assistant told me he was overseeing things down at the editing room and wouldn't be back in his office until noon. Knowing how much he hated being interrupted, I had little choice but to wait.

Time dragged. I tried to focus on my work, but it was difficult. I had two cups of coffee and devoured Bella's cake for my morning snack. I still couldn't believe she'd been that thoughtful. I usually just bought something at work, so I couldn't describe how good it felt to eat that _homemade_ cake, knowing someone had thought enough of me to pre-wrap it for work.

I was beginning to see that that was Bella though. Even though she was paid to cook, clean and look after Henry, she didn't mind extending her care to me as well. She didn't seem to have an ulterior motive, she was just considerate. I had to agree with Rose and admit that Bella was a good nanny, a good person.

At five minutes to twelve, I jogged through the workplace to Ben's office and smiled when I saw him typing away at his computer.

"Hey, Edward. Come in." By the time he'd finished speaking, I was already sitting in his spare chair.

"Well? Did you ask her?" I asked. "What did she say, man?"

"Holy shit, dude. Lighten up." Ben spun in his chair to face me. "I swear you've got a major case of blue balls with the way you're acting."

I groaned, slumping back in my chair. "You have no idea."

"Really?" He asked, leaning forward. "She was really _that _good?"

"Ben!" I fisted my hands in my hair. "Tell me what the fuck I want to know or I'll…" I stopped when he narrowed his eyes at me. He was right. I was being a dick. Releasing my hair, I let my arms drop to my lap. "Did you get her number for me or what?"

"Sorry, Edward," he said, shuffling papers around on his desk.

I frowned, confused. "You didn't get it?"

"Nah." He chuckled, finding my disappointment comical. "Angela wouldn't give it to me. Said her friend told you she was only in town for the night and that she didn't want to see you again. I actually thought that was rather harsh, but you seem to –"

"Seriously, man. Shut the fuck up." I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. I wasn't going to tell him that Marie hadn't said it like that. "I can't believe Angela didn't give you Marie's number."

"I know. I even told her how desperate you seemed, but she kept saying no."

"Fuck!" I slammed my fists down on my thighs. Now what was I going to do?

I'd spent the entire night going from one erotic dream of her to another, but as the night progressed, she'd kept changing. Her hair color lightened, her flexibility increased, and her breasts got bigger. Each time she'd get better, I felt like I was creating my perfect fantasy woman.

Perhaps that's what 'Marie' was now; a small figment of reality in my otherwise exaggerated memory of her.

Had I turned someone that was really good into someone I wanted to believe was freaking amazing?

What would happen if I was with her again and she turned out to be nothing like I remembered? That notion scared the hell out of me, after all the effort I'd gone through to get to her. But then the other side of me shouted, "What if she's _everything _I remember and more?"

There was only one way to find out.

"I need to get her number, Ben," I said. "I can't handle this shit anymore. I keep thinking about her and it's driving me insane." It felt so good to vent. "She's everywhere I look. Every woman I see—it doesn't matter who they are—I compare them to her. If the woman's fat, I remember Marie being thin, if the woman's got thin lips, I remember how her plump ones felt…" I stopped myself before I said too much. Ben was listening to my every word but he was looking at me like he was concerned for my sanity. I released a humorless laugh and shook my head.

I'd _even_ compared Marie to Bella.

This morning, seeing Bella eat off her fork during breakfast had turned me on. It'd been such a simple act, but it had still sparked a reaction in me. I'd imagined Marie doing that but with my cock in her mouth. But, when I'd looked at Bella and compared her to Marie, their basic features were too similar that it was confusing me.

Bella's hair color, body and face shape were too similar to Marie's, that I found it difficult to stop myself from pretending she _was_ Marie.

The biggest difference that had calmed my hard-on was that Bella had brown eyes, no dress sense, and was younger than Marie.

The more I'd thought about it, the more I'd realized that as much as I _wanted_ to see Marie in Bella physically, they were just too different in regards to their character. Bella was quiet, bashful and coy. She played in sand-pits and baked cakes for chrissakes! Hell, she was probably still a virgin.

Marie on the other hand was a confident tigress who wasn't afraid to dance like a stripper, she could tell me what she wanted, and tackle me to the couch to suck me off or to ask for it harder, deeper…

I stood up and looked Ben straight in the eye. "What's Angela's number?"

**-x****xx-**

**Bella:**

Leaning against the kitchen counter, I stared at Angela with my mouth open. I was sure that if a fly flew into my mouth I'd still be too shocked to respond.

She'd just dropped a bomb on me, telling me that, Mr. Cullen—_Edward_—had asked his friend, Ben, to call her last night and get my phone number from her.

I couldn't believe it. On one level, I was excited, thrilled and flattered, but on another... Angela had been forced to lie for me, to her boyfriend, and that didn't sit well with me. At all.

"I'm sorry," I said, knowing an apology wasn't enough. "I didn't think it would get this bad. I never thought he'd try to contact me."

"Hmph! He's sure got it bad for you, girl. Ben said he was almost in tears."

I scoffed. "Somehow I doubt that. I can't imagine 'Big C' getting teary over a phone number." Due to our tiny-tot audience, we'd decided to call Mr. Cullen, _Big C_, just so Henry's little ears wouldn't channel it to his big mouth and tell anyone who really shouldn't be told.

As I contemplated what Angela had just said, I began packing away the lunch items we'd used to make sandwiches.

"You wanna play on my computer with me, Annie?" Henry asked Angela, using the name she told him to use months ago when they met due to how much easier it was for him to say. He looked so tired, I doubted he'd be awake in another half hour. "I've got this new game and it's—"

"Aw. Sorry, munchkin," she said, ruffling his hair. "But I've got to go. I promise next time I see you we'll play some more, okay?"

Henry's face fell. "Okay." He slipped off the kitchen stool, trudged his way to the adjoining music room and opened his laptop.

"God. He's such a cutie!" Angela said, watching him drop his chin into his hand. "A tired cutie."

"Yeah, I know. I should get him to bed."

"Alright, well… I'll go so you can do your thing." Angela hopped off the stool and pulled her large bag onto her shoulder. "I'd better get going anyway. Thanks for the swim and for lunch. And the chat. Oh! And remember what I said." She gave me a pointed look.

"I will." Angela had made me promise to relax more. She could see how stressed I was and the fact that I was beginning to be attracted to the man behind the façade, that was Mr. Cullen, it was only making me more confused. I'd laughed about how after months of me wanting his attentions, dreaming of him noticing me, I'd ruined any chance with him the moment I went back to his hotel suite. Even if he were to notice me as a woman now, I wouldn't be able to pursue him unless I told him about _that_ night.

And I couldn't do that. Not if I wanted to remain working as Henry's nanny.

The likelihood of him wanting anything to do with me outside of a one-night-stand was incredibly slim. After all, I had nothing to offer, nothing to tempt him with – except my body. I had nothing else.

No. I'd have to be content to just accept his friendlier attentions, and desire nothing more.

Angela said goodbye to Henry who gave her a weary look and a small wave. Just as we were about to leave the kitchen, my cell phone started ringing and after pulling it out of my back pocket, I saw it was Rose.

"Hi, Rose."

"Is that mommy?" Henry asked. I nodded, and he leaped to his feet, running up to me with his hands in the air trying to claw at the phone. All of a sudden, he was wide awake.

"Bella! Hey!" Rose greeted, her voice cheery. "How are you, sweetie? I was hoping to catch Henry before he went to sleep. Is he awake still or am I too late?"

"No, no. He's here. I was about to put him to bed, but he's still awake." I smiled as he began to jump up and down, clapping his little hands.

"Oh good," she said, relieved. "I'll talk to you next time…"

"Okay. Hope you're having fun…"

"You too, dear."

I handed the phone over to Henry who beamed.

"Mommy!"

I left him to his conversation as I walked Angela to the door.

Hearing Rose's voice, her kindness towards me, made my gut twist with guilt. She'd hate me if she ever found I'd seduced her ex-husband. I didn't want her to think I was ungrateful for all she'd done for me. After all, she'd trusted me with stories of her childhood, telling me how she'd never been good enough for her mother, how her father was a chronic cheater on her mother, and how her mother had taken out the anger she felt for her husband on Rose. Her mother's criticism explained why Rose was obsessed with her looks, why she was so scared of aging and loosing her man's attentions.

Poor woman.

I was glad I didn't have that kind of insecurity.

I reached for the door handle when Angela's phone started ringing with the chorus of _Good Girls Go Bad_. I raised an eyebrow and she shook her head.

"Long story," she said.

"I bet."

She looked at her cell's screen. "It's Ben," she said, smiling. "He's probably calling to ask me if I can meet him for a late lunch. Hang on." She turned away from me. "Hi, Ben. How are—?" She frowned, blinking a few times before spinning to look at me in disbelief. My eyes locked onto hers and I held still as I waited for her to tell me what had her so panicked. "Um... I–" She covered the mouth piece on the phone and fiercely whispered, "It's _Edward_!"

"_What?_" I leaned against the door, my eyes pinned to hers. _He's_ calling her now?

"What do I tell him?" she whispered, cringing away from the earpiece. "He's talking non-stop, trying to convince me to give him your number."

I had to admit, I loved his passion and eagerness for me. I stifled an incredulous giggle and shook my head. This wasn't happening!

"You can't give him my number!" I whispered to Angela. My heart was beating so hard against my chest my ribs were beginning to hurt. "He has my number. He'll recognize it."

She nodded and removed her hand, so I bit my lip to keep quiet, trying not to breathe in case he could hear me. I slipped over to Angela and put my ear next to hers so I could eavesdrop on what he was saying.

"You don't understand, Angela!" Edward said. "I _need_ her number."

"Edward…" Angela used her authoritive tone.

"I'm a good guy really. I'm not a stalker or anything, I know you probably don't believe that, but –"

"Ugh. _Edward!_" I flinched from how loud she yelled. "Calm down. _Please_. You're blasting my ear off. I'm sorry, really, but she doesn't –"

"No! Don't say that! Hear me out. Please! She's… I just want to talk to her. I can talk to her can't I?"

"I know you want to speak to her, but… Hang on. How'd you get Ben's phone?"

"I stole it."

"Well that's very mature of you." I smiled as she rolled her eyes. "Where's Ben?"

"Uh, he's waiting outside. I'm in the bathroom. I'll give him his phone back as soon as I get Marie'snumber. I promise." I smiled at him trying to use Angela's concern for Ben to get what he wanted.

"You're locked in the bathroom. I'm impressed!" She snickered, her tone dripping with sarcasm. It was hard to control the bubble of laughter I was dying to release at the mental image of an almost thirty year old man hiding in the men's toilets while he pleaded for a girl's phone number. It was ridiculous, but oh so cute.

"I tell you what," Angela said to him. "How about _I _call Marie and ask her to call _you_, that way if she wants to speak to you she can, and you can stop harassing _me_." I blanched at her plan. We'd discussed how it was too risky… But I couldn't deny that I did like the idea of talking to him again as Marie—if only for a moment. "When would be good for you?" Angela was asking me as much as him. I shrugged.

"Tonight?"he asked, his voice light and hopeful.

I pulled back and shook my head _no_. I couldn't get away tonight. I wouldn't be able to get away without suspicion all week.

"Saturday or Sunday," I whispered while mouthing it to her as well. "At _night_." I liked the idea of making him sweat for me a little longer, too. It would give me time to figure out what I was doing and what to say as well. This was going to be really, really tricky. A bubble of excitement started in my stomach, making it impossible to hide my smile.

"How about I tell Marie to call you on Sunday night?" Angela asked. I was gnawing on my lip so hard I began to taste copper, waiting for his answer.

He sighed. "You don't think she'd be able to call me any earlier?"

"No," Angela said, giving me a wink.

"Okay. Okay," he said. "I'm not… damn. Okay, Sunday… that's fine. Er, you'll need my number then."

"Yep. Give it to me." Angela nodded away and pretended to write it down, repeating it back to him. I smirked at her as we both knew I had his number. I had _all _his numbers. She cut off his "Thank yous" and asked him to say hi to Ben before she hung up.

As soon as she closed her phone I released the laugh that had been bubbling inside me, bursting to get out.

"Oh my God!" I said, squeezing Angela's arm. "I can't believe he just did that!"

"I know!"

I sighed, a goofy smile on my face. Did I really mean _that_ much to him that he'd just _begged_ my friend to get in touch with me? The possibility of being with him again began to assault my mind, casting images of his naked form, reminding me of his sensuous touch… how he was with me that night… It all began stirring the embers of my arousal into a warm glow.

I couldn't deny that his tender and caring treatment of me after I'd fallen over in the sandbox yesterday had softened my view of him from the brash and intimidating man I'd only known as Mr. Cullen. I had a feeling he was so much more…

I knew then that separating Mr. Cullen and Edward into two different people had been ridiculous. None of us were perfect, so why would I expect him to be faultless? Mr. Cullen wasn't some evil twin that I could separate from the charming and sexy Edward; they were one in the same. He was a man with faults. Edward had some issues with women, and Mr. Cullen had it in him to be kind and caring.

Who knew?

"Bella?" I blinked and looked into the amused eyes of my best friend. "You all right?"

I smirked at her. "Peachy."

"Oh. Bella. You're so cute when you're smitten." She laughed and pulled me in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around me, and I squeezed her in return. She knew how much I loved hugs and how I only got them from her. Oh, and from Henry, of course.

"Thanks, Ange. I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."

"Yeah, well, buy me a drink next time we're out, and I'll call us even."

"Deal."

"God, Bella," she said, opening the front door. "Your life is like a real life soap opera: full of drama, drama, drama."

I had to agree with her.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**Don't forget to review if you'd like a teaser for chapter 8. :)**


	8. Supernatural

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

To my wonderful sister, **Belindella,** for her incredible and consistent help with this story, being my soundboard, mentor and pre-reader/beta – You're the best!

Thanks to my amazing betas, **yellowjellow113 **& **Lezlee,** for their continued help and advice, even when RL gets tough. I don't know what I'd do without you guys.

A huge thank you to **Colleteg17 **for pre-reading this chapter, too, and to everyone who reviews – you're awesome! Thank you so much to those of you who are recommending this story as well!

Okay…

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Supernatural**

**Week One: Wednesday**

**Bella:**

When Mr. Cullen got home late that Wednesday afternoon, he was in a somber mood. I had a strong feeling it was due to the phone call he'd had with Angel. About Me! So I stayed out of his way and asked Henry to help me make dinner, allowing Mr. Cullen to brood in front of the TV by himself. I didn't feel the slightest bit guilty for being rather… _thrilled _that he wasn't talkative; he wanted me – even if it was my alter ego.

During dinner he was the same. He barely said anything, only responding to Henry's direct questions with short answers. Henry wasn't too upset though and was still happy to do most of the talking. I sat there trying to restrain my victorious smile the whole time.

It felt surreal to be a few feet away from Edward and for him to be oblivious that the woman he had begged to contact again… was _me_. I'd told Angela over coffee that morning how amazed I was that he hadn't recognized me as Marie yet, but she'd reassured me by showing me photos she'd taken of us that night with her phone.

I'd stared at the pictures, amazed that the sexy woman _next _to Angela was _me_. I'd looked so different with straight hair. My dark smoky eye make-up had made me appear so… sultry, not at all like the girl I saw in the mirror every day. I'd told Angela I hadn't realized just how blue the contacts made my eyes look. The tight red dress that I'd worn was more grown up than I remembered, being sexy in a professional sort of way. I looked _years_ older. I wondered how old Mr. Cullen thought I'd been that night. He'd readily believed the only lie I'd told him, which was that I worked in New York as a full-time personal assistant. It was a half lie really, as I did _personally_ assisted Henry every day.

I chuckled at the memory while I finished cleaning up in the kitchen before making my way through the great room, heading to my bedroom. It felt odd walking around Mr. Cullen's house when Henry was sleeping, so for the last few nights, I'd gone to my room early. The stupid TV in my room didn't work, but considering I was only here for a few more nights, I didn't care that much.

As I neared the stairs, I heard the television in the den. For a moment, I considered saying goodnight to Mr. Cullen, but then decided against it. As my foot creaked on the first step, he called out to me, making me stop.

"Bella…? Come here."

My breathing increased. Was I in trouble? Or did he just want to say goodnight? I turned and made my way into the den. He was sitting in the far corner of the sofa, still in his jeans and blue button up, with an expression of frustration and tiredness. His legs were stretched out along the chaise section of the couch, with his socked feet crossed at the ankle. In his lap, his right hand held a squat glass of what I assumed was scotch while his left laid on the armrest, his fingers tapping against the material.

In the nook of the bay window, the small table lamp was turned on making the room appear cozy and warm in the dim glow while light from the television flickered around the room.

"Sit," he said in a soft tone, his eyes dipping to the other end of the sofa.

The only other option was to sit in a single brown armchair that was between him and the large stone fireplace. Not wanting to sit _that _close to him, I perched on the edge of the sofa, at the opposite end to him and didn't know where to look. Another two people could sit between us, but the tension in the room and the fact that we were alone made me hyper aware of his proximity. Not to mention I could feel his eyes burning a trail over my face.

"You can watch TV down here you know," he said after a moment. I raised my eyes to his. He motioned his head to the TV. "You don't have to go to your room…"

I blinked. That's what he wanted to say? That I could watch TV with him? I wasn't in trouble? I breathed a sigh of relief and adjusted my glasses. "Thanks. But I –"

"Or are you still wary of me?"

I balked at his blunt question. Did he think that I went to my room because I was scared of him? I guessed on some level I was, but not _of _him. I was more worried about him _recognizing_ me. However, I was confident in the fact that if he hadn't recognized me after three days living in his house, he probably never would. He had been drinking that night, after all.

I realized I didn't need to hide so much anymore, so I shook my head. "No. I'm not–"

"It's okay," he interrupted, waving his hand in dismissal. "Ignore me. I've just had a hard day." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. His agitation was palpable. "Can I get you a drink or something?" he asked, raising his scotch glass from his lap. My eyebrows shot up in surprise before I could say anything. "Oh, that's right. You don't drink. Um…"

I'd never seen him so wound up and edgy. I noticed the glass he was holding was empty and figured the alcohol hadn't affected him yet. I'd seen him drunk. He got horny under the influence… brazen. _Mmmm_. My pulse quickened, remembering how he'd been that night.

"I'm all right. But thanks for the offer."

"How are your bruises today?" he asked, looking at my back.

I bit my lip, surprised of his ongoing concern. "Um, they're okay. Not as sore today…" I was starting to hope he'd ask to see them, just so I might feel his hands on me again.

"Good. I'm glad to hear it."

I smiled. I'd been apprehensive to let him see my back yesterday afternoon, but when he hadn't realized who I was, it gave me so much more reassurance to just be myself. I turned my gaze to the TV. It looked like a British home renovation show. They were discussing the pros and cons of re-opening the Victorian fireplace. It was a beautiful townhouse but even though I tried to concentrate on the show, all I could really think was how close he was to me.

"And ah… how'd you sleep last night?" he asked. "I'm sure it would have been painful to lie on your back."

"Yeah. But it wasn't the bruises that kept me awake." He was being sociable and not talking to me as an employee. I loved it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him study me for a moment. "What do you mean? Didn't you sleep well?"

"Um… Forget it." I shook my head side to side and looked down. "It's just sleeping in a new place… I couldn't sleep."

"Why?" he asked with a light laugh. "Come on. I have a feeling there's more to it than just sleeping in a new place."

He was watching me with curiosity swirling in his green pools. I dragged the bottom half of my lip between my teeth.

"No. You'll laugh at me." I was flirting. And loving it.

"Okay, now you've _got_ to tell me why you couldn't sleep."

Taking a deep breath, I huffed with fake annoyance. "Ugh! I couldn't sleep because… Because I kept… thinking about _ghosts._" It was true. Ghosts and images of wild animals breaking into the house and choosing to attack _me_ were what had menaced my thoughts to the point where I'd hid under my comforter and sung American Pie by Don McLean.

Mr. Cullen's lips twitched. "Aren't you a little old to be scared of ghosts?" His green eyes took on a shining glint and his lips twisted into a crooked grin. I felt my girly bits tingle with approval.

"How old do you think I am?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. Blinking a few times, his mouth opened but nothing came out. I couldn't help wondering if Rose had ever told him how old I was. Surely she would have.

"Uh… I don't know."

"Come on. Take a shot. I promise not to be offended." I twisted around to face him a little more.

His eyes scorched a path from my Chucks, up my jeans and the front of my hoodie then over my glasses and hair. I felt my entire body inundate with warmth, like his eyes had the power to ignite my blood into lava. Holding my breath, I bit my lip again, hard.

"If I _had _to guess," he said, "I'd say you were… nineteen?"

I gasped. No wonder he thought I wasn't trustworthy. He though I was still a teenager.

"I'm twenty-two, actually," I said, holding my head a little higher.

"You're kidding!" He studied me again, probably trying to imagine me as an actual woman.

With him so close and looking at me, I longed to reach out and pull him to me, to claim his mouth with my lips.

I sat on my hands instead.

He was turning me into a horny deviant, all because he was so close… yet so untouchable.

"But," he continued, giving me a meaningful look, oblivious to my inner turmoil. "You do know there's nothing outside your room. Right?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, _you _can think that if you want. Me on the other hand, I've heard enough scary ghost stories and police reports to haunt me my entire life, not to mention being a fan of supernatural shows, like… _Supernatural_."

He laughed, actually laughed. The gorgeous sound echoed in the small room and settled deep within me. I couldn't help smiling, staring at him in wonder. It was the first time I'd seen _him_, Mr. Cullen, relaxed and happy because of me. He had a tendency to sound like an old man, hung up on rules and business and being the boss. But I liked this side of him. This was Edward. Though I accepted they were one in the same now, it still surprised me how many facets he had to his personality.

"I can't believe you like that show," he said, still chuckling.

"What are you talking about? It's great! There's action, suspense, mystery and…" hot guys in hot cars.

"And gore and horror and things that keep little girls awake at night." He raised his eyebrows and gave me a pointed look.

I laughed, wanting to tell him the main reason I watched it was to ogle Jensen Ackles, another guy with nice green eyes, but decided against it. "It's _not_ gory," I said, loving our conversation. He lowered his head to peer at me from under his bushy brows_. _Oh God… not that look. "Fine! It can be a _little_ gory."

He smirked and looked away, thinking he was clever. I breathed easier now I was free from the intensity of his gaze.

"So why do youwatch it if it scares you?" he asked, returning his attention to me and cocking his head to the side.

"Well, like I said, it's got everything…"

"You probably like the guys in it."

"Well _yeah_. They're hot." He grunted. "Plus I love their car. Do you know the car I'm talking about?" He didn't say anything but he had a sexy, sly smirk on his face. I licked my lips. "It's a 1967 Chev –"

"Chevy Impala," he interrupted. "I have that car."

I scoffed. "You do not."

"I do."

I stared at him, trying to see if he was lying. Every time I watched Dean rev the engine or spin the tires of that bad ass car… _Oh!_ Before I met Mr. Cullen, Dean was the starring man of my fantasies. Him and that damn sexy black Chevrolet. I'd often pictured us going at it in the back seat, or on the hood, or…

"I own a 1967 Chevy Impala," he said, nodding his head. "The very same in fact. It's a four door, too. The same as theirs. That's why I watch the show. It's like I'm seeing my baby on screen."

I squirmed a little. Could he be any more male?

My breathing changed as I imagined Edward driving a black Chevy. Oh, yeah…

"What color is it?" I asked. Don't say black, don't say black…

"She's black." Damn. I just died and went to heaven."But at the moment she's covered in red spots. Looks like she's got chicken pox." He chuckled.

"Come again?"

He explained how he was restoring it and had just finished filling the holes and dents with pinky-red body filler, making me see that his love of challenges went well beyond dares.

"I'll be getting her spray painted soon," he said with a twinkle in his eye and his voice full of excitement. All signs of the forlorn Mr. Cullen from earlier had now gone. "And then she'll be… midnight black."

I shook my head, now willing to accept that he really did own a Chevy. My fantasy was now complete.

"So what TV shows do _you _like?" I asked, hoping to continue the carefree mood for longer.

"Uh… apart from _Supernatural_?" he teased, winking. My breath hitched. I didn't know how much longer I would last sitting so far from him. My skin was tingling with desire just to touch him, to have his fingers caress me like they did the other night… "When I get time, I don't mind watching _NCIS _or _Las Vegas_…"

"So chicks in skimpy clothing and macho guys that save the day? How typical. I bet you're a fan of James Bond, too. Hell, you probably still enjoy watching Baywatch." I smirked, enjoying the way his eyes flashed with surprise at how candid I was being.

I couldn't help thinking; yeah, I'm not always a good little nanny, Mister. I do have a personality.

"Hey!" He acted insulted but I saw straight through it and laughed. "I also enjoy that period drama series… the uh… _The Tudors_, when it's on. That's a serious show."

"_I_ like that one, too." I blushed, remembering the last sexy episode I saw where King Henry VIII had sex with Anne Boleyn. That had been hot. All those thoughts about sex had my pulse thrumming in my veins.

"I also like that show…um… _Sex in the City._"

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, my jaw dropping open. Not more talk about sex!"But you're… a _guy_!"

"Your point being? It's interesting and funny as hell. Plus it's got sex and nudity _and _the girls talk about sex_. _In _detail_. I also get to see the way girls talk about men. What guy wouldn't want to watch that?"

Knowing he had me there, I laughed before remembering what he had said to me at the club about that show making Cosmopolitans popular. "So that's why you think girls…"_ Shit! I'm not Marie! _ "Um…" _Shut up!_ "Um, why you seem to know…I mean… think a lot about… er… women." I cringed, knowing that was a pathetic cover up.

"What?" he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Having dug myself a hole, I knew I had to dig myself out, but somehow I also knew I'd probably just dig myself deeper.

"Yeah, um..." I knew only one way to fix it. "Rose may have mentioned… something…" I trailed off, waving a dismissive hand and looking back at the TV, trying to ignore how burning hot my ears and face were.

"Oh." He picked up the remote and started flicking through the channels. I sat there, cursing myself for almost putting my foot in it and for killing the fun mood we had going. The silence dragged on, and I was about to get up and slip from the suffocating room when he spoke. "Perhaps you should know," he said, making me look at him. "Rose has a tendency to… _exaggerate_ things, often going to extremes. She either loves you or she hates you. I don't know what she's told you about me, but… Forget that! What _has_ she told you about me?" His tone was demanding as he turned his torso to face me more.

Was he serious? He really wanted me to repeat all the shit she'd said?

Staring at his attractive face, I swallowed uneasily. "I don't know if it would be appropriate... I wouldn't tell Rose anything you'd say to me, so…"

"I don't care what you tell her. She knows how I feel about her, but unlike her, I don't go around bad mouthing her to you, do I? I think I have a right to know what's being said about me behind my back."

He had a point there. I mean, he'd never once even called her a name in front of me and if I were him, I'd want to be told, too. My loyalty towards Rose wavered as I looked into his offended green eyes.

He wanted to know.

He deserved to know.

But I just couldn't do it.

What would it accomplish? His pride would be wounded and he'd only become more resentful towards Rose. If he was that desperate to know, I'm sure Rose would be happy to tell him herself.

"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice, and I really was, for much more than being unable to answer his question. "It won't do any good to tell you. I just… perhaps you should talk to Rose instead."

He grunted in an "as if" sort of way and scrubbed his face with both hands. After a long moment—the only sound in the room coming from the television—he released a sigh and let his head rest back against the couch. "Shit. You're probably right. Imagining what she's said is bad enough without having it declared out loud."

My shoulders relaxed, pleased he wasn't going to push me. We sat in silence for a while, just watching the TV, and I was grateful that the majority of the tension had gone from the air.

He flashed me a look. "So Henry's told me you like to listen to loud music."

I chuckled. "Is that supposed to be a question?"

"Fine, Miss Smart-ass. Is it true?"

"Yes."

"And…? What sort of music do you like?"

"Um…" I told him some of my favorite bands, songs and artists and he disregarded some and agreed with others before telling me his. He flicked the television onto MTV for us to criticize and laugh at while we talked about music for ages. We both got comfy and discussed music clips, rating each one that came on. I took off my shoes and curled my legs under me, enjoying how easy it was to talk to him now and taking full advantage of the opportunity to ogle him.

Being so close and seeing him happy again made it almost impossible to stay at my end of the sofa. Every time he laughed or smirked at me, or hell, even when he _snorted _I'd get more and more turned on. I was a lost cause.

I kept imagining him looking up at me with his intense, predatory eyes, ordering me to come to him.

I licked my lips, almost remembering the taste of him.

We'd both relaxed so much we became oblivious to the passing time. Not that I cared.

Soon, we were talking movies, and I was pleased that we agreed more than disagreed on our favorites and what we liked. I loved watching his Adams apple bob when he laughed or swallowed. I wanted to crawl into his lap and lick it again, before I kissed my way down his naked torso, unbuttoning his shirt as I went. I remembered how I'd sucked him off on the couch in the hotel suite and at the memory I dragged my lip into my mouth and sucked on it.

I was aware that only _he_ could turn me on this much but this was ridiculous. What if I moved and he saw what I assumed was now a darkened wet patch in the crotch of my jeans? It would probably look like I'd peed myself a bit. How mortifying would that be?

With that in mind, I kept my legs together and brushed my thighs with my hands, unable to hold in a yawn. I felt more horny than tired, but I couldn't help it.

"Oh." He looked at his watch, and I copied him, shocked when I saw that it was past midnight.

Despite how late it was, I didn't want the night to end. Besides stimulating my girly bits into a throbbing frenzy, talking with him had been fun. He'd treated me like an equal, like a friend. I really didn't want to part with this new, easy side of him, but I needed my sleep if I was going to keep up with Henry tomorrow, especially since I got such little sleep the previous night. With that in mind, I moved my feet off the couch and picked up my shoes.

"Yeah, I guess it _is_ pretty late," he said, sliding his feet from the coffee table and to the floor. Was he as reluctant to go to bed as I was?

Standing up, I held my Chucks in front of my crotch—just in case—and took a few steps backwards towards the door but stopped to say goodbye. He was sitting forward, his back hunched with his forearms on his knees, a small smile on his face as he watched the TV.

"Well, goodnight…" I trailed off, unable to bring myself to say Mr. Cullen. I didn't want to be reminded that he, Edward, was my employer.

He looked up and with the kindest eyes he'd ever shown me and gave a slow nod. "Night, Bella. I hope you sleep better tonight."

Oh God. The way he just said my name, my _real _name, all sweet, soft and _smooth_… it made my breath catch and my belly erupt into tingles.

Thank God I brought my vibrator with me. I needed to blow off some tension.

Remembering how I'd promised to call him Sunday night made my stomach erupt with fluttering butterflies. Perhaps I _could_ have the real thing again. It was so tempting, such a tantalizing idea.

But, he knew me better now.

Should I really risk it again?

* * *

**I'm on twitter now, so come over and say hi: **_**Nyomixx**_

**There are pictures of Edward's living room/den and his car after this chapter on **_**Twilighted**_** if anyone's interested. There are also some photos posted on chapters 3, 4 & 5.**

**I know that Rob has a 196****3**** Chevy, but before those pic's came out, this chapter was already written. Anyone believe me? *sigh* Oh well... :) Just goes to show how much of a man's man Rob is! LOL. Driving his muscle car... **

**Do you enjoy the show **_**Supernatural **_**like Bella and Edward? **

**Really hope you enjoyed seeing them get to know each other a little better and relax their guards more. **


	9. Fish & Chevy's

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

A massive thank you goes to, **Belindella,** for her relentless and consistent help and advice to me, as my soundboard, mentor and pre-reader/beta – This story would suck bricks without her!

Thanks to** Colleteg17 **for her suggestions as well and to **yellowjellow113 **& **Lezlee** for being brilliant betas with their honesty, help and advice. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Thank you so much to those of you who are recommending this story, too! To everyone who reviews – you're awesome and I love hearing from each of you.

* * *

**Chapter ****Nine: Fish & Chevy's**

**Week One: Thursday:**

**Edward:**

Cringing awake at six o'clock, my aching right shoulder was giving me hell. I lay on my back, closing my eyes for another five minutes of sleep while I rubbed my shoulder in an effort to try and ease the pain. I was still annoyed at how I hadn't been able to see Emmett for a massage yesterday. I was left with little alternative than to wait until he came over tomorrow for our Friday night routine of pizzas, beer and football. I just had to suck it up and ignore the soreness as best I could.

Despite only getting around five hours of sleep, my mind was alert, remembering how surprisingly fun last night had been with Bella.

I hadn't had such a light-hearted, non-sexual night with a woman – who wasn't my sister – in ages. Bella had astonished me by being easy to talk to. I'd never had the desire to learn more about any of the previous nannies, because my attentions always seemed to backfire. How'd they could misinterpret a smile or question into thinking I was interested in a relationship with them, I'd never know. However, Bella seemed different. She never dressed sexily or sought my attention. Yes, she flirted a bit last night, and truth be told, so had I, but it was just a bit of fun. Harmless.

Point was, she'd never crossed the line or tried anything with me. She knew better.

I hoped we could have a similar night again, soon.

Knowing I had work to do, I put on a pair of old work jeans, a wife beater, a long sleeved, green pull-over and a flannel. After putting on some socks, I headed downstairs, hoping to get my work done before Henry woke up.

I reached the pantry's side door and pulled on my boots, wondering what Bella would make for breakfast. I hadn't eaten so well in quite a while. Looking out the window, I saw it was raining, so I put on my waterproof coat and selected an umbrella from the large urn. I sloshed over to the workshop, enjoying the quietness of the morning that was only disturbed by the birds chirping and the rain. When I opened the door, I flicked on the workshop lights and blinked to focus my vision.

It wasn't really a 'workshop' in the sense of the word, but that's what I referred to it as. It was really just a big room with a mini kitchen, bathroom and living area. The workshop was separated from the garage by a wide door, which kept most, but not all, of the dust and fumes out. In the past, I'd escaped over here when Henry's nannies had been staying with me. It sounded like I was doing something manly if I said I was 'going to the workshop' and not 'going to sit and watch TV in the garage.'

I'd even lived in here for a year while I concentrated on getting my house livable.

Hanging slightly off center in the room, was the punching bag. I strolled past and gave it a few quick jabs with my fists, but the jarring sent a shooting pain down my right arm.

"Agh! Shit. Shit. Shit." Damned, stupid shoulder.

I massaged and rotated it while opening the wide door into the double car garage, trying to ignore the pain.

Seeing my Chevy hidden under the gray coversheet, I recalled Bella's disbelief last night when I'd said I owned one.

I smirked at the memory and grabbed what I needed from the counter on the side wall before walking back into the workshop. On the counter near the door sat the massive fish tank I'd bought for the three, foot-long Koi fish that were arriving today.

After filling the tank with water, getting the pH right and adding the appropriate water conditioners, I trudged back to the house under the protection of the umbrella.I opened the side door to the butler's pantry and toed off my boots. Hanging my coat back on the peg, I shook the water off the umbrella before putting it back in the urn. I shivered, and ran my hands through my hair.

Just as I entered the kitchen, I looked around in confusion.I was sure I'd left the lights off.

That's when I saw Bella at the kitchen sink.

She was wearing her usual jeans and a hoodie, and was humming a tune while swaying her hips and shoulders to a beat in her head. I wondered how she hadn't heard me enter. Just when I was about to say "hi," she turned and saw me.

"Shhhit!" She flung herself backwards and crashed against the counter, her frightened eyes raking over me as she plucked earphones from her ears. Oh. iPod.

Hang on… "Did you just swear?" I couldn't contain my smirk. I'd never heard her cuss before.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me?" Her hand clasped her chest, probably willing her heart rate to slow down.

"I was in my workshop. I had things to do before breakfast."

She was still breathing heavy while her eyes took in my old work clothes, and I wondered if she'd reacted as she had because she hadn't recognized me in my work gear.

"What is it with you and Henry?" she asked. "You both seem to enjoy scaring the hell out of me." She faced the counter and pulled out the coffee container from an overhead cabinet. She mumbled something which sounded very similar to, "like father like son."

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." She seemed to have a tendency for getting lost in her own mind and ending up a thousand miles away.

She turned her face and scowled at me. "Oh, you…" She looked quite cute, trying to act fierce, so I smirked at her.

I could tell she had a feisty side, but one she didn't like to show often.

She shook her head and, with raised eyebrows, closed her eyes and sighed. Her shoulders relaxed as she extinguished the fire in her eyes. Instead, she ripped opened the coffee container. She measured out the exact proportion of coffee grinds and placed them in the machine. It wasn't until then that it occurred to me that the coffee she'd made for the last three days had been just how I liked it – perfect in fact. Yet I'd never told her how strong I liked my coffee. So how did she…?

"Bella?"

"What."

"How do you know how much coffee to put in?" I knew for a fact that Rose liked her coffee weak as shit.

She shrugged, a sly smirk forming on her face. "I've seen you do it before. And I guess you could say that my… _observation_ skills—as you called them—are in fact… _quite_ exceptional."

I burst out laughing, having gotten her message loud and clear. "All right. All right. You win." My shoulders shook with amusement as I walked out of the kitchen to get Henry and myself ready for the day.

**-xxx-**

Bella made a massive breakfast of hash browns, sausages, roasted tomatoes and the best cheesy scrambled eggs I'd had outside of a restaurant. Things between Bella and me were much easier now, and I ended up talking more than usual.

I told Bella that I was only going to be at the office for a few hours that morning, but that I'd be back around lunch time as I was expecting a couple of deliveries and it was important that I be here.

After informing her and Henry that Emmett was still coming over tomorrow night to watch the baseball game, I asked Bella if she liked MBL, not putting it past her to say yes.

"Um… yeah," she said, sipping her tea. "But I haven't watched a game in years."

"Well, you can join me and Emmett. If you'd like."

She smiled and bobbed her head. I was kind of disappointed she didn't get more excited.

As it was pouring rain outside, Bella asked me if I had any crafts or board games to help entertain Henry for the morning. I was impressed with her forethought and when I told her where to find the games and craft supplies, I laughed as Henry got excited at all the things they could make.

"Bella," I said. "Before I go, I have to tell you that my housekeeper, Mrs. Cope, will be arriving shortly."

"Mrs. Cope?" she asked, blinking.

"Do you know her?"

"Um… Maybe. I used to know a woman by that name, but… she wasn't a housekeeper."

"Well… I guess you'll know when you meet her," I said, picking up my briefcase.

"I guess so."

"She doesn't like people getting in her way, so if you don't know her…"

Bella smiled. "I'll give her a wide berth."

**-x****xx-**

When I got home a little after 12:30, I found both Henry and Bella asleep on the sofa in the den, _Madagascar_ still playing in the DVD. On the small coffee table sat an elaborate rocket ship they'd made earlier. Bella's arm draped over Henry's small frame as he lay with his head in her lap. Her feet were up on the table and her head was flopped back against the sofa, her mouth gaping and her glasses askew. I chuckled at the sight. Bella didn't look all that comfortable, but she didn't seem to care. The sight of them together warmed my heart, and I smiled, seeing how relaxed my son felt in her presence.

I guessed Bella had the same effect on both of us.

I was about to poke Bella's shoulder and wake her up, but her reaction this morning to my "sneaking up" on her resounded in my head and stopped me. Retracing my footsteps back to the great room, I approached them again, but this time I called out their names and let my shoes flop against the hard wood floor.

Henry came stumbling out, blinking himself awake. I picked him up and enjoyed how cuddly he was when he was drowsy as it reminded me of how floppy he was as a baby.

"Hello, Daddy," he whispered, burrowing his head against my neck.

"Aww. Are you up for helping your dad this afternoon?" I asked, rubbing his back with my hand. He nodded and played with my starched collar.

Bella appeared in the doorway and gave me a sheepish smile while fiddling with her glasses.

"Hi, Bella." I gave her a nod in greeting and her smile grew. "Have you guys had lunch yet?" I asked, turning towards the kitchen. "'Cause I'm starved."

"Uh-huh." Henry yawned. "We had ham and lettuce sandwiches. I helped, too."

"Good boy."

"Mr. Cullen…?" An older woman's voice from behind me made me turn.

"Oh! Hello, Mrs. Cope. How are you? I didn't see your car out front…" Her cheeks were flushed and her brow sweaty. The woman may have a straightforwardness about her that rubbed other people the wrong way, but she was one hell of a worker. I chatted with Mrs. Cope about menial things while Bella observed.

Before long, I heard a vehicle approaching. Suspecting it was my delivery, I excused myself from Mrs. Cope and went to the front door.

"Ah… Should I, um…?" I turned at Bella's stuttering question. She adjusted her glasses. I asked her if she would be able to make me a sandwich for lunch. She nodded and walked off towards the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, I was placing the three stunning Koi fish in the tanks that I'd prepped this morning. Henry was amazed at how big they were and with their beautiful colorings. They were worth every penny. I could only imagine how much Cynthia would have loved them and was glad the pond was now ready to support fish.

Bella knocked on the workshop door with a tentative rapping. I went and opened it for her and was surprised to see her gnawing on her lip. The confident, witty girl I'd glimpse was in hiding. The coy, unsure girl was out. But she couldn't conceal the tinge of curiosity in her eyes as she tried not to take in the uniqueness of the workshop behind me.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to keep her eyes on my face. "I know I'm not supposed to be here, it's just… you didn't come back to the house and your sandwich…" She lifted a plate, showing the large ham and lettuce sandwich she'd made. I'd been expecting something simple and easy, like peanut butter and jelly, so I smiled in gratitude. "Here." She handed it to me.

"Thanks. This looks delicious."

Her cheeks tinged pink and she adjusted her glasses. "It's nothing. So, I'll ah… leave you to it."

I frowned when she turned to walk away. "Wait."

"Bella!" Henry shouted, barging past me. "Come and see the fishies in here. They're huge! And they look like they have a—a—a moo-stash, and have pretty tails."

"Oh, Henry… I can't." She flashed me a look that I was sure I was meant to understand, but I didn't.

Henry grabbed her hand. "Come on!" he said, dragging her passed me. "I'll show you my favorite."

He gushed over the fish and their colorings, and I sat back and watched them both while eating at the small card table in the corner kitchen. Bella's eyes bulged at the fish and she was just as amazed with them as Henry. "They're for the pond," Henry said. "But we have to leave them in the tank for a little while so we know they aren't sick and make the other fishies sick."

"Oh. Well… That's a good idea," Bella said. "You wouldn't want to make the other fishies sick."

"Exactly," I agreed, pushing the empty plate to the middle of the table and wiping my mouth on the napkin she'd provided.

She darted her eyes over to me as if startled. "Oh, um… should I go?" she asked.

"No. It's okay."

"But your rules—"

"It's okay. I know what I said, but it's fine."

She blinked a few times, surprised. "Oh. Okay."

It was the first time in over a year that I was breaking my own rule in allowing a nanny to enter my private domain. Last year, I'd come home early from work and had been shocked to find Carmen, a previous nanny, sitting behind the wheel of the 1967 Pontiac GTO that I'd just finished restoring to immaculate condition.

I couldn't believe how cheeky she'd been, taking that liberty. I mean, hadn't she known a man's car was his throne?

"It's so pretty," she'd said, running her hands over the steering wheel.

Since then, I'd made sure every new nanny had been aware that my workshop was off-limits.

Bella held my gaze, searching my eyes for something she must have soon found because she relaxed after a moment and nodded once, a small smile on her lips that raised the apple of her cheeks.

Standing up, I strolled past her to the large partition door and opened it.

"Come here. I've got something to show you."

She followed, curiosity and suspicion making her grin.

"Stand here," I said, pointing to the floor just inside the garage.

Walking along the side of the Chevy, I stopped at the trunk, my heart crashing around in my chest. I couldn't believe how excited I was to show her my car. With deliberate slowness, I pulled the coversheet off of the shell of my latest project, gathering it until the sheet was a pile at my feet. The car wasn't much to look at right now, but _I _could see how it'd look in the end, and I hoped Bella could see past the dust, the lack of interior upholstery, chrome detailing, wheels and engine, and appreciate her for what she was—a work in progress.

"Oh, God!" she said, stepping closer, her mouth agape and eyes bulging. Henry's head appeared in the doorway behind her for a moment before he returned to watch the fish. He'd seen the Chevy before.

I shook my head at her and smiled. Her reaction was everything I'd hoped for and more. I watched her eyes rake over the frame of the car and her hand rise to touch the passenger door paneling. Her slow movement was almost reverent and my heart raced as my gaze fixed onto her hand. Before her fingers made contact though, her eyes shot to mine in a silent question of permission. I nodded once, and she smiled, touching the pads of her fingers to the cold, dirty metal.

My breath caught in my throat the moment her fingers made contact. It was like she was touching _me_, and the way she skimmed her touch along the paneling… I could almost feel them running across my torso. I never would have thought seeing Bella touch my car would turn me on, but it did. Even though I enjoyed how my dick stirred in my pants, I tried to clear it of my wayward thoughts.

She was my nanny. And since I didn't want her to think that way about me, it was common courtesy to return the favor.

I walked towards her. "I know it's not much to look at now, but after she's spray painted, the engine can be reinstalled and the chrome detailing can go back on. And of course she'll look better with seats." I chuckled, having mixed feelings when her hands dived into the pockets of her jeans.

"What color did you choose for the interior?" she asked, taking a step away from me and the car but bending down to look inside, through the glassless passenger door.

"I was going to go with red…" Did she just frown? "But decided to stick with classic black and cream." She nodded, a smile playing about her mouth as she stood up again. Her lips looked so plump and red, so kissable. My breathing deepened as she drew the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth and clamped down on it. I wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was holding back from saying. "What? You don't think black will look good?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I think it'll be… perfect."

We talked some more as we moved around the car, inspecting it from all angles, and she questioned me relentlessly about what I was planning to do and how I was going to do it.

I was surprised by Bella's interest and knowledge about restoring cars. "How do you know so much about cars?"

"Oh. Well… my first car was a 1969 Dodge Charger."

"A Charger?" I whistled. "Nice."

"I know! I loved it." Her face lit up. "Dad and I worked on it every afternoon for three weeks before it was drivable, so…"

"So he taught you everything you know?"

Her eyes dipped to the floor and she nodded. "Mm-hm."

"What happened to the car? Do you still have it?"

"No. It, um, died my senior year."

"You couldn't fix it?"

A shrug. "Dad said it wasn't worth it."

"Oh. What was the problem? Was it the carburetor…?"

She swallowed and gave me a sad smile. "I can't remember."

"Did you and your dad restore any other cars?" She took a deep breath, avoiding my gaze, and I got the feeling something had happened with her dad. "Are you and your dad still close?"

She strode over to the wall where my car rims were hanging. "Are you going to use shallow rims on the wheels, or just standard?"

Her unwillingness to talk about herself only fueled my curiosity more.

I moved closer to her. "Bella, what—?"

"Daddy?" Henry asked, poking his head around the corner. "Can I climb the tree outside?"

"Um… sure. But stay near the garage," —he smiled at me and ran off— "and be _careful_!" I laughed and Bella smirked.

I was about to ask her more about her father when Bella moved towards the workshop door.

"He really likes those fish, doesn't he?" she asked, her fingers tapping against the leg of her jeans. I frowned as she tightly crossed her arms over her chest.

"Er… yeah, he does." Why was she nervous all of a sudden?

Without a word, she paced back over to the fish in the workshop, stopping in front of them. Bemused, I followed her, leaving the Chevy uncovered until later. Standing next to her at the tank again, I was pleased the fish seemed to be doing well.

"Looks like they're doing well," I said, trying to return to our earlier easy talk. "Can't go wrong with fish for kids, that's why I got them."

"Well, he probably would have been just as impressed with a goldfish in a bowl you know." I blinked a few times, unsure what she was saying. She shook her head side to side. "Sorry, it's just…" She closed her eyes. "They just seem rather… _extravagant_… just to entertain Henry."

I could see how she would think they were excessive, but considering how much I would have spent on Cynthia for her birthday, if she were here, $2,000 was nothing.

"I didn't buy them _just_ for Henry," I said, wanting her to know the full reason why I'd sought them out. It occurred to me that if I shared a bit about my horrid past, Bella might want to share her own. For some reason, I wanted to know what had her jumpy, guarded and what had caused that sad smile earlier when she'd spoken of her dad.

I rarely talked about my daughter, Cynthia, but right then, I wanted to. Alice had told me countless times I needed to talk about what happened, about my grief and anger, and I realized that although Bella was my employee, I felt comfortable with her and trusted her. So, I decided to tell her.

"When I was married to Rose," I said in a quiet voice. "We became pregnant shortly after Henry was born." Her face turned to look at me, her eyes shinning with interest. When she realized what I was going to say next—for Henry had no younger siblings—her brows creased with sympathy. I'd only told a handful of people about Cynthia, but I just _knew_ Bella wouldn't be judgmental or full of advice, so I kept going. My vision became unfocused as my mind slipped into memories.

"When Rose was eight months pregnant, we lost our baby." I heard Bella's soft gasp but I didn't stop. "We knew we were going to have a little girl and two days before she died, we'd agreed to call her Cynthia." I ran a hand through my hair, remembering how content we'd been when we'd settled on a name we'd both liked.

"Rose noticed the baby hadn't moved in a while, and when we went to the doctors, they couldn't find a heartbeat. We held a small service for her and scattered her ashes beneath the weeping willow tree down by the pond… That's her memorial garden."

"It's beautiful."

"I've tried to make it feminine for her—you know, _girly_—and I often go down there and pay my respects, but… I've been working on getting the pond ready for these fish for almost a year and really wanted to release them on her anniversary, but…"

"When? When was the anniversary?"

"It was on Monday." My voice was quiet and solemn. "June 22nd."

She inhaled sharply, her eyes wide in shock. "Oh… I'm so sorry. That was the day I moved here. I had no idea… I can only imagine how hard… Poor… I'm so sorry."

"Thank you. It's been three years, but I still find it hard to talk about her." I was surprised I wasn't overcome with anger like I usually was. Then again, I'd given Bella the edited version of what had happened. It was the finer details that made my blood boil. "I bought three fish to start with," I said, looking at the tank. "Considering that's how old she'd be now. Or would be in a few weeks if you go by when she was officially due."

"I take it Henry doesn't know," she said, looking up at me.

I shook my head. "No. He was only fourteen-months old when we lost her. And after Rose and I split, we decided to wait and tell him when he was older, so he could understand easier."

She nodded and motioned to the fish. "So why these particular fish?"

"Uh, the Koi?"

"Is that what they're called?"

"Yeah. Uh, I got 'em because they'll survive the winter out here—I hope—and because they're like the tough ass dudes of the fish world. Well… maybe not. They _are_ renowned for their bravery though. That's why they're a favorite with people getting tattoos.

"Is there some meaning to them? Something symbolic?"

I nodded. "Apparently, they give you courage to survive hard times. I liked the sound of that."

She smiled. "Me too."

"When I started researching them, I found that some colors represent family members. That's why I chose these guys. The predominantly black one with the little bit of red is 'father,' the bluish-gray and white one is 'boy,' and the red and white one is 'girl.'"

Bella took a deep breath and from the corner of my eye, I saw a tear run down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. "That's lovely."

Feeling choked up myself, I had mixed emotions at the sound of a truck pulling up on the gravel outside. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was almost two-thirty. "Err… That'll be the plants I ordered for Cynthia's garden."

"Oh. Okay."

"I thought Henry could help me plant them, and we'd give you the afternoon off. If you wanted to do anything in town, or…"

She smiled. "Thanks. I'm sure I can find something to keep me busy."

"Okay." I gave her a small smile before I crunched my way over the gravel towards the parked truck.

Henry came running up to me. "Daddy! Daddy! Who is it?"

I held his tiny hand in mine as he skipped beside me, trying to keep up. "It's a truck delivering some plants. Can you help me dig some holes to put them in?"

"Okay!"

"Great."

I couldn't believe how light I felt after telling Bella about Cynthia. Normally, thoughts of my lost daughter made me irritable as I got lost in the bitterness of the past, but I didn't feel any of that this time.

Was that strange? That I should feel this comfortable in the presence of a woman I hardly knew? That I'd shared one of my deepest secrets with her – my son's nanny? That I enjoyed talking with her? That I really liked her as a person?

As I shook the delivery guy's hand and began helping him unload, I realized that I hadn't had a woman make me feel so at ease, like Bella was able to make me feel, in such a long time. Even though she was my employee, I could tell she was a good person, and I wanted to know more about her. The fact that she was into muscle cars and knew about restoring them had been a huge surprise to me.

A great surprise.

I wondered if she had a boyfriend.

Blinking at the thought, I knew her love life was none of my business, but wanted to know.

She was such a nice girl, she probably did.

I didn't know why the thought of her being with someone disturbed me, but I had to find out if she was taken.

* * *

**Come and say hi or ask me questions ****about the story on twitter: **Nyomixx

**Have you noticed that Edward is referring to Bella as a woman? **

**What were your thoughts about poor Cynthia's death?**

**Do you think Edward should ask**** Bella the 'boyfriend' question?**


	10. Cryptic Conversations

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

**A/N:** This chapter has a small conversation of previous drug use.

If I didn't have my sister, **Belindella, **helping me with this story… *shakes head in wonder* She makes this fic so much more. She's amazing, and I love her for putting up with my all hour queries' and for pre-reading/ betaing this story!

Thank you **Colleteg17 **and **Arwen01** for your fab pre-reading suggestions, and to my beta's **yellowjello113 **&** Lezlee, **for your brilliant editing and ideas! I love your honesty, girls!

I was utterly blown away with the response to last chapter! You're sympathy in regards to Edward's grief was incredible, as well as your excitement with him confiding in Bella and with his reaction when she touched his car. Hmmm…

Let's see where our two heroes of the story are now.

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Cryptic Conversations**

**Week One: Thursday afternoon**

**Bella:**

Standing under the huge weeping willow tree by myself, I wiped at the tears streaming down my cheeks. There, carved into the trunk were her initials, 'CC' in a perfect heart. I looked around at the beautiful garden, the stunning white gazebo and the picture perfect pond… It all had such meaning, such depth behind it…

I couldn't help but cry.

Picturing Edward and Rose reverently burying their little Cynthia Cullen's ashes at the roots of the tree while they wept for their daughter made my chest and throat ache with sadness.

The garden was laced with a lingering grief, yet it felt hopeful, too. It was a strange combination, but being surrounded by flowers and so much life, so much color, it felt cheerful and peaceful, as well. I gazed at the garden with much more than simple appreciation.

It was stunning.

While the others were inside for the hour piano lesson with Irina, I'd chosen to explore Cynthia's garden. I'd asked Edward if I could come down here and he'd nodded, his eyes softening as he told me to look around.

The white gazebo stood a foot off the ground, standing in the shadow of the predominant tree. The gazebo was a lot larger than I'd first thought, with a white slatted porch swing that hung from the middle of the overhead beams. The swing had two floral pink cushions in each corner, and was supported from the beams by strong silver chains. It faced the large pond, and as I sat down and began to swing, I looked out over the water and the pretty flowers, trying to imagine Rose and Edward's little girl.

She would have been beautiful, no doubt.

Remembering the emotion in his voice when he'd told me how he had lost Cynthia made my heart break for him all over again. And for Rose. Neither of them had ever indicated that they'd lost a baby. It was just another reminder of how we all had painful secrets locked away.

I still felt horrible recalling how I'd thought such terrible things about him on Monday. But how was I to know that he was grieving that day for his unborn daughter?

I couldn't help wondering… Edward and Rose had been divorced for three years, and Cynthia had died three years ago… Could Cynthia's death have played a part in their separation?

It wasn't something I could exactly come straight out and ask him, or Rose. I knew it had been a huge thing for Edward to confide in me like he had, and I was amazed that he actually had. I mean, why me? Why now?

Every day since I'd been here, he continued to astound me, becoming more and more relaxed and open. He didn't seem like the same boss from Monday, and I was thrilled that he trusted me and felt comfortable around me now. He'd even let me into the workshop after he'd insisted a few days earlier that I stay clear of it.

Seeing his car though, that had evoked so many different emotions for me. The smell of oil, grease and old gas fumes had induced familiar feelings, making my throat tighten from the memories the smells conjured. My dad would have loved the Chevy, and I had found myself asking questions as if the car was a direct connection to my father – the father that loved me. I had kept imagining what questions Dad would have asked Edward and found myself asking them instead. It had been difficult not to swap car stories with Edward, but if I'd started, I would probably have ended up a blubbering mess.

Swinging slightly on the gazebo swing, I remembered the happy years with my dad, before things got bad. I used to sit on old paint cans in the garage, passing him tools while he had lay underneath the latest bomb of a car he was fixing up to sell for a profit. He'd ask me all about my day at school while he worked, and I'd sit and talk to him for hours. Back then, I was certain he loved me. Before everything changed…

_God, I miss you so much, Dad__dy._

Feeling another lump forming in my throat, I stood and turned, walking down the steps out of the gazebo. Not wanting to think about my dad anymore, I followed the small gravel path which weaved in and around the garden. There were various plants, and I spotted quite a few that were still in pots, next to a couple of spades. I realized they must have been the ones that were delivered earlier that Edward hadn't planted yet. Eventually, I returned to the gazebo swing and lay my sketch pad on my lap.

By the time I saw Edward and Henry walking down the hill, I'd drawn a sketch of the garden, using various lead pencils. I wasn't very good at drawing plants, especially getting the leaves right, but they were okay. Dad used to always tell me, "Practice makes perfect, Bella. Keep at it." As I put my lead pencils in the tattered pencil case my dad had bought me for my fifteenth birthday, I hoped he'd be pleased that I still practiced my drawing. I picked up my sketchpad before making my way up the hill, knowing that I had to get dinner ready.

As I walked towards Edward, I smiled as he swung Henry off the ground after he took a few steps. Henry had both his hands held securely in Edward's, and he squealed every time Edward swung him off the ground.

"Higher, Daddy. Swing me _higher!_" Henry insisted, trying to get a run up and pull himself up on Edward's arm at the same time. Edward turned and spun him in a wide circle instead. Seeing the large grin on both their faces and the sound of their happy laughter, it made me chuckle to myself. It was so good to see them laughing and having fun together. I didn't get to see this side of Edward often, so I soaked up the scene in front of me like a thirsty sponge.

Edward stopped when I was a few yards away, much to the annoyance of Henry who tugged on his father's hand relentlessly as though he could make his daddy's arm swing him if he jerked hard enough.

"Henry…" Edward protested sternly in a quiet voice. "Gimme a minute to talk to Bella, buddy. Okay?" Henry pouted and although he stopped yanking on his arm, he didn't let go of his hand. "Come here, then." Edward turned him around, and in one swift move, Henry was seated on Edward's broad shoulders. Henry giggled in triumph at being on top of the world up there, and with a beaming grin on his little face, he wrapped his small hands under his father's chin and hung on.

Edward and I laughed as Edward put his large hand on Henry's back to steady him. "Hold on!" he encouraged enthusiastically. Henry squealed when Edward bounced in place a few times.

Laughing with them both as I watched their shared moment, I felt my chest swell with warmth by Edward's carefree manner that continued to surprise me. Where had it been hiding up until now? He seemed so young…

Edward darted his eyes to the garden.

"What did you think?" he asked with a hint of apprehension in his voice.

"It's stunning," I reassured him, smiling. "Simply beautiful. The swing is a great idea…"

He nodded, looking pleased with my approval. "Thanks. That was Alice's idea actually."

After a moment of chit-chat over the sounds of Henry's delighted little noises and squeals, I looked up at the house. "Um, I'd better get dinner ready."

He blinked and smiled. "Oh. Right. I'll let you go then. Oh, by the way, Mrs. Cope's gone, so you'll have the house to yourself. Henry and I shouldn't be too long down here. I'll plant a few more and leave the rest for later." He gave me another brief smile before he started walking away, but I called out to him.

"Is there anything you'd like for dinner tonight?" I asked, holding my breath for some reason.

He shook his head, his eyes soft. "No. I'm sure anything you make will be fine."

He turned around before seeing my wide grin. I practically skipped the rest of the way to the house. Why had his words made me feel so proud, so accomplished, so… good?

Once I reached the patio, I was panting, trying to catch my breath, and I wondered if it was possible to become unfit after only five days without a proper workout. I'd tried to do laps when I went swimming with Henry, but I had to stop all the time to check on him, and I found it just wasn't worth the risk of something happening to him while my back was turned.

I was dying to do some laps in the pool, but I knew that I ran the risk of being seen without many clothes on by Edward, and hence possibly recognized. Then again, I had a better chance of not being seen by Edward if he was occupied putting Henry to bed later.

_Hmmm._

As I dumped my sketchbook and pencil case on my bed, I decided that as soon as the kitchen was clean after dinner, I would do a few quick laps in the pool while Edward was busy upstairs.

Looking at the clock on the kitchen wall, I read that it was already past five-thirty. Where had the time gone? There were two coffee mugs in the kitchen sink, and I realized that Irina must have stayed for a coffee and to chat-come-flirt with him afterwards. The woman was becoming more desperate every week – this week being the worst so far. As I gazed into the fridge, I remembered what Irina had said to me when she'd arrived earlier today.

"Oh my god! You're actually wearing clothes today," she'd exclaimed with more than a pinch of sarcasm. The last time I'd seen her, I'd been wearing my string bikini and a towel, but I didn't think she needed to be sarcastic about it. I'd frowned, wondering what she was doing. Even Edward looked bemused by her tone. She hadn't treated me so mockingly since I'd met her, and I didn't know how to respond. "Why don't you go relax, Bella? Go put your feet up," she'd suggested, waving her hand dismissively. I'd seen straight through her 'nice' intentions as just a way to get me out of the room. But seeing as how I'd planned on going to the garden anyway, I decided not to let her new attitude bother me.

Though _she_ may have been slow on the uptake, _I _knew that Mr. Cullen didn't sleep with employees, so I was sure nothing had or _would _happen between them. I guessed Irina would be in for a rude awakening if she kept pursuing him so blatantly.

Snickering, I carried the large watermelon from the pantry and placed it on the cutting board on the island countertop. I would make pumpkin risotto with bacon pieces for dinner, as well as cook a rib eye steak for Edward, but for dessert, I thought we could have fresh watermelon. I'd let Henry have ice-cream with his, and wondered if Edward would like that, too.

_Edward…_ It was so nice to say his name, even if it was only in my head.

_He may be Edward, but he's still my boss._

_Mr. Cullen…_

I hated referring to him as Mr. Cullen now. Just thinking of the stiff, formal name made my insides swirl with queasiness. I dreaded ever having to call him "Mr. Cullen" again, especially since we were closer. I'd grown to like him so much more after seeing him be sweet and tender, both with me and in regards to Cynthia's memory. I'd always known he was a good father, but seeing him play with Henry, like this afternoon, confirmed that he was a great dad. But I knew I had to eventually call him Mr. Cullen. I could refer to him as Edward in my head, but…

_But__ all he'll ever be to me… is my boss. _

Like a slap in the face, it occurred to me that no matter how friendly or casual we could become, he'd never see me as anything more than his employee. I stood there, staring at the watermelon, feeling stupid and naïve.

Recalling how he rejected that gorgeous blond at the club… _Heidi_, as well as Irina who were both strikingly beautiful and intelligent women, it was obvious that of course he'd turn _me_ down. What was I waiting for? For him to see me and suddenly disregard his own rules? I was more ignorant than I had thought.

Yes, I'd fooled him into being with me once, and yes, we'd had a great time – so much so that he wanted to meet with me again. But how could I? No matter how much I wanted to be with him again, the chance that he'd recognize me now was too great. I just couldn't risk it. My chest and throat became tight from emotion, my vision blurring with unshed tears.

I was sick and tired of feeling weak.

I just wanted to feel strong again.

Gripping the handle on the huge butcher's knife, I stabbed it down into the melon with more force than necessary. My heart was pounding as I worked the knife out of the large round fruit before stabbing it again… and then again. Releasing some of the anger felt good, but I was quickly overcome with misery once more as I knew that I'd never have Edward for a second time. As tears slipped from my eyes and ran down my cheeks, I didn't bother wiping them away.

Sobbing quietly, I realized that when it came down to it, I would always be Henry's nanny, and nothing more.

**-x-**

**Edward:**

"Choose another one Henry. We read that one last night," I told him, sitting on the end of his single bed. Henry turned around to face his bookshelves again, searching for another book to add to the two he'd already given me.

"Ummm… What about this one?" Henry asked, holding up the large book for me to see. His large, blue eyes searched my face for approval.

I smiled, nodding. "_The Big Red Bathtub_? Good choice." I patted the mattress and he beamed, giving me the book before jumping up onto his bed and settling under the covers. "Move over," I encouraged, lying down next to him. With my large feet hanging off the end of his little bed, I lay on top of his comforter and after placing my head on his pillow, I opened the first book and held it up so we could both see the pictures.

As I read, my mind kept wandering, and I recalled how quiet and distant Bella had been during dinner. She'd rarely looked at me, and when Henry refused to eat the risotto she'd made, she'd quietly taken her plate into the kitchen and stayed in there while making him chicken nuggets and fries. When Bella had returned, I'd asked her if everything was okay and she'd given me a sad smile and a nod. I hoped her despondent mood had nothing to do with what I'd told her about Cynthia and more that she was just tired or perhaps emotional due to her time of the month. She _did _buy tampons the other day…

After the last book was read, I kissed Henry's forehead and laughed when he vigorously rubbed my kiss away with the back of his hand. Going to his bedroom window, I grasped the curtains to draw them closed, but I paused when movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Looking down to the left, towards the pool, I froze, my hands fisting the heavy drapes. My breath caught in my throat and my heart began pounding wildly.

I could see...

Bella.

Swimming.

In a bikini.

_Fuck. _

I stood, trying to divert my eyes away from her bare, slim figure but found that every time I tried to move, my body resisted.

"Daddy?" Henry called a little anxiously.

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see him eyeing me nervously. I quickly closed the curtain. "What? Nothing. Nothing's wrong." After kissing his forehead again, I walked to the door. "Night. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight," he repeated, followed by a big yawn.

I smiled softly. "Night, buddy. Now go to sleep, huh?"

Closing his door quickly, I walked to my bedroom instead of going downstairs. From the window in my bedroom nook, I had an unobstructed view of the pool below and could sit there without being seen.

_Am I really going to spy on her?_

_Yes. Yes, I am._

With burning curiosity, I sat in the small chair by the window in the little study nook and gazed down to watch Bella swimming. It was just after seven-thirty in the evening so the low afternoon sun was shining straight into my eyes, causing me to squint in order to see her.

From this height and distance, I couldn't see her finer details, but I could make out her body shape and, damnit, she was _fine_. The fact that she had _that _figure concealed beneath the masculine clothes she wore all the time made me almost want to weep at the injustice of it. Women who knew how to accentuate their figure without looking like a tramp really impressed me. But there was something to be said for women like Bella. Those who had a smoking hot body yet chose to cover it instead of flaunt it. I couldn't help being a little amazed by her modesty.

When she approached the edge of the deep end, she twisted, confidently doing a swimmers somersault under water, and forcefully pushed off the wall with her feet. It caused her to glide underwater before rising to the surface to effortlessly freestyle to the shallower end. She was a very good swimmer. Her strokes were smooth, her legs powerfully kicking and her hands slicing into the water, propelling her forward. She was like a fish – no, a mermaid. And I watched… mesmerized.

Becoming hard.

I hadn't expected to be turned on by simply watching Bella swim, but I found there was something about her graceful movement, so confident, while the water caressed her creamy, soft skin. I wanted to be the water, to feel her skin under my fingers again. Remembering how smooth and silky it had felt last night while I cleaned her scraped up arm, I wondered if she was that soft all over.

I sat, watching her like some sick peeping tom, but when she abruptly stopped and looked at her watch, it snapped me from my daze. That's when I really noticed how aroused I was.

I wanted to take a shower in order to… relieve my ache, but I was like a statue, sitting lock still as I watched Bella quickly swim to the other end. Her hair was in a pony tail instead of its normal scraggly bun. It looked much longer than I thought it would as it trailed behind her, and I realized that I'd never seen Bella with her hair down. My breath caught in my throat as she stepped out of the pool. Even from this distance, I could see her good sized, perky breasts, her flat stomach and long, milky white legs.

_Fuck. Me._

Bella was… _beautiful_.

Her black bikini covered too much of her skin for my liking, but the dark color against her pale flesh… _shit._ The tempting curves, dips and hollows of her body had my eyes roaming over her in excitement.

She was covered within seconds.

Once she was out of the pool, she rushed to pick up her towel before turning her back to the house and quickly wrapping it around herself, making sure it was firmly up under her armpits.

I was surprised and relieved that Bella wasn't flaunting herself in front of me, because shit, now I _knew _she was incredibly tempting under her clothes. She pulled off the swimming goggles she had been wearing and slipped her glasses back on before turning around and hastily making her way inside.

Holding my breath, I couldn't deny that I was excited to have another fun night with her. I hoped Bella was up to watching some more television with me like last night, perhaps even a movie this time. I was desperate to ask whether or not she had a boyfriend, and I really wanted to find out tonight. Waiting for the right opening though would be tricky.

As I sat in the quiet nook, I adjusted myself in my jeans. My dick was painfully pressed against the zipper and it was pleading for attention. I didn't want to chance the floor creaking and alerting Bella that I was in my room spying on her, so I waited until I heard her bedroom door click closed before I moved.

Now sure she wouldn't hear me, I walked into the bathroom and turned on my shower, needing to tame the beast. I couldn't exactly sit next to her with a raging hard on, so I stripped off my clothes while I waited for the hot water to come through.

Stepping under the hot stream, I groaned at the welcomed pressure on my sore muscles. My shoulders were aching from the digging and lifting I'd done with Henry as we planted some of the bushes this afternoon. But on top of that, was the pain I'd been enduring since Tuesday morning from my boxing workout Monday night.

Another part of my body was aching and begging for a massage though, so I poured a small amount of conditioner into my right palm and grasped my dick. My eyes closed. Raising my left arm to brace myself against the wall took some effort as my arm felt sore and heavy, but I managed it. With no fear of being heard in here, I didn't quiet my heavy breathing as I began to pump myself. I tried to picture Marie as she usually made me come quickly, but all I saw was Bella, swimming in her bikini.

I wanted to punch myself.

What the hell was wrong with me? She was my nanny. Yes, I perved on her, but jacking off to images of her was a whole deeper level of depravity and I didn't want to be _that_ guy, _that_ boss. At all.

My efforts of trying to conjure up images of other women were futile and after a while, pain started radiating through my shoulder and down my arm, forcing me to stop. Breathing hard, I switched hands but after a few minutes I gave up; being uncoordinated with my left hand, it just felt weird. Leaning back against the cold tiles, I hissed from the freezing temperature shock to my hot skin. I slapped my palms against the wall and banged my head back in frustration.

"Fuck!"

Knowing there was only one thing I could do, I reached over and turned the tap to cold. Gritting my teeth against the vicious onslaught of what felt like icy needles, I stood there, gasping air and feeling my erection slowly shrink.

_So much for a relaxing shower. _

Once I'd dried off, I pulled on some loose gray sweat pants and a black T-shirt, noticing that Mrs. Cope had washed and ironed my clothes and had changed my bed sheets. I had yet to put my clothes away but that was the deal we'd arranged. She just couldn't place them the way I liked. Walking downstairs, sans footwear, I hoped Bella would come back down and talk. But when I heard the TV on in the den, I grinned.

_She _did _come back down._

Stopping in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, I felt both nervous and excited to talk with her after how I'd just seen her. My heart was pounding and my mouth went dry, I felt like I was sixteen again.

_What the fuck? I shouldn't be anxious to be in the same room as her! _

Bella seemed to make me feel at ease… but here I was, nervous about sitting with her? Why? She was also sweet, kind, caring and… _beautiful_.

Taking a deep breath and telling myself to be normal, I walked into the den and found her in the same spot as last night. As I stood inside the door, I noticed her hair was still damp but high in a messy bun and she had on a pair of large white flannel pajamas with cartoon cows on them. She looked a lot younger than twenty-two.

Her feet were up on the couch while she slumped against the armrest, and her fingers were slightly pushed into the hair above her ear as she supported her cheek in her palm. She looked the picture of ease.

"Hey," I greeted, my voice slightly higher than usual.

Bella turned her head slowly on her hand, and I held my breath as her eyes quickly took me in from my bare feet to my hair.

"Hey," she returned casually before looking back at the TV. I blinked, unsure why her nonchalant greeting left me feeling… disappointed.

Why wasn't she smiling? And more importantly, why did I _want_ her to get excited and smile at me? Did I _wan_t her to be interested in me?

_Yeah__. I think I do._

Confused with my train of thought, I walked behind the couch and took my usual seat at the other end.

She didn't look over.

"What are you watching?" I questioned, hoping to start the flow of easy conversation we'd shared earlier.

She shrugged, her eyes still on the TV. "Um… it's a documentary. On coral reefs."

Surprised she was into ocean stuff, I nodded, but her distant attitude from dinner remained. "Oh," was my lame reply. My fingers tapped against the armrest, and I sighed, looking at her and wanting her to turn and talk to me. We sat quietly until I couldn't handle her silence anymore.

"So… How was Mrs. Cope today? She didn't hassle you too much, did she?"

She didn't even move. "No."

"She tends to irk some people."

That earned me a humorless chuckle. "Yeah, I know."

Glad I evoked some reaction out of her, I was also shocked at her words. "You know her?"

Still not looking at me, she closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "Err… not really. I've met her a few times, though."

I turned a little to face her. "Really? When? How?" _Come on Bella, talk to me._

She shrugged. "Backyard barbeques…"

The fact that she hadn't taken her eyes off the television set was making me annoyed and slightly concerned.

"Bella? Is something wrong?" That got me a response. She turned her empty eyes to me and shook her head no. "Then what's with the one line answers?"

She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out through her nose, closing her eyes. "Sorry. I just… I've been thinking… remembering..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." Her bland tone held a hint of annoyance. She pushed her glasses up her nose and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Tell me."

"No."

I smirked at her insolent defiance. Finally, she was speaking to me honestly. However, she was still hiding… As much as I liked her frankness, I was desperate to know what had upset her, what was making her sad.

"If you don't tell me, I'll assume the worst, and…" I had nothing to threaten her with but I hoped my steely gaze was enough of a threat.

So I was using my authority as her boss to get her to talk to me… I never claimed to be a saint. "Please?"

Taking a deep breath, she shrugged and looked at the coffee table where my bare feet were resting. "I was just… remembering how I went out… _shopping,_ with my friend the other day," she said softly.

"Your friend, Annie? The one that came here yesterday?"

"Yeah. I was out with her, and I saw something that I… I _really_ wanted, but knew I couldn't have… I ended up trying it out – _on_… and it was great, I mean, better than I _ever _expected…" Bella shook her head slowly and sighed again. When she looked over at me, her usually vibrant eyes were sad and empty. I had a sudden desire to comfort her, because even a fool could see that she was in need of a hug.

"But," she continued. "I couldn't keep it. I had to give it back. I'm just… I really wanted it, that's all."

"What's with being so cryptic?" I asked, confused by her vagueness. "What's this 'something' that's so good?"

She smiled dejectedly, gazed at me for a long moment before she shrugged and looked back at the TV. "Shoes." Her tone became a little excited. "I tried on a pair of expensive shoes and for one moment in time…" She smiled, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. "God, I felt like… _Cinderella_. I guess I just miss that feeling."

"How much were they?" I inquired, not thinking she was one to want designer shoes. I'd only ever seen her in Converse, and I was sure she only had the one pair.

"It doesn't matter. They were _way _out of my range."

Frowning, I was even more confused. But I saw an opening to find out what I'd been dying to ask her all afternoon. Sitting there, I picked fluff off the armrest and tried to ignore my rapidly beating heart. _Just ask her_. Taking a deep breath, I turned my head towards her but couldn't raise my eyes to hers.

"Perhaps your…" I cleared my throat nervously. _"_Your… er…_ Boyfriend?_… could help you out?" _Yeah, that was smooth. _I hated that I sounded so insecure. "You know… maybe he could buy them for you, or… or go halves or something. He could give 'em to you as a birthday present, maybe?"

_Shit._ Now I was rambling. Since when did I ramble?

She turned her vacant eyes to me, and feeling the impulse to look at her, I did. The intensity of her gaze trapped me, and I couldn't look away. I stopped breathing. Bella's brows knitted together as she studied me, her gaze wandering all over my face, before lingering on my eyes. _Shit. _It was like she was looking right through me. The thought that she could somehow be able to see the depraved thoughts that I'd had of her earlier, as if my guilt was written all over my face, made my palms start sweating and my heart begin pounding.

"I don't have a boyfriend," she informed quietly, before she turned back to the television and flicked it over to MTV. Her next words were a low mumble, and I only just heard her. "I don't have anyone."

Although her last statement made me wonder what she meant, I was having a hard time keeping the grin off my face from her first revelation.

_She__'s single_…

My blood thrummed in my veins, and I felt my whole body sag with relief. It was a strange reaction. Why was I so relieved she wasn't seeing anyone? It wasn't like I wanted to have sex with her. Even though she was smoking hot under her pajamas, and I felt comfortable with her, it didn't mean I was willing to jeopardize every thing for the sake of getting some release.

Bella was my confidant… a friend, of sorts – now that I'd gotten to know what a great person she was. Besides, I only had _casual_ sex with women. Even if Bella _didn't_ work for me, I could tell that she was a relationship kind of girl. She deserved more than a night, and a night was all I was able to give.

_Why the hell am I even thinking about her like this?_

I had to remind myself that I was after Marie, not Bella. I really needed to get laid again. That's what it came down to. Having a woman in the house always messed with my mind, but I was finding it ridiculously worse this time because I could see similarities between Marie and Bella. It wasn't Bella's fault she was tempting to my insensitive dick, and a sweet girl. Of course she was desirable.

If only…

Bella sighed heavily, running her hand over her hair before adjusting her glasses. I didn't like seeing her miserable. I wanted to see her smile, hear her chuckle and laugh again. But how…?

"Have you ever smoked pot?" I asked her suddenly, earning a shocked, surprised look from her.

"Er…" Bella blinked fast, taken aback. "Um, yeah once. Have you?" She cocked her brow in curiosity. Pleased she didn't look as upset anymore, I smiled.

"Yeah. Once when I was in college. I threw up afterwards and vowed never to touch the stuff again." She chuckled quietly.

"What happened?" she asked, turning her shoulders so she was facing me a little more.

"It was at my first frat party," I told her, grinning. "And the guys were all chugging down beer. I was one of them, of course. Someone offered me a bong, and I thought, 'what the hell. You only live once, right?'" She nodded, and I groaned at the memory. "Anyway, so I sucked on it, took the smoke deep, and then I just started hurling all over this guy's sofa. Wasn't pretty."

Bella shook her head side to side and laughed again. I ended up telling her about all the stupid stuff Jasper and I got up to while living on campus – the pranks and the parties, the dares and the drinking. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Her laughter and amusement and the way she listened fueled me on and made me reluctant to stop. Her beautiful, melodic laughter was so addictive, I couldn't hear it enough.

Was it wrong that I didn't want to stop talking to her? That I liked having her attention and making her smile? That I really enjoyed making her laugh? That I liked her…

As the thought occurred to me, I realized that yeah, I _did_ like her. A lot. Much more than I should, considering… But there was no use in denying how I felt. Bella was amazing.

"Oh, God. Stop it," she pleaded, wiping tears from her eyes as she calmed down after laughing hysterically. I'd just told her the story about a Halloween party where I'd dressed up as a prostitute and Jasper went as my pimp. Shit, that had been a fun party.

"What? You've never dressed in drag?" I asked, raising my right arm to rest along the back of the sofa. As soon as I raised it though, a piercing pain shot through my shoulder and down my arm, making my fingers prickle with pins and needles. The sensation was more like the tip of knives stabbing my fingertips. I hissed as I sucked in a sharp breath while lowering my arm back to my lap, flexing my fingers to rid them of the stabbing feeling.

"What's wrong?" she questioned, sitting up straighter and narrowing her eyes, inspecting my arm for visual clues of why I was holding my breath in pain.

"Err… Nothing. It's just… an old injury that's flared up," I explained, hissing as I moved it. "I was hoping to see Emmett, my physiotherapist, yesterday – but he was fully booked."

"Emmett, as in… Uncle Emmie?" she asked.

"Yeah. I was in an accident a couple of years ago. That's how I met him."

She nodded, her brown eyes intense as she looked straight at me, then at my arm and back up again. It was clear she was struggling to make a decision, though what that could be I had no idea. When I saw the creases on her brow relax and her chin raise a little, I knew I was about to find out.

"_I_ could massage it for you," she offered, her voice quiet but with a hint of anxiety. "I know how to."

Dumbly staring at her, I was torn between pain relief, letting Bella touch me, and trusting her not to do more damage to it already. I'd had a few dodgy massages before.

"Um… thanks. But… It's an old injury, so… I don't know."

"If you don't want me to do a deep massage, I won't. I'll just work on the knots. Relax _you_… It's obvious you're in pain and the last family I worked for… Well, Rachael was a masseuse, as you probably know, and she taught me some techniques." She shrugged and looked back to the television. "But if you want to wait to see your friend, it's okay. I understand."

_Ugh!_

I turned and stared at the TV.

_What do I do?_

"So Rachael really taught you how to massage?" I asked again, cautiously.

"Well, she taught me the _basic_ techniques. But I've been told I give a mean massage." She smiled, and bit her lip before adjusting her glasses to sit on her nose better.

I knew Bella's previous boss had been a fantastic masseuse, so if she'd taught Bella… The idea of her getting the stiffness out of my neck and shoulder sounded too good to pass up. Even though I found myself drawn to her – in more ways than one – I'd just have to concentrate on not letting the stiffness her touch removed from my shoulders go to my dick. I could do that, right? I'd just pretend her hands were Emmett's or something.

Slowly turning to look at her, I swallowed, hard.

"All right."

* * *

Argh! What's going to happen next?

To all of you who requested Edward seeing _more_ of Bella… There you go! See? I _do_ listen, and I love hearing your suggestions!

I'm also on twitter: **Nyomixx** so come and say hi or ask me questions.

So, what is Bella thinking? Did you understand what Bella was _really _talking about in her cryptic conversation? Whose POV would you like next?

All reviewers will get a teaser!


	11. Massage

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie? **_No copyright infringement intended.

**-xxxx-**

**A/N:**

I have to say a massive thank you to my sister,** Belindella, **who helped me so much with this chapter that she deserves the title of co-author! Thank you so much sweetie, you're such an amazing help. I don't know what I would do without you! Please check out her emotion stirring stories. They're abundant with rich character growth and UST. There's _Forgettable_ and her more recent one _Poor Little Rich Girl_. They're both in my favorites so you can find them by going through my profile. Highly recommend them!

Also a big thank you goes to **Colleteg17 **and **Arwen01** for their brilliant pre-reading notes, and to my beta's **Lezlee **& **yellowjello113, **for their ongoing and awesome help with this story. Love you girls! *Big hugs*

I'm on Twitter: **Nyomixx** so come and say hi!

**Please Note:** to be able to receive your teaser, please make sure you've pressed 'Enabled' for Personal Messages on your profile. I encountered a few that had this function disabled so am sorry you didn't get a teaser. :)

A huge thank you to all of you who review! I was amazed with your comments from last chapter! Heaps of you loved peeping Edward and are thrilled that he's now admitted to liking her. Poor Bella hinted at her sad past and it was so lovely to hear your sympathy for her, and that you're keen to know more of her story.

So with all that in mind…

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Massage**

**Week One: Thursday night**

**Bella:**

"All right," Edward agreed, making my heart start hammering in my chest. I blinked, amazed that he just agreed to let me massage his sore shoulder. "But… just take it easy at first, okay? Just wait til I tell you to go harder."

_Go harder… _

God. His words sparked a memory flash of me, _Marie_, telling him to go "harder… faster" that night as he'd taken me from behind and…

I nodded and tried to keep my expression blank. I hoped I looked bored. "You're the boss, Boss," I stated. Because that's what I was reminding myself he was.

Who I was about to touch. Again.

_Oh, shit. _

My heart was thumping more quickly at the thought. I wanted to… I didn't want to… But I did.

For the past few hours we'd been sitting on the sofa in the den, me in my white flannel pajamas and him in a pair of loose track pants and a black T-shirt. He'd been telling me stories and making me laugh so hard, I'd had tears in my eyes. He continued to surprise me with his sense of humor, and I loved how easily he could crack me up.

I cleared my throat and tried not to imagine him shirtless. Or rather _remember_ him shirtless. "It would be better if… Do you have any lotion – I mean, _massage_ oil?" I rectified quickly. My cheeks tinged pink at the mental picture of him using lube when he was alone.

Edward snorted and rolled his eyes. I blushed harder and hoped he hadn't guessed where my thoughts had gone.

"I think I can find some. Hold on." He stood up and walked away.

As soon as he was out of the room, I closed my eyes and ran my hands over my face and hair. I could hear the kitchen cabinets and drawers opening and closing quickly.

Why the hell had I just offered to massage him? Sure, I knew that he was in pain, and I knew how to help, but shit, I was such an idiot. Why was I prepared to torture myself like that? I knew that once I had my hands on him, it would be so much harder to stop with just his _back_.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to think clearly. Edward _was_ undoubtedly hurting. He didneed my help. The way he'd winced earlier… he was obviously suffering and trying hard to not let me know how bad it really was.

It didn't matter if I knew he had a hard, muscled, chiseled body. So what if I loved his muscles? I could massage him without fondling or grabbing or… Yes. I _could_ do this. Hell, I'd been sitting with him for hours tonight _and _last night, not to mention living with him for days. If I could stop myself from jumping him all those other times – I could do this.

Recalling how he'd suggested my boyfriend could help me buy my "shoes," I shook my head at the irony. If only Edward knew that _he_ was the shoe, _he_ was what I wanted and couldn't have again.

"Here you go." Edward's voice startled me upright. He placed two mugs on the small coffee table in front of the sofa. I just stared at them in confusion and… surprise He'd made me a drink? _Me_? "As lame payment for your help," he explained gently, throwing a large hand towel and a bottle of baby oil on the seat cushion next to me. I smiled.

"Which cup is mine?"

He sat down on the couch, but this time he was a good foot closer to me. I hadn't even touched him yet and my stomach was in my throat at his closer proximity.

"Either. They're both the same."

"Is it tea?" I asked hopefully.

"Yep." He smiled and looked so proud of himself.

"Thanks." Could he have been any more thoughtful? I picked up the pretty yellow cup carefully and sipped it, humming to myself. Not only was the drink perfect, it had to be the best cup of tea I'd ever had. Of course, it had _everything_ to do with him making it for me. _But how did he…?_ Opening my eyes, I looked over at him. He was watching me intently. I quirked an eyebrow and he smiled. "How many sugars did you put in?"

He suddenly frowned and shifted in his seat. "Uh… One," he hesitantly answered. "That's right, isn't it?"

"But how did you know?" I asked, tilting my head to the side and narrowing my eyes playfully.

He smirked and leaned towards me. My breath hitched, and I held it, unable to move. The sight of his lopsided grin made my lower belly tingle in anticipation. "You're not the only one with exceptional observation skills, Bella," he quipped, his voice deep and creamy smooth. He chuckled and leaned back, taking a sip of his own drink.

I released the breath I'd been holding, only to drag in another one. "Touché," I admitted quietly, raising my cup to my lips. Little did he know just how _poor_ his observation skills truly were.

"By the way," he started, "I've been meaning to ask how your arm and back are doing. Are they healing okay?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, my arm's fine. A little itchy now, but…" I shrugged. "I'm much better."

He nodded. "And your back?"

My back. _Should I tell him to take another look?_ "Uh… It's okay," I sighed, trying not to sound too disappointed. The large bruise on my back was still very tender to touch and I still couldn't sleep on it, but I didn't think it was worth showing him.

Smiling, he appeared genuinely pleased at my news as he took a sip of his tea. "I'm glad to hear it."

Turning my head to smile back at him, I got trapped by the intensity of his eyes. For once, I didn't look away and neither did he. My pulse quickened as we stared at each other, and I swallowed. The strength of his gaze stunned me as I'd only seen him look at me with such focus once before – the night I had worn a red dress and blue contacts.

So why was he looking at me like that now?

Blinking quickly, I released myself from his hypnotic eyes and took another sip of hot tea, concentrating on a small dark stain on the rug. As I stared at the spot, I wondered what his look had meant. Was he seeing similarities between me and Marie? Was he piecing things together?

I was so glad he hadn't seen me swimming earlier. When I'd looked at my watch in the pool, I'd realized I'd been swimming way longer than I'd intended. It had just felt so good to forget about everything going on in my life and to purely focus on my breathing and movement through the water. When I'd walked inside, I practically ran up the stairs and to my room, grateful he was nowhere to be seen or heard.

Edward cleared his throat, making me look at him again. He seemed a little nervous. "Can I, er, ask you something?" he asked cautiously.

"Sure," I squeaked. _Please don't be about Marie_, I repeated like a mantra before he spoke.

He paused, studying me for a moment. I gulped. Bringing my tea to my lips, I took a sip, trying to seem nonchalant. "What did you mean… earlier, when you said you didn't _have anyone_?"

I blinked while releasing an inner sigh of relief, my hands lowering my cup to my lap. How could I _not_ tell him? He'd bravely told me about his daughter and all those stories about his past. He deserved for me to be as truthful with him as he had been with me. I was sure he'd understand, having lost a parent himself. He'd been let down, betrayed, and rejected before, too. Perhaps not by his parent's, but he knew the feeling.

The more I thought about telling him, the more I wanted to.

"I… I don't have any family. Actually in a way I do. I have my best friend who's like a sister to me, but that's it."

He frowned. "What about your father? You said the other night he lived in Port Angeles."

I sighed, having forgotten I'd told him that when he cleaned my scrapped up arm. "My dad… _does_ live in Port Angeles, but he's… he's not my family anymore. He… Crap, why can't I just say it?" I groaned, adjusting my glasses and running a hand over my hair before taking a deep breath. "I… left home after we had a really bad argument and he's never come after me. It's been _four_ years. I know he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, so… as much as I still love him, I know he doesn't…"

"He cut you off?" he guessed, surprise making his voice higher pitched.

"Yeah." I nodded, swallowing around the lump that was quickly forming in my throat. Four long, lonely years… God, I missed him.

"Have you tried to contact him?" Edward asked after a moment of silence. "I mean, maybe he's willing to –"

"No," I stated abruptly, interrupting his line of thought. I chuckled bitterly at the memory. "A few days after I left, he transferred a heap of money into my bank account. At first I thought it was his way of saying he was sorry, so I sent him a thank you note and told him to call me on my new cell number. But he never called… not _once_. It took me a while to see that the money was a payoff to make sure I'd never ask him for anything. So I've stayed away." I swallowed again and felt the tears pricking my eyes. I blinked quickly, not wanting to cry again tonight and kept my gaze on the cup in my lap. I'd shed my fair share of tears while I'd made dinner earlier, as I'd been depressed over not being able to be anything more than Edward's nanny.

Enough was enough. I took a deep, steadying breath in and let it out slowly, albeit shakily.

"Hey…" he soothed, raising his hand towards me but letting it fall to the couch. "It's okay if you can't talk about it. I know it's the little details that are harder to say."

I nodded, grateful for his patience and understanding. God, why was he so wonderful?

"I'm sorry," I apologized, hating that after all this time, I still got upset thinking about this part of my life. "I haven't… I'm not used to talking about him, because I just get so…"

"Angry?" he presumed, finishing my sentence.

"Emotional," I corrected. He nodded in understanding. "I still love him… _so_ much, but… I love the _old_ him. And I know that _that_ part… the part of him that loved me, is gone for good. So I can't go back there. Things were said that…" I shook my head and released a loud sigh. "His new wife didn't like me, and he… I know this make my dad sound bad, but ultimately, I blame _her_. _Not _my dad. He was fine until she came along. _We_ were fine. It was _her _that changed him."

"He and your mother aren't together?" He sipped from his mug before bringing it back to his lap.

I shook my head and took a tentative pull of my tea. "No. My mom disappeared when I was ten, almost eleven. My dad thinks she was murdered."

He let out a shocked breath and stared at me incredulously. "Oh, Bella," he announced, pity softening his eyes.

"It's okay," I reassured him, a small smile on my lips. "I believe with _all _my heart that she's still out there somewhere. I don't think she's dead like my dad does. She…" Talking about Mom was easier than talking about Dad, probably because so much time had passed since Mom had left. But I also wanted Edward to know that I understood the pain of losing someone you loved. "She never returned home from her shift at work one night. Her car was found in the hospital parking lot but they never found her body or any sign of foul play. The only other explanation for her disappearing is that she just… _left_, walked away, leaving everything, and every_one,_ behind." I couldn't keep the hint of sadness from my tone. I'd come to terms with Mom leaving me years ago, but saying it out loud only reaffirmed that I wasn't enough to make her stay. The familiar ache of rejection clawed at my insides and tightened my throat. I swallowed, not wanting to let that feeling take hold. "She's listed as a missing person, but we've never heard anything. Obviously."

"Does your friend, Annie, know about all this?" he asked about Angela, his eyes concerned.

I nodded, the ache in my throat easing considerably as the conversation turned to Angela. "Yeah. She knows everything. She picked me up from my dad's the day I left and drove me out here to live with her." My frown lessened as I remembered. "She let me crash on her couch for a while, before she set me up with her aunt and uncle to look after her little cousins. It was my first nanny job. I loved it."

Living with them was when I'd discovered that I could still be a part of a family… a family who had wantedme, needed me, and appreciated me. Even if it was only temporary, it lessened the hollowness of feeling worthless.

"So…" He frowned, concentrating. "You were eighteen when you last saw your father?"

"Mm-hmm. It was the summer I graduated high school." I finished my tea but held onto my mug, playing with the handle and running my fingers around the rim. I was amazed at how much easier it was to talk about, the longer we kept discussing it.

"Did you have a maid or a nanny or someone to help out around the house after your mother, er, _left_?" Edward raised his own mug to his lips.

"_No_." I snorted, a smile hinting at my lips. "We weren't poor, but we weren't… able to afford help. So a lot of it fell to me. Not that I minded. I liked looking after my dad and making him smile." I shrugged, not wanting to admit or dwell on how much I missed knowing that my father was proud of me. "I've been cooking and cleaning ever since. But working as a nanny, I also get to play with cute little kids all day. It's why I love it." I smiled, chuckling lightly. Edward laughed softly too while his eyes wandered over my face with wonder.

"I could never imagine going through all that. And you were only… _ten_ when your mother left?" he asked, frowning in disbelief.

"Yeah, but… My past is _nothing_ compared to some people's. There are a lot more who've had it worse than me. I was lucky in a lot of ways. At least I remember my mom loving me, before she left." It was those wonderful memories I had of her that made her choosing to abandon me even harder to understand.

He nodded slowly, his eyes flittering over my face.

"So… er… you still want me to give you a massage, or what?" I asked, changing the subject and half expecting him to tell me not to worry about the massage.

He smiled, raising his brow. "Are you sure that's okay? I wouldn't usually… But my shoulder _is_ killing me."

I nodded. "Of course it's okay. I wouldn't have offered if…." My voice tapered off. This was really happening. I was actually going to touch him again.

"Thanks. I truly appreciate it. So… how do you want me?" His lips twitched, and if I didn't know any better, I'd swear he enjoyed placing that little innuendo in there. My nether region certainly liked it.

"Uh…"

I honestly didn't know how I was going to do it. Should I ask him to lie on his stomach, so I could sit on his butt? He had such a cute, tight ass. I remembered squeezing it so many times the other night. I even recalled biting him. He was just too delicious. I hadn't been able to help myself.

But just thinking of me sitting on him, my girly parts so close to his… My mouth went dry. I'd probably start rubbing myself against him and…

Yeah. It was probably best if we were sitting. I prepared myself for him to sit on the floor so that his shoulders would be about level with my hips – perfect leverage for massaging.

Moving closer to the edge of the sofa, I put my empty cup of tea on the coffee table. I lay the hand towel he'd dropped beside me against the sofa edge, between my parted legs, to protect the cream fabric from oil stains. Reaching for the large square cushion from the middle of the sofa, I plonked it on the floor between my feet.

"Sit," I ordered with a smirk, looking up at Edward and enjoying the way his eyebrows rose in shock or… possibly amusement, it was hard to tell.

**-xxxx-**

**Edward: **

When she asked me to "sit," I felt like a dog. To be honest, I didn't like it, however I did like her mischievous smirk when she said it. I wondered if she and other employees had thought I sounded condescending when I had asked them to "sit" like that before.

Gently moving the table away a little, I shuffled towards her on my knees and sat on the cushion between her feet before slowly leaning back. My heart was pounding as I came to rest against the couch, _and _between her legs. I could feel her body warmth radiating against my back and arms as her thighs, knees and calves hesitantly relaxed against me.

Talk about getting her undivided attention. I couldn't help but feel how wrong this was. It felt too intimate being between my son's nanny's legs. Fuck, how I'd love to _really_ be between her thighs. Oh, yeah, my mind was losing it already. The closest I got to women were for one night stands. This was so wrong… So right. _Fuck_.

"Um… Shirt?" she asked quietly from behind me.

Taking another deep breath, I leaned forward and with my uninjured arm, reached my hand behind my neck**,** fisted my collar and raised my shoulders. In one smooth move, I pulled my T-shirt off over my head, and held it bunched in my lap. My breathing immediately deepened while I sat on the floor with my back resting against the couch, half naked, encased between Bella's soft, warm thighs as she sat behind me.

"Relax," she prompted, her voice slightly quivering. She seemed as nervous as me, and I wondered if she was talking to me or herself. She was clearly a little apprehensive about this new, physical boundary that we were dancing on, and I was pleased I wasn't the only one feeling cautious.

I heard the click of a lid, and she passed me the bottle of massage oil. I put in on the table next to me and a moment later, her slippery warm hands were on me, spreading the oil over my shoulders, and my God it felt so good. Relaxing even more, I sighed and felt my muscles get heavy. The relief and bliss she was creating with her tender strokes was unbelievable. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel. Her small hands glided over my shoulders, the tops of my blades and the back of my neck, making my skin tingle in pleasure.

Quickly adding "can massage like a pro" to the mental list of Bella's talents, I was once again awed by her. She was incredible. I hadn't eaten so well, had my house as tidy or a son so happy in… _ever_. Never had I had _all_ those things at _same_ time under my roof. Not to mention how happy she'd been able to make _me_ feel lately. The cheerfulness that she'd brought to my home, the way Henry always seemed so content and…

And then there was her smile. I simply couldn't get enough of seeing her smile. The way her face would light up, even when she'd laugh at one of Henry's silly jokes, her expression radiated joy and made me feel happier just from looking at her.

And now there was this new information of how forgiving she was. I'd been so impressed when she said that she still loved her father, even though he'd basically washed his hands of her. How many people could do that? I knew there was more to her story, but even from what she'd told me, I could see that she'd been through a lot. Yet it was clear from the way her lips had turned up in the corners, that she still loved him. How forgiving could one woman be?

I winced when Bella pressed a little too hard on the knot she was working on.

"Sorry," she breathed, kneading my muscle more gently.

"S'okay," I mumbled, not wanting her to stop. "You're good." It was a huge understatement. For an amateur, Bella showed real skill. It was a shame my dirty mind started imagining her little, soft hands massaging me more… _sensually_ than she actually was. If only I'd been able to jack off before this.

"Er… Thanks." Her tone was quiet and doubtful.

"I mean it. It feels amazing," I confessed, slightly slurring through my dazed state, my eyes unwilling to open for fear I was dreaming. Bella felt _too_ amazing. Mmm, her thighs against the tops of my arms felt amazing as well. So fucking soft.

She chuckled softly but didn't reply, only continued rubbing her hands against me. Once the knot in my shoulder was thoroughly worked, her fingers slowly moved to massage my neck. Sighing, I let my head relax until it felt ridiculously heavy. I had to fight the urge not to just let it flop around as her fingers and thumbs skillfully pushed and kneaded up and down my neck. I noticed that she didn't press my actual vertebrae, which I remembered Emmett saying lots of people did – but shouldn't – so I relaxed even more, confident she knew what she was doing.

"Do you…? How'd you hurt yourself anyway?" she asked softly while she continued to massage. "You said you had an accident?"

I cleared my throat and shifted my ass around nervously, as the memory of the crash came back.

"Uh, yeah, I was in a car accident."

"Was it bad? I mean… how'd it happen?"

I sighed at her questions. Although I didn't like talking about the accident, I was pleased that Bella felt comfortable enough to ask about it. She rarely asked me questions, especially personal ones, so I took a deep breath and stumbled over how to answer her. I also told myself that it would be good to talk and think of something other than wanting her hands on another muscle that was starting to need attention. God, I was such a dirty old man.

"I er, yeah… it was pretty bad." I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "Another car ran into us, side on, and that's how I tore my trapezius, er, _shoulder_ muscle."

She sucked in a breath. "You tore it? Ouch. That must have really hurt."

"Yeah, it still does. Though it generally only flares up if I over do it."

I didn't care if I was going to hurt myself Monday night, when I took my shit out on the punching bag for hours. I'd been pissed at Rose and the past, and… Needless to say, I regretted aggravating my shoulder now_. _

"Was anybody else hurt in the accident?" she asked quietly, the only other noise in the small room was the music from MTV.

However, my mind was instantly flooded with images of the car on fire, the rain that was on the road, the bright street lights, the sound of my crying and the blood… I'd never forget the blood on my hands.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to pry," she apologized quietly.

I shook my head no, realizing I'd drifted off for longer than I thought. "It's okay, I just…" I ran my left hand through my hair again. "Yeah, we were all hurt… to a degree. But my friend, Seth, he… he died."

She stopped her hands, mid movement. "Oh. I'm sorry–"

"It's okay." I waved her off and swallowed. Bella returned her attention back to my shoulder, and I took a deep breath. "You know Irina?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah. Of course." She seemed confused by my sudden change in direction.

"She's his sister."

"Oh! Oh. So… You've known her for awhile?"

"Yeah. About two years. I met Seth out clubbing one night, back when I used to go out all the time, and we became good buddies – mostly _drinking_ buddies. I'd gotten to know Irina when she'd come out too, and we'd play pool in the local bar before we'd go out clubbing some nights. After Seth died, and she finished her music degree, I asked her to be Henry's piano teacher and recommended her to a few other people."

"Oh. So… Have you… and her…?" Bella uttered tentatively. She didn't need to finish for me to know what she was asking.

"No."

I _had _considered dating her, before Seth died, because Irina was certainly hot, and eager, but she could also be annoying as hell. However, I still liked looking out for her, helping her because her own brother wasn't able to anymore. Seth would like knowing that she was okay.

I knew Irina liked me though. I'd turned her down countless times, telling her how I only saw her like a sister, but she'd start crying and beg me to hold her, saying how much she missed Seth. For the first year or so, I'd fallen for it every time, but now I was starting to think that she was trying to get close to me, using Seth's death as a form of connection to me rather than feeling actual grief for her brother during those times.

"Do you mind…?" Bella asked, "How'd Seth…? What happened?"

Knowing that Bella had been through so much in her own life, and still found it difficult to talk about, I knew she'd understand how huge it was for me to answer her question.

"Uh… It was about two years ago," I stated, staring at the rug between my feet but only seeing the scene of that night. "We'd both been out clubbing, so of course we'd been drinking. We were heading back to his place for the night. I hadn't been to his house before, and Seth, the idiot, insisted on driving, even though I told him we should take a cab. He convinced me that he lived just down the road and we'd be fine. I should have dragged his drunken ass into a cab." I paused and was grateful that Bella gave me some time to swallow the growing lump in my throat. "His house was a lot further than he said it was, and we, uh, neither of us saw the stop sign or the other car until it was… too late." I had to stop. My throat tightened so much I couldn't speak without revealing that I was upset. I held my breath and swallowed repeatedly, blinking the water from my eyes.

There were so many things I should have done differently that night.

"Hey, relax…" Bella whispered, squeezing my shoulders a couple of times. "You're all tense again."

Sighing, I concentrated on her touch, how she moved her hands, the rhythm she used, and let my muscles feel weak and heavy, while pushing the car accident to the back of my mind.

"Much better," she praised.

After a while, her fingers fell into a tempo that felt incredible. As she tried to work the tightness out by rubbing and kneading the knots, I groaned. It was like pleasure and pain in one, and I couldn't hold my appreciation back. Her legs tensed, squeezing into me for a fleeting moment before she pulled them further apart so they weren't touching me at all.

I blinked rapidly, wanting her legs flush against me again.

She cleared her throat. "Um… Can I press harder now?" she inquired, stilling her hands on me for a moment.

"Mmm," I moaned my consent, near desperate to keep feeling her hands moving on my skin.

She began again, but her strokes were now longer, firmer, her thumbs moving along the flow of muscle in my shoulder going deeper, harder. It was mind blowing. As her hands worked on my trapezius muscle, I could hear her lips smacking as she wet them, her breathing getting heavier and her little grunts as she applied more pressure.

Thinking about her mouth brought a memory of her to mind and once it was there, it kept replaying over and over. It was the image of her licking her strawberry ice-cream that she'd had for dessert her first night here. The way her pink tongue had licked and sucked, how she'd put the whole mound of ice cream in her mouth, her lips wrapping around the edge of the cone, before slowly withdrawing it, pulling her lips over the ice cream, leaving streaked marks in her wake. How she'd looked at me through the tops of her glasses, through her long eyelashes while she licked her lips clean of ice-cream.

I remembered thinking her so plain that night, but now, _now_ I could only see how beautiful she truly was.

My cock started to stir in response with the memory, and I instantly had a thought about wanting her to tend to _that_ muscle as well.

Her fingers swept over another knot, and I moaned, unable to hold it in any longer. Immediately, I felt her legs squeeze into my arms again. But before she could pull them away, I lifted my arms and draped them over her thighs, bringing her slim legs flush against my sides. Her radiating body heat instantly warmed my skin, and I released a contented sigh, enjoying the feel of her being closer.

Her hands squeezed the tops of my shoulders, though it took me a moment to realize she wasn't moving them and it hurt a little.

I blinked and looked at her knees under my arm pits. Unable to come out and say that for some inexplicable reason, it just felt better like this, I bull-shitted an excuse.

"I uh, I thought it would be easier for you to, you know, get to my shoulders this way. Is this okay?" I probably shouldn't have brought her closer, but it just felt… better.

"Mm-hmm."

Thankfully she didn't call me out on how absurd my logic was but resumed massaging me, and I relaxed under her touch again. Occasionally, with the motion she was causing on my body, my limp and dangly arms would sway, causing my fingertips to brush against the satiny smooth skin of her ankle, just below the hem of her pants.

I really liked it when she made me do that, and ever so subtly, I tried to feel more of her ankle, for longer. She never said anything, so I assumed she didn't mind and thought it accidental due to the position we were sitting in.

My skin was humming with a tingling feeling I'd never felt when getting a massage from _Emmett_. It was almost like a quivering sensation under my skin, similar to the physio machine Emmett used that generated different electrical pulses. He would sometimes hook me up to it to relax my tight muscles but this was so much better.

The image of Emmett placing the little electrical sticky pads on my bare skin instantly reminded me of the heart machine that the EMT's hooked Seth up to that night, trying to jolt his heart into beating again. I had stood in the pouring rain at the back of the ambulance and watched, completely helpless, bleeding, crying…

"_Relax…_ You've tensed up again," Bella stated softly, taking her hands off me. Concentrating on relaxing my muscles, I was surprised when I realized how tense I _had _become. I felt and heard her wiping her hands against her thighs and on her pajama top and I wondered why she was doing that. Surely she knew she'd be wiping oil onto her clothes.

"This will help…" she breathed, just as her hands ascended into my hair. She started scratching, pressing and kneading my scalp with her fingertips, and then gently tugging my hair, applying the perfect pressure.

_Uhhhng! _ My eyes rolled back into my head.

It felt so damn good, all I could concentrate on were her hands and how she was making me feel like I was floating, how she made me forget. Groaning, it was by far, the best head massage I'd ever had. My breathing deepened, making my chest rise and fall rapidly. In some dark corner of my mind a voice was shouting, telling me to make her stop, but it was drowned out by the hardening of my cock, the way the massage felt as stimulating as foreplay. However, the stiffer I became, the more I realized I needed to reposition myself. I was a little bent.

Very quickly, I unhooked my arm from around one of her legs and adjusted myself, over top of my pants, before returning my arm to its sweet position over her leg. Bella's hands never faulted, so I assumed she didn't pick up on what I'd just done or that her touch was exciting me. I was so grateful that I wasn't wearing jeans. There was no way I would have been comfortable if I wasn't in loose track pants.

I couldn't help wondering what else Bella was good at. She was fantastic in so many ways. I simply couldn't deny my growing attraction to her. She was completely amazing. I'd never met another woman with her sweetness, strength and varied interests before. He'll, I'd never been so drawn to another woman like I was to Bella before – both to her body _and _her personality.

Bella scratched and massaged my head with both her hands, and I couldn't help but think of the recent image of her swimming in that little black bikini. So much of her slim, toned body was there for my eyes to feast on as she had glided so gracefully through the water. It caressed her creamy skin the way I wanted my hands to… All over. God, she'd looked beautiful. The dark, teeny bikini, contrasting against her pale, delicate flesh had made her skin appear to be almost glimmering in the low light of the setting sun. That same body was right behind me, and her hands were on me, making me feel… Every time I moaned, she weaved her fingers through my hair and tugged a little harder. _Oh yeah…._

_If she can make me feel this good from a massage…_

Being horny as hell for several days, not being able to bring myself to orgasm earlier, seeing Bella's hot body in a bikini, seeing her touch my car, feeling her hands on me, knowing how much I liked her – It all left me desperate for action, and... Groaning again, I had an overwhelming desire to twist around and kiss her, to ravage her, to claim her.

Shocked with the forcefulness of my desire, I sat stunned, slipping between confusion and lust. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted her, and yet…

My breathing was out of control, and I didn't bother to try and calm it. My chest rose and fell rapidly with every panting breath. I could hear Bella's heavy breathing behind me, but I was aware from my experience with Emmett that it took some effort to give a massage. I knew her labored breaths weren't from arousal like mine, but rather exertion. Nevertheless, the sound of her made me want her more, made me want her breathing that way from the pleasure of having me inside her. How would she look splayed beneath me… writhing in ecstasy? Fuck, I was so hard.

Her hands, which had to be getting tired by now, began to lightly sweep from my neck, out to the tips of my shoulders where she rubbed her palms over the joint before going back to my neck again. It felt even more pleasant than before, and my dick certainly liked it, too.

It was hardly a massage considering how much Bella's touch had lightened, but it was still _very _relaxing.

And arousing.

I really hoped my shoulder wouldn't fight me later when I went to have another shower, because shit, I needed to rub this fucker out, desperately.

Swallowing noisily, my eyes still closed, I tried not to read too much into it when I felt her hands begin to go further down my arms with every pass, lightly stroking my biceps and even going as far as my elbows. This was feeling more and more sensuous, making my cock seep with need. God, _I_ was ready to _weep_ with need.

Bella's hands swept over the front of my bare chest, grazing my collar bones before curving back up and along my shoulders. Her fingers moved across my shoulders before sliding a little further down my chest, brushing the tops of my pecs. I released a slow, breathy moan because, fuck she felt so good. I wanted her to go further. _Lower._

But what I desperately wanted was for Bella to want me too.

On the next pass, her hands slid down my chest, slowly over my pecs, making my chest rise with a deep breath, her fingers spreading wide as she caressed my bare skin, down to my ribs. She held still, her hands paused on my body as her own chest pressed into me from behind with her face just to the left side of mine. I could feel her firm tits against me and her warm, heavy breaths ghosting over the flesh of my shoulder, and I now realized she _wasn't_ breathing from exertion…

_Oh, fuck yeah._

God, I _had_ to touch her.

Lifting my hands, I rested one on top of hers, holding her palm to my skin, feeling how small and warm she was under my large hand. She could feel the rapid rising and falling of my chest, and I wanted her to – I needed her to know how much I wanted her. Turning my face to the side, I watched with heavy lidded eyes as I reached my left arm up to her sweet face and brushed the backs of my fingers along the soft skin of her jaw. She seemed so… delicate. Moving my hand around to cup the side of her pretty face, I tenderly stroked my thumb over her supple, flushed cheek. Bella released a shuddering breath as she leaned into my palm, closing her eyes. That one simple gesture made me want to look after her, to make her feel good. I wanted to treasure and pleasure her like no one else.

Turning my head more towards her, our mouths were so close that I breathed in her luscious scent. It was like a warm summer breeze, wafting through a lemon orchard, and sweet like her tea. She held still, her eyes remaining closed as her hands on me started to move tenderly, massaging over my ribs in a way that felt anything but therapeutic. I inched my face forward a fraction, closing the distance and nuzzled my nose at the side of her jaw, up to the spot behind her ear. God, she smelled so good… felt so soft.

With my hand that was against her hot cheek, I pulled her even closer, reverently pressing a chaste kiss under her ear. A tiny, barely audible squeak sounded from her, propelling my lust forward. I gasped at the intensity of my passionate feelings and opened my mouth to consume the milky skin of her neck. Sucking lightly, I could feel her rapidly beating pulse beneath my lips and heard her breathing deepen as her fingers clutched at my bare chest, almost harshly while she squirmed behind me.

"Edward," she whispered, the sound of my name on her lips fueling my need for her even further.

"I need to kiss you, so fucking badly," I confessed in a hoarse, barely recognizable voice. God, I was so hard for her.

"Mm," Bella agreed in a tiny whimper, as if she was trying not to make any noise at all. She slid the hand on my chest out from under mine and ran it up my neck, threading her fingers through my hair, repeating the same torturously pleasurable massage of my scalp as before and encouraging me. God that felt fantastic.

I skimmed my nose along her warm cheek, and she finally turned towards me so I gently ghosted my nose over hers. Her lids opened and as soon as our eyes met, we held each other's gaze. I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the desire I found in her chocolate pools, letting me know that I certainly wasn't alone in wanting this. I also wanted her damn glasses off so that I could see more of those intense brown depths as well as her pretty face without obstruction.

We drank in each other's breaths and desires as our chests heaved with our eyes staying connected. Desperate to feel her lips on mine, I closed the small distance between us, brushing my lips against hers. They were so soft, so plump, and almost… familiar.

She whimpered a tiny bit, all high pitched and needy, and I almost came at the erotic sound. Turning my head to the side to deepen the kiss, my cheek bumped the side of her fucking glasses. I pulled back a little and shifted my hands to either side of the frames to remove them.

She blinked quickly before suddenly lurching backwards away from my fingers at her face. "Um… Um… We shouldn't…" she stammered quietly. "This is a… a mistake,"

I blinked, almost as fast as she had.

The enormity of the situation hit me like a punch in the gut from a wrecking ball, and I groaned, hunching forward and throwing my head in my hands.

"Oh fuck. You're right." My confession was made weakly to the floor. "I should have known better," I whispered to myself. Bella gasped sharply and quickly pulled her legs from either side of me and moved to the other end of the sofa.

What the fuck had I been thinking? I never got involved with employees. I knew better than that. _Fuck!_ I shouldn't have let her touch me in the first place. Having her sweet little hands on me, it had made me disregard all the boundaries, all the rules of not letting myself get into a position to be possibly sued.

As much as I trusted and honestly didn't think Bella would be a woman to sue me afterwards, I still wasn't a hundred percent sure. I _wanted_ Bella, and as much as I craved her company… I had to get it through _both_ my heads that she was off limits.

_That's if she stays. _

_Fuck!_ Henry would be so upset… no, more than upset. He'd be distraught, hysterical even, if Bella was to disappear from his life. Not to mention Rose, who would probably hack off my balls with a pair of rusty shears.

And _I _didn't want Bella to go, either.

"I hope you're not going to leave because of this." My voice sounded much more strangled and harsh than normal. My dick was pulsing, sobbing because we'd stopped. My mouth had gone dry with guilt and worry, and my stomach churned at the thought of her packing her bags and walking out. So many fucking things assaulted my mind at once. "How 'bout we just forget about this… pretend it never happened?" I asked, hoping I could salvage this fucking disaster before the shit hit the fan.

Bella stood and stepped away from the couch, away from me, and walked towards the door, avoiding my eyes. I sucked in a ragged breath as I realized she was leaving us for good. I looked up as she stopped halfway, not knowing what I expected her to say but fearing the words that would only confirm her going.

"I'll stay. For Henry," she mumbled, her voice cracking with emotion, before she scurried out the door.

I sat on the floor, a crumpled man with an inappropriate, raging hard-on. Frozen from both relief at her staying and distress as to what would happen tomorrow, I listened to Bella's feet run up the stairs and to her room, her door quietly clicking closed.

What the fuck was I going to say to her in the morning?

* * *

*hides under desk and slowly peeks out*

So what did you think? Bella's troubled past with Charlie and her missing mother, Edward's traumatic history with Irina, and Edward's escalating attraction to Bella...

I'd love to hear your thoughts as always! :D

Plus you'll get a sneak peak of what's to come if you review!


	12. Never Forget

**A/N: I've been unwell the last few weeks and would like to say a huge thank you to those of you that wished me well and for your kind concern. I received many DM's, reviews and tweets, asking when I'd be updating next, and it was great to see such enthusiasm for this story. So, I hope you enjoy this update!**

**Also, if you were recommended to read this story, please let me know who or where you learned about it, so I can send them a big thank you kiss! Cheers! xx**

**A massive hug and kiss goes to my fabulous pre-readers; **Belindella**,** Colleteg17** and **Arwen01**, for their valuable time and effort as well as their many suggestions. Thanks also to my beta's **Lezlee** & **yellowjello113** for their dedicated help and awesome editing skills. And I can't forget **devilsgenie**, my awesome validation beta!**

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie? **_No copyright infringement intended.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: ****Never Forget**

**Week One: Thursday night:**

**Bella:**

"_How 'bout we just forget about this… pretend it never happened?"_

I could _never_ forget.

I hadn't truly regretted sleeping with him until tonight. If I'd ever suspected that there was a chance, no matter how slim, that Edward Cullen would want me for who I really was, then I would never have slept with him as Marie. But I had. I'd misled him, and now that I'd heard and seen his desire for _me_, I couldn't risk taking it further with him unless I told him about me – about Marie – confessing to my deception.

I knew that couldn't happen any time soon, at least not until Rose returned from Switzerland and I could find another job, another family to accept me. The thought of starting a new nannying job with a new family wouldn't be so bad if the payoff was getting to keep Edward.

However, I didn't want to have to leave Rose and Henry either. Rose was like a big sister to me. Well, what I imagined having an older sister would be like. We laughed and joked, were easy going with each other and she helped me out when she could see I was tired. I knew she was a great boss, one of the best I'd ever had, and I didn't want to have to leave her for someone who may not be so… welcoming.

Perhaps it was time for me to enroll in college. At least then, I wouldn't be working for him or Rose anymore and I could still see them all.

Maybe then, Edward would want to date me.

**-xxx-**

My hands trembled with nerves as I sipped my morning cup of hot tea, staring blankly out the kitchen window. It was a drizzly, miserable day outside, and my stomach churned at the million scenarios of what could happen when I saw Edward this morning. The countless possibilities swirled inside my head, making me dizzy and nauseous with their individual bad outcomes.

I didn't expect him to walk into the kitchen singing about rainbows and sunshine, but would he be angry at himself for crossing the line last night? What if he was aloof and didn't want to even look at me? I was still mad at him for saying that he should have known better and to forget about it. But since getting to know him more deeply, I knew how seriously he took his responsibilities as a boss, so I could understand on some level why he regretted it.

Raising the mug to my lips, I swallowed a sip in an effort to drench my dry mouth, telling myself for the millionth time to relax.

Since I hadn't wanted to make breakfast, I'd decided to go buy it instead. I'd badly needed a break from the house and to get away from my oppressive thoughts, so I'd jumped at the opportunity to get out and go for a drive.

The short car trip into the little island town hadn't taken that long, and the refreshing scenery and crisp morning air helped lift my spirits. Unfortunately, the return drive back to the house had seemed like it had taken all of two seconds. I'd told myself that I had to try and repair things with Edward, to be mature and take responsibility for what I'd done – not to run from my problems.

As I'd sat in the car, psyching myself up to walk back into the house, I knew I needed to be strong, to stand up and face him. Even though he was still my boss, I believed we knew each other well enough for me to speak my mind. We'd shared things about ourselves, not just airy-fairy things, but the stories that still throbbed and ached painfully within us. Neither of us could ignore the fact that the other now knew the vulnerable side of us, no matter how awkward things were going to be now.

As I'd walked back into the house, I'd known I was doing the right thing. I'd run from my problems in the past, with Dad, and I regretted not staying to work it out every day since. It would have been agonizing to stay in Dad's house with that bitch, but if I had, and things had improved, then I'd possibly have my father today instead of being alone. It was a massive "if only I'd…" that continued to torment me.

I shook my head **softly** to clear my thoughts and poured my tea into the sink, placing the mug upside down on the draining board.

"Rrraaaaaaaahhh!" A loud roar sounded behind me as small hands shoved my hips forward into the counter.

I spun. A sharp squeak of surprise came from my throat. With my hand on my chest, I looked down to see a very pleased Henry beaming at me.

A smile broke out on my face at the sight of his mischievous grin.

"Oooooh! You sneaky little rascal!" I grabbed him and started tickling him. He squirmed, wriggling in my arms, laughing and screaming but his high pitched squealing assured me he loved it. This was _his _little game after all – scare Bella and get tickled.

We both buckled down to the floor, and I continued to tickle him as he lay sideways across my lap. With my peripheral vision and senses, I couldn't detect Edward around, so I relaxed and laughed along with Henry. His giggling was infectious, and for a brief blissful time, I forgot all about my anxiety with his father.

"Stop! Stop it!" Henry pleaded while laughing more. "Stop!" I relaxed my fingers on his belly, letting us both catch our breaths. Panting as he lay in my lap, he gazed up at me while smiling from ear to ear. "More?" he asked after a moment, starting to giggle in anticipation of another round.

"_More_?" I asked, my eyes going wide. He nodded, but tried to cover his stomach with his hands. "_More_?" I tried to remove his hands to get to his belly, causing him to squeal in delight. "You want _more_? You got it, mister!" Laughing along with him, I pulled up his shirt. "Is this a belly I see?" He shook his head no, trying with all his might to pull his shirt back down and cover his bare stomach, but my fingers were faster. "Oooooh! I think it is!" He squealed so loud it hurt my ears.

"Nooooooo!" He screamed, flaying his legs and laughing until his face turned red. I stopped, letting him catch his breath and chuckled at how exhausted he now was.

After pulling him up to sit in my lap, I wrapped my arms around him and held him to my chest in a tight hug.

My smile faltered as I got the feeling I was being watched. I raised my eyes and met Edward's twinkling gaze. His happy expression wavered the moment our gazes locked. He stood behind the far end of the island counter, like he was hiding. He loudly cleared his throat, his attention fixed on the fruit bowl on the countertop. His nervous demeanor engulfed us all in an uneasy, awkward silence.

After helping Henry to his feet, I dragged myself up from the floor while pushing my glasses up my nose with one finger. Once I was standing, I brushed my jeans off and straightened my plaid flannel shirt. I tried to ignore the heavy pounding of my heart while nervousness rolled coldly in my stomach. The lighthearted and cheerful atmosphere became so heavy and tense, it was oppressive.

"Uhh… g–g'morning, Bella," Edward stammered. He picked an apple from the fruit bowl and examined it in his hands, preferring to look at it instead of me. I could tell he was unsure of how to deal with our new situation as well.

But, I wanted to see into his clear green pools to get an idea as to what he was thinking. My Granny Mabel used to always say that people's eyes were the windows to their souls. Was he avoiding eye contact with me because we'd overstepped our working relationship last night and he regretted it? Or was it because I was just an uneducated nanny?

Swallowing again, I wished for a drink of water to moisten my dry throat. "Er, morning."

Feeling small and vulnerable in Edward's presence, I wrapped my arms around Henry and pulled him to my side in a hug. He circled his arms around my hips to hug me as well, and I sighed with appreciation at the strength he gave me to face his father.

"Err… I heard you drive out early this morning," Edward stated.

He looked up at me, and I could make out worry brimming in his eyes. I assumed he was mystified about where I'd gone before the sun had risen and that was his way of asking. Perhaps he'd thought I'd been sneaking out, leaving them for good under the cover of darkness. There was no way I could run out on the little boy who had his arms around me. No freaking way.

I was not like my mother.

"I meant what I said last night," I declared, my voice firm and sure as I stared at him, daring him to challenge my resolve. How could he think I'd abandon Henry so easily?

Edward cast his gaze down again, and I swore his shoulders relaxed a little.

Sighing, I thought it best to tell him why I'd left. "I drove to town and bought bagels for breakfast."

"Oh." He nodded, keeping his face blank. "Well that was…" He trailed off when he lifted his gaze to meet mine again. We stood there staring at one another for a long, tense moment. The array of feelings flickering through his turbulent, stormy green eyes belied his confident exterior.

"Well I've got to go," he stated to Henry, shocking both his son and me. "Unfortunately, I have to start work early today." He flicked his eyes to me, and I cast my gaze down, not believing his excuse for a second. He was only leaving because he was avoiding me.

"But… but…" Henry was puzzled. "But we haven't had breakfast yet," he complained, letting go of me and walking to his father. I felt the loss of his warm embrace, but I squared my shoulders, trying to put on a brave front, not wanting Edward to see that I was hurt by him.

Edward smiled at Henry, but his eyes didn't twinkle. "I'm sorry, son. I need to get to the office early today."

"Uuhhhh!" Henry whined, voicing the disappointment that was clear on his face. "But _Daddy_…!" Henry may not have been able to tell the time, but every day I'd been here, Edward had always left _after_ breakfast, so Henry's confusion was understandable.

Edward bent at the waist and kissed the top of his son's blond head. "Be a good boy for Bella. Okay?"

Henry pouted. "No! I want you to stay!"

"No. I can't."

I knew where this was going.

"Yes!"

"Henry. _No._"

"YES!" Henry shouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Edward sighed with exasperation and ran his hand through his hair. "I'll bring you back a treat."

I rolled my eyes.

"Promise?" Henry smiled in triumph.

Edward relaxed. "I promise."

"Okay." Henry nodded, scratching his nose.

"Good boy," Edward praised, patting him on the head. Without glancing at me, Edward turned and strode away, disappearing into the panty where he usually left through the side door.

"Come on, Henry," I encouraged, trying to gather my cheerfulness now that the tense atmosphere had followed his father out the door. "Which bagel do you want?" I grabbed the brown paper bag and started to place the assorted bagels on a plate. Henry turned and ambled over to stand next to me, eyeing the food. They all looked delicious, but I knew I wouldn't be able to eat this morning as my stomach was still painfully twisted in knots. "You can pick whichever one you want."

Henry examined them all, licking his lips. "Ummmmmm."

"Bye, Henry," Edward called, making us both jump in shock at his voice. "I'll see you this afternoon, Okay?"

My eyes roamed over Edward, confused. I thought he'd left. Hadn't I heard the door close? I was sure I had. He was standing in the pantry entrance, leaning against the kitchen counter. He still held his keys and briefcase in one hand but there was a sparkling of watery mist in his hair – a sign that he'd been outside in the drizzle and returned.

Henry ran to him, embracing his father's leg in a fierce hug. He no doubt assumed that Edward had changed his mind and he was thrilled his father was going to stay for breakfast after all.

Edward held his son to him with a broad hand to the back of his little head. "I uh, I realized I forgot to say goodbye to you." He spoke to Henry, stroking his hair. "And I… I wanted to remind you that, er, your Uncle Emmie… is coming with pizza for dinner tonight and staying to watch the game with us. Remember?"

Edward's gaze rose to meet mine, and I bit my lip, having forgotten all about his friend coming over. I assumed that it meant I got the night off cooking if his friend was bringing dinner.

"You have a good day, okay?" Edward asked, looking down at Henry again who nodded and released his father's leg. "I'll see you later." Edward's hesitant eyes rose to mine. "Um… See you later, Bella." His voice was much higher than usual.

"G'bye," I croaked.

He patted Henry's back and turned, disappearing around the corner. The noise of the side door clicking shut behind him told me he was gone.

I smiled at Henry, pleased he wasn't upset again about Edward leaving. "So…" I mused, before picking him up under his armpits and sitting him on the island counter. He grabbed a chocolate chip bagel off the plate and took a big bite. "What do you wanna do today? It's meant to be sunny later. Wanna go for a swim? Oh! We can have a water gun fight! And then after… what do you say we go for another walk along the shore to collect some more pebbles?"

He nodded at all my suggestions and even though his mouth was full, a little smile tugged at his lips.

When I heard the unmistakable sound of tires crunching on the gravel driveway, I relaxed more, knowing that I had a good few hours before I'd have to endure Edward and his obvious avoidance of me again.

**-****-xxx-**

**Edward:**

As I drove away from the house, and away from Henry and Bella, I cursed, hitting my forehead a few times with my palm. _Fuck I hate this!_ I gripped the steering wheel with such force I wondered if I could break it.

"Fuck it!" I shouted over the music pounding from the surround sound system. The music was hard, strong and angry, and it reflected my current mood.

I hated that things had deteriorated between Bella and me since last night. I hated not knowing what she was thinking, and I hated feeling so tense and stressed around her.

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel and cursed again, grinding my teeth in anger as I drove much faster than the speed limit. I didn't care.

I couldn't believe _she'd_ stopped _me_.

Women didn't refuse me. Women gave me problems by throwing themselves at me.

I felt disgusted at my lack of self control. Bella had enough sense to realize what we were doing, what we were risking, and she'd stopped us before things had gotten out of hand.

When the reality of what Bella had done sunk in, my respect for her had skyrocketed. She'd come to her senses first, proving that she was not only responsible, but also concerned for her job – traits I rarely came across.

Her undoubted love for my son was also so apparent that it made her so much sweeter in my eyes. She was the kind of girl I'd date – if I dated.

Bella was without doubt a relationship kind of girl. I on the other hand, was _not _a relationship kind of guy. After my divorce, the only intimacy I sought from women was for casual sex. I didn't commit. I didn't see them more than once. Obviously, I didn't want that kind of mindless sex with Bella. Okay, I did, but not for _her_. She deserved more than that.

She deserved to be with someone who wasn't afraid to give her his whole heart. I wasn't that guy. Not anymore. My heart wasn't up for grabs.

Even though Bella was an amazing woman, not to mention how desirable she was and… fuck, I really wanted to explore her body intimately, I couldn't give her the kind of relationship a nice girl like her ought to have.

Parking my truck at work, I ducked across the street to buy myself an egg and bacon bagel and a coffee. I hadn't had to buy breakfast since Bella moved in with me, and I wondered what kind of bagels she'd bought this morning. I'd felt bad about ducking out on breakfast after she'd driven especially into town to buy it, but I just couldn't handle the stress and tension between us.

Thinking about my murdered marriage, I sat at my desk in my office, sipping my strong, black coffee. I stared blankly at the papers requiring my immediate attention. It reminded me of the morning Rose had dropped the divorce papers in front of me at our small breakfast table. I'd been furious for weeks, flat out refusing to sign them. It was only when I saw how our fighting was impacting on Henry that I'd written my name, and my soul, onto the death certificate of our marriage. I'd hoped that Henry's young life would improve if his mother was happier, even if we weren't together as a family anymore.

Although I'd tried to do the right thing by Rose in marrying her, it had backfired and everyone had ended up hurt and damaged in some way.

There was no chance of me handing over my heart to be broken like that ever again. As hard as it was, I knew I was better off staying single.

I simply wouldn't be able to endure the pain and shame of not succeeding at a relationship a second time. Like surviving a venomous snake bite, I'd been bitten by failing at my "perfect" marriage, and I was now wary of leaving relationships well alone. Once bitten, twice shy – wasn't that the saying? I was living proof of how true that was.

I loathed this feeling of being weak, unsure, embarrassed. I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of having to bring the situation up so we could clear the air. I knew we needed to discuss what happened last night in order to move forward.

**-xxx-**

Five o'clock rolled around before I knew it and everyone in the office was heading home, wishing others a happy weekend.

I didn't know how fun this weekend would be since Bella and I were hardly on good speaking terms, but I _was_ looking forward to seeing Alice, Jasper and Emmett at the barbeque tomorrow. Not to mention my nephews who I was sure were up for a game of soccer or baseball with us men.

Driving home, I hoped that Bella would enjoy herself tomorrow and have fun with my family since she didn't have any family of her own around her at the moment. It strangely meant a lot to me that she would be comfortable with them and for them to accept her. I knew Alice and her boys already liked her, so I hoped the guys would, too.

I also stressed about what I was going to say to her when I arrived home, trying to figure out how it would be best to fix our friendship.

As I drove down the narrow lane towards my house, I smiled when I saw the massive, 4 door, dark red Jeep Wrangler parked at the front walkway, right behind the nanny car.

_Emmett. _

God, I was so grateful he was there already. Emmett had a knack for making people at ease, and I needed him to work his magic and keep things light tonight between Bella and me.

After parking my truck in the garage, I made my way to the kitchen side door. My heart pounded at the thought of seeing Bella again, yet I was thankful that I didn't have the nauseating sense of anxiety since I was sure Emmett would be able to deflect the tension between us.

The kitchen was quiet when I entered, but the room smelled amazing, making my mouth water at the delicious aroma of freshly baked cookies. My eyes searched the clean countertops, finding two large piles of cookies cooling on wire racks on the island counter.

Stealing four of the double chocolate chip cookies, I heard Emmett's booming laugh and it sounded like they were out on the patio. Eager to see my boys, I left my briefcase on a bar stool and made my way though the dining room to the French doors. Munching on a cookie as I walked, I moaned. The chocolate chips were still gooey and warm. So good.

"Uncle Emmie! Uncle Emmie! Watch how fast I can go!" Henry shouted.

I smiled when I saw Henry fly past the glass doors on his scooter, going faster than I'd ever seen him try.

"Wow! You're getting good, Henry!" Emmett laughed, followed by Bella's sweet voice mumbling something I couldn't make out. Hearing her voice, I stopped before they came into view. My heart started pounding harder. Whatever she said caused him to laugh loudly, followed by her melodic chuckle. A few feet from the doors, I took another small tentative step, and I craned my head to the side to see her.

She was smiling, a blush on her cheeks and her eyes alight with warmth and humor. My instantaneous grin mirrored hers. She looked exactly how she'd been this morning when I'd caught her laughing with Henry. God, that scene was an image I would never forget. However, as soon as she'd seen me watching her tickle him, her expression had changed to one of apprehension and nervousness. I'd hated it then just as much as I feared it now.

Assuming that as soon I showed myself now she'd act the same way, I decided to stay somewhat hidden in the doorway. I just wanted to watch her, letting myself enjoy seeing her be unguarded and carefree. She looked so pretty when she smiled.

Emmett and Bella, sitting at the large wooden patio table, were illuminated in late afternoon sunshine. Emmett had his back to me, and I was strangely relieved that they were on diagonal sides of the table from each other. A large bowl sat between them on the table and their glasses appeared almost empty, so it looked like they'd been out there for a while. Neither of them noticed my lurking presence as they chuckled, watching Henry do tricks at the far end of the long patio.

Emmett leaned towards her and mumbled something I couldn't hear, which caused Bella to throw her head back and laugh, loud and clear. When she looked back at him and retorted her quiet response, her eyes were bright, her smile teasing and friendly. Was she… _flirting _with him?

The possibility caused my hands to clench into fists at my sides. How _could _she after what had happened between us last night?

They continued to talk in hushed tones, and more than once I saw Bella's gaze roam over Emmett's bulky, muscular frame whenever he turned his head away. So she liked his muscles did she? Seeing her check out my best friend made my veins pulse and throb in anger. Did she like playing two guys at once? I never would have thought that of her, but seeing her flirt…

I don't know how long I stood there watching them banter and tease each other, but the sun was a little lower in the sky when Emmett stood, calling Henry's name.

Snapping myself to attention, I could feel a headache starting from by watching the two of them and studying their actions to each other. My fingers ached from being clenched in hard fists, so I shook them out, flexing them to relax the joints. I'd seen enough women flirt in my time to know that Bella was interested in Emmett.

Deep down, I knew she had every right to flirt with whomever she wanted, but the idea that she could so quickly change her attentions and affections off of me and onto Emmett made me feel like a cheap and used car being traded in for the bigger and better model.

I couldn't shake the feeling that she was rejecting me.

_She should reject me. _

I realized that if I was a decent friend – to both of them – I would encourage her to go after Emmett. After all, he was the kind of guy who'd treat her right – unlike me. I knew I couldn't give her what she deserved.

After taking a deep breath, I opened the door. I tried my damndest to act normal and not like I'd just seen the girl who'd had her hands all over me last night flirting with my friend.

Emmett turned at the sound of the door opening and gave me a wide, deep-dimpled grin.

"Hey! You're finally home," he greeted.

"How you doin', Em?" I asked, walking towards him. Though I kept my eyes on him, from the corner of my vision I saw Bella blush and look away. Her guilt was as clear as her blush was red.

"I'm good, man," Emmett said chuckling, lifting his black leather coat off the back of his chair. "I was just about to leave to go get the pizzas." He laughed at my confused expression as he usually arrived with them. "I got out of work early this afternoon and just came straight here. The little monster wants to go for a drive, so I thought I'd pick the pizzas up instead of getting them delivered."

At first, I thought he was calling Bella a "little monster" but realized that he was referring to Henry. I didn't mind him taking Henry for the drive since Emmett had a booster seat in his big Jeep that I'd bought for him to keep in his car to save me the trouble of transferring the one out of my truck all the time.

It still amazed me and, I'll admit _annoyed_ me, how my own son preferred to ride in Emmett's Jeep over my awesome truck whenever we'd drive places on the weekend, but Emmett thought it was fantastic and loved encouraging Henry's Jeep enthusiasm.

"You still wanna go for a drive with me to get the pizzas, Henry? Or should I have them delivered?" Emmett called out, obviously teasing my son as he looked down the patio to where he was playing. Henry dropped his scooter, letting it crash to the patio tiles and ran up to Emmett and me, begging for Emmett to take him in the Jeep while bouncing on his toes. Emmett laughed and ruffled Henry's hair. "Come on then, you little brat. Let's go."

Henry squealed, and after a quick wave and hello to me, he took off running into the house. He'd clearly forgotten all about me promising him a treat this morning. Oh well, I guessed riding in Emmett's Jeep was a special event for him anyway.

Emmett jogged after him, shouting over his shoulder to us that they wouldn't be long.

Turning to Bella, my eyes caught hers. But she blinked and looked down, pushing her glasses further up her nose with her index finger.

Forcing nonchalance, I walked over and sat in the same chair that Emmett had vacated. I took a deep breath to settle my nerves and ran my hand through my hair before letting the air out of my lungs in a whoosh.

"Bella…" I trailed off, not knowing where to begin. There was so much we needed to discuss.

Saying her name made her look up at me which made me glad, but her apprehensive expression twisted my gut. It was difficult not to compare how uncomfortable she was around me with how relaxed she'd been a moment ago with Emmett. It annoyed me how quick and easy it had been for them to spark up a friendship. I'd witnessed how well they'd gotten along, and if I'd seen them at a bar, I would do my wingman duties and encourage her to like him – but this wasn't a bar, and I truly didn't want to see her with Emmett.

Even though I couldn't pursue Bella romantically, it taunted me seeing her with someone else.

"So I take it you like Emmett?" I asked, trying hard to appear relaxed and friendly.

I almost wanted to scoff at the brief look of shock that flitted across her face and made her blink. She hadn't been that subtle in regards to flirting with him if that's what she thought.

"Uh… I guess. I mean, he seems like a nice guy," she admitted, nodding while watching me with cautious eyes.

"Did he tell you he's gay?" I asked, leaning forward and resting both my elbow on the table. Looking straight into her chocolate pools, I could see the questions and confusion swirling in their depths. If the situation wasn't so exasperating, I would have chuckled at the concept of Emmett being gay. I doubt _he'd_ find it funny. "So… you're wasting your flirting skills on his sorry ass." I silently begged her to believe my lie.

"I see," Bella mused, looking down at the table. "And, um, when did he figure out he was gay?" She looked up at me, her lips twitching with a smile. "Was it last month when you both went to a topless bar and he drank you under the table, or was it last weekend when he went on a blind date with a girl he met online?"

"Uhhh…" I stared at her feeling like a complete and utter douche. Trust Emmett to fucking brag about our bachelor ways to a girl he'd just met. _Oh, shit!_ My mind started going crazy with all the other stories he might have told her. Had he?

"Just to be clear, though," Bella started, "I'm not interested in Emmett like that."

"You looked like you were into him."

Bella dragged in a deep breath. Her whole expression changed as her cheeks reddened. "Hang on. Are you implying that I was… that I'm…?" Her small hands balled into tight fists as she rose to her feet. "I'm _not_ a slut, Mr._ Cullen_."

She turned and walked towards the house, muttering to herself. The only word I made out was "high school."

"I _never_ would have insinuated that, Bella." How could she think that? Hoping this wouldn't change her mind about to tomorrow, I had to ask. "Will you still be here for the barbeque?"

Bella stopped walking, but remained facing away from me.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She spoke with a slight quiver in her voice. I let out a relieved breath.

"Goodnight then, Bella," I said gently.

"Goodnight."

Like last night, I was once again left alone by Bella's swift departure. The previous two nights had been great as we'd laughed and had fun getting to know each other. It had been so long since I'd let a woman get close to me like her, and I missed the conversations we'd been having. I wanted that back. My trouble was, I wanted _more_ than that. But I was fucking scared of more.

* * *

**Poor Bella and Edward! Love is messy sometimes!**

**No, they're not taking a step backwards, you'll see next chapter how the last two chapters really push forward the plot.**

**Did you pick up on the few little clues Bella slipped about her past? What did you think of Edward's reaction to her and Emmett?**

**Let me know what you thought as I love hearing from you, and I'll also send you a teaser!**


	13. Friends

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

A huge thank you to the following women who devote their time and energy to making this story more! You girls are incredible! I'd be lost without you!

First pre-reader:** Belindella**

Second pre-reader:** Colleteg17**

Third pre-reader:** Arwen01**

First beta:** yellowjello113**

Second beta:** Lezleeff**

Last pre-reader:** Belindella**

Thank you for all your reviews and DM's! You can also find me on Twitter, for updates and questions: **Nyomixx**

My sexy one shot,_ White Swan_, won **Judges Choice** **Award **for the **'Gotta Love a Man in Uniform'** contest! It's posted on here, and I'd love to hear what you think of it!

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: FRIENDS**

**Week One: Saturday:**

**Bella:**

The house was eerily quiet as I pushed two unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tarts down in the toaster for ten o'clock breakfast. Sipping my cup of tea, I heard the pantry door open and scuffling footsteps on the tiles around the corner. I tensed, knowing I'd have to face Edward.

"Can I see if Bella's awake _now_? Please, Daddy? I'll be quiet."

I smiled at Henry's pleading. Considering how late it was, I was surprised he hadn't come and woken me like he usually did when I was with him on Saturdays. Another reason why I liked staying at Angela's… uninterrupted sleep in's.

"Shhh, buddy," Edward said in a quiet tone. "She'll come down when she's ready. Until then…"

"Ughhh," Henry whined, just as he stepped around the corner of the pantry and into my line of sight. His face lit up when he saw me, making me grin in return. "Bella!"

"Hey, sweetie." He ran to me and wrapped his arms around my hips in a fierce hug. With my heart full of love for him, I rubbed his back and stroked his blond curly hair. "How's your morning been? Good?" He nodded his face against my waist. "What have you been doing?"

"I helped Daddy with his car and he let me feed the fish."

"Oh! That sounds cool."

I lifted my gaze and locked eyes with Edward—the man who was making my life hell at the moment.

His eyes were weary with puffy bags under them, and he didn't look so good. I suspected he'd had a restless night… which made two of us. But, I loved the stubble on his chin as it made him appear more masculine than he already was. I was a sucker for a bit of scruff.

Though I doubted he'd tossed and turned as much as I had, I got a strange sense of pleasure knowing he hadn't slept well either. The conversation we'd had about Emmett the previous evening, had kept replaying in my mind, along with memories of a darker time in my life. My restlessness wasn't helped by the damn creaking noises of the house and the nearby woods that had creeped me out again. I'd lain awake for hours, my eyes jumping around the room at all the shadows and noises, my blankets high under my chin. I had to stop watching _Supernatural_!

"Good morning, Bella," he said, his tired eyes flicking to and from me as though wary of my mood.

Good.

I was pleased it wasn't just me who was nervous.

We hadn't been quite the same with each other since I'd given him his back massage. Even after Edward's attempt at conversation last night, he'd only ended up offending me, implying I was a flirtatious slut. That had hurt me more than when he had asked me to forget our almost kiss the other night. Neither of which I was prepared to forgive easily.

I pushed my glasses up my nose. "Morning, Mr. Cullen." His eye twitched at my distant tone. Though, I wanted him to know that I was still annoyed at him, I didn't want to do it by risking of my job. If I had to be polite, I would be. It didn't matter if it was forced.

"Did you, ah, did you sleep okay?" he asked, walking closer to select a mug from the nearby overhead cabinet.

"Uh-huh," I lied, still stroking Henry's hair. I was surprised that he cared enough to ask. He could have ignored me, after all. "Did you?"

He shrugged, and it only confirmed my earlier suspicion that he hadn't.

Henry pulled back to look up at me. "Do you wanna watch cartoons with me? Daddy said I could."

I smiled. "O—"

"Henry. How about you go watch cartoons for a while, and Bella will be in after she has her breakfast?" I looked to Edward as he cut me off, unsure why he was answering for me. He couldn't see, or refused to look at me, as he kept his smiling gaze on Henry. The toaster popped up with perfect timing.

Henry turned to face his father. "Can _you_ watch cartoons with me, Daddy?"

"Maybe. After I have a little chat with Bella. Go on, buddy. Off you go."

My stomach tightened with an influx of nerves. _Little chat?_

"Okay! But talk quick!" Henry said, letting go of me and running off to the den. One-on-one time with his dad always made him super happy.

Pulling the hot Pop-Tarts from the toaster and dropping them on my plate, I blew on my scorched fingertips. Edward wanted to talk? About what? Did he want to talk about last night? Or the almost kiss the other night? Or perhaps he'd figured me out! The possibilities didn't help the onset of nausea that was making my stomach turn into knots. Would this be a friendly conversation or… not?

He didn't say a word as he poured himself a coffee while I carried my plate and cup of tea to the breakfast table, deciding to sit opposite him rather than beside him at the island counter. With a racing heart, I sat in my usual chair and waited for him to join me.

My appetite had disappeared, but out of nervousness and a dry mouth I nibbled my Pop-Tart and sipped my tea, needing to do something with my hands.

"So you...?" he trailed off, taking his usual seat diagonally across the table from me. "You like Pop-Tarts?"

If I wasn't so nervous, I'd laugh. "Mm-hm."

He nodded, looking at his mug of coffee that was almost hidden by his two large hands that were wrapped around it. "Are they strawberry?"

"Mm-hm."

"I like the blueberry ones best."

"Henry likes blueberry, too," I mumbled.

Despite my anger at him, I still desired his attention and liked him more for trying to clear the air between us.

He chuckled, but it sounded tense. "I know. Blueberry and chocolate fudge are his favorites. Have you tried the S'Mores?" I nodded. Where was he going with this? "Did you like them?" he asked. "Henry loved them, but I thought they were gross. Way too sweet." He grimaced as if tasting something awful.

I tucked some loose hair behind my ear. "S'Mores are my favorite. I usually treat myself to them on weekends."

"Oh. I—" Edward cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair.

The awkward silence that followed became uncomfortable. He wasn't going to say what he wanted to, so I took the opportunity to tell him my news.

"I've organized to go to a friend's place tonight." His eyes flung to mine but I kept my gaze on my plate, watching my fingers tear apart my food. I could see him from the corner of my eye. He didn't look away but studied me intently. "I'll be leaving sometime after the barbeque and won't be back until Sunday night. Just thought I'd let you know."

He nodded, running a hand through his hair a few times. "Oh, er, okay." He dragged in a deep breath, letting it out in a huff. His stressed attitude did little to calm my nerves as I found myself looking at my plate or straight out the window.

"You missed out on a good game last night," he said, making my heart race at the mention of the previous night. I turned my eyes to him and was caught in his intense green gaze. "If you left because of something I did or said, then I'm sorry."

I frowned. What did he mean "by something?" Didn't he know?

I dropped my food and picked at my fingers. "I left because you implied I was a slut." My breathing had turned shallow from my renewed irritation, the heavy feeling in my chest beginning to weigh me down again. How could he not know what he'd implied? He frowned, looking mystified. "That really hurt me, you know?" It felt so good to tell him, to confront him on this.

"What—? How did I do that?" he asked, his frown deepening.

"By implying that I was after your friend." I could feel my face turn red as I continued to speak. "By lying to me about him… by thinking that I would flirt with him after you and I… after we almost…"

_Shit!_ I looked down at my plate, my face burning hot with embarrassment. My hands started to tremble in agitation, adrenaline, so I pulled them under the table, twisting them in my lap.

"I guess," he started, "when I saw you flirting with Emmett, I…"

"I _wasn't_ flirting with him." Why'd he keep saying that?

"You weren't?"

"No!"

"Well, it looked like you were."

Gritting my teeth, I could feel myself getting angry again. Glaring into his eyes, I wasn't prepared to see hurt in his green depths. I blinked. Why would he be hurt, too? That didn't make sense.

If he thought I'd been flirting with Emmett why would that matter anyway? Why would flirting with Emmett upset him to the point of him being hurt and angry? Why would he think he had to tell me Emmett was gay, that I was wasting my time? Why would he deter me from flirting with his friend?

Unless Edward…

A thought popped into my head that seemed so… ludicrous, but so right.

If it was true, his actions would make sense but…

But the possibility that Edward could be jealous seemed absurd.

My heart started pounding at the thought that he could have been acting out of jealousy. Why else would he lie and say his friend was gay? Why else would he be hurt over me flirting unless he actually liked me? Could he be _that _interested in me? I knew we'd become friendlier, even sounding boards for each others past problems, but… Was last night his way of keeping me from flirting with other men?

A thrill ran through my entire body at just the thought that he wanted me for himself.

What didn't add up though was that I thought he was still keen on Marie. I'd heard the desperation in his voice when he'd practically begged Angela for Marie's number. I'd heard his relief when Angela had told him Marie would call Sunday night. I thought he wanted to see Marie again.

Had his feelings changed? Did he not want Marie anymore? Did he want me instead?

The thought that Edward liked me as my plain, quieter self—my nanny self—compared to Marie who was my sexier, more confident side—had me fighting a smile. Was it possible? I couldn't believe it. He was so… _confusing_.

If it was true that he wanted me, as Bella, did that mean he was willing to go against his own rule of no relationships with employees? What would our relationship be? Did he want to date me, or… did he only want to have sex?

The possibility of both had me squirming in my seat, almost panting at the thought of being with him again, as myself. Before that could happen though, I'd have to tell him that I was Marie—A thought that didn't seem so impossible anymore, not after seeing him jealous. First he'd wanted to kiss me, then he tried to deter me from flirting with his friend… Perhaps Edward would understand if I told him. Perhaps he'd be happy and forgive me. If he wanted to be with me as Bella, what was there to stop us?

I was too caught up in the hope that he truly liked me to think about the hurdles that did stand in our way.

Thinking that he'd acted the way he did last night due to his attraction to me, lessened the hurt I felt and filled my stomach with tingling excitement. If he was still jealous of Emmett, then I needed to reassure him that he had no need to worry about my affections. Oh God, the thought that he wanted me!

Trying to contain my bubbling happiness, I took a sip of tea to calm myself, yet unable to stop my smile.

I turned to him, my expression as soft as my voice. "I wasn't flirting with Emmett. I was just being friendly and laughing at his silly comments and stories. That's all. Like I said last night… I'm not interested in him." _I'm interested in you, Edward. You!_

We stared at each other, neither of us saying anything for a long moment. I could see the doubt in his eyes fade as his gaze flicked over my face, seeing my sincerity.

After a while, he ran a hand through his glorious sex hair. "I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to offend you. Truly. I just got… confused."

"Yeah, well…" I smirked at him, wanting to let him know that I'd forgiven him. "It's okay now. But maybe next time you get _confused_, you could ask questions first?"

He chuckled, making my smile grow. "Okay." I loved that dazzling lopsided smirk.

I picked up a piece of torn Pop-Tart and placed it in my mouth, amazed and still in shock from our conversation. There was a lot to take in!

"What do you normally do on your weekends?" he asked. "Have you got anything planned?" I loved that he was interested.

"Mm. Tomorrow Annie and I are going dancing." His eyebrows rose at my news. "What?" I smiled, enjoying his shock.

He blinked. "You… Dancing?"

I nodded, grinning at the rise of excitement within me as I pictured the dancing studio, the feel of my body twisting and turning to the sensual beat of the music. "Yeah, we, ah… we've been going to all these different dance classes, learning a few styles. It's helped a lot with my co-ordination. I'm nowhere near as clumsy as I used to be since I started dancing."

"Really?" He didn't look convinced, quirking an eyebrow while smirking. He was teasing me, and I loved it.

I cocked my head to the side. "And why's that so hard to believe?"

"Probably because I've seen you trip over sand… and your own feet."

I chuckled and narrowed my eyes at him. "I didn't say I was cured, just that it's helped."

He laughed. "How long have you been learning to dance?"

I hesitated. "Ah… a year… or three."

His laughter echoed throughout the kitchen, making me chuckle along with him. The tense atmosphere had disappeared along with my nerves. This was like the fun bantering we'd shared before the massage mess, and it was great to see him laughing again.

I picked up my cup of tea and took a sip. "What were you doing on the car this morning? Henry said he helped you."

His brow creased in a slight frown as he continued to look at me, and I fidgeted, becoming unnerved by his stare. After the recent conversation, I was more than anxious with him thinking about me in view of a one night stand.

"Er… the Impala's going to the body shop to be spray painted today," he said. "Henry helped me put the wheels back on so she can be pulled onto the back of the tow truck."

An image of Edward working on his car, bent at the waist, his shorts tight against his perfect ass while his biceps strained with the effort of tightening the wheel nuts made my eyes glaze over with lust. I shook my head, bringing myself back to the conversation. "Did, ah, did Henry insist on wearing a tool belt?"

Edward blinked at my question and chuckled. "Yeah, he did! How'd you know that?"

I raised my shoulder and smiled, grateful for the return of amusement to his eyes. "Every time we do anything that requires tools, even if it's fixing a loose drawer handle with a screwdriver, Henry puts on his little tool belt to help me. He says he wants to be like you."

"He does?" Edward's eyebrows rose in soft surprise.

"Yeah." I was astonished that he didn't know how much Henry adored him. He swallowed, and I got the feeling that this news was affecting him emotionally. "Are you still getting the Impala painted black?"

"Mm-hm." He nodded, a shine in his eye that I suspected had less to do with the car and more to do with the recent revelation about Henry. "Best to keep her classic."

"Yeah. It should look gorgeous."

"You said you had a muscle car in high school, didn't you? What kind of car did you have?"

I smiled, amazed he'd remembered me mentioning it. "Yeah. Uh, it was a… a 1970 Buick GSX."

His eyes lit up as he leaned forward on his elbows. "Was she a classic?" I nodded. "Yellow or white?"

My smile got bigger, impressed that he knew the original colors the car came in. "White, but I like the yellow one's more."

He chuckled. "I bet she was beautiful."

"Mm-hm. I loved that car. It was damn fast, too." I chuckled, remembering the roar of the engine as I used to speed down the highway.

Edward smirked. "I bet all the guys in school were drooling over it."

I blushed, remembering how many of them drooled over me as well, saying it was so sexy for a chick to drive a car like mine. "Yeah, they liked it. A few of us used to clock our cars on the abandoned logging roads, trying to beat each other's records. I won, getting my car from 0 to 60mph in just over ten seconds. I would have gotten under nine seconds if I had better oil and tyres."

"You! I never would have picked you as a rev head!" His eyes were huge, shining with excitement.

God, it felt so great to impress him. "Well, there's lots you still don't know about me, mister." My teasing tone made him smile at me with intense interest. There were other things I didn't want him to know as well.

"Since we're friends and all, Bella, I think we can drop the formality." I blinked, unsure what he was saying. "How 'bout you call me Edward?" My eyes widened in shock, making his smirk turn into a beaming smile. He looked relaxed and casual, like what he just suggested was no big deal.

I chuckled with wonder, too overcome to speak right away. He considered us friends? Wow. I couldn't believe he was letting me in this much. It only encouraged my earlier suspicion that he liked me more than I realized.

"Okay..._ Edward_." I smiled, a buzz going through me at being able to call him that and not just think it.

He grinned. "Much better."

"Hang on. What about your family? They're used to me calling you Mr. Cullen. I don't know if –"

"Don't worry about it," he interrupted, holding up his hand. "They'll understand." He paused and frowned, tilting his empty mug to and from on the table. "But… when you answer the house phone, could you still say 'Mr. Cullen's house'?" He looked so cute when he was worried about offending me. So different to the man he was on my first day here.

I nodded. "I think that's a good idea." His family may understand and accept our familiarity, but to the rest of the world, it may be conceived as something more. Something gossip worthy or scandalous.

What would happen if we did become intimate? Would he want to be public about it? What would the public think, seeing a nanny date her boss?

I knew what they'd think. Familiar words started slewing through my mind and I was unable to stop them.

Slut… Trash… Whore… Slut… Slut… Slut.

There would be no getting away from that kind of prejudice.

My thoughts were interrupted at the sound of a truck crunching its way along the driveway.

"Yes!" Edward smiled, rising to his feet. "That'll be the tow truck." He rushed to the kitchen archway. "Henry?" he bellowed down towards the den. "The tow truck's here. You still wanna help me load the car on?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Henry shouted back, running towards the kitchen. "I'm coming!"

Edward chuckled as he lifted Henry onto his waist and turned to me as I pushed up from the table. His eyes twinkled. "You wanna watch?" Edward asked, like a big kid.

I loved this carefree side of him. I nodded. How could I refuse him? "Absolutely."

**-xxx-**

Not long after the truck took away Edward's Impala, Alice and Jasper arrived with their boys, Brody and Liam. Jasper was just as kind as Alice had told me he was, and was a relaxed and easy going kind of guy. He was more reserved than Emmett, in that he didn't talk much, but he chuckled often and always seemed to have a smile in his pale blue eyes.

Emmett arrived not much later and, after quick hello's, Alice banished the "boys"—which included the men—from the kitchen, saying she needed to get to work. I stayed inside to help her. Emmett obliged her by lounging at the patio table, in front of the chips and dip, with Jasper. The men were in charge of watching the kids play while they talked to Edward who manned the smoky grill.

I was slicing tomatoes at the island counter when Jasper strolled into the kitchen. I gave him a smile which he returned before he slid up behind Alice who hadn't seen him come in.

"Do you need some help?" he asked her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She jumped and he bent his head and kissed her cheek, making her smile. I looked down at the chopping board in front of me and focused on trying not to cut myself with the sharp knife, but I couldn't help smiling at their display of affection. I longed to have that kind of connection with someone myself.

The only one I wanted to be that close with… was Edward.

"Oh, that'd be great." Alice's statement made me look at her in shock. Did I say that out loud? "You can start with taking that tray of glasses outside," she instructed Jasper. I sighed in relief. "And then could you help take the rest of the food out? And make sure the boys have washed their hands before they sit at the table?"

Jasper groaned. "You were supposed to say 'no'."

She chuckled and turned in his arms. "Thanks." She gave him a quick peck on the lips and he walked over to the tray of glasses, carrying them outside.

I had helped Alice prepare a delicious buffet of potato salad, a leafy salad, a platter of sliced watermelon and cantaloupe, and a tropical punch. Edward had the privilege of grilling a few peppered steaks, onions, sausages and hamburgers as well as roasting the corn. The aroma of the grill wafting through the open windows from outside made my mouth water in anticipation.

Alice opened one of the bottom kitchen cabinets and pulled out a large platter.

"Could you be a dear, and take this outside to Edward?"

I nodded. "Sure."

"Oh, thank you."

Tucking the serving dish under my arm, I walked out through the dining room French doors and into the bright sunlight.

I heard grunting noises to my right and turned, laughing when I saw that Edward had Emmett in a head lock. Emmett had a fist full Edward's shirt but he couldn't get Edward to release his head. I grinned, enthralled with amusement at seeing Edward so boyish and immature. His smile lit up his face, making him appear younger. I could have looked at him forever.

At the patio table, Jasper sipped his beer, chuckling while he watched his two friends wrestled. His feet were propped up on another chair, crossed at the ankle.

"You're not joining in?" I asked.

Jasper shook his head and winked at me. "I'm saving my strength for later."

"What's later?"

"Soccer."

I chuckled. "Ah, gotcha."

"Yeah, but we're meant to get a storm this afternoon, so I don't know if we'll get to play. Guess we'll see."

Emmett's groan caught my attention, and I laughed as they stumbled around, spinning in circles. It impressed me so much that Edward had been able to get Emmett in a headlock that my nether regions tingled and my cheeks flushed. It became worse watching Edward's arm muscles flex, taut and defined, the veins in his arms swollen from pumping adrenaline-rich blood around his strong, muscled body.

I needed to get back to the kitchen before I started drooling, or overheating. The thin sweater I had on felt like it was made of heavy wool.

I cleared my throat. "Um, Jasper?" He gazed up at me with an eyebrow cocked. "Can you let Edward know this is for the meat?" I placed the platter on the table in front of him.

He studied me for a moment before he nodded. "No worries."

"Thanks."

Edward's head popped up and he smiled when he saw me. I couldn't help smiling too. His grin made his eyes appear bright and eager. Without warning, Emmett punched him in the gut, catching Edward off guard and causing him to groan. I gasped in worried shock but Jasper chuckled.

"Oh well. Looks like I'd better turn the meat," he said, rising to his feet and ambling over to the grill to turn the sausages. Edward returned Emmett's punch but Emmett just laughed, twisting free from Edward's grasp and pushing him away.

"Okay," I replied, tearing my eyes off the blatant masculine display of them wrestling and walking inside, making a bee line for the bathroom.

I so needed to cool down.

Once in the bathroom, I stripped off my hot sweater and adjusted the spaghetti strap tank top I wore underneath. I felt so much cooler already. After splashing my face and neck with water, I dried off while looking at my appearance in the mirror. I'd put on a little waterproof mascara this morning, and my one and only push up bra as an attempt to dress up a bit, without looking too much like Marie. I'd also worn the form fitting blue sweater, but it was too hot to keep on. The three quarter length cargo pants were much cooler than jeans, and I had to admit, my bra and low cut blue tank top made my girls look pretty fine.

I was still apprehensive about showing too much skin around Edward, just in case it caused him to recognize me as Marie, but I couldn't put that sweater, or anything long sleeved, back on now. I had to risk it.

Passing Jasper on the way to the kitchen, he gave me a shy smile. I opened the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice and turned, almost smacking into Alice.

"Did you really call my brother 'Edward?'"

I gulped, staring at Alice with wide eyes. How'd she know? Then it occurred to me. Jasper. He'd looked nervous when he'd passed me moments earlier. I waited to see disdain in her gaze but only saw interest.

"Yes." I swallowed, my throat even more parched than before. She nodded with a small smile on her face. I could see her thinking and didn't want her to assume anything. "He said I could."

"Oh?"

I looked outside to where he was. God, I wished he'd told her earlier.

"Well..." She smirked, narrowing her eyes at me playfully. "I think it's great. It's about time he dropped that 'Mr. Cullen' shit. I know why he does it, but… never mind." She turned and carried the condiments outside.

The reality that I was the first he'd allowed to call him "Edward" made me smile, making me feel special. He really did like me.

Alice carried the food, plates and cutlery to the back patio table while I did a quick clean up of the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher.

"Bella? Do you need a hand? You all right?" Edward called from outside.

I chuckled, delighted by his concern. "I'm coming!"

Tucking my hair behind my ear, I adjusted my glasses and took a deep breath before stepping out onto the patio. The delicious smell of grilled meat and onions was strong in the air, causing my stomach to grumble with impatient hunger.

The bright sunlight shone down on the patio, making me sigh in pleasure from the heat on my skin. I was glad I'd taken off my sweater before coming out into the warm sunshine, but I was still nervous about Edward's reaction.

He, and everyone else, was listening to Alice tell a story about something her boys did yesterday. My heart raced as Edward glanced at me sideways with a smile on his face when I walked towards the table. The cheerfulness in his expression warmed my heart, but when he did a fast double take and fixed his eyes on me, a chill of concern made my breath hitch and my steps falter. He trailed his burning gaze over me, up and down. Fearful that he had recognized me as Marie, my stomach churned with queasiness and my breaths turned shallow. I slowed my approach to a near stop, my wide eyes glued to his.

I knew I shouldn't have taken off my damn sweater!

My heart began pounding as his eyes travelled up my arms and across my chest, scorching a trail in their wake. He lingered a beat longer on my chest. A trickle of nervous sweat rolled down my spine from the intensity of his gaze, but when I saw his jaw clench and his eyelids become heavy, I released my breath, certain that it wasn't recognition in his eyes but something else. Something I'd seen once before, but… not as me.

It was Marie who had seen Edward's look of desire before.

My fear was replaced with excitement and wonder that I, _Bella_, could produce a look of longing from him while dressed in such casual clothes. I wondered if I should wear the push up bra more often.

Edward swallowed and returned his gaze to Henry and asked him what he'd like to eat. Looking at the table for where I was going to sit, I noticed that the only spare chair was next to Edward.

I was thankful that none of the others seemed to notice my arrival as they continued to chat and laugh, ignorant of the look I got from Edward.

His shy smirk relieved all my earlier fears as I sat down, and I couldn't help chuckling with relief.

The table top was covered with platters and bowls, and I suspected there would be enough left overs for a week.

After placing my napkin in my lap, he leaned closer to me. "How you doing? You okay?" His low, smooth voice washed over me in an arousing wave.

I hated the way my blush reddened my cheeks. "Mm-hmm." The smell of him and his spicy cologne filled my nostrils, making my stomach tingle and tighten. I swallowed, and adjusted my glasses.

He pulled back a little but kept his eyes on my face and neck, no doubt watching my skin turn pink. "Alice didn't work you too hard, did she? It's meant to be your day to relax, you know? I did tell her, but—"

"I don't mind helping. I-I like feeling useful."

He nodded, and from the twitch of his lips, I could tell he already knew that about me. It made my chest swell with happiness.

"Wow, this looks _great_," Emmett said, reaching for the serving spoon in the potato salad.

There was a collective chorus of agreement around the table and everyone began heaping their plates with food, turning the table into a sea of squirming hands reaching for things. I didn't mind waiting my turn, enthralled with watching the liveliness and the excitement from the family.

"Would you like a steak?" Edward asked me, holding one up with the tongs.

"Oh, um…"

"Thanks, Ed." We both looked at Jasper who held out his plate.

"I didn't ask you!" Edward rolled his eyes and looked back at me. "Bella?"

"I'll have one anyway," Jasper insisted, raising his dish higher.

Edward dumped it on his plate and Jasper grinned.

"Bella?" he asked again, picking up another steak and raising his eyebrows in question.

"Yes, thank you." I nodded and he placed it on my plate with a smile before he chose one for himself.

"Sausage?" Edward poised his tongs over what looked like miniature burnt logs. Clearly the wrestling had been too entertaining for Jasper to keep an eye on the meat.

I chuckled and shook my head no. It thrilled and stunned me that Edward thought I deserved to be waited on before himself.

There was something delicious about having his attention. It made me feel so good, so… special and unique. For the first time in ages, I felt… _worthy._ Tears prickled the back of my eyes.

With my plate hidden under an assortment of food, I loaded my fork with potato salad and started eating. It was scrummy-umptious.

Sitting close to Edward while in the company of his friends and family was a weird feeling. If Emmett wasn't there, it would have felt too intimate, like two couples and their kids eating lunch. Thank God Emmett hadn't brought a date or it would have felt like a triple date.

"Hey, Alice?" Emmett muttered while chewing a mouthful of food. "Guess what I bought this morning?"

"Ummm." Alice shrugged "I dunno. What?"

"A four-man tent! It's got an awesome front canopy and double strength flooring, plus a whole heap of other cool stuff."

"Why'd you buy it? Don't you want to keep Edward company in his tent?"

My ears pricked up.

Emmett's mischievous smirk made me smile. How'd he do that?

"The little sales girl was such a cutie, but she looked like she was having a rough morning, so I bought it to cheer her up. _And_, I thought it about time I had my own. I guess… I'll be sleeping in my own tent next weekend."

"Sounds good to me!" Edward said with a smile. "Maybe I'll actually get some sleep this time instead of having to listen to you snore. I'll have to thank that sales girl. Where'd you buy it from again?"

Everybody laughed. When Emmett started boasting about the other features of the tent, Edward leaned a little closer towards me, and I turned to look at him.

"Do you want to come, too?" he asked. "We're all going next weekend." He raised his fork to his mouth and slid the steak off with his lips before licking them clean of the juice.

I may have drooled a little.

"Ar - are you serious?" Despite my shock at his offer, I was mindful to keep my voice low like Edward had.

He chuckled, swallowing the food he had in his mouth and reaching for his bottle of beer. "Yeah, I am. Henry's coming too so…" I frowned. "Rose didn't tell you?"

"No. Was she supposed to?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "I guess it doesn't matter now. Alice and Jasper are coming, so all the kids will be there. Emmett's coming, as you know, and another friend of mine might be bringing his girlfriend, too. It'll be fun."

I couldn't deny that it sounded fantastic. I hadn't been camping since I was a kid—before Dad had his accident, before Mom had left.

I leaned a little closer to Edward, not wanting to broadcast my question. "Am I… In what way will I be going? I mean, will I be watching the boys?"

He picked up his corn and took a bite. "Uh, not really." Couldn't he give me a straight answer? "We _all_ watch the boys, helping out and such. The more eyes on them, the safer they are. But you wouldn't be there to work, just to help us keep a look out for them. I'm inviting you as a friend."

There was that word "friend" again. I smiled, big and wide, but stopped when I realized that the adult end of the table had gone quiet. I could feel the eyes of the others on us. Edward pulled back and cleared his throat. I turned my gaze down, pushing my food around my plate and flushing with nerves. For a moment I forgot we were at a table full of his family. We'd only been talking but the fact that everyone went quiet, showed they knew how unusual it was for Edward and his nanny to whisper at the table.

"You wouldn't mind if Bella came camping, would you Alice?" Edward asked, much to my horror. What if she said she _did_ mind? I bumped his leg under the table with mine and he chuckled, shooting me a smile.

"Are you kidding me?" Alice's eyes widened as she leaned forward. "I'd love another woman to talk to! These guys get tiresome after a while. Trust me!" I raised my eyes to hers, relaxing after what I thought was her saying no. She smiled with a look of acceptance and enthusiasm on her face. "I'd love for you to come."

"Yeah! It would be great!" Emmett started bouncing in his seat like Henry had. Jasper nodded in agreement, giving me a smile. "We have such an awesome time," Emmett continued. "We've been going to the same place for the past three years and this will be our fourth year, on the Fourth of July—you see the importance?"

I chuckled at his strange amusement. "I guess I could get a tent. Perhaps that sales girl of yours could help me out."

Edward cleared his throat. "Trust me. All you'll need is some clothes. I've got everything else."

Yeah, he did. He was everything I ever wanted.

For a moment I was concerned about what Rose would think, but trusted Edward would have considered Rose's reaction and if Edward thought she wouldn't mind…

"Where do you go?" I asked, feeling excited by the possibility of seeing more of Edward after I returned to Rose's.

"To the San Juan Islands," Edward said. "There's a family friendly campground there and we stay for two nights over the long weekend. We've got plenty of room, so..."

Alice looked up and grinned at me before the boys caught her attention. "Liam, eat your salad. Brody! Brody! Sit down now or you'll be helping me clean up instead of playing soccer later." Brody obeyed straight away. I could tell Alice was a mom who followed through on her threats. "Good boy. Now finish your lunch. You too, Henry. Eat up."

Edward resumed eating too but was watching me from the corner of his eye. I assumed he was waiting for my answer still.

I nodded, unable to contain my smile the more I thought about going camping with him. "Okay. Count me in."

"Awesome!" Emmett grinned. "I think this deserves a toast!" He raised his beer before seeing I didn't have one. "You wanna beer, Bella? I splurged and got some Heineken."

"Oh… I, ah…" I trailed off, knowing I should say no, but wanting to say yes. I'd told Rose I wasn't a drinker when she'd hired me, which was why I'd turned down Alice when she'd offered me a glass of wine before, but a beer sounded like heaven's water in this humid heat. I looked to Edward, hoping I was hiding my enthusiasm for the possibility of a cold beer, but wanting to see his reaction to Emmett's offer.

He frowned at my hesitancy and questioning look. "What? You can drink if you want."

He chuckled when I raised my eyebrows. "Ummm…" It didn't seem like a trick, and I doubted he woulddo that, but I still felt cautious. "Are you sure you don't mind? I'll just have one."

"It's Saturday. Of _course_ you can drink."

_Of course?_ I couldn't stop staring at him. If only he knew the lengths I'd gone to the other night to prevent him seeing me drink a frickin Cosmo. And he didn't care? Well, shit. That was just… a relief!

Turning back to Emmett, I beamed. "I'd love one. Thanks."

He reached into the ice cooler beside his chair and twisted the cap off one before passing it over. He raised his beer into the air again, and we all paused, smiling at the formality. "To Bella. A new friend to all of us." I balked as he smiled at me. He was toasting to _me_? "It's better to make friends fast, than to have fast friends. So here's hoping she sticks around and puts up with Edward's bullsh –"

"Emmett!" snapped Edward and Alice at the same time.

Emmett sniggered before thrusting his beer above the centre of the table. "To Bella!"

"To Bella!" They all repeated, laughing as we clinked our bottles and glasses together. Alice wasn't concerned about her fragile wine glass as she clunked with my beer. Even the kids joined in and tapped their plastic's cups together. It was so embarrassing, but emotionally touching at the same time. I loved it.

Apart from birthdays, I'd never been the cause for a toast. I adjusted my glasses and ducked my head. "Um. Thanks, guys."

Edward watched me, grinning, as he took a pull from his beer. I pressed the bottle to my lips and swallowed a few gulps of thecold liquid, my nose prickling from the bubbles. It had more of a bitter taste than Bud, but it was delicious. I hadn't had a beer in weeks and this one was perfect, so much different to Bud or Vitamin R. My whole body sighed in pleasure at the malty flavour left in my mouth.

I closed my eyes and moaned. "Oh, God! _Soooo goood._"

Emmett's sniggering made me open my eyes. "Been a while, Bella?"

I adjusted my glasses, chuckling with embarrassment. "Maybe."

He laughed, scratching his chest. "Sounds like you haven't had a drink in years."

I leaned over and tried to slap his arm. "Hey! Stop it! Gimme a break!"

Alice picked up her glass. "Oh! I know how you feel, Bella! I couldn't wait to stop breastfeeding so I could drink again. I love my wine."

Jasper patted her head like she was a child. "We know, baby. We know."

She swatted his hand away, narrowing her eyes at him. He laughed and brought his beer to his lips. "Who's the baby?" she asked, giving him a pointed look. "You're the one sucking on your bottle!"

We all laughed, enjoying the banter between the cute married couple.

Except Edward.

I could feel his eyes on me and when I turned, the look on his face made the laughter die in my throat.

His serious stare made my skin turn cold as he studied my face. I swallowed, holding his penetrating gaze. "What? What's wrong?" My voice was so weak.

He shook his head and pushed up from the table, turning away from me. "I've, ah, I'll be back in a bit." Without another word, he strode away, disappearing inside.

I felt the blood drain from my face, leaving me cold, my skin prickling with icy needles, while my heart pounded hard in my chest. As I gazed around the quiet table, everyone was looking at each other for an answer.

In the distance, I heard the rolling growl of thunder and shivered.

Jasper belched, making the boys laugh. "The man probably needs to piss. That's all."

"With how many beers he's had—" Emmett nudged Jasper with his elbow, sniggering. "—He's probably pissing like the Mississippi! Whoa. That was a tongue twister!" Emmett repeated what he'd said again and again, laughing each time he messed up.

Maybe Edward did just need to use the bathroom, but I couldn't help feeling that there was more to it than that.

As I thought over what had happened, it occurred to me that he'd turned serious after the toast… after I'd moaned.

Oh_… shit!_

Had I just given myself away?

* * *

**O-Oh! What did you think?**

**Should Bella go after him?**


	14. Deja vu

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

**A massive thank you goes to my sister, **Belindella**, who is my constant help and soundboard. Without her guidance, this story wouldn't exist. :) Thank you **Colleteg17,** for your encouragement and great advice. I love ya and really appreciate your help! Thank you to my beta, **Lezleeff**, for her fab beta'ing skills, and to **adt216**, for filling in at short notice and for doing such an amazing and thorough job! Big kisses to you all, girls!**

I can't believe the awesome reviews that came in for last chapter! The response to this story continues to blow me away! I swear I've got the best reviewers ever! I'm sorry I haven't responded to you all this time, *slaps back of hand* but I was working tirelessly on this chapter, so I hope you can forgive me. I love reading them all, as you know, and appreciate every one!

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**Chapter 14: Déjà vu**

**Week One: Saturday:**

**Edward:**

God, Bella looked good today. It was great to see her out of T-shirts and flannels, finally showing some skin. The low cut tank top she wore revealed miles of her creamy skin, and her cleavage was driving my thoughts wild. Her perky, full breasts looked amazing, and I thanked God for hot summer days.

I knew I shouldn't have been thinking about her like that, but it was hard not to be impressed when she looked so fine. It was not like I was drooling or ogling her blatantly, but I could look and appreciate, right? Where was the harm in that? After all, I am a guy.

Bella had just accepted my invitation to come camping with us, and I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. We were sure to have lots of fun scaring the crap out of her with spooky stories around the campfire. Then maybe I could comfort her or…

Shit. I shouldn't have been thinking about getting close to her.

"To Bella!" we toasted, all laughing and clunking our drinks together.

Bella's blush and shy giggles made my breath catch in my chest. I doubted she knew how cute she was. I couldn't believe how effortlessly she could make me breathless. Seeing her laugh and tease Emmett no longer stressed me out or made me angry; instead, I was thrilled that she felt so comfortable with him, that she could relax and enjoy herself. Maybe it was because she was laughing just as easily with me as well, since we'd made up this morning. But whatever it was, I was happy that she was happy.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella raise her beer to her plump, parted lips, tipping the cold bottle up and her head back. Watching her swallow made my thoughts turn south to where a particular part of me was stirring, wanting to see her for himself. She was only drinking for fuck's sake, yet she could turn me on by just doing that! What the fuck? Her throat flexed as she downed a good portion of her beer, making it hard for me to breathe again. I gripped my bottle, unable to look away.

"Oh, God!" she moaned, pulling the beer from her lips and looking at the label. "That's _sooo gooood_."

I swallowed, hard. Did she just… _Fuck!_ Hearing her moan, in mindless pleasure, made my dick more eager for her.

I couldn't help openly staring at her. As if being hit over the head with a baseball bat, a faint recollection of Marie, combined with a sudden fantasy image of Bella, assaulted me. It was so vivid I could have sworn it was a real memory.

_Bella lay on her back, fondling her breasts while I lay between her spread legs, tasting her. I plunged my tongue into her sweet-yet-tangy slickness and she gasped, arching her back and moaning loudly. _

"_Oh! That's… Ung. That's soooo gooood." I smiled smugly into her sweet pussy, proud I could pleasure her so well. _

Fuck. I could feel myself getting a boner.

Someone was talking, but I couldn't hear them. Bella's moan kept resounding in my ears, and I couldn't shake the feeling that it was familiar. Had I heard her moan like that before? I racked my brain, trying to remember an instance over the last few days when she'd moaned, but I couldn't recall a time that she had.

Seeing Bella take another drink, I imagined it was my dick between her lips instead of that beer.

Everyone laughed at something, but I missed the joke. Bella's head turned, locking eyes with me and making my heart thunder in my chest.

Her brow furrowed. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Shit. Could she see how aroused I was? She looked at me as though she could see the hard-on I had for her. I had to get out of there. "I've, uh, I'll be back in a bit."

I stood. Making sure to keep my body turned away from Bella and my boner concealed as much as possible, I strode inside where I could calm my thoughts.

Not knowing where I was going, I found myself taking the stairs two at a time to my bedroom. At least I was sure to have some privacy there. The thunder rumbled louder as I closed the door behind me, and I knew it wouldn't be long until the storm hit.

Through the open windows in my room, I heard a chair scrape against the patio and Bella's sweet voice offer to put the food away, followed by Alice saying she'd help. The guys said they were going swimming, and I would have smirked at their sneaky way of getting out of clean up duty if it weren't for my chaotic thoughts.

I wanted nothing more than to rub this fucker out, but instead I paced the floor, thinking of every gross and disgusting image I could. Being a boss who jacked off to fantasies of his employee… or friend, was not the guy I wanted to be. But trying to rid myself of my erection was difficult since I hadn't jerked off in a few days. My last attempt had ended in a freezing cold shower after images of Marie had turned into Bella wearing her fuck-hot bikini. I'd punished myself for that by flipping the hot water faucet to cold. I had no idea Bella would infiltrate my mind so easily.

But the amazing thing was… she wasn't even trying to look sexy or to get my attention today. I was glad she wasn't strutting around in a bikini; otherwise I would come in my pants from just the sight of her.

Ugh. There I was with a straining hard-on, thinking about her in her bikini again. I couldn't keep doing this! Despite us being friends, she still worked for me. _And_ she was living in my house. She was like the forbidden fruit that I was desperate to bite into.

I'd always been drawn to the chase, to the challenge, but some lines aren't meant to be crossed, no matter how tempting.

The woman I should have been thinking about, who'd tormented my mind recently, who I'd gone to great lengths to contact… was calling me tomorrow night. Yet I'd hardly thought of Marie lately. I hadn't given her much thought since… I hadn't thought about her since the day I'd seen Bella in her bikini.

Marie used to get me hard with the slightest memory. Used to give me awesome fantasies, but now… all I saw was Bella. Fuck! It should be Marie's talented mouth that I imagined around my dick, or writhing above me, calling out my name, not Bella.

The innocent girl had bewitched me.

A few days ago, I'd wanted to fuck Marie senseless again, but sex with her didn't sound as appealing as it once did.

The more I thought about it, while listening to Emmett and the boys playing in the pool, the more I realized I didn't want to see Marie again. Funny how a few days ago I thought I'd go crazy if I didn't get between Marie's legs again, but now…

It didn't matter. I knew I couldn't pursue her when who I really wanted was Bella.

"Edward?" The voice was feminine, and distinctly Bella's.

The breath in my lungs froze, and I spun to look at my closed door. "Yeah?" It came out as a squeak, so I cleared my throat. "Yeah?" I called louder.

"It's me. Bella. Are you, um… Are you okay? Do you want dessert?"

"Um…"

I grabbed my crotch, pleased that my boner had gone down from all that pacing and thinking.

Striding to the door, I swung it open with a smile. She stepped back, gnawing on her lip and looking at me with large, worried eyes. She'd put on a thin flannel shirt over her tank top, and—despite the lack of skin now visible to my eyes—I was kind of glad she'd covered up.

Bella ran a hand over her hair. "I was just, um… Alice was wondering if you wanted some fruit before she put it away." She stopped and sighed. "You didn't come back. We were worried." She looked up at me through her eyelashes, and my breath caught in my throat.

"Yeah. I, er… I had to make a call," I lied.

She nodded, her lips twitching with a small smile.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, pretty much knowing the answer, but just wanting to say something.

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose with her pointer finger. "Um, Alice is in the kitchen, and Emmett and Jasper are in the pool with the boys. They wanted to have a quick swim before the storm got here, even though it's no where near as hot anymore. Alice begged them not to go in the pool, saying they'd get hit by lightning, but… obviously Jasper didn't listen." She giggled, and then sighed. She was rambling, and she'd never looked so adorable, or kissable. I watched a blush grow on her cheeks.

"Sounds like I missed a good show," I said. She smiled, but when I licked my lips, her smile faltered as her eyes honed in on my mouth. I smirked. Did I affect her as much as she affected me? If I did, she hid it well. "So… are you going swimming too, or…?"

Another peal of thunder rolled across the heavens, revealing how much closer the storm had come since I'd been holed up in my room.

Bella shook her head and rubbed her arms as if she was cold. "Um, no. I don't think so. Lightning and all." I chuckled, somewhat relieved that she wasn't. Seeing Bella in her bikini wouldn't be helpful right now. "Besides, I've got to leave soon anyway."

"Oh." I nodded, remembering she was staying the night at her friend's place and wouldn't be back until late Sunday night. It was probably a good opportunity to have a breather from her so I could regroup my thoughts to a more… platonic place. I was pleased she wouldn't be here for when Marie called tomorrow night, too. It was going to be awkward enough turning down Marie, let alone Bella possibly overhearing.

Stepping out of my room and onto the landing, I closed my bedroom door, forcing Bella to move backwards a bit more as I stood in front of her. "Henry's going to miss you while you're gone."

Her blush deepened and she smirked. "Nah, he'll be fine. He's a big boy." Little did she know, it wasn't just Henry who was going to miss her.

"Yeah, but…" I looked down at her. "You're his friend. Of course he's going to miss you."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Jealous?"

I shrugged, knowing that deep down I _was_ a little jealous of the close bond they shared. "Maybe."

Her smile faltered. "You shouldn't be. Really. You're a _great_ dad." Her tone was serious, and my chest swelled with sudden warmth at her words. She thought I was a good father? Not many people had told me that, and fewer who had seen me with Henry that could give an honest view. "And he loves you," she continued. "So much. There's no one who could ever fill your shoes. Don't worry 'bout that." I nodded, swallowing against the emotion rising within me. Why…? Why did her opinion mean so much? With a gentle touch, she ran her hand down my forearm in a comforting gesture. However, as well as calming me, her touch ignited my blood with a burning desire for her. Standing outside my bedroom, I started fantasizing about what would happen if I was to drag her into my room and kiss her, to claim her mouth with my own…

Clearing my throat, I motioned to the stairs. "We'd better go down. Downstairs."

She blinked and glanced up at me before turning away. I followed her down the stairs, hearing the boys in the pool and Alice clanging dishes in the kitchen. Bella headed straight for the kitchen, but I walked outside, wanting to ask Jasper something. Bella was right. With the sun now hidden behind clouds, the air was much cooler, and I could even smell fresh rain on the crisp wind.

A loud clap of thunder made me cast my gaze skyward, where dark, ominous clouds churned violently. We were in for a beating.

"Hey, Ed!" Emmett shouted, throwing Liam into the air. Liam squealed, flinging his arms and legs out before he fell to the water with a splash. "'Bout time you came back. What took you so long?"

I shrugged and sat my ass on the nearest pool chair. "Phone call. Hey, Jasper?"

He turned. "Mm?"

"Did you bring your guitar?"

He grinned. "It's in the car."

I stood after a bright flash of lightning lit up the house and garden. Couldn't the guys see how close the storm was getting? "Henry?" He continued to shoot Brody with his water gun. "Henry?" I called louder.

He turned reluctantly. "Yeah?"

"It's time to go inside, buddy. Come here and I'll dry you off."

"Awww. But Daddy…"

"Nope. Come on. This lightning's getting too close, and I don't want you getting fried. Come on."

Jasper started moving towards the pool steps, telling his boys I was right, and to do as I said. I gave him a grateful smile. After I dried Henry with a beach towel and put his dry shirt back on, he and his cousins ran inside to the den, eager to beat each other on the Xbox. I knew Liam and Brody could set it up for him and help him out with the controller, so I left them to it.

Emmett and I walked inside and made a quick round of the house, shutting the windows that were exposed to the wind or rain, before I sat next to Jasper on one of the couches in the music room with my guitar. Testing the sound of it, I cringed at how out of tune it was. Jasper smirked and started picking at the metal strings of his guitar, playing a Mexican sounding tune and showing off his talent. The girls were in the kitchen, and they laughed when Emmett ran outside to rescue the icebox that held his precious beers, wanting to save them from the storm. He carried it inside and set it down in the music room before passing us all another.

"Thanks, Em."

"No worries." He chugged a good amount and sighed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Sitting, he made himself comfortable in the tan, leather armchair next to the sofa I was on.

I could faintly overhear Bella and Alice talking as they cleaned up the kitchen.

"Have you ever thought about contacts?" Alice asked her.

My attention was piqued. I hadn't asked her that before. She'd look so different without her glasses.

I stared at the coffee table in front of me, my ears waiting for the answer Bella would give, oblivious to Emmett chuckling about something he said to Jasper.

Bella hesitated before answering, her voice quieter. "Oh, I um… yeah, I wear them sometimes. Not often. Only on special occasions."

She's worn contacts? God, she'd look even more beautiful without glasses hiding her eyes.

"Why don't you wear them more often?" Alice asked. "Are they annoying? Have you thought about surgery? A friend of mine had laser surgery, and she says she loves how 'free' she feels now without glasses or contacts."

"Oh, I'd love to have surgery. Definitely. But I've been told it takes a few weeks to fully heal and you gotta rest your eyes a lot. I can't do that at the moment, not when I'm working full-time. I'd really like to, but I… Maybe someday."

"Oh. I hadn't thought about recovery. Several weeks…? Wow. I guess Rose wouldn't want to step forward and mother Henry while you recover. That would just be too much."

I couldn't see Bella's reaction to my sister's sarcasm, but her response made me smile. "Are you still going to open a kids' clothing store?" Bella asked her. "I bet it would be fantastic! I could really see you running a store."

The fact she wasn't bitching about Rose when she had the perfect opportunity to, only increased my trust and admiration for her loyalty.

Knowing their conversation had moved away from Bella, I returned my focus to tuning my guitar while listening to Jasper and Emmett talk about last night's baseball game.

Thunder rumbled overhead and the heavens opened. The rain fell so heavily that the view out the windows had disappeared and was now practically white, lit up by bright flashes of lightning.

"Daddy?" Henry cried from down near the den. He sounded terrified. "Daddy? Daddy! Daddy!"

I shot to my feet, twisting to drop my guitar on the seat behind me before jogging to the den, meeting Henry half way as he ran towards me. "It's all right, Henry. It's just a storm." I picked him up and he clung to me, wrapping his legs and arms around me, and buried his head into my neck. "Hey, hey… it's all right, buddy. It's alright. It's just rain, nothing that can hurt you." I rubbed his back. "Do you wanna stay with me and listen to us play some music?" He nodded. "Okay."

After checking that my nephews were still happy to play their game, unfazed by the storm, I carried Henry back to the music room. I couldn't hold both him and the guitar, so I was grateful when he agreed to sit on Emmett's lap. Emmett wrapped his large arms around my son in a protective embrace, and Henry curled into his chest, still scared but not as much. It was good to see Emmett talking soothingly to him, rocking him as he asked about his video game while running his large hand over Henry's hair. For a single guy, Emmett was fantastic with kids.

Jasper was playing an old country song while I continued to tune my guitar, and I smiled as Henry slowly relaxed until his blinking became heavy. He must have been exhausted, because he was asleep a few minutes later, probably helped by Jasper's soothing music.

With my guitar sounding how it should, I started playing, strumming in sync with Jasper and humming while he sang with a deep, emotional voice. My fingertips floated over the metal strings with forgotten enthusiasm as my foot tapped to the beat. _I really should play more._

Alice and Bella came in and sat on the red striped love seat opposite me, their eyes alight as they grinned. It was like they had backstage passes to see their favorite band. Alice was sipping on another glass of wine, and Bella held a mug of what I assumed was tea. When Bella saw that Henry was asleep on Emmett's lap, she smiled and tilted her head to the side with a look of tenderness that would rival any affectionate mother's. Seeing her unguarded love for my son caused a warm glow to spread through my chest and my throat to tighten. I swallowed, focusing on the chords and lyrics I was singing instead of the sudden, pleasant thought of how natural a mother Bella was.

When the song ended, I lifted my gaze to Bella's radiant, awed expression. She and Alice put their drinks on the coffee table and clapped with quiet enthusiasm. Bella's eyes crinkled with her beaming smile.

"That was incredible!" Bella gushed. "I can't believe it."

"See?" Alice nudged her with her elbow. "I told you he was good! Not as good as my Jasper, but he's still good." She gave me a teasing wink, and I mock scowled at her which made her laugh.

"What next?" I asked Jasper, trying to act unfazed by the fact they'd obviously talked about me. It had been a while since I played for anyone new, but I was thrilled Bella was impressed.

Jasper listed off a few possible song titles, and Alice told him to play the one from their wedding. He grinned at her and started strumming the upbeat tune while I plucked, replacing the effect of the drums. Emmett tapped his palm on the armrest of the sofa, nodding his head while he sung along with us. I raised my eyes to Bella's occasionally, only to see her looking at me with soft, adoring eyes. When our eyes would meet, she'd immediately blink and look away, biting her lip. I really didn't want her thinking about me romantically when I was trying hard to keep my thoughts platonic, but every time our gazes would lock my heart would thump harder, faster.

When the song ended, thunder rumbled close by, startling us all and making the girls jump and squeal. Henry didn't even stir. The girls giggled like teenagers, turning to each other and sharing an embarrassed look. From the sound of the thunder, it seemed that the storm's front had passed over us, though it still continued to rain in its wake.

Bella glanced at her watch and sighed. "Ugh. I don't want to go, but I probably should. It's getting late." She stood up, an apologetic expression in her eyes. "I've had such a great day. Thank you all for inviting me. It was lots of fun."

"Yeah it was," Jasper said, resting both arms atop his guitar. "We'll see you next weekend though, right?"

Bella nodded, chuckling. "Definitely." Jasper and Emmett smiled, seeming pleased that she was excited to come camping. I still couldn't believe she was coming with us. I just hoped I'd done the right thing in inviting her.

Alice rose to her feet and turned to Bella. "Can't you stay a little longer?"

"I'd love to, but my friend is expecting me for dinner, so…"

I looked at my watch and blinked. 5:10p.m. Where'd the afternoon go?

"Are you packed?" I asked, locking eyes with her. A big part of me didn't want her to go, even if it was just for the night. "Do you need me to bring your suitcase down?" I remembered how heavy that thing had been when she'd arrived and knew she wouldn't be able to carry it herself.

Bella shook her head. "Thanks, but I'm only taking a backpack and it's at the door, ready to go." She looked at Henry and a shadow crossed over her face. When she turned back to me, her sad eyes struck a cord deep in my chest. "Can you tell Henry I'll be back tomorrow night? That I'm at Annie's and I'll be back?" she stressed.

I nodded, and after a brief moment of silence, Bella chuckled once, slapping her palms against her thighs and taking a deep breath.

"Okay... I guess I'll, ah, see you all later." With a smile, she turned away.

"Bella?" I said, making her spin back around. "Text me when you're on the ferry and again when you get to Annie's house okay? So I know you've arrived safely."

Her lips turned up into a smile and she nodded. "All right, Edward."

What was it about Bella saying my name that made me feel so… so… good?

I smiled at her. "Have fun."

"I will."

"I'll walk you out," Alice said, linking her arm with Bella's and turning her towards the door. Bella waved at us again, and Emmett and Jasper said goodbye. I started strumming an old favorite, intent on watching my fingers forming the chords instead of the tightening in my chest.

As soon as we heard the front door open and close, Jasper turned to me and cocked his brow. "Spill."

"What?"

"You know what," he said, keeping his voice low.

"Uh, no I don't."

"You and Bella. What's going on?"

Emmett leaned forward a little, holding Henry secure while looking between Jasper and me with interest. "What's this?"

"Nothing," I answered them both. "Nothing's going on."

"Bull shit," Jasper scoffed.

We all turned to watch Bella's Volvo through the front windows as she drove away from the house. A strange hollow feeling formed in my chest, and I sighed, not understanding the hold she had over me.

"Okay," Alice proclaimed, walking back in and putting her hands on her hips. "What's going on? Why's she calling you 'Edward' now? What's with you inviting her camping? Are you and her—?"

"_Nothing's_ going on." I ran a hand through my hair and tried to remain calm. "I just told her she could call me 'Edward.' So what?"

Jasper smirked like he had a secret. "_Something's _happened though. Right?"

I took a deep breath, knowing I couldn't deny it as they'd see right through my lie. If they could help give me some advice, I shouldn't turn it away. "We almost kissed a couple of nights ago. _Almost._"

"Holy shit!" Emmett whisper-yelled. His face erupted into a big shit eating grin. "You almost kissed your fucking nanny?"

The air in Jasper's lungs burst out and he looked at me shocked. "Dude that's—"

I cut him off, knowing he'd disapprove. "'Almost' is the operative word here." I tried to stay composed and show them there was nothing to get excited about. "We're friends. That's it." I may have ghosted my lips over hers, but without full lip to lip action, it was not a proper kiss. Right?

Jasper raised his eyebrow. "Friends?" Disbelief dripped from his tongue. "Friends don't look at each other the way you two did."

"We're friends," I repeated, avoiding his gaze. How was I looking at her? What did he mean? Could he see I wanted Bella? Did she want me as well? "It's just that…" I ran a hand through my hair. "Since she's been here, we've been getting along really well, and… we talk. A lot." I looked at Alice. "I even told her about Cynthia."

She sucked in a breath and smiled, resting a hand over her heart. "You told her what happened?"

I shrugged. "Not all of it, but it was after the Koi fish arrived for Cynthia's garden and, well, it just felt right, you know?" Alice nodded, but Jasper and Emmett were staring at me, speechless. It was rare for Emmett to have no words, and I liked it. Hoping they'd understand, I decided to confess. "Fine. I'll admit that I'm attracted to her." Jasper smirked. "But as much as I'd like to _pursue_ her, I'm not about to risk another lawsuit."

"Bella wouldn't do that," Alice said, shaking her head as if she knew Bella intimately. "Besides, Tanya was a lying skank and only after your money. I still thank God for that hidden camera." I nodded, knowing how she felt. Catching Tanya confess on audio that she'd set me up was the lucky break that dissolved the charges against me. Without her confession, I wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. It'd been her word against mine. With her being my secretary—and me being a _man—_it hadn't helped my claim of innocence. "Bella's not like Tanya, Edward."

"I _know_ she's not," I agreed. But if I believed that, then why was I still hesitant?

"Trust me," Alice continued. "Bella likes you. She could barely take her eyes off you during lunch, and she may as well have been drooling watching you play the guitar."

I rolled my eyes and looked away, trying to hide my smile. "Pfft! She was not." They all laughed at my lame denial. But I knew Alice was right. I'd seen her watching me at lunch because I'd been watching her, too. If I had known we were being so obvious, I would have been on my guard more. But as it was, I'd found it difficult to keep my eyes off her.

I hadn't felt so drawn to a woman, and everything about her, in what felt like a long, long time. But what could I do about it? At the end of the day, Bella still worked for me and Rose. I couldn't do anything until that changed.

My cell rang in the kitchen, so I got up to answer it, hoping it would be Bella already.

**I'm on the ferry.**

Despite my relief, I was a little disappointed she didn't say more. As I stared at my cell's screen, I wondered what I should say in response. Should I keep it short, like hers, or should I say more? When I finished, I hesitated over the send button before just deciding to press it.

**Thanks. Let me know when you get to your friend's. **

I held my breath. Her reply came quick.

**I will. **

Again no fuss. I didn't know what I was expecting. A smiley face? My name? Ugh, when did I become such an old woman?

They all left shortly after Brody came in crying and yelling that Liam had cheated in their game. Their fighting woke Henry who started whining and rubbing his eyes. Alice stood and announced it was time to go home and for a moment it was utter chaos, making me feel like I was in the middle of a circus. Ten minutes later, Henry and I had the house to ourselves again, and everything was quiet.

He was still exhausted since he hadn't slept long which left me with a miserable little boy. While I pulled the leftover meat platter and the salads from the fridge for our dinner, I could hear Henry going room to room, calling Bella's name. He was getting more and more frantic.

"She's not here, Henry," I called, pulling out two plates from the overhead cabinet. "She left when you were asleep."

He ran into the kitchen, tears in his eyes. "She _left_?"

I nodded, peeling back the lid on the container of potato salad. "Yeah."

"No!" He stomped his foot. "She can't leave me! She said she'd stay! She said she'd stay!" He burst into sobs, big fat tears streaming down his red cheeks as his whole body went limp. He collapsed to sit on the tile floor, and I stood there staring, shocked. "She said… she'd never… leave me," he said between breaths.

Why would she promise something she couldn't keep? She had to leave one day, so how could she tell him she'd never leave him? I recalled her anxious expression before she'd said goodbye, and I wondered if she'd known he would be upset when he found her gone.

I picked Henry up and hugged him to me, rubbing his back. "Hey, hey. It's all right. She's coming back, Henry. Shhh, now. She's coming back."

"But you… said she… left."

"Only for the night. She's coming back, buddy. She's coming back."

He pulled away to look at me, his teary eyes pleading with me to be telling the truth. "R-really?"

I smiled, relaxing. "Of course she is. She's just spending the night at her friend's house. That's all. She'll be back tomorrow night. But you'll probably be in bed, so you'll see her the next morning."

"You mean… she's at Annie's?"

I nodded, relieved that his tears had stopped. "Yes."

"Why didn't you say so?" He frowned, sniffling.

I laughed at his sudden acceptance and wiped his tears away with my free hand. "I didn't think you'd understand." Obviously I was wrong.

"Bella goes to Annie's and comes back to me. She only leaves me to sleep at Annie's house. Like when Mommy goes to Mr. King's, she comes back to me, too."

I tensed at the sound of Royce's name, especially being said by my boy, but I knew I had to say something. "That's right, son. Bella will be back. Okay?"

"Okay." He looked over at the island counter. "What's for dinner? I'm hungry."

Despite him understanding that Bella would return, he was still cranky and demanding, arguing with me over the silliest things, spilling more tears and throwing tantrums. I knew it was mostly due to the exhausting day he'd had with his cousins and that he was still tired. It was the only reason I kept myself from getting angry and putting him on the naughty spot. I was too tired to fight him, so I just gritted my teeth and gave him what he wanted.

Rose called with impeccable timing—right in the middle of dinner. As soon as she said "It's me," I gave the phone to Henry. It was bad enough having to listen to Henry rave about his day to his mother let alone talk to her myself.

After I mopped up the splashed water in the bathroom from his temper tantrum over the wrong bubble bath I used, he finally fell asleep after he insisted I read him not three, but five books in bed.

I was ready to pull my hair out.

Instead, I opted for a double scotch to calm me down. I checked my phone that was on the kitchen counter and was pleased that Bella had sent another message.

**I'm here. Safe. Thanks again for a great day.**

I typed out a quick response.

**My pleasure. Enjoy your dancing lesson.**

**I will! Thanks. :)**

Her smiley face would have made me chuckle if it weren't for the headache I had, but I couldn't resist smiling as I put the phone in my pocket.

I tidied up the kitchen before I trudged upstairs and fell into my big, cold bed, desperate for a dreamless sleep.

**-xxx-**

Sunday morning, Henry woke me at the crack of dawn by jumping on me, giggling. After a loud game of tickle-Henry-until-he-screams-"stop," we walked downstairs in our pajamas. Humming and singing along to the radio, I cooked bacon and eggs for breakfast while Henry, back to his happy self, colored in his scrapbook at the island counter. I rarely cooked, but Sunday morning breakfasts were my exception.

We boys had a great day, and I enjoyed having Henry all to myself. He helped me sand back the timber frame of the sandbox until it was smooth again, and followed me around as I did a few other maintenance jobs around the house, as well as picked up a few branches that yesterday's storm had brought down. I had great fun playing with him and answering his endless questions. He could come out with the oddest things sometimes that had me in fits of laughter.

All too quickly, it was Sunday night. By seven p.m., Henry was sound asleep in bed, and I was sitting in the den, awaiting Marie to call on my cell phone.

My cell rang a little after eight, the cheery sound making my heart quicken. I grabbed the cell from the table and looked at the display. Unknown number. It had to be her.

How should I tell her?

I cleared my throat and answered. "Hello?"

"Edward?" asked a female voice, quiet and unsure.

"Yes."

"Uh, hi. It's Marie." Her voice was muffled and raspy like she had a cold. "How're you doing?"

"I'm good. How are you?" I asked casually. "You don't sound so good. Are you're sick?" We hadn't done a lot of talking in or out of the club, but I was pretty sure she didn't sound like this normally.

"Yeah, it's just a cold that's going around, but I'm okay." She definitely had a blocked nose.

"I'm glad to hear it. So, um… what've you been up to?"

She chuckled once, sounding nervous. "Oh, I've been busy. Working lots, you know…"

I ran a hand through my hair and rubbed the back of my neck. "And… how's life in New York?"

"Uhhh… It's great."

Cue awkward silence.

It was time to get it over with.

I took a deep breath. "Well, I know I asked you to call and all, so I feel like a jerk, but I have to say that since I talked to Angela, I've… _met_ someone. So I've changed my mind about meeting up. Hope you understand."

"Oh! Well, of _course_ it's okay. Wow." She chuckled again. "Umm, do you mind me asking… what's she like?"

I sunk back into the couch and closed my eyes, thinking of how to answer. What was Bella like? "Well… she's… she's _amazing_ for lack of a better word."

Marie giggled. "Yeah?"

"Mm-hm."

"Can she cook?"

I laughed. "She cooks like a chef!"

Marie chuckled, cute and melodic, ending with a sigh. I blinked a few times. Memories of being with her sprung to mind, but I couldn't believe how similar her chuckle was to Bella's. Their laughs were practically the same: a sweet tune, ending with a contented and happy sigh.

"That's… I'm really happy for you, Edward. Truly."

"Thanks. And I'm sorry again, I just didn't know how to contact you and tell you, so…"

"It's okay." She paused and took a deep breath. "I've, um… I've actually got something to tell you, too."

I cleared my throat. "Okay." _Fuck, don't be pregnant!_

"I… I, um… You see the other night when we met, I…" She sighed before sucking in another breath. "It doesn't matter."

I frowned. "Are you sure?" She had my curiosity sparked now. "What is it?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

She was probably going to tell me I could call her if I changed my mind.

"Well, if you're sure…" I said. "I guess I'd better go."

"Mm-hm." A loud engine drowned out her voice, and it sounded like she was standing on a main road and a truck just went past.

"Take care of yourself, Marie."

"Mm-hm."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

When I heard her hang up, I lowered the phone to my lap as if in a daze. It was over. Done. But what surprised me was I'd confessed my feelings for Bella out loud. And it felt good. I liked Bella, a lot. Even though I knew I couldn't act on my feelings, it felt so liberating to talk to someone about her.

I walked into the kitchen, humming to myself as I flicked on the kettle for a cup of tea. Recalling how I'd made one for Bella the other night caused me to wonder where she was, and how late she'd be getting in. Should I stay up for her? She had a key but still… My cell phone rang in my pocket, so I pulled it out. When I saw it was a message from Bella, my lips immediately formed a smile. Who knew I'd miss her this much?

**Hey. I'm on the ferry now. I'll be back soon. **

I chuckled, thrilled I'd see her within an hour.

**Okay. Drive safe. Want a cup of tea?**

**I will. And yes, I'd love some tea. :)**

I put the cell down while I made my hot drink, adding a dash of milk and sugar. I was glad that Bella hadn't been around for that conversation with Marie. For her to come home now, after I got off the phone… that was damn good timing.

Leaning my hip against the counter, I recalled the sound of Marie's laughter as I sipped my tea. What were the chances that her chuckle would sound so much like Bella's? That their appearances were so alike already bordered on spooky, and now their laughs? I took another sip and imagined Bella with straight hair and a bit of make up… I knew she'd look amazing if she wore a sexy red dress, heels, and no glasses. She'd admitted she wore contacts… what if she wore _colored_ contacts?

_Blue_ contacts?

My ears rung with silence as my mug slipped from my fingers. In slow motion, it shattered against the tiled floor, splintering into shards at my feet. The haunting sound of the crash echoed the feeling in my head as it pierced through the quiet stillness of my house.

Bella and Marie.

Could they be… the _same_ woman?

Like déjà vu, all the similarities I'd ignored, brushed over, dismissed… collided together in my mind in a frenzied torrent. They had the same creamy skin, long dark hair, almond shaped eyes… the same slim taut bodies, even both their hair smelled like fresh coconuts and citrus. Then there was their melodic laughs… their _moans_.

I paced the kitchen, pulling at my hair, thinking of how stupid I was for not seeing it before. It was Bella who I'd just spoken to on the phone, not Marie. _Bella!_

Sighing, I ran my hands over my face, recalling how I'd told Marie that Bella was amazing. Did Bella now know how I felt about her?

My heart hammered in my chest as a wave of dread churned my stomach. Blood drained from my face, pricking my skin, as the meaning of the assumption sunk in.

If Bella was Marie then… I'd fucked _Bella_.

That would explain why she'd had been reluctant to talk about herself the night she'd been_ pretending_ to be Marie, why she'd been so keen to keep the lights off… why she'd left a fucking note instead of saying goodbye. Here I was, beating myself up for thinking about Bella sexually, and I had already fucked her. How had I not pieced it together before?

"_Fuck!_"

I stopped pacing and laughed, the sound bitter on my tongue and harsh to my ears. This couldn't be right. It had to be some fucked up coincidence or something. How could I think Bella would do that to me? No. Shaking my head, I knew Bella couldn't be that callous, that deceitful. She was a sweet, innocent, amazing girl. She wasn't a _liar._ She couldn't be that heartless. I'd opened myself up to her, trusted her.

No. This had to be a mistake. Bella wasn't manipulative. She couldn't be Marie. She couldn't be.

I turned at the sound of gravel crunching under tires.

Good. Bella was back.

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**Again, I just want to say how much I love hearing your impressions of the chapter. **

**Any ideas about what's going to happen when he sees Bella?**

**What did you think about Bella almost confessing on the phone?**


	15. The Truth

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

A huge thank you to my wonderful sister, **Belindella,** for her incredible and consistent help with this story, being my soundboard, mentor and pre-reader/beta! Thanks to my amazing pre-readers, **Colleteg17, Arwen01 and Books4U, **who helped with their awesome suggestions and advice, as well as a massive thank you to **adt216 **& **Lezlee,** for their fantastic betaing skills. It takes a team to make each chapter, and I couldn't do it without them!

**I can't say how much I love reading your wonderful reviews, comments and encouragement! I am completely blown away with the continued support for this story. Thank you so much to those of you who are telling others about this story as well! I'm really sorry for not replying to your reviews last chapter, but I hope this earlier update has made up for it and plan to get to you all this time! :)**

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Truth**

**Week One: Sunday night:**

**Bella:**

"Take care of yourself, Marie," Edward said as I pressed the pay phone to my ear.

Hearing him say my middle name instead of my first, knowing he didn't realize it was me he was talking to, made my chest ache with guilt as the breath whooshed out of me. I felt like I was winded after a fall, struggling for air. The lump in my throat grew bigger, and I swallowed hard a few times, hoping to contain my tears until I was off the phone.

"Mm-hm." It was all I could manage without letting my emotions show. Leaning my back against the wall beside the pay phone, I hung my head and tried to swallow around the painful lump in my throat.

"Goodbye," he said.

I nodded, my fingers still pinching my nostrils closed. "Bye." My voice was barely above a murmur.

My chin quivered and my eyes filled with tears as I let go of the end of my nose. I had disguised my voice to Edward. Just as I'd hoped. I felt like a spineless criminal, just like the bad guy's in the movies who altered their voices to hide their identities while they made their selfish demands to the innocent people they're screwing over.

Replacing the phone's heavy receiver back into its cradle, I knew what I had to do.

I had to tell Edward the truth. I had to tell him I was Marie.

Just when I knew for sure that he liked me, I was going to destroy his opinion in me and lose him. But I knew I had to confess.

My lips twitched with a shaky smile as I recalled him saying I was amazing. _Me,_ not Marie. Did he really think _I _was more attractive than Marie? Me in my sloppy Tee's and jeans? Glasses and all?

To have Edward's approval, his respect and admiration… had made me grin from ear to ear. I couldn't believe I'd asked him for more details about me. I'd been too giddy at the time to realize how wrong it was of me to take advantage of my anonymity, just to find out what he thought about me. I didn't know why he thought I was amazing, but I doubted it was _just _because I could cook. However, I knew he wouldn't think I was amazing when he found out I was Marie—that I'd lied to him. Nope. He wouldn't like me at all.

But I had to tell him. Enough was enough.

With my shoulders slumped and my feet dragging, I walked the short distance back to my car. Once I was in the driver's seat, a surge of anger bubbled up within me, and I slapped my palm against the wheel as frustrated tears spilled from my eyes. Damn me to hell! Why did I start all this shit in the first place? If I'd been honest with him in the beginning, I wouldn't be sneaking around now, pretending to be someone else. I'd started to own up on the phone, but I'd stopped, knowing he deserved to be told face to face, not by some cowardly confession over the phone. I owed him that much. And so much more.

After driving onto the ferry from Seattle's Pier 52, I sent him a text to let him know I'd be back soon. When he offered me a cup of tea, my lips turned up into a smile. He was so attentive. A week ago, I never would have thought that he'd be texting me, asking if I'd like a cup of tea. Even though I was pretty certain that tonight would most likely be the end of our relationship, both friendly and working, I couldn't resist taking him up on the offer and showing him how he made me feel by attaching a smiley face to my reply text.

During the trip back to his house, I agonized over how to tell him. It was difficult to drive sometimes, since my eyes were frequently blurry from tears. I couldn't decide whether I should explain why I'd lied about my name at first, or if I should just blurt out, "I am Marie." It'd be like ripping off a band-aid—quick and painful, but short lived. However, when it came to band-aids, I always preferred to soak them before ever so slowly removing them. I didn't think that soaking the truth and slowly revealing it would work with Edward. He wasn't patient enough to sit and let me explain. I'd seen him presume things before when he'd seen me with Emmett. He had jumped to conclusions. He was an act now, ask questions later kind of guy. Just like on my first day there, when he'd confronted me straight away because I hadn't left a note telling him where we were.

I didn't know how to tell him, or even how much to say, but all I could hope for was that he'd listen to me and maybe understand that I hadn't misled him as some sort of joke or vendetta. He needed to know how much he meant to me.

When I'd slept with him, I'd been in _awe_ of his confidence, his strong self-assuredness and his stunning good looks. Now… now I knew the inner him, the sensitive man inside him that still struggled with grief for both his daughter and his deceased friend. He'd shown he was a kind and attentive man when he waited on me yesterday at the barbeque. He was also the muscle car restorer, the man who could wrestle and laugh with his guy friends, the man who made my soul sing and my body humwith desire by just watching him play the guitar. Edward was far more attractive to me now than he ever had been. Inside and out, he was wonderful.

The attention he showed his son, the care and dedication to Cynthia's memorial garden, all of it spoke of how great a father he was, how deeply he loved and cared for his children. He was such a good dad. Sometimes, he was a little too generous, and too quick to say yes to Henry, but whenever I watched him with that little boy, it made my chest fill with warmth. I wished Rose could see that side of him as she'd told me he was nothing but a heartless bastard who only thought of himself. She was so wrong about him.

Yes, he wasn't perfect, but who was?

When I'd talked to Angela about my growing feelings for Edward during dinner Saturday night, she'd smiled and shaken her head.

"Sounds like you're in love, chicky," she'd said as she scooped some mashed potatoes onto her fork. "That's exactly how I feel about Ben. Like my heart is about to jump through my chest, and I can't breathe when I'm around him."

She'd found it hard to stop raving about Ben since I'd walked through her door. She was so smitten with him. It'd been such a relief when Angela had said that he was visiting his out-of-town parents for the weekend. His absence had meant we'd been able to have a great weekend together, just the two of us.

Parking in front of Edward's house, I turned the engine off but stayed sitting for a moment, trying to calm my throbbing heart as I stared at the softly illuminated windows of the music room. I swallowed, ignoring how my throat ached, knowing how upset and angry he'd be after I confessed to being Marie. For a second, I contemplated not telling him, wanting to continue in the happy friendship I'd started with him.

"Damnit! I _have_ to tell him."

He needed to know _everything_. I couldn't keep this… _thing_ between us anymore. I wasn't the woman who ran from her problems anymore, remember? I'd done it once, I could do it again. Though confessing I was Marie required a lot more courage than when I'd faced him the morning after the massage, I still had to do it. I'd made a mistake, and now I had to own up to it. I had to accept the consequences.

Stepping out of the Volvo, my feet crunched on the gravel as I straightened my sweater. A fine mist drizzled on the cool breeze, dampening my skin to match my spirits. I could see my breath leave me like wispy smoke into the chilly night air, and it was difficult to hold onto my courage as it was already beginning to wain. It was like I could see my resolve leaving me with every breath. Pushing my long hair behind my shoulders, I told myself to stop being so weak and to suck it up. It wasn't about me tonight, it was about Edward.

I decided to leave my backpack of clothes in the car and just grabbed my handbag. I needed something to hang on to.

It was time for the charade to end. But I had a dreaded feeling it would be the end of my heart as well.

**-xxx-**

**Edward:**

Bella was back.

When I heard the Volvo stop in front of the house, my mind flipped out. All of a sudden, I was torn. I didn't know whether to smile and hold the door open for her or block it and demand my key back before I slammed the door in her face. This was Bella after all. The woman who, only a little while ago, I'd been so keen to see again. The woman who made me smile by just smiling herself. The woman who made my son happy and…

She may be all those things, but she may also be a lying, deceptive woman. I needed to know to the truth.

A moment later, the door opened and closed with a light click-clack, and I swallowed down the urge to just straight out accuse her.

"Edward?" Her quiet voice sounded through the house as she walked into the great room, making my pulse start hammering. "You still up?" Her voice sounded unsure, wary.

"In here," I called from the music room, wishing my heartbeat would slow down. I had to ask her calmly if she was Marie. If she felt like I wouldn't be upset, then maybe she'd confess to it.

Her light footsteps turned towards the kitchen, and I dragged my fingers back and forth across my forehead, trying to erase the tension in my brow as I walked away from the front window in the music room to meet her in the adjoining kitchen. When I looked up, there she was, standing in the kitchen archway that led to the dining room.

Had she always been that beautiful? My breath caught in my throat as for the first time, her thick, long hair hung in loose waves down her back and over her chest, curling at the ends in a tempting twirl, begging my fingers to play with them. The soft glow from the dimmed kitchen lights shone on the sprinkling of rain that sparkled on her dark chocolate hair. She looked more like Marie with her hair down as her dark locks framed her pale, heart shaped face, but seeing her standing there timidly as she watched me intently, I had to second guess myself. Marie was confident and sensual while Bella tended to be quiet and submissive. How was I supposed to figure it out? What if I _was_ wrong and grossly insulted Bella by assuming she was Marie when she wasn't?

I swallowed hard, struck with both desire for her beauty and doubt that she really could be Marie. I was ninety-nine percent sure it was her, _Marie_, but that bastard one percent… it stopped my tongue from confronting her with accusations. Bella shared similarities—_close_ similarities—with Marie, but the moment I saw her red and puffy eyes, the desire to protect her overruled every other thought.

What had happened to make her cry?

Struck with concern, I walked over to her, bending to see her face more clearly. "Hey… What's wrong? What happened?" She closed her eyes, looking pained, and shook her head. "Did something happen to you on the drive home?" I asked, stopping to stand in front of her, wanting to hold her. She shook her head no. "Then what's the matter?"

"I…" Her voice cracked on a sob, and she took a sharp breath in and held it, her hands covering her mouth. I'd never seen her like this—so upset and vulnerable, emotional. Hell, I'd never seen her cry before, except for that lone tear she'd shed in the garage when I'd told her about Cynthia. I didn't know what to do. It was painful for me to see her cry, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her to me but…

But with the unresolved suspicion that she could have tricked me still between us…

It was a difficult situation, however I couldn't stand in front of her and not comfort her in some way, seeing her so distraught. I raised my hands and lightly grazed her upper arms, feeling her warmth instantly transfer to my hands, spreading through my whole body. The moment my hands touched her, she sucked in a sharp breath and covered her face with her hands.

"Hey, hey," I said in a low, soft tone. "It's all right, Bella. It's all right. What's got you so upset?"

She shook her head, her face hidden behind her hands. "Oh God, Edward!" she cried. "I don't know how…" Her breath started to hiccup on her broken sobs as she became even more upset. "I need to—tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I'm… I'm…"

I stared at her, feeling my heated blood slowly cool in my veins. Was she trying to confess what I think she was? I lowered my hands to my side, clenching them into fists. "What is it, Bella?" My tone was abrupt, needing her to just spit it out.

Bella stiffened and swiped the back of her hand under her running nose. "I'm sorry, I…" She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, sucking in a deep breath. "I'm… I'm Marie, Edward." She closed her eyes, and when she opened them and looked up at me, her bloodshot eyes were overflowing with tears. "I'm Marie."

I blinked, exhaling slowly, the burning ache of disbelief rolling through me. Had I heard her right? Did she really just say she was Marie? I dragged a breath to the bottom of my lungs, feeling like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I had to stay calm, controlled. Needing to get away from her, to put some distance between us, I stumbled back a step, then another, staring at her in shock. Walking backwards until my ass collided with the hard stone counter, I turned and gripped onto it, wondering if I could crush the granite with my fingers.

"I can't believe this shit," I grumbled, anger making my breaths come quicker, my blood pump faster. "I can't believe I was right." Like being dipped in icy water, I could feel my body turning numb.

"You knew?" Bella asked her voice high pitched.

Twisting my head to look into her bewildered eyes, I scoffed and pushed off from the counter. Pacing like a caged lion in front of her, I tried to wrap my head around what this meant.

Bella and Marie _were_ the samewoman. I shook my head, realizing it _had_ been her on the phone. She'd been living with me all this time, knowing that I'd wanted to meet up with her again, knowing we'd been together. How had I not recognized her earlier? The humiliation I felt at having been so blind, so ignorant, so fucking used, rose up inside me, making my heart throb with disappointment that I could be hurt like this again. My limbs began to feel heavy and dead like I'd been walking up hill for hours. I stopped and braced myself at the sink, staring out the window to the black emptiness of the moonless night. It was mortifying to think that Bella had known all this time, that she'd been playing me like a fool since last Friday night.

Tentatively, Bella walked up beside me, and for a moment, I thought she was going to reach out and touch me. I was pleased she kept her deceptive hands to herself. "I'm so—sorry, Ed—ward. I—" Her hiccups were making it hard for her to speak.

Narrowing my eyes, I turned to look into her lying ones. "How could you have done that? What the fuck where you thinking? You _used _me, Bella. You tricked me into _fucking_ you! 'Sorry' doesn't cut it." I was glad that Henry's bedroom was upstairs and at the other end of the house, because I was finding it hard keeping my voice down.

Bella's face crumpled and she wrapped her arms around her middle. "I can—explain. _Please_—"

I shook my head, and pushed past her, pacing up and down the kitchen again, trying to ignore how my chest felt like it was being repeatedly squished under a logging truck. _How dare she do this to me?_

"You want to explain?" I asked, my voice sounding eerily calm, even to me. I stopped striding a few feet from her and glared into her wet chocolate pools. I didn't wait for her to answer and ignored her quick nod. "There _is_ nothing to explain. You_ lied_ to me, Bella_. _You manipulated the truth to trick me. I trusted you and you turn out to be nothing but a… a two-faced _slut!_"

She gasped, her hands flying to her cover her mouth. Her horrified eyes stared at me as though I'd slapped her across the face. Insulting her hadn't brought relief from the crushing pain _I _felt in my chest like I'd hoped. Instead, I felt a stab of shame and regret for hitting below the belt. After the night I watched her with Emmett, I knew she was sensitive about being referred to as a slut, for reasons I wasn't fully aware of, but I'd still said she was one. I'd used her weakness against her. I'd betrayed her confidence as a friend by intentionally hurting her. How could I do that? I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't. She'd lied to me, pretended to be someone else, and hidden the truth so she could fuck me.

I wanted to fire her and throw her out.

I wanted to say sorry and ask her forgiveness.

I wanted her to tell me it was all a misunderstanding.

And I wanted to yell at her, because I knew it _wasn't_.

Groaning in anger at myself and at her, I strode to the end of the kitchen, keeping my back to her as I listened to her wracking sobs while I tried to get a handle on my temper. I had to fight the urge to walk out and go to my room, to pretend it hadn't happened. I'd been so happy only hours before. Ignorance really had been bliss.

But I couldn't ignore this. It _had_ happened. There was no denying it now.

I needed answers. I _deserved_ answers.

"Why?" I asked, turning. She had her arms wrapped around her, slouching against the island counter with her handbag hanging from the crook of her elbow. "That's the only question I want you to answer. _Why_, Bella_?_ _Why_ me? Why lie to me about your name? Why didn't you tell me at the club?" There were a lot more questions regarding why, and I needed to know them all.

She lifted her head, her breath still hitching sharply with her blubbering. "I'm—sorry. I…" She raised a trembling hand to sweep her long hair off her face, behind her ear, and I saw how pale she was. She was sucking in short breaths like a goldfish sucked in water.

"Shit. Sit down before you faint," I ordered, walking towards her, disregarding the way she tensed when I approached. I cupped her elbow and helped her walk to the nearest kitchen stool, ignoring how warm she felt, how soft her sweater was on my skin and how my palm seemed to buzz from just touching her. I pulled out the stool and only let go of her elbow when I was sure she was sitting.

"Now calm down or you'll hyperventilate."

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the timber counter, taking slow, deep breaths. When her breathing had slowed a little, she slipped her thin, trembling fingers under the frames of her glasses to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Take the glasses off." My tone was calm but clipped. I hadn't forgotten she'd been using them to keep the truth hidden. Her eyes rose to mine, studying to see if I was serious. "There's no need for the Clark Kent disguise anymore." I waited, wanting to see her how I remembered her that night; without glasses.

"They're not—a disguise. I do—need them."

"Maybe. But I'm sure you can survive without them. You weren't wearing them the other night, so… take 'em off."

With both hands, Bella pulled her black rimmed glasses from her face and folded the frame's arms, dropping them on the counter with a clunk, the sound echoing around the silent kitchen. She raised her eyes to look at me, allowing me to study the naked features of her face. Despite her puffy, bloodshot eyes, she was still beautiful. Her heart shaped face, her high cheek bones that were colored with a tinge of red, her small chin, the fine bridge of her nose… The sudden reveal wasn't as dramatic as I'd anticipated, but the difference without her glasses was obvious. She was still the same Bella I found attractive, and yet I could see "Marie" more now, even without heavy make-up and the blue contacts, it was clear they were the same.

"You wore blue contacts?" I already knew the answer.

She nodded, hanging her head. "I only wear—them occas—"

"I know." Her eyes rose to mine, her mouth open slightly. "I overheard your conversation with Alice."

"Oh." She swept her hair behind her ear, her eyes cast down, her bottom lip firmly wedged between her teeth. She looked so innocent, so sweet, so…

I blinked, remembering what we were talking about.

Clearing my throat, I clenched my jaw. "At the club, why did you tell me your name was Marie?"

More tears fell but she seemed more composed as she wiped her cheeks with shaky fingers. "Because I… I was afraid you'd fire me."

"What do you mean? Why on earth would I have fired you?" She wasn't making any sense.

"When I took the job with Rose… I told her I didn't drink."

"Oh! So you lie _all_ the time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in shock. "Not just to me? You've been lying to Rose since the beginning, too?" Had I been deceived about her trust and loyalty to Rose as well?

Her watery eyes grew as large as the silver mag wheels on my car, and she shook her head, making her hair move around her in a chocolate wave. "No! No I don't. Rose was adamant that I—I couldn't drink. She didn't want to employ anyone like Lauren. I'm _not _like Lauren. I only have a—a few beers or a wine on the weekends."

"Rose said you weren't to drink?"

She nodded, her watery eyes watching mine cautiously.

Gripping my hair in my fists, I walked back to the sink and let out a loud, aggravated groan before I bent over, leaning my forearms against the cold, hard porcelain. After the Lauren disaster, I'd been so mad at Rose, blaming her for not seeing that Lauren had been a closet drunk. I'd threatened to fight for full custody of Henry if she ever let it happen again, which had scared the hell out of Rose. I would never take Henry's mother away from him, or put Rose through something like that but the threat worked, and she'd promised it wouldn't happen again.

I didn't know Rose had insisted on Bella not drinking, but I could imagine how _adamant _Rose would have been regarding Bella's abstinence from alcohol. I groaned again, seeing how stupid Rose was for expecting someone young like Bella to not drink at all. Even _I_ didn't know a single person who wouldn't at least have the odd beer, so how could Rose expect that from Bella?

Turning to gaze into Bella's pleading eyes, I knew that if it had been Rose—instead of me—in that bar, Rose _would _have fired her. And if Bella thought I knew about that rule… no wonder she'd been afraid for her job. In the same situation, I probably would have lied to my boss too if he hadn't recognized me.

Frustrated, I scrubbed my callused palm over my face. "I would have been surprised at seeing you in Club Veto, Bella… _If _you had told me it was _you_, of course. But I wouldn't have fired you." A memory hit, and I recalled Bella's expression of shock at the barbeque when I'd told her it was fine for her to have a beer. That made sense now. "The only thing I cared—_care_ about…" I continued, "is Henry's safety and that he's happy. He hadn't been safe _or_ happy with Lauren."

She sniffed and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry. I assumed you'd be angry."

I noticed the deep breaths she was taking seemed to calm her down as she wasn't hiccuping on her sobs as much anymore. I took a few calming breaths myself, wanting to make sense of this fucked up situation.

"So you told me your name was Marie to keep your job." She nodded. "That still doesn't explain why you left the club with me. I mean… what were you _thinking_? I get the name cover-up, but why'd you dance with me? Why the fuck did you touch…" I couldn't finish, because I remembered that I'd touched her first when we'd danced together on that crowded dance floor. I had rested my hands on her hips before she'd stepped towards me, encouraging me to wrap my arms around her back. "Why didn't you leave?"

"I tried. Remember? But you came after me and asked me to stay."

I knew I'd pursued her relentlessly, keen to have her that night. "Yeah, and then _you_ kissed me," I said, recalling how she'd pulled my mouth down to hers by my neck tie. I'd loved her sudden show of interest, her take charge attitude. My breathing deepened as I remembered what we'd done next in the shadowy booth at the back of the club. It occurred to me then that it had been Bella's pussy I'd touched and… Oh, fuck, this whole shit fest was wrong on so many levels. As if reading my previous thoughts, Bella's pale cheeks started to turn pink as she stared at her hands on the countertop.

"You still could've left for fucks sake," I reminded her. "I never forced you to stay."

She closed her eyes and nodded, her long, clumpy, wet lashes laid in dark contrast against the pale pink of her cheeks. "I know, but when…" She raised a shoulder. "I just wanted to be with you."

Ha! Like it was that simple!

My stomach churned with suspicion as possible reasons for her lying to me so she could fuck me assaulted my mind. Stepping up to the other side of the counter, I looked her dead in the eye, determined not to be sidetracked by her tears. "Why? Was it to trap me? What do you want, Bella? Is it _money_?" Her mouth parted in a sharp gasp, and I took it as confirmation. "If it is, let me tell you now, there's _no_ way you're getting one cent of—"

"How _dare_ you!" she spat, furious. I blinked, taken aback by the fire in her eyes. Wasn't _I_ the one who had the right to be angry? She stepped off the stool and glared at me like a bull staring down the foolish rodeo clown who had stupidly underestimated the little bull's fury. I swallowed nervously but kept my gaze strong, not wanting her to see my nerves. "I didn't sleep with you to _blackmail_ you, Edward. I would _never_ do that!" She kept stepping closer until she was right in front of me. "I'm not some whore who'd fuck you for your _money._ What kind of person do you think I am?"

"I don't know!" I shouted, towering over her, feeling brave enough to challenge her. "I have no idea _who _you are. You've lied to me from the _start_."

Her breath left her in a whoosh, taking the fury out of her eyes, and she pressed her hands atop her heart. "But you _do_ know me, Edward! You _do_. The only thing I lied about was my name and living in New York. The rest was true. _Real._"

"Oh, and I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yes."

"Everything else was true?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in doubt.

She nodded, her gaze softening. "I may have kept things vague, but I didn't lie about anything else."

I groaned, overwhelmed with frustration and disappointment that she'd lied to me at all, that she'd played me for her own purposes. I walked a few feet away before turning back to face her, my eyes narrowed and my anger burning a hole through my control like acid. "Shit, Bella. Why'd you encourage me at the club? I mean… _Fuck!_" I slapped my palm against the timber counter with a smack, hearing her yelp in fright. "Why'd you let it go so far?"

She brought her bottom lip between her teeth, and for a moment I thought she wasn't going to answer, but she took a slow breath in before letting it out. "Because… it was the first time you really looked at me."

"Fucking hell!" I gripped my hair with both hands again, wanting to pull it out. I paced up and down the kitchen again, trying to calm down and not fucking scream at her for being so stupid. "So you thought you could put on a fucking dress and trick me into bed? You _work_ for me for Christ's sake. There are laws and shit about bosses fucking their staff."

"It wasn't like that," she cried, her eyes widening as she took a step closer to me. "I didn't expect to see you there. I was out with Angela for her birthday. I didn't get dressed up for you."

_Not for me?_ So she was there to pick up someone else, but I just happen to be the sucker she chose?

"If you just wanted sex, there were loads of other guys in that club. If it was a one night stand you were after, why didn't you go home with one of them?"

Both of us were breathing heavily as we stood a few yards apart, studying each other.

"Because it _wasn't _just about sex. I didn't want a_ stranger_," she cried, getting frustrated herself. "I wanted _you_!"

"Why?" I shouted, feeling my self control slip again. "What's so special about _me_?" I poked my chest repeatedly in aggravation, taking pleasure in the pain I inflicted as it was a distraction from the aching disappointment that burned in my throat.

She looked down and shrugged, suddenly coy. "Because…" Her voice was so quiet and shy I could barely hear her.

"Speak up."

She sighed, her cheeks darkening with a blush. "Because I'm a nobody. _Okay_? I'm nothing but a worthless nanny compared to you and…" She groaned and ran a hand through her hair, pushing it off her face. "I'm so sick of feeling weak all the time. You're like a… a fortress of strength, while I'm a little sailboat out at sea. For years, I've felt pathetic, being tossed around by other people. I rarely get to make my own decisions, but then you were there, and I… You have no idea what it felt like to have your attention—that you thought me good enough. It made me feel like I was strong, too. You can be so commanding sometimes that I… God, I was so intimidated by you I could hardly speak to you. I've always envied your confidence and your…" She shook her head and sighed. Stunned to silence, I absorbed her every word. She really thought that about me?

"When you pursued me that night, I…" Her lips twitched with a small smile. "I know it's probably a lame comparison, but I kinda felt like Cinderella at the ball being noticed by Prince Charming. She was a nobody like me, just a servant, but when the guy she liked asked her to dance…" Bella tilted her head and for a brief moment, a look of happiness flittered across her face. "She didn't feel like a servant anymore."

I swallowed against the sudden tightness in my throat, unable to speak knowing how she'd felt that night, how I'd made her feel. I'd had no idea it had meant so much to her. To me, it had just been sex, and I felt ashamed at how differently I'd viewed our night together, how cheap and shallow my own reasons had been. She thought I was Prince Charming? I made her feel strong? I had no idea she perceived herself as weak or worthless, needing strength like that.

She let out a long breath, her face serious again. "I know it's silly, but I'd had a crush on you for months so when you asked me to dance… I just wanted to believe that you wanted me too and… I'm so sorry, Edward. Really. If I could take it back I would." She looked down for a moment, dragging in a shaky breath. "But I can't." She wrapped her arms around her chest, covering herself as though she'd been stripped half naked.

It wasn't her body that had been exposed, but her emotions that she'd laid bare for me. I couldn't speak for a good minute. I couldn't even blink. I was so stunned at her raw honesty. I guessed now I knew how she felt about me, too.

"Bella, I…" Trailing off, I didn't know what to say. I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache starting as it throbbed beneath my fingertips. Sighing, I let my arms flop to my side before I gazed deeply into her eyes. I could see shame and remorse swirling in her chocolate depths, and I knew she was sorry.

I believed that she hadn't acted with an ulterior motive in mind, but could I trust her again? She'd said she'd wanted a connection with me, to feel like she was more than a servant. But should I be so quick to believe everything she'd said? Was she just saying all that because I'd confronted her?

"You didn't just deceive me into bed, Bella," I said, disappointed. "What hurts more is that you kept it a secret all this time."

Her chest rose and fell with her heavy breath as she stood staring into my eyes. "I know, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I've been consumed with guilt since that night. I've been torn between wanting to tell you and… hoping you'd never figure it out. I would have quit if it wasn't for Henry."

"Perhaps you should have quit," I mumbled, looking down and crossing my arms over my chest. "You've destroyed my trust in you, and what's worse… my son is going to feel the effects of it."

"That's why I stayed," she said, stepping closer until she was a few feet in front of me. "That's why I kept it a secret until now. I couldn't abandon him."

Gazing into her pleading eyes, I couldn't deny that her love for my son was incredibly strong. I was aware it would be hard for her to leave him. If nothing else was real, her love for Henrywas. I'd seen them together, watched them when they weren't aware of it. I'd walked in on them asleep on the couch and seen them playing outside. If she didn't love him, I would have seen it in those moments. The bond they shared was unquestionable. So, if her relationship with Henry was real, could there be other pieces of this fucked up situation that were real, too?

Bella took in a shuddering breath. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I never meant to hurt you or Henry. I was selfish and lonely and acted without thinking. I never meant to let it go so far, but I… At first it was just a dance, but then when you held me…" I recalled how I'd pulled her close to me while we'd danced, her hands feeling my back as I explored her curves, my fingertips stroking the smoothness of her skin, enjoying how her breasts had felt pressed hard against my chest. "I hadn't been with anyone in so long," she continued. "And that night, you made me feel so… _special_, so… _desired_. It was the best night of my life."

I dragged in a deep breath, knowing all too well what it was like to feel lonely, to crave another's touch, to feel wanted for just a night. Hell, that's why I'd pursued _her _so much that night. To think she'd wanted me like that, in that way… fuck. Just remembering how she'd been so eager for me that night had my balls tingling. She'd been so voracious, so insatiable for me, always wanting more, more, more… That had really been _her_. She'd been under my roof for the past week, looking after my son, cooking for me, sitting next to me at the dining table and on the couch when we'd watched TV. That sexy, confident woman that had infiltrated my dreams was the woman in front of me now. It was strange to think of Bella doing the things that Marie had done…

She took another step towards me, her eyes insistent. "Please, Edward. _Please _believe me. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was just… the way you looked at me that night—the way you made me feel—I didn't want that to end."

Hearing how desperately she'd wanted me stirred more than emotions within me. Having her so close, the emotional tension between us shifted, changed. It was like an electric current sizzled between our bodies. Looking down into her expressive, chocolate eyes, my hands started to tremble, and I fought the urge to stroke the soft, creamy skin of her jaw with the pads of my fingertips, to pull her close and press my lips to hers.

Bella blinked and quickly turned away, breaking our gaze and me from my thoughts. I resisted the urge to reach out and grab her arm, to pull her back to me. Instead, I swallowed hard, and wished the desire that swirled in my stomach would stop, at least until we figured this shit out. She stumbled around the island counter and plonked onto a kitchen stool as though her legs were about to collapse from under her.

"When I moved in here," she started after a moment, speaking softly as she watched her fingertips glide across the varnished timber of the island countertop. I listened, watching her intently. "I was so relieved you didn't recognize me. But I still felt guilty. Tonight, speaking to you on the phone, I knew I had to tell you. I couldn't keep it from you anymore."

My heart clenched at her words and when she raised her face to look at me, all life and passion was gone from her red-rimmed eyes. "I started telling you on the phone." She sounded fatigued, resigned. "But I stopped. You deserved to be told in person."

I remembered how Marie, I mean _Bella_, had said she'd wanted to tell me something but then changed her mind. I was glad she _had_ stopped, as I would have hated being told this over the phone.

We watched each other closely across the counter, and it occurred to me just how hard this must be for her. She'd had the opportunity to chicken out, but she hadn't. She'd chosen to confess to my face which showed she was more than brave, much stronger than she gave herself credit for. She also had a good sense of right and wrong. If she hadn't confessed, if I'd confronted her and she'd played it off as nothing, I would have been pissed off so much more. Her tears where genuine and it may sound harsh, but I was pleased she'd cried as it showed me how sorry she was. Her telling me by herself and accepting responsibility for her actions also impressed me, but I wasn't ready to acknowledge any of it to her just yet.

My anger had subsided, but the feeling of betrayal was still there, simmering beneath the surface. So what the hell was I supposed to do? Forgive her and keep her on? Or let her go? I knew that if I fired her, Henry would be devastated, but how could I keep her on? How could I look at her after this night, knowing I'd been with her? _Intimately_. Moment's ago I'd found it difficult to resist kissing her. I'd be constantly doing that if she stayed now I knew that I'd kissed her before.

Closing my eyes, everything she'd done came back to me. She'd lied to me and then concealed her secret. She'd betrayed my trust, and that wasn't something I could easily forget, or forgive. We couldn't rewind time and fix things. I could understand why she felt the way she did about being a servant, and why she lied about her name, but the fact that she tricked me into bed… I couldn't accept that so easily.

Sighing, I knew what had to happen. I had to fire her. There was nothing more to say. Her leaving would be for the best, no matter how painful for all of us. I knew it'd be hard for her and Henry to be separated so abruptly, but how could it work if she stayed? She'd betrayed my trust in her as a friend _and_ an employee, so how could I have her live with me when we shared such a history?

"Bella… I'm sorry, but you can't…" Looking into her empty eyes that previously held so much fire and life, I couldn't say the words. I knew it would shatter what was left of her fragile sense of worth, and I couldn't do that to her. She had to go, but I didn't have the balls to tell her.

Her throat moved as she swallowed, her eyes filling with tears. She knew what I was trying to say.

"I… I need a drink," I said, leaving her sitting at the kitchen counter without waiting to see or hear her response. God, I was such a fucking coward. I was only putting off the inevitable. Now I was going to have to come back and say it.

Striding through the house and into the den, I poured myself a drink of courage and swallowed it in one go. I grunted as I felt the warmth of the scotch travel down my throat to my stomach. I poured myself another one and shot it quick. Groaning, I rested my forehead against the edge of the shelf in front of me and cursed. What a fucking mess!

A week ago, I could have fired her without a thought, just like I'd fired Heidi, but since getting to know Bella, knowing how much Henry loved her, how could I toss her out like she was yesterday's newspaper? We'd shared parts of ourselves that hurt us to speak about. We'd stayed up late, talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company like old friends. I was drawn to her as both a friend, _and _as a man. She had a spark in her that could ignite my blood with just a smile. Yes, I felt betrayed by her and knew she had to leave, but how could I fire her when I still wanted her?

Scrubbing my face with my rough palms, I turned and slid down to the floor, spreading my legs in front of me, feeling utterly worn out and still reeling from the shock that…

I'd actually fucked Bella.

I shook my head. I couldn't dwell on that now, or I'd end up doing something I'd regret even more.

Instead, I thought about everything she'd said, all her reasons. I wanted to believe her, to forgive her, to trust her again. But I couldn't. The sting of betrayal was still painful, still tender. I needed time to heal and suspected I may never fully recover from the fact that she'd deceived me.

Maybe one day, if I could forgive her of it, I could seek her out and find her. But what then? What would we do then? I'd resigned myself to being a bachelor for the rest of my life so I wouldn't have to feel shitty from disappointment and betrayal as I did now.

If I was to learn anything from this, it would be not to trust another woman so easily again.

I couldn't help wondering if the friendship between us been real? What about the strange story of her mother's disappearance? Did she truly have no family? Had her father really cast her off? She certainly had a sad past. Had those storiesbeen real or some attempt to gain my sympathy, an attempt to have a connection with my own grievous past?

It would be easy to make inquires, find out if her story was true.

At the sound of her Volvo starting and the gravel crackling under the tires, my head spun to the side in shock, looking into the hallway that led to the great room. She was leaving? Getting off the floor, I sprinted out of the den to the front door. Flinging open the heavy door as though it weighed nothing, it hit the stopper with a dull bang. I jogged down the path, my stomach sinking as I watched the red glow of her tail lights disappear around the curve of the driveway, vanishing into blackness. Shit! Why would she leave without saying anything? I guessed she _could _think I'd finished talking with her since I'd walked out on her, but why just leave?

Puffing from my short run, I trudged back inside, feeling the crispness of the night through my button down. I closed the door with a heavy click, the sound echoing through the house that now felt like a cold prison.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a piece of familiar, seashell patterned notepaper next to the bouquet of dying flowers on the foyer table. The paper design was the same as the note from Marie, and I sighed, the truth that Marie really was Bella once again being confirmed. Gazing over the letter, I noticed the ink had smeared in a few places, and it looked like her tears had fallen on the paper as she'd written it.

**-x-**

**Dear Edward,**

**I understand I can't stay here anymore. It's okay. I know I deserve it. I thought I'd leave and save you having to tell me.**

**I can come back tomorrow or Tuesday when you're at work to pack my things, so you won't have to see me. Send me a text with a time that'll be okay to come. I'll leave the house key then.**

**I know I have no right to ask, but could you please tell Henry I'm sorry and that I love him? He needs to know it's not his fault that I left. Please tell him I'll miss him. So much.**

**I know you'll take good care of him, Edward. You're a wonderful father. Don't ever doubt it.**

**I'm so sorry for hurting you and Henry. I never wanted to.**

**Thank you for letting me explain.**

**Your friend,**

**Bella Marie Swan.**

**-x-**

It was just like her to want to try and help, to try and anticipate what I was going to need or do. She was always one step ahead of me. I reread her letter while I walked into the kitchen, and I knew that the kind-hearted, compassionate Bella I'd come to know _was _real. I'd thought she'd been forgiving with her dad but, shit, she'd complimented me as a father in her goodbye note even though I was going to fire her.

But despite knowing that Bella was the sweet girl with a big heart I'd grown to like, deep down, I still knew it was good that she'd left. She'd made my heart feel like a cold, jagged rock in my chest, and at the moment, I was glad she'd left so I could process everything.

After flicking off the kitchen lamp, I walked through the house turning off the lights, thinking about tomorrow and what I was going to say to Henry. Telling him was going to be awful. I knew I could ask Alice to look after him while I was at work for the next couple of days, and thankfully I wouldn't need to hire another nanny since Rose was due back on Wednesday. He was really missing his mom and he'd need her more than ever, now that Bella had gone.

I flicked off the lights in the den, just as a thought came to light in my mind, making the breath freeze in my lungs.

Rose…

What the hell was I going to say to Rose? How was I going to explain this shit to her? She'd been so impressed with Bella as a nanny, saying she'd finally found a girl she liked and trusted. She'd warned me not to fuck it up.

But I had. Unintentionally, I'd royally fucked up… for all of us.

Collapsing lengthways onto the sofa, I groaned as my heavy body sunk into the cushions, feeling like I'd been beaten until I was bruised inside and out.

Ugh. My life just kept throwing me punches.

* * *

**Do you think Edward should snoop around in Bella's past?**

**Should he chase after her?**

**…lie to Rose?**

**And what should he tell little Henry?**

**Not to mention poor Bella who's in a world of lonely sorrow right now. If she didn't have Angela to stay with she'd be on the streets.**

***sigh***

**So, the secret is out... eeek!**


	16. Consequences

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

**A massive thank you goes to my sister, **Belindella**, who is my constant help and soundboard. Thank you **Colleteg17, b00ks4u **and **Arwen01,** for all your encouragement, suggestions and great advice. I really appreciate your help! Thank you to my betas, **Lezleeff** and **adt216**, for doing such an amazing and thorough job! Big kisses to you all, girls!**

**I apologize profusely for the delayed update this time. As most of you know, leading up to Christmas is chaos, and time was rarely my own. Hope everyone had a safe and merry Christmas and fantastic New Years!**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Consequences**

_Absence lessens the minor passions and increases the great ones, as the wind douses a candle and kindles a fire._

_**Francois De La Rouchefoucauld**_

**Week Two: Monday:**

**Edward:**

I woke, confused, on the sofa in the den. Um… Why had I slept out here?

Last night's events flashed across my mind like watching a NASCAR finish line. Bella's confession—me insulting her—her crying—me pacing and pulling my hair—her goodbye note…

God, I wished she hadn't driven when she'd been upset. What if something had happened to her? I hadn't been able to stop her or go after her as I couldn't leave Henry alone, but damnit if I didn't feel like a shit now for not doing _something_. What if she'd had an accident?

A flash of the accident I'd had with Seth consumed my thoughts, and I groaned, regret weighing heavily on me as I pictured her lying in a ditch somewhere, no one knowing where she was. I assumed she'd been heading to Annie's place, but had Annie been expecting her? Had Bella called ahead? Had she arrived safely? It had been raining last night, the same as the night Seth had died.

If I had any chance of functioning today, I _needed _to know she was safe.

Getting up from the sofa, I checked my watch.

7:16 a.m.

"Shit!" I was running late for work.

How fantastic. I'd missed my alarm since I hadn't slept in my room, so I only had about half an hour to get ready.

I strode into the kitchen and got my cell phone. But what was I going to say to Bella? Should I talk to her, or send a text? If I called, would she get the wrong idea? I only wanted to make sure she was safe, not ask her to come back. Right?

Ugh. I kept my message simple.

**Where are you? You okay?**

I stared at the screen for a minute. She didn't answer.

She was most likely asleep. No need to overreact. I put some beans in the coffee machine, trying to convince myself Bella was fine. The concept of her being pissed with me, ignoring my call actually calmed my nerves.

I looked at my watch for the hundredth time. 7:22 a.m. Outside, the day looked overcast—just as miserable as I felt—with a light drizzle making everything wet and heavy.

While the coffee dripped through, I called Alice.

"Hey. Can you look after Henry today? Bella's still at her friend's place."

"Uh. Okay. Why's Bella—?"

"Thanks. Could you be here in fifteen minutes—?"

"What?"

"—And have Henry back here by four o'clock for his piano lesson?"

"What's going on? You didn't answer me."

"Damnit, Alice. Can you do it or not? I'll explain later, but right now, I don't have time."

"Ugh! Fine. I'll see you in a bit."

I ended the call while I raced up the stairs to my room to get dressed for work, thinking back over the previous night. It was still hard to believe Bella was Marie. That she'd lied to me and kept it a secret this whole time. I found it hard to wrap my head around it all.

My phone buzzed on top of my dresser as I made quick work of buttoning my shirt. I snatched it up and read the text.

**Bella's asleep. She's staying at my place. Angela.**

Bella was okay. I released a loud breath, relief washing away anxiety. However, when I reread the text, I gritted my teeth.

So, apparently everyone to do with Bella have alternative names, did they? Annie was _Angela_…

**-xxx-**

**Bella:**

The horror of last night sunk in as I lay in Angela's spare bedroom, the small bed nothing like my luxurious one at Edward's. Just thinking his name, picturing his fallen face, my raw, puffy eyes once again filled with tears. I kept hearing the anger and disappointment in his voice, feeling the frustration that had rolled off him in waves.

How I wished to turn back time…

How I would do things differently…

However, I would never regret getting to know Edward the way I had this past week. He was so much more than I had ever imagined. There was so much more to the powerful man I'd lusted after before our amazing night of steamy sex.

Lying on my back, tears rolled, one after the other, into my ears. My chest felt like it was being crushed, caught in a vice with no hope of relief. On one side, I hated myself for walking out on Henry, for abandoning him, knowing how he'd struggled to trust me in the beginning for fear of me disappearing like his other nannies. On the other side, I loathed how I'd ruined my friendship with Edward, knowing I'd destroyed his trust and respect.

There were no two persons whose opinions I valued more than Edward's and Angela's. I still loved Dad, but he'd cast me off after not believing me, choosing to believe that bitch, Sue, over me. And despite Rose being like a sister, I hadn't told her the details of my past. Not all the time, but sometimes I knew Rose looked down her nose at me, and I felt self-conscious and criticised for being myself—like whenever she scoffed at my second hand clothes. Although I valued her opinion and liked how we could talk and laugh even though I worked for her, I didn't feel as relaxed as I did around Angela or have the desire to be honest with myself like I did when I was with Edward.

I'd only known Edward for a few months and lived with him for a week, but I felt like I had a deep connection with him. Edward was an exceptional father… and man. I loved his passion for music, how he kept the memory of his daughter alive and how he enjoyed restoring muscle cars. There were deeper levels to him I hadn't even discovered yet.

I'd seen so many sides to him. The sides others hadn't been privileged to see. He'd trusted me. Even with the story of his lost daughter.

But everything had been eclipsed when he'd said he considered me his friend, when he'd asked me to call him by his first name.

And I'd ruined it. Everything. Any future as his friend or more had been doomed to fail because of my fucking stupidity and selfishness in the beginning.

Crying, I rolled onto my side and curled into a ball, bringing my knees to my chest. Tears streamed from my eyes, soaking my pillow as I tried to stifle the sound of my sobs.

Oh! How I would miss Henry… how I'd miss Edward. _Edward_.

As wonderful as he was, I wasn't blind to his flaws anymore. I'd come to realize no one was perfect. I'd seen how he could be arrogant and bossy, how he often jumped to conclusions and could be hot tempered… but I still liked him. Respected him.

A lot.

"Liked" didn't seem strong enough to describe the overwhelming feelings inside me.

Was it possible…?

Could I be…?

I'd had a crush on Edward for months, but I didn't think…

Turning my face into my pillow, I cried out, the truth as obvious and unavoidable as flames in Hades.

Fisting the sheet over my heart as if trying to ease the burning ache, my tears soaked into my pillow. "Oh God…! I do…" _I love him. Oh God… I really do love him._

**-xxx-**

**Edward:**

"_Bel-la_?" Henry sang from his bedroom. "Bella? Bella? Where are you?"

_Damnit. _I knew there was no way to avoid it. "Come here, buddy."

"No. I'm gonna find Bella."

"Just come here for a sec'. I've got something to tell you."

He walked into my room, his little brows pulled in tight. "What?"

I sat on my bed and patted the spot next to me. Once he was sitting beside me, I put my arm around him, and he leaned against me. "Bella's not here, buddy."

"Why?"

"She's… she's still at Annie's and isn't—"

"_Why_?"

"I've called your Aunt Alice, and she's agreed to let you spend the next couple of days with Liam and Brody. How does that sound?"

He shook his head, folding his arms with a huff. "You said Bella'd be back when I woke up. You _promised_."

I swallowed. "I know. And I'm sorry she's not here, but…" I knew now would be a good time to tell him she wouldn't be coming back. I just _couldn't_.

Henry's eyes filled with tears. "Will Bella be back tonight?"

"Uh…No. What do you want for breakfast? I'm sure Aunt Alice could make you some pancakes."

His chin quivered and tears slipped over his plump cheeks. "Is Bella coming home the_ next_ day?" I shook my head, disappointed that sidetracking him hadn't worked. "The day after _that_?"

Sighing, I wiped away his tears with my thumb. "You miss her don't you?"

He nodded. "Is she mad because I played with her make up?"

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him to my chest, my hand running over his hair. "Oh, sweetheart. _No._ Of course not. Bella loves you very much, and… she misses you too."

He started crying, fisting my shirt in his little hands.

"Hey…" I rubbed his back in long, soothing strokes. "You'll have fun today. Just you wait and see. Liam and Brody love playing with you. Maybe Aunt Alice can take you out for ice-creams."

He cried harder. "I don' wanna have ice-cream. I wan' Bella. I wan' _Bella_!"

I hugged him tighter. "I know you miss her, buddy. Shhh. I know."

I couldn't deny I missed her too.

**-xxx-**

After an irritating—_maddening_—day at work, I pressed the intercom button on my desk phone. "Jessica? Come here a minute."

She strode into my office and stood next to my desk, waiting for instructions with her Blackberry in hand. "Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

Standing behind my desk, I sorted through a stack of papers and folders, placing them either into my outgoing tray, or into my briefcase to work on at home. "When's my flight leave next week?"

She did a quick search in her Blackberry. "Flight check-in is Monday morning at ten. You'll be flying first class. I got you a window seat in the back like you asked."

"Good. And Mr. Cheney? What about the film crew?"

"He'll be sitting next to you on your flight. The film crew will already be there, setting up at the first location when you arrive—ready to start filming."

I nodded while continuing to divide the paper work. Next week, after the Fourth of July weekend, I was to fly to Charleston for four nights with five members of our crew to do a special on the antebellum houses there. I'd been looking forward to it for a while, since the feature on South Carolina's pre-war houses had been my idea. So, for the past two weeks I'd been sorting through dozens and dozens of home applicants, all of whom wanted to appear on our show. I'd finally narrowed it down to a lucky five.

"Edward?" I looked up to see Ben leaning on the doorframe. "You got time to talk before you leave?"

"Yeah. Come in." He walked over and plonked his ass in the chair in front of my desk. I turned my attention back to Jessica, handing her a few documents. "I found typo's in these. Retype them and forward them today. Where am I staying in Charleston?"

"Um…" She paused and looked to Ben.

I stood up straight. "What?"

"Well…" Jessica took a deep breath. "I haven't had a chance to reserve anything yet. I've been meaning to but um… You know I've been extra busy doing the filing this week. I'm sorry."

I swallowed the strong urge to snap. I'd found out the day after I'd fired Heidi that she'd been responsible for a lot of the filing, so Heidi's departure had increased Jessica's work load. And to top it all off, management were dragging their asses in finding a replacement. "Just make sure you find me a room before you leave today and text me the details."

"Of course, sir. But what if…um… um…"

"What?"

"Is there a price limit? I mean, what if there's nothing available in the specified budget's range—?"

"Damnit! Just find me a _nice _room. Anything. I'll pay the difference myself if I have to."

"Yes, sir." Jessica made a hasty retreat, closing the door behind her.

Ben turned to me and released a low whistle. "What crawled up your ass and died?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard through the grapevine you're being a righteous prick today. What's going on?"

I sighed and sat down in my chair, scrubbing a hand over my prickly jaw. I hadn't even had time to shave this morning. Arriving late for this morning's work meeting had been nothing compared to the tantrum Henry had thrown. He'd still been crying when I'd left him in Alice's care, yelling that he didn't want to go with Alice—he wanted to stay with me. It'd broken my heart to leave him. Alice had asked me where Bella was, and I'd told her the same thing as before—that Bella was still at her friend's. I'd been in too much of a hurry to get to work, so I'd escaped her questions. However, since it was Monday night, Henry and I were having dinner at her place so she was sure to demand answers over pot roast.

I turned to Ben. "You remember that woman I told you about? _Marie_?"

He nodded. "Yeah. What about her? Don't tell me you're pissy because she turned down the opportunity to suck your dick again." He started laughing, slapping his thigh.

"Turns out Marie is my nanny, Bella."

His choked on his laughter and sat there, gaping at me for a good minute. "You're kidding. Right?"

"Nope. Wish I was." Feeling like I couldn't breathe, I yanked the knot of my tie loose and popped my top button open. "She confessed the whole thing to me last night. I'm fucking kicking myself for not seeing it sooner."

"So, Angela's friend, _Marie_, is your _nanny_? How…? How could you not have known that? You nailed her for Christ sake."

"Fuck, dude! I didn't recognize her, okay? She looked and acted completely different. _And_… she told me her name was Marie, not Bella."

"Ha! You didn't recognize your own nanny?" He started laughing hard again. "Oh, shit, man. That's the most outrageous thing I've ever heard!"

"_You_ might think it's funny, but I slept with my employee—someone who then moved into my _house._ How does that look?"

"Yeah, I know you and your rules. No wonder you're freaking out. So why'd she do it?"

I sighed. "Apparently she'd liked me for months, and when I didn't recognize her, she couldn't resist. More or less."

"But you like her, right? So what's the problem? _Oh…_ You fired her?"

"No. she left."

"Okay. So if she doesn't work for you anymore… Go after her!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because… because… she lied to me, dickhead! _Remember_? She tricked me into sleeping with her and then moved into my house where she kept it a secret! How could I trust her again? She called me from the fucking phone booth last night, pretending to be Marie. So, no…" I shook my head. "She's gone for good."

"So it was all her fault?"

"Yes!" My heavy panting was all I could hear in my office for a long moment. "Shit. I don't know. I'm not sure of anything anymore." I picked up my briefcase, avoiding Ben's gaze. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Ben stood up and walked towards me as my hand wrapped around the door handle. "Edward…" I stopped but couldn't look at him, my patience was running thin. "I can see why you'd be pissed, but… I don't know if you remember this… but at the club, she _really_ didn't want to sit with us. You should have seen the look of panic on her face when I pointed you out, man. Angela was the one who agreed to sit with us, and if memory serves, Angela was also the one who introduced her as Marie, not… Bella. Hell, Bella even left the table to get away from you."

I turned and rolled my eyes. "She left to get another _drink_."

"Right. Then she danced with Mike instead of coming back to the booth… And who chased her? Who danced with her? Who fucked her? Who stole my phone to pester Angela for her friend's number? Who insisted they meet up again?"

He paused like he expected me to respond. I didn't want to admit how I'd pursued her that night—and afterwards.

Ben punched my arm. "She put up one hell of a fight to keep her distance from you, but you _did _chase her, man. She might not be as bad as you think."

"If you found out Angela played _you_ for a fool… what would you do?"

He thought for a moment then shrugged. "Yeah I'd be pissed. But I'd still want her." He winked. "She's incredible."

Driving my truck through afternoon traffic, I couldn't think of anything but Bella.

I _had_ seen her as a challenge at the club. She'd pushed me away again and again. But that's why I'd been so attracted to her—the thrill of the chase. She'd avoided looking at me, acted aloof, indifferent, like I was nothing to her. It had driven me insane. She hadn't tried to talk or flirt with me, but had gone and danced with that dick, Mike. I hadn't forced her to dance with me, but now I knew how much she liked me, it was easier to understand why she'd caved to my persistence.

When Bella had moved in with me, she could have flirted with me at any time, but she hadn't. She'd kept things professional. The only time we'd been in danger of crossing that line had been when she'd massaged my shoulder and things became heated.

But _she'd_ put on the brakes. Not me… her!

If her self-restraint didn't speak for her integrity and good intentions towards me, I didn't know what would.

**-xxx-**

"Come on, Henry," Irina said, placing her hand on his lower back and pushing against his spine, trying to get him to sit properly at the piano. "Sit up straight and put your finger on C. Ready?"

He shook his head and folded his arms, hiding his hands under his armpits.

"Find C, Henry," she said, deepening her voice.

"I don't wanna!"

"Henry…"

"No!" He slammed his fists down on the keys, making us both jump. It'd only been five minutes, but he wasn't having any of it.

I was out of my seat before she could reprimand him. Seeing Henry upset this morning due to something I could have prevented had raised my guilt to DEFCON 3. However, _this _agony… I could prevent. It wouldn't hurt to let him miss a lesson. "Irina… I don't think you'll get anymore out of him today."

She sucked her cheeks in while taking a deep breath. She was pissed. "That's fine. But it _is_ better to persist than to allow him to get away with this kind of behavior. Because once they win, they think they can throw a tantrum anytime they want, knowing they'll get their own way."

Gritting my teeth at her unwanted advice, I ran my hand over Henry's head. I wondered if her advice would be different if she knew the reason _why_ Henry was so irritable today, or if she'd be just as cold-hearted. "You can go, buddy." He twisted on the seat and jumped to his feet, running out of the room. He didn't look back.

"Thanks for coming, Irina, but since we've finished early—"

"Coffee?"

"Can't. Got things to do."

"Oh."

After I walked her to the door, I went and searched for Henry. I found him lying chest down on the sofa in the den, his arm hanging limp over the seat.

I squatted next to him. "How you doin', buddy?" He just stared at the TV, watching _Land Before Time II_. Again. "You ready to go to Liam and Brody's for dinner? Or do you wanna stay here a bit longer?"

He blinked in slow motion. "Stay."

"Okay." I brushed his hair off his forehead and kissed his pale cheek before standing. "I'm gonna head upstairs for a bit. You all right to stay here?" I barely registered his faint nod. "Okay." Walking out and leaving him on the sofa, my throat tightened. I hated seeing him so miserable.

According to Alice, he'd been a right little devil at the Science Museum, throwing tantrums and complaining about everything. However, when she'd taken them to the park, he'd started enjoying himself, but he'd refused to eat the ice-cream she'd bought him.

"I've never seen him like this," she'd told me when she'd dropped him off. "All he wants is Bella."

_Bella…_

As I reached the landing, I found myself drawn to _her_ bedroom rather than my own.

Stepping inside her room, I left the door open in case Henry called me.

What was I doing in here? By being in her bedroom, I was breaking one of my hard and fast rules. I'd made it clear to Bella that _my_ room was off-limits, but here I was in hers!

However, I didn't want to leave. Strangely enough, I felt close to Bella with her subtle citrus and coconut scent lingering in the air, her belongings spotted around me, reminding me of the fun times we'd had, the laughter and teasing on the couch. It was comforting to be near her things, and I felt the day's weariness melt away. This was worth breaking the rules.

She'd left her sketchbook on the floor next to her bed, so I sat on the side of her mattress and picked it up. Opening her book, I blinked in shock at her talent. Boats, trees, seagulls, dogs, a playground with a little boy, who I assumed was Henry, climbing the play gym in the park… all of them caught her attention in some way. There was a close up drawing of a child's little hands holding a flower (also Henry—I'd recognize his hands anywhere.) The more I flipped through her lead pencil sketches, the more I saw Henry on almost every page. Her love for him poured off the pages. Some were just scribbles or outlines of him playing and smiling, whereas with others, she'd taken the time to fill in and shade. I wanted them framed on my walls.

Her last sketch made me choke up with emotion.

"Oh."

She'd drawn Cynthia's garden.

She'd captured the shape of the pond from the view in the gazebo, the clumping of the different plants along the waters edge, the flowers and bushes… With amazing detail she'd even drawn the weeping willow's leaves stroking the surface of the water.

With a heavy breath, I sat stunned. She'd drawn my little girl's garden…

Reverently placing the sketch pad back on the floor, I noticed a small photo album in the half closed, bedside drawer. Wanting to see her face again, wanting to know more about her, I pulled it out.

I wasn't expecting the photo of her mom and dad holding a newborn baby—presumably Bella—on the first page, but I liked putting a face to Bella's parents.

Bella had inherited her father's dark features, but she had her mother's smile and almond shaped eyes. Bella hadn't told me what she'd argued with her dad about the day she'd left, but it made me more than a little curious after seeing them portrayed as a happy family.

Flipping through the album, I didn't linger on the photos for too long as I began to feel uncomfortable, intruding on her privacy. There were photos of her when she was a kid, always with a toothy grin, frequently with her mom. Her dad didn't appear in them often, so he or someone else must have taken them.

But one photo made me stop.

Bella sat in front of a cheap looking, store bought cake with eleven crookedly placed candles on top. She wasn't smiling. Her face was stoic, except for her glassy eyes, and I realized I'd seen her look that way before… last night, before I'd left her in the kitchen.

Was this photo taken after her mom left? Her mom wasn't in the picture, and I remembered Bella saying her mom disappeared before her eleventh birthday.

Bella's lifeless expression pierced right through my crumbling wall as she reminded me of how Henry looked at the moment. She'd been just a little girl but had felt the agony of losing a parent. I couldn't imagine how hard that would have been for her, how she ever found the strength to smile again.

But she had.

A photo of a grinning adolescent Bella with angry pimples on her forehead, sitting behind the wheel of an old, 1969 Charger made me laugh out loud. She hadn't been bullshitting when she said she'd had a Charger. She must have been about fifteen or sixteen, and it was the first photo she'd been smiling in since her eleventh birthday. I felt bad for ever doubting her sad past. Her history held pain and disappointment, just like my own, but she'd managed to overcome it, to be happy again.

I wanted that for myself. I wanted to laugh again and not feel guilty that I survived the car accident, but Seth didn't… and that I'd been unable to prevent Cynthia's death. I wanted this heavy weight off my shoulders. I didn't want to live with "what ifs" anymore.

And the one person who could help me had walked out of my life last night.

Sighing, I put her album back just how I found it; more aware of Bella's longing to feel wanted, needed, accepted.

I ambled to my own room and collapsed backwards onto my bed, throwing my arm over my eyes.

God! She must be so upset right now. How horrible it must have been for her to walk out last night, to leave Henry. Just like her mom had left _her_. Without a goodbye.

**-xxx-**

**Bella:**

_I flung open the front door to our house in Phoenix and dumped my purple school bag in the hall before prancing into the kitchen._

"_Dad? I'm here!"_

_There was no food on the table. No noise. No one in the kitchen._

"_Dad?" I walked towards the stairs, checking, searching the other rooms, but everything was quiet. Eerie. _

"_Daddy?" Still no answer._

_Oh no. Not again… Images of him unconscious on his bedroom floor and bleeding last month when he'd fallen and knocked himself unconscious flashed through my mind. _

_I raced up the stairs. _

_My heart started bashing against my chest, and my breaths turned to pants. With wide eyes, I dashed into every room, searching. Was he okay?_

_Standing in my parents' empty bedroom, I felt tears fill my eyes. "DAAAD! Where _are_ you?"_

_Then I heard him. _

_Sniffling—stuttered breathing—coming from his bedroom closet._

_Oh no! He must be hurt!_

_I flung open the closet door. "Dad? You okay?"_

_He was sitting on the floor, his bare legs out straight, and his prosthetic leg in clear view. He had his back against the wall, surrounded by a carpet of photographs, old shoe boxes open and empty._

_They were mostly pictures of Mom, when she was young, and of us as a family._

_As soon as I intruded, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and cleared his throat. "Er… Go cut us a slice of cake, Bella. I'll be down in a bit."_

_It took a moment for my brain to compute. Seeing my father this upset was new, and as much as I wanted to hug him, I knew he wasn't comfortable with giving or receiving affection like Mom was, so I decided against the hug._

"_Okay." _

_I turned, and in a daze, walked back down the stairs. I'd never seen Dad cry like that before. Not _ever_. Teary eyed maybe… but not crying. It scared me. He never appeared weak. He was strong, despite having lost his leg. He was always so strong._

_As I plated some cake, I remembered how after losing his leg in a high speed car accident, Dad said he wasn't a real policeman anymore. Not since they made him do paperwork and sit at a desk. Mom complained about having to work at the hospital, but I didn't mind Dad being home more since he helped me with my fourth grade homework._

_A little while later, he came downstairs. I frowned when he chose the chair next to me instead of sitting across the table where I'd placed his cake. He faced me with red, watery eyes. His head tilted to the side as he looked deep into my eyes, as though I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. I smiled as his large hand rose to cup my neck and cheek, his thumb brushing my freckles. I leaned into his warm palm. It was rare for Dad to touch me, let alone lovingly, so I absorbed as much affection as I could. _

"_Bella… honey… I've got…. some bad news."_

_I placed my hand over his on my face, not liking the way his chin quivered. "What is it?"_

_He looked down and squeezed my other hand that rested in my lap. "It's—it's your mother. She's gone…"_

Gasping, I woke with a cry caught in my throat and a cold sweat on my skin. I rubbed my face, trying to calm my racing heart by taking a few deep breaths.

I hadn't dreamed about that night in a long, long time. I thought about Mom and Dad a lot, but rarely dreamed about them. After Dad had told me Mom had gone missing, he explained to me how the police had found her car abandoned in the hospital parking lot, and that she seemed to have run away. I'd stayed quiet, unable to speak.

For a while after Mom had left, I'd refused to talk to anyone except Dad, who unlike me, refused to entertain the idea that she'd left and firmly believed that she'd been murdered. But as painful as it was for me to accept she'd left me, thinking she was dead was even worse.

Uncomfortable, I went to turn onto my side, groaning as my head started pounding with a bitch of a headache. But the moment I moved, my stomach churned, and I froze. I swallowed a few times, breathing slowly, taken aback by the dizzying roller coaster my head was on. How could I have a hangover when I'd had nothing to drink?

Ugh. I needed to relax, or I was going to make myself sick.

The bedroom door cracked opened and Angela's head appeared. Seeing me awake, she opened the door wider and walked in. "How are you, possum?"

"Ugh." My eyes closed, and I groaned. "Headache."

She hissed in a breath and grimaced. "That bad, huh?"

"Mm. What's the time?"

She lowered herself onto the side of my bed. "Five-thirty. I just got home. You been in bed all day?"

"Mm."

Sighing, she swept some hair off my forehead. "You up for some food? I bought you sweet and sour pork for dinner. Your favorite."

My stomach churned at the thought of eating deep fried pork. "I don't think I can."

"Come on. At least try. I bet you haven't eaten all day."

Looking at her, it was clear she wanted my company as much as I wanted to be left alone. After all she'd done for me though, sitting with her while she ate was the least I could do.

"Can I have a shower first?"

She smiled and jumped to her feet. "I'll set the table."

Ten minutes later, after a hot and refreshing shower, I padded into the kitchen in a clean pair of comfy pajamas. "Where's your Tylenol, Ange?"

"Uh… in the cutlery drawer."

I threw two back before sitting at the dining table with her. I glanced at the mound of food in front of me and tried not to screw my nose up. "Thanks for this, honey, but I'm not feeling very hungry."

"It's okay if you can't eat all of it. You should try to eat or drink something though." I nodded and picked up the glass of orange juice she'd poured for me. Satisfied, Angela took a mouthful of Chow Mein.

"Um, Bella… Ben called me last night… right after you called me from the road. He asked me to come camping with him and his friends this weekend."

I recalled Edward saying his friend might be going camping with him. Had he been talking about Ben and Angela?

Knowing that I was now missing out on getting to go camping with Edward and Henry pierced my heart. "Oh… you gonna go?" The words stuck to the jealousy rising in my throat.

Angela swallowed another mouthful. "I wish I could but I can't. I have to work. And considering you quit, it's probably for the best I can't go. That would have been really weird… _Me _going camping with your ex boss…? No thanks. I'll stay here with you."

Angela became silent as she saw me staring at my food. She reached across and laid her hand over mine that had been motionless for the past few minutes. "You wanna talk about it?"

With a sigh, I nodded.

When I'd arrived at her apartment last night, I'd been exhausted and in a state of numb shock, so I'd gone straight to bed. Angela had snuck out this morning without waking me, so apart from me telling her on the phone that I'd quit after confessing I was Marie, she knew nothing about the show down.

After I told her all the words, sighs, groans and curses Edward and I had said last night, she leaned back and shook her head.

"Shit, Bella. That must have been so hard for you."

"What about _him_? You should have seen his face. He was so disappointed, so hurt."

She frowned and pushed her food around her plate. "I can't stop thinking… if I hadn't encouraged you to stay at the club, to lie about your name, none of this would have happened."

"Ange? You didn't force me to stay. And you certainly didn't force me to sleep with him. I did _that_ all by myself."

She gave me a weak smile. "Yeah well… so what now? I mean, what are you planning to do?"

I shrugged, not having really thought about it. "I'm not sure, but I don't want to nanny anymore. I can't abandon another Henry." My heart couldn't take this again.

"What about school? Or a course? You could study something." Narrowing my eyes, I considered going back to school. She smirked. "You could apply now and start in September. If you stayed here in Washington state, you'd save on college tuition fees."

The idea sparked something inside me. "I still have Mom's money Dad gave me."

The thirty-five thousand dollars that Dad had wired to my account when I'd left, still sat in the bank, earning interest in an untouched account. I hadn't spent a cent since the day he'd transferred it so it had increased over the four years. When I'd told Edward about the money, I didn't tell him I'd known it had been all the money from Mom's personal account, as Dad had told me about the security fund she'd started for me when I was born. I didn't want to spend it when I could work myself, so for the past four years I'd been happy to earn my own money.

"I don't know what I'd study though."

She shrugged. "If you could chose to do anything—anything at all—what would you do?"

"Anything?" I asked while adjusting my glasses. Angela nodded. "Um…"

"Think about the things you enjoy doing now."

"I don't know."

"Okay, what about a teacher? You'd have a classroom of kids. Or a nurse? You could work in a children's ward…"

"Mm." I wasn't convinced or eager with those ideas.

"What about an advanced art course?"

I blinked and sat up straight. "I… Are you serious? You think I'm good enough to do that?"

Angela smiled. "You know I think so."

Last year, I'd bought my own watercolor kit and tried to teach myself, borrowing books from the library to help me, but I could never get it as good as the pictures so I'd given up and went back to just sketching.

"I _have_ always wanted to do an art course. I'd really love to know how to paint using watercolors. I like sketching, but I just _love _watercolors." The more I thought about taking a course, the more the idea blossomed, imagining the skills I'd learn from being taught by a _real_ artist. Now that I wasn't working fulltime, I _could_ take a course. "I really like the idea of that! Maybe afterwards, once I became experienced, I'd get to sell my own work, get a name for myself. I don't know if I'd ever earn enough money to live on, but I like the idea of making money from something where I can be my own boss."

Angela smiled and squeezed my hand. "How 'bout we look up some courses for you to choose from after dinner?"

I nodded. It wasn't the future I dreamed of, but I could make it work. "Okay."

Angela chuckled. "Since this is your new home, I was thinking we could redecorate your room. Maybe get a new bed? You could even _paint_ it."

I blinked fast. "Really?" For the first time in four years I'd have my own bedroom, a home. My mind started pondering beds, paint colors and wallpaper patterns. I liked the distraction from thinking about Edward, Henry and my failures. The sooner I accepted my new life, my lonely life, the sooner the pain in my chest would disappear.

Moving on also meant I had to call Rosalie and tell her I'd quit. Ugh. That was one phone call I didn't want to make. Maybe tomorrow when I collected my things… I'd _have_ to call her before she arrived on Wednesday—

A familiar tune rang from my handbag sitting on the floor near the front door, and both Angela and I turned to stare. The person who usually called me sat across from me, so I had a strong suspicion it would be Edward… or Rose. Swallowing, I stood and retrieved it.

It _was_ from him.

**We need to talk. Can I take you out for lunch tomorrow?**

"It's from Edward, isn't it?" Angela asked.

I looked up and met her curious gaze. "Yeah." My voice sounded hoarse.

Angela cringed. "Oh. Um… I'm sorry I forgot to tell you earlier, but… he messaged you this morning, too."

"He _did_? What'd he say?" With speedy fingers, I opened my inbox while my chest warmed with hope, my heart pounding with fresh vigor.

"He um… he wanted to know where you were and if you were okay. I told him you were with me."

Holding my breath, I read the earlier text he'd sent that Angela referred to before walking back to the table and sitting down. He'd asked about me… and wanted to talk again! That had to mean something didn't it?

Angela tapped her nails on the table. "What'd he say this time?"

"He, um, he wants to take me out for lunch… to talk." My stomach began fluttering at the idea of seeing him again and a smile tugged at my lips.

"Wow. Are you gonna go?"

My eyes filled with tears as I raised my eyes to her. "I'm in love with him, Ange. Of course I'm gonna meet him."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

**See? Edward can see reason when he wants to! LOL. **

**Do you think he was out of line to look in Bella's bedroom?**

**Next update isn't far off. I've already got over 4, 000 words done. :) Yay!**


	17. Revelations

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

**Thanks goes to my wonderful sister, **Belindella**, for her incredible and consistent help with this story, being my soundboard, mentor and pre-reader/beta – You're the best! Thanks to my amazing prereaders, **Lettersie17, b00ks4u **and **Arwen01**, for their continued help, suggestions and encouragement. I don't know what I'd do without your advice! And to **adt216 **for betaing this chapter and for her patience with my misplaced commas! **

**Thank you all for your wonderful words of encouragement and support. I just love reading your reviews; they make my creativity flow faster :)**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Revelations**

**Week two: Tuesday:**

**Bella:**

Walking towards the colorful, artsy style café, I shivered from the nippy breeze and pulled my open hoodie closer around me. The sleeveless dress I wore wasn't enough to shield me from the chill in the air, and as much as I was grateful for the old hoodie I found in the trunk of the car, the light brown clashed with my gray dress. The zipper didn't work on my hoodie and the left cuff was frayed; however, as long as it warmed the goose bumps on my arms, I didn't care.

Feeling the hairs on the back of my neck rise up and prickle, I paused and looked both ways down the busy street. I had a strange feeling like I was being watched and looked around for Edward. I searched the faces of those I could see, but saw no one I recognized.

Feeling like a fool, I chided myself for being paranoid. Meeting my prior boss for a private lunch was screwing with my head.

I followed a bunch of business men inside and hoped Edward would be here already. I didn't want to wait by myself. Swallowing my flittering nerves, I stopped just inside the door to look for him.

I was relieved Edward wanted to meet in a café rather than a fancy restaurant. Angela and I—often with Henry in tow—frequently met up for lunch or had coffee and cake at different café's around the city, but I hadn't been to this one before.

Briefly admiring the old, black and white photographs of Seattle along the dark red wall, I saw him, sitting alone at a small black table in the back, looking at the picture on the wall next to him. I'd know his chaotic, reddish brown hair and square jaw anywhere.

A smile spread over my face.

There sat the man I loved.

The man who made my heart trip and bash against my ribs.

The man who's green eyes lit up and glimmered whenever he grinned.

The man who…

Who'd called me a slut.

My spirits sunk along with my smile at the memory. The shameful sadness that'd crushed my heart when Edward had called me that the other night had eclipsed the agony I'd felt when my _own father_ had spat that word at me four years ago.

I thought I'd known what a broken heart had felt like, but I'd been mistaken. It would have hurt hearing_ anyone_ call me a slut, but when _Edward_ had said it… along with my guilt and his disappointment in me… God!

Nothing leaves a scar quite like cutting words from the people we love.

Now was not the time to dwell on his painful, angry words, so I lifted my head high and began maneuvering through the unseated customers. I drank in his black jeans and the way his green button up shirt complimented his broad, musclely shoulders. Under his eyes, lilac crescents showed he hadn't slept well, and I felt horrible, suspecting I was the chief cause of his restlessness. He looked at his watch and ran a hand over his face.

I was grateful he hadn't seen me yet as it gave me time to steel myself. Despite my lower back aching and my breasts and feet hurting from being squashed into bras and shoes that weren't mine, I squared my shoulders and straightened my back. Though I didn't feel confident or a hundred percent well at the moment, I wanted to look like I was.

Edward checked his watch before turning his head to look over the bustling patrons. He looked twice when he saw me, and the surprise in his eyes lifted my hopes until his expression became serious. A wall.

My steps faltered, my nerves returning full force. He was still upset with me. My mouth turned dry while moisture coated my palms. The closer I got to him, the more my anxiety increased along with my heart rate. What if he still despised me? What if this lunch meeting was a cover for him to return my things to me? Had I raised my hopes for nothing?

Before I reached his table, he'd moved to his feet. I felt like I was standing in front of my high school principle. I ran a hand over my stomach, smoothing the material of Angela's sleeveless, empire line, sun dress while I pulled the front of the hoodie around me a little more like a shield.

"Hello, Edward."

He nodded in greeting, his mouth opening and closing twice before he spoke three words that washed over me as smooth and sweet as a wave of melted chocolate.

"Thanks for coming."

**-xxx-**

**Edward:**

Where was she?

I looked around as more people entered but didn't see Bella. I'd arrived at the café ten minutes early, not wanting to miss her.

Last night, I'd been confused and angry, so I'd called my step-mom and talked to her for over an hour. Though I didn't reveal anything about my night with Bella, Esme had listened as I boasted about Henry, discussed work, and complained about Rose and that douche bag boyfriend of hers. I'd asked Esme about the Single Mother's Charity Ball she was helping with, and she'd blown me away with the news that Rose was helping, too. Esme had asked me to make myself available and participate in the "bid for a date" to raise more funds. Male meat auction would have been a better term for what it was. I'd declined, saying I'd donate money _not _to attend instead.

Esme had taken my mind off of Bella by doing what she did best… making me feel loved and accepted.

Sitting in the café, I still felt angry at Bella for lying in the first place, as well as afterwards, but I was willing to put my hurt aside… for Henry's sake.

He needed her back.

Lifting my eyes, I did a double take when I saw her.

Like two hands squeezing my heart, I remembered her telling me she was Marie. The memory returned with such force, I felt like my lungs had shrunk to half their size.

Though she walked with her head high, her anxious eyes betrayed her confident cover.

Rising to my feet to greet her, I reminded myself why I'd asked her here. This wasn't a date or an opportunity to ogle her hardware or her long legs beneath her dress. This was a business meeting. I had important things to say and ask, so I straightened my features out and tried to appear unfazed by her beauty.

"Hello, Edward."

I struggled with what to say. "Thanks for coming."

I motioned for her to sit opposite me at the small table. As she bent her frame to sit, I had to glance away from gawking down the front of her dress as she took off her brown bag of a jacket and draped it over the back of her chair. I wasn't used to seeing Bella in dresses, or with her hair down and wavy…

Shifting in my seat, I cleared my throat. I didn't like the way she made my stomach feel knotted or the way my dick twitched in my pants. "Did you find the place okay?" I asked, making slight adjustments to my cutlery on its napkin.

She just nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose with her thin index finger. She seemed unsure, her hands twisting in her lap. I wanted her to feel responsible, to feel bad for what she'd done to me, but at the same time, guilt settled heavily in _my_ stomach like a brick, as I remembered how I'd yelled at her… insulted her.

Wanting to show her this was a friendly meeting, I tried to keep my voice free of bitterness and go for casual. "Have you been here before?"

She shook her head. "No. Not this one. You?"

"Once or twice. They've got great gourmet sandwiches."

She looked around, avoiding eye contact, and studied the entrance. Was she thinking about leaving?

Wanting her to stay, I gained the attention of a waiter. Bella asked him for a green tea with ginger. She did love her tea. I ordered a cappuccino and hoped the waiter would bring our drinks real quick.

After the waiter left, I took a calming breath. "You're probably wondering why I asked you to meet me for lunch."

She copied me by fixing up the crooked cutlery on her napkin. "A little. Yeah."

I waited for her to look at me. With a steady gaze, I locked onto her chocolate eyes and leaned forward a little, not wanting to share what I had to say with the surrounding tables. "I owe you an apology." She blinked, surprised, meeting my eyes. "You're a good person and… and although you lied to me, I shouldn't have lost my temper and yelled at you."

She dragged in a shaky breath. "Thank you." Her words were just above a whisper.

But I hadn't finished yet. "I also shouldn't have called you… what I did." Her breath left her in a whoosh. "If anyone deserves that title, Bella… it's me."

Her eyes became glassy, and she nodded.

She released a little chuckle, like she was in awe of my words and wiped the corners of her eyes with a trembling finger. "You have no idea how much that means to hear you say that."

Glad she'd accepted my apology, I relaxed a little.

Our waiter chose that moment to return with our drinks and ask if we were ready to order. Neither of us had even looked at the menu, though I already knew what I wanted. Bella flipped hers open quickly as I ordered a grilled wild salmon sandwich. Sneaking a peek at Bella, her brow was furrowed and pulled together, and her teeth threatened to pierce through her bottom lip as she perused the menu, reading fast.

After waiting what felt like five minutes for her to decide, I leaned towards her. "Would you like me to order for you?" I whispered. "I have an idea of what's good here."

She nodded, and her lip disappeared from between her teeth. "Okay. But I just want something small. I'm not very hungry. And, um, nothing too rich, please. Just something light. Fresh."

I frowned. "You feeling all right?"

She gave a one shoulder shrug. "It's nothing. I've just been feeling a little off lately."

Of _course_ she had.

"How 'bout the Mediterranean Salad? It's good," I offered.

Nodding, she gave me a smile that brightened her eyes, and I felt torn about having made her happy. I wanted to remain emotionally distant from her, yet I couldn't help liking her. I ordered her the salad and handed our menus to the waiter before he left us to our awkward silence.

We both sipped our drinks, the chattering noise of the surrounding people swirling around us as I tried to think of how to ask her my most pressing question. Her eyes darted around, watching everything, everyone.

"How's Henry?" she asked, her voice scratchy.

I focused on pushing the salt and pepper shakers closer together. "He, uh… he misses you. A lot."

Her chin quivered, and her eyes filled with tears as she stared at me, her eyes full of love and sadness for my boy.

"Bella…" I said, unable to stop myself from reaching my hand towards hers, wanting to touch her, to reassure her. When I realized what I was doing, I let my hand fall a few inches short of her delicate fingers. How could she make me want to comfort her so easily? Thankfully, she pulled her hands away and dipped her chin, hiding her tears behind her hands, letting her hair fall in front of her face. "Bella… look at me." After a moment, she raised her watery eyes to mine. Wanting to convey the urgency and importance of my words, I stared directly at her. "I want you to come back. Today. Now."

Her lips parted in shock. "But I thought… You were going to fire me."

Nodding, I ran a hand through my hair. "I _had_ been close to telling you to leave, but I couldn't do it. I know why you left, but I want you to come back. For Henry. He needs you. I won't lie to you. I realize it'll be difficult… knowing we've slept together, but it's only for tonight. Tomorrow you'll be back with Rose, and you can carry on working for her as though nothing happened."

Her shoulders slumped. "Edward… Are you asking me to _forget_ what happened? To carry on and pretend we haven't been together… _intimately_?" She whispered the last word, her cheeks flushing as her eyes darted side to side.

Images of her naked and writhing above me flashed through my mind, her breasts bouncing as she...

I sucked in a breath. "It's not that I regret it, or _want_ to forget…" No _way_ could I forget. "I just think that for the foreseeable future—for _Henry_—we could put our history behind us... and go back to the way things were. Although, I don't want you to think of me as your boss, since I no longer think of you as an employee." Her eyes widened, so I explained. "It makes it easier to accept what happened if… I realized last night that you don't _technically_ work for me. You work for Rose. Yes, I give Rose money for Henry's care, which goes towards your pay check, but I'd rather let you be Rose's employee, than mine."

She looked down, and I wondered if she'd taken that as an insult.

I sighed. "It's that I'd like to think of myself more as your supervisor, than your boss."

"Right." She nodded. "I get it. It does make it easier, not having you in that role anymore."

"Will you come back?" I asked, my voice softening. "For Henry?"

"I'd come back—I _would_—but… damnit!" She bit down on her bottom lip while her fingernails dug into the palm of her free hand.

"What is it?"

"It's… I've registered for an art course. It starts in two weeks time. I've already paid, and I'm really excited about it. There're three levels to complete, each level is four days long. And then after that I wanted to start college in September—to become an elementary teacher. I don't know where I'm studying yet, but I don't only _want_ to do it, I _need_ to do it—to take charge of my life, my future."

"Oh." I leaned back in my chair. I had _not_ been expecting college plans.

"When I left your place," she said, her tone soft but sure. "It made me realize that if I kept nannying, I was bound to abandon another child like Henry, and I couldn't do that again." She trailed off, and I could see how deep the pain ran through her as she lowered her eyes to the table. "I have to get out of nannying now and do something with my life. Something I enjoy that makes my life better in the long run."

"If your course starts in two weeks time, you could still come back. At least for two weeks."

She took a sip of her tea, deep in thought, before raising her eyes. "You're giving me a second chance?"

I nodded. I guess that's what I was doing.

"Does this mean…? Have you…?" She looked hopeful. "Am I forgiven?"

Diverting my eyes, I clenched my teeth.

"It's okay," she rushed. "I shouldn't have asked, I just… I really am sorry, Edward. Maybe someday…"

I shrugged. "I understand why you did it, Bella, but I can't… I can't say it if I don't mean it. I know you're sorry for what you did, but it'll take me some to…"

It wasn't the first time I'd been lied to, and it wouldn't be the last, but it only confirmed how I needed to stay on my guard.

"Then why ask me back? I mean, if you don't… then why?"

"Henry." We shared a long, meaningful look.

She took a deep breath, breaking our gaze. "I'll come back."

I blinked fast. Did I hear her right? "You will? _Today_?"

Her lips quirked. "I'd do anything for Henry."

Of course she would.

"Thank you, Bella. He'll be over the moon."

"Is he with Alice today?" She brought her tea cup to her full lips.

I cleared my throat. "Yep. He's probably giving her hell, too. He gave her a real run for her money yesterday. I had to actually pay her so she would take him today."

Bella chuckled, her laugh ending with a dreamy sigh. My heart skipped a beat, having missed her smile, her laugh. I took a few sips of my coffee, needing the distraction.

A large woman, her bulging arms full of shopping bags, bustled past our table in a hurry, heading for the door. The woman awkwardly maneuvered her big bulk around a nearby empty table, but as she did, her chubby foot—squished into one of those ballet flat type shoes—clipped the legs of the chair, and I thought she was going to fall flat on her face. She stumbled and caught herself in time, but two of her bags fell from her arms, their belongings scattering across the floor.

Bella was out of her chair before I could blink. While other people, myself included, sat back and pretended we hadn't seen the commotion, the blushing woman uneasily scrabbled on her knees for her things, and Bella was down there with her, helping. Two other patrons bent down to help the woman collect her things. I would have gotten up to help too, but I wasn't comfortable with it, so I just watched the scene like the bastard I was.

Bella smiled and holding the woman's elbow, helped her up off the floor. They exchanged quick words before the lady almost bolted out the door.

I sat in awe of Bella's kindness.

When she got back to the table, she sipped her tea as though nothing had happened. "Where were we?"

"Um…"

Our meals arrived, and Bella eyed her salad like a starved prisoner who hadn't eaten in days. "Oh! This looks delicious."

I couldn't tear my eyes away as she brought a speared forkful of salad to her mouth, her lips opening wide. As she wrapped her mouth around the prongs, a small moan left her as the food hit her tongue.

I swallowed—hard.

God, that tongue… knowing what she could do with it, how good it had felt on my body, particularly around my dick… I adjusted myself and dragged a huge breath to the bottom of my lungs before slowly releasing it.

By the time I arrive home this afternoon, Bella would be back under my roof, sleeping in the bedroom down the hall from mine. I _had_ to get these memories under control and put a lid on them.

"So… an art course?" I prompted, taking a bite of my gourmet sandwich.

"Mm-hmm." She chewed, her mouth full.

"I think an art course is a great idea." Her eyes rose to my face, surprise making them wide and intense as she studied my sincerity. "You have real talent as an artist, Bella. No doubt about that."

She smiled, but it slowly disappeared as her brow furrowed. "What do you mean I have talent as an artist? I've never shown you my work."

Oh crap.

I cursed my big mouth and hoped I hadn't ruined the chance of her coming back. Knowing I needed to fess up, I took a deep breath and dabbed my mouth with my napkin. "I have a confession. Yesterday… I found your sketchbook on your bedroom floor. I know it was wrong of me to be in there, especially when I'd sworn not to—but I couldn't resist looking through it."

She just sat there, staring at me with a glazed look in her eye.

"I apologize, Bella. I shouldn't have gone in there. But I just… I guess I just…"

"Yes?"

"I was curious."

"About…?"

"About you… to learn more about you. When you lied to me, it confused the hell out of me. I wanted to know if you really were the person you said you were."

She bit her lip. "And what conclusion did you come to?"

"I asked you to come back, didn't I?"

She nodded and gave me a beautiful, reassuring smile. "I guess I should be flattered you wanted to know more about me. It's your house after all, and… If I didn't want you to see my art, I probably shouldn't have left it lying on the floor."

She may have forgiven me, but I didn't mention that I also snooped through her photo album. Somehow her private pictures seemed worse.

She took a sip of her tea then looked up, concerned. "Did you tell Rose I'd resigned?"

I tensed, not having thought about _her _telling Rose. "No. Did you?"

Bella shook her head, and I breathed easy. "Good thing I didn't," she said. "I'd been dreading that phone call, but now… Besides seeing Henry again, I guess this means I can help Rose find and train another nanny. I hated the thought of leaving her in the lurch like that."

Bella and her big heart.

I nodded. "She'd appreciate your help, I'm sure. You might also be able to get Henry used to the idea of you not being his nanny anymore. Might lessen the blow when you leave for real."

Her face fell, and I wanted to punch myself for making her smile vanish.

**-xxx-**

I arrived back at the office a short time later, feeling lighter than I had in days. While we'd eaten, Bella had asked me about the Impala and how the restoration was going. I told her it would be arriving tomorrow afternoon. Unfortunately she would be back with Rose then, so she wouldn't be able to see it with its new paint job and interior.

I'd pumped Bella full of questions regarding her art course and college plans, and I'd meant it when I'd told her she'd make a great teacher. I could imagine her playing with paint and clay all day long, making a whole classroom of kids laugh as she made learning fun. I knew there was more to being a teacher than that, but the simplicity of the vision made me smile.

"Hey, Jess," I said as I approached her desk, heading to my office.

She withdrew her bare feet from off her desk and fumbled to put her shoes back on. "Sorry, Mr. Cullen, I was just…" She looked up at me and did a double take as I passed her desk. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Donut?"

"Nope. I'm good." Walking into my office, I stopped and turned around, going back to Jessica's desk. "Why don't you call it a day and go home?"

She gaped at me, unsure. "Mr. Cullen, have I… have I done something wrong?" She looked confused. "My feet are swollen which is why I had them on—"

"Jessica. Calm down. It's just an afternoon off. You deserve it after how hard you've worked lately."

When she realized I was serious, her expression changed drastically like I'd just given her a huge pay rise. I hoped she wasn't going to make a scene and jump up and hug me or anything. "Are you kidding? I… Wow. I don't—I don't know what to say."

I motioned towards the exit and chuckled. "Get out of here before I change my mind."

That got her moving. She gathered up her things, thanking me quickly before she raced to the elevators.

After the way I'd treated her yesterday, an afternoon off was the least I could do.

As I sat down in my office chair, I couldn't help feeling that Bella would have been proud of my generosity.

The rest of the day flew by, busier since I had to answer my own calls, but my mind was at home, wondering if Bella was there yet and what she and Henry were doing. I could just imagine how excited Henry had been when he'd seen her.

Driving home, my foot refused to go light on the accelerator and kept pushing me over the speed limit. I hated slowing down as it seemed a little girl on a bike could overtake me.

My cell phone rang, so I answered on speaker phone.

"Hello?"

"Edward? It's me, Rose."

Great. The other woman that'd lied to me. "Anything wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong. Can you talk?" I detected a hint of concern in her voice. _Something_ was up. "Where are you?" she asked. "It sounds like you're in your truck. Have you got me on speaker?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you're on speaker. I'm ten minutes from home, and before you ask… no one's with me."

"Oh. Okay… um…" She sighed as if hesitant to talk.

"What is it, Rose?"

"I'd hopped to catch you at home, but the house phone rang out. It's getting late here, so…"

Why hadn't Bella answered the home phone? I pushed the accelerator down a little more, hoping she and Henry were okay.

I sped through a yellow light but slowed as I approached the next corner. "Just say what you've got to say."

"Okay… I'm, ah… I'm getting married."

My left wheel jumped the curb.

"Shit!" I jerked the car back on the road and hoped I'd heard her wrong. "You're kidding right?"

"I'm sorry to tell you over the phone, but…"

Bella sprung into my head, and again, I was glad she'd told me her news in person instead of over the phone when she'd had her chance. At least she'd had the guts to tell me properly.

Rose sighed. "Royce popped the question a few hours ago at dinner, and I don't know… I thought if I told you now, before we got home tomorrow, you'd have time to think about it and be less inclined to do something rash, like maybe come over and punch him or something."

"_Punch_ him? What the hell, Rose? I'm not some jealous lover of yours. I might think he's a dickhead and don't like the idea of him being around Henry, but I wouldn't punch him for proposing to you."

She sighed down the phone line. "I'm sorry. I just thought having an ocean between us might make this easier."

I bit back a retort and took a deep breath. Could the problems in my life get any worse? "So, now what?" I asked, my wheels squealing as I took the next corner too fast, pissing off some other motorist who blasted their horn. "Don't tell me you're inviting me to the wedding?" My tone was bitter. I wished I could tell her I was happy for her, but I couldn't. I'd rather be dead before I welcomed Royce King into my family.

"No. But we've set a date."

"Fuck." I groaned and scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to keep calm. How could this be happening? She'd known the bastard for less than four months! She was a grown woman though, and free to make her own decisions—and mistakes—no matter how much I disagreed with her choice. "When?"

"September eighteenth."

"_This_ year?"

"I know it's only three months away, but he's certain we'll get everything organized before then. He wanted to have it on the eleventh, but Bella's birthday is on the thirteenth. I didn't want to have to ask her to work on her birthday since she'll have to look after Henry for two weeks while we're on our honeymoon. And I wanted to send her to California for her birthday weekend." She took a breath and waited.

However, I couldn't catch my breath. I just stared at the road, not blinking, not seeing. Her kindness to Bella softened my anger towards her, but realizing _Royce_ would get to spend more time with my son than me had my stomach churning.

I knew I shouldn't be driving.

"Edward? You still there?"

Pulling over, I ripped the gearstick into park but kept the engine idling.

After a quick and tightly controlled conversation with Rose, I promised her I'd pass on her love to Henry and that she'd see him tomorrow. We said tense goodbyes before we hung up, and I drove the rest of the way home, deep in thought. I couldn't believe Rose wanted that shallow prick to be a permanent figure in Henry's life. She'd told me she wanted a man again, a husband who would take care of her and pamper her, and who'd be a friend and mentor to Henry. But would Henry call Royce "daddy?" My skin prickled at the thought, knowing it could very well happen.

And I was powerless to stop it.

I parked my truck in the garage, and with a heavy heart and mind, I checked on the Koi fish in the big fish tank. They were going good, with no sign of disease, so I decided to release them into the pond tomorrow morning, while Henry was still here.

Dragging my feet, I trudged towards the kitchen side door. The closer I got to the house, the lighter my footsteps became as I heard Bella and Henry laughing, loud kid music pumping through the walls. Tonight would be the last night they'd be here, filling my house with noise, laughter and warmth.

Tomorrow night… I'd come back to this big, cold house, eat alone, and then rise to a silent, empty home.

I didn't like the thought of having to go back to that, but it'd been quite a while since I'd accepted the fact I'd be alone for the rest of my life. The emptiness of my house was easier to deal with compared to the agony of failing again in a relationship, of placing my trust in someone who'd only betray me.

When I'd been with Rose, I'd fully believed my marriage would last forever, so when it had ended…

I wasn't going to experience that type of devastating disappointment and pain again.

This lonely life I'd created had been all right for the past few years. Whenever I got lonesome, I was always able to find a willing woman that numbed that feeling for a while. I'd been able to separate business from pleasure—until now.

Asking Bella to come back had been the right thing to do for Henry, but for me… it made things complicated.

I'd seen her wild side.

Like a timid kitten morphing into a tigress, I knew what a wildcat she was in the sack.

How could I not desire a woman like that?

On paper, Bella appeared to be my perfect woman. She could be both sweet and sexy, a saint and a sinner, the librarian and the stripper. Like a teasing tornado, she whipped my blood into a frenzy. But it didn't matter how fantastic I thought she was, I wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone.

In the past, I'd rejected the thought of being with Bella because I'd thought she would have wanted a real relationship—one full of romance and crap.

However, I knew she wanted me. She'd told me herself, and I'd seen it firsthand. She'd desired me so much she lied to me about her identity, just to have sex with me.

I understood she wasn't a slut or into one night stands with strangers, but she'd been okay with having casual sex with _me_ once before, so…

Perhaps she'd want to show me her wild side again.

* * *

**Chapter end note:**

***smirks* **

**What do you think of Edward's new idea?**

**What problems can you see arising from it?**

**Hmmm. Bella's not feeling too well...**

**Love hearing your thoughts and predictions. They help and inspire me so much!**

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**Take care until next time, lovelies!**

**Nyomi xx**


	18. My Exception

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight character names, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie? **_No copyright infringement intended.

**-xxx-**

**A huge thank you goes to the following extraordinary women: **Belinda**, **Colette**, **Meredith**,** Silvia**,** Ann **and** Lezlee**. Without their wonderful help and continued support, this story would be a mess!**

**I can't believe this story went over 1500 reviews last chapter! I'm still shocked. :) Thank you all so much for your wonderful feedback! Your reviews truly are the best encouragement and guide! **

**After moving house recently, I'm now going back to uni for the year, so my free time will be limited even more. I have every plan to finish this story, though! It may take me longer to update, but I will see it through :) I do hope you'll stay with me!**

* * *

**Chapter 18: My Exception**

**Week two, Tuesday:**

**Edward:**

The music coming from inside the house got louder as I walked towards the kitchen side door. A smile tugged at my lips. It sounded like they were having a party.

After wiping my feet on the doormat, I opened the kitchen side door, and my smile grew when Henry squealed with laughter.

"Daddy!" he yelled, running into my arms. "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"

"Hey, buddy." I picked him up and kissed his forehead. That's when I noticed his apron and white kerchief around his head acting as a chef's hat. "Aren't you a picture?"

"Daddy, guess who's here?" Henry asked. "Guess!"

"I don't know. Who?" I carried him through the Butler's pantry and into the kitchen, loving how excited he was.

"Bella! Bella's back! She came back!" As soon as I turned the corner, my breath caught at the sight of her. I couldn't take my eyes off her as Henry continued to ramble. "I knew she'd come back! See, Daddy? I knew she'd come back!"

Bella smiled warmly. She had flour streaked on her cheek and T-shirt. "Hey."

It was great to see her so comfortable in my house again.

"Hey," I replied, putting Henry down and walking further in. "How you doin', Bella?" I kept my eyes on her as I dumped my briefcase on a kitchen stool since there wasn't an inch of counter space.

"I'm good. Thanks." Bella leaned her hip against the counter, drying her hands with a dish towel. I nodded at her then watched Henry climb onto a chair that had been pulled against the counter. He began stirring something in a large white bowl.

"Wow," I said. "You guys are cooking up a storm in here." With my hand on Henry's head, I looked at what he was stirring. "What you making, bud?"

"It's a chocolate cake. For you." Henry said, before waving the wooden spoon in front of my face. "Want some? It's yummy. _I_ cracked the eggs—all by myself."

I chuckled and glanced at Bella.

"He's been such a good helper," she said, a playful smile on her face. "I tried to get most of the egg shells out but…"

I dragged my finger across Henry's wooden spoon, coating my finger in chocolate batter and stuck it in my mouth. "Mmm. That _is_ good!"

Henry giggled his adorable laugh, and for a moment I forgot all about Rose's news and the knowledge that Royce would soon be privileged to see my son morethan me.

"Told you!" Henry said, trying to stick the entire wooden spoon into his mouth, spreading chocolate cake mix all around his lips.

"How much of this have you had?" I asked him, chuckling as I tore off a paper towel and wiped his sticky mouth, nose, cheeks and hands. "It's gonna spoil your dinner."

"Bella said I could."

Bella turned from the sink, an apologetic expression on her face. "Um, I know it's late for him to be having sweets, but I… I couldn't say no to him. Not today. If it helps, I used Stevia sweetener and apple sauce instead of sugar, so it won't give him a sugar high."

"Oh. Where'd you get the sweetener from?"

"I stopped at a health food store on my way here to get some chamomile tea and a few extra things."

"Huh." I took another swipe of the batter from the bowl, sucking it off my finger with a pop. I could taste the apple sauce now but didn't mind it at all. I rather liked her attentiveness regarding Henry's sugar levels. "What time did you get here?" I asked her.

She pushed off the counter and walked to the stove, lifting a pot lid and filling the air with steam. She looked into the pot, her back to me. "About two o'clock. Alice didn't get back until almost four, so I did some housework until—"

"You didn't need to clean up."

She dipped a teaspoon into what looked like Bolognese sauce in the fry pan on the other burner and tasted it before adding a pinch of salt. "It's my job to clean."

I grimaced. "Your job is Henry, not—" I stopped speaking when she looked at me, her brow rising.

Putting down the teaspoon, she strode past me, humor in her eyes. "It's fine, Edward. I'm a nanny. It's expected." She opened the fridge and roughly pulled out the bag of parmesan cheese. "Even you asked that I do light cleaning. That's what I get paid for." She walked past me again, placing the cheese on the counter. "Besides, if you told me not to because of… I don't want special treatment."

Not to mention people could also get suspicious. Though Bella technically worked for Rose, she was still my son's nanny no matter how I looked at it. Sleeping with the nanny would no doubt cause some society tongues to wag, but I didn't care.

Sex with Bella was worth the gossip.

Did that mean I considered Bella my friend again?

Yeah. I guess it did.

As I watched Bella move gracefully around my kitchen, I imagined what it could be like to be in a friend with benefits situation with her. I liked it.

No strings.

Hot sex.

No risk of disappointment. Of being hurt.

But could I keep my feelings for her as a friend separate?

Did that mean I'd forgiven her as well? Just because I liked her, didn't mean I wasn't still angry. But did I have to forgive her to have sex with her?

My annoyance at her was already steadily decreasing with the fantasy of having her again.

But when to ask her…?

Bella looked at us boys and jerked her head towards the exit. "Why don't you two go watch TV or something while I put the cake in the oven? I'll be—"

"No," Henry whined, shaking his head. "I wanna stay with _you_."

She moved closer to Henry, closer to me, looking straight at my son. I took a deep breath, and my dick twitched. Coconuts and citrus. God, she smelled good. I licked my lips.

"Go watch TV with your dad, sweetie," she cooed to Henry, running her hand over his blond curls. "I'm not going anywhere." She flashed me a look I couldn't decipher.

"No! I wanna stay with _you_," Henry repeated, clawing her shirt like a desperate kitten.

_Desperate._

"It's all right," I said, having no wish to force Henry to spend time with me, no matter how much I'd looked forward to some one on one time with him before he had to leave tomorrow.

Bella sighed softly, wrapping her arms around my boy. So caring, so motherly. "Can you be my little helper and set the table then?" she asked. He nodded, and she stepped back so he could jump down from his chair. "Okay. Here's two glasses. Be careful. That's it, both hands." She placed them in his hands, and he strutted into the next room.

Bella turned to me and ran a hand over her hair before adjusting her glasses. "He's been my shadow all afternoon."

"He missed you."

She looked towards the dining room door where Henry had disappeared. "At first, he was glued to my side. He even insisted I accompany him to the bathroom. He's getting better though. I'm glad to see he's relaxing a little."

Henry walked back in, a proud smile on his face. "Done. What next?"

"Good job, dude," she said, pride bubbling in her voice. I knew it was for more than just putting the glasses on the table. Bella pulled out some cutlery and gave them to Henry. "Can you put the forks and spoons around for us, too?" He smiled and rushed off again, eager to please.

**-xxx-**

"Is he asleep?" Bella asked me as she sat curled on the sofa, leaning on the armrest in a black tank top which showed miles of her creamy skin. When I saw her wearing another pair of flannel pajama bottoms covered in black and white cartoon cows, I wondered if she had a thing about cows or if the pajamas were on a good special—like two for one.

Either way, I liked knowing she felt comfortable enough around me to wear her normal night gear. Still… I couldn't wait to see her in something sexy.

"Yeah, he's asleep," I said, collapsing at the other end of the sofa, putting my feet up on the coffee table. "Took six books tonight, but he finally succumbed."

"It's nice you got some extra time with him."

I nodded, but I didn't want to think of how he'd be leaving tomorrow. "Yeah. He had nightmares last night."

Henry had woken up screaming, crying for his mommy and for Bella. Tonight, he had put up an award winning fight, refusing to go to sleep. Bella and I knew he was afraid she wouldn't be here when he woke up, but we promised him again and again that she wasn't going anywhere. We'd shared a look, knowing she _would _be leaving soon, but neither of us said anything. Not yet.

Bella hugged the cushion to her. "I'll leave my bedroom door open tonight. Just in case he wakes up."

"Thanks, Bella. I'm sure he'll be okay since you're back."

She nodded and twisted behind her to turn on the lamp. Her tight shirt pulled up and a slither of milky belly skin taunted my hungry eyes. She chuckled as she turned back around, having no idea of my dark thoughts. "Alice told me Henry didn't have an afternoon nap today, so he's probably exhausted. Running on fumes."

"What're we watching?" I asked, nodding towards the TV, needing a distraction from my wandering thoughts.

"Oh. It's just _Law & Order: SVU_. You can change it if you want."

"Nah. It's okay."

As we watched the show, my mind started wandering, thinking over Rose's news and how it would impact me and Henry.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Bella said with a teasing tone, looking at me. "Why are you frowning?" I blinked, unaware she'd even been watching me. "You look like you're far away."

"Uh… Just thinking about what Rose told me this afternoon."

"Oh." She turned towards me a little. "Is it anything you wanna talk about?"

She was going to find out anyway. "She told me she's agreed to marry Royce King."

"What? She's…? Oh my God! _When_?"

I chuckled bitterly, glad to see Bella just as shocked by the news as I was. "_He_ wants to get married in three months. September the… the eighteenth."

"Whoa. _September?_ That's pretty quick." Bella looked over at me, concerned. "You okay with it?"

"Not really. I don't get why she chose _him_ of all people? He's nothing but a self-absorbed, superficial bastard."

Bella tilted her head. "How well do you know him?"

"The first time I met him was a few years ago at a charity dinner. I've run into him a few times since then. He always had a different girl hanging off his arm." All of them looked like they were in college, too. Perky tits and tight clothes. "It makes me wonder how serious he is about Rose. How long it's going to last."

Bella shrugged. "He's serious enough to propose."

"Yeah. He's the charmer, and Rose is the venomous cobra. It's just a matter of time 'til he gets bitten."

"Do you still care for her?"

My eyes darted to her, taken aback by her question. Her probing eyes flickered over my face.

I shrugged. "Well… Yeah. Rose is Henry's mother. I certainly don't wish her harm. We may not get along very well, but she'll always be a part of my life. But I don't want to get back together with her if that's what you're thinking. I don't care if she wants to marry again. I just wish it wasn't to Royce King."

Bella gave me a brief, sad smile.

"I just—" I stopped to kick off my shoes and put my socked feet back on the table. "I just hate the idea of Royce being the one to see my son almost everyday, you know? To tuck him into bed and play catch with him. What if Henry starts calling _him_ daddy?" I looked outside, seeing the sky had turned dark already.

"Edward… You'll always be Henry's father. No one can take that from you. He loves you so much. No one can replace you. Rose must believe Royce is a good guy, though. Good enough to want him to be such a big part of Henry's life, you know?"

"But haven't _you_ noticed how much of a prick he is? I don't trust him."

She nodded. "Yeah. He says 'jump' and she says 'how high'?"

"Exactly. That's not Rose. Rose _gives _the orders; she doesn't take them. It's like he's brainwashed her or something."

"It's love," Bella said, playing with the seam of the cushion. "People do stupid things when they're in love." Touché. "A couple of months ago, he took Rose to the theater. She was so excited to wear this stunning yellow dress she'd paid a fortune for, but when he arrived, he took one look at her and told her to go change. And she did! It shocked the hell out of me. I could tell it hurt her feelings, but she didn't say anything. It reminded me of my dad when he met Sue."

She blinked before gazing back at the TV, like she regretted saying so much.

"Why?" I asked. "What happened with your dad?"

She unravelled her legs and stood up. "I'm gonna make myself a tea. Want one?"

"Uh… Yeah, okay."

"Okay."

She padded barefoot out the room. Her baggy pajama pants hung low on her hips, looking like floppy, thick trunks around her thin legs. I loved the contrast from her tight top to her loose pants.

But hang on… Did she offer to get me a drink because she thought she had to? Because she was the nanny?

"Hold up, Bella." I got to my feet, too. "I'll help you."

She didn't look back as I followed her through the great room, slyly watching her tight, little ass jiggle beneath her pants right up until we entered the softly lit kitchen.

While she flicked the kettle on and pulled down two mugs, I got the milk from the fridge.

"I'm having chamomile," she said. "Do you want one, too?"

"Chamomile? Where'd you find that?" There's no way I'd buy that sissy stuff.

"I bought it today."

"Oh."

"Do you want it? It helps you relax."

I shook my head. "No. Thanks."

She placed a regular black tea bag in my mug. Recalling her mentioning her dad, I got a flash of his mustache and stern face from the photos I'd seen of him. A twinge of guilt prickled inside me, knowing I hadn't been completely honest with her at lunch. God, I was a hypocrite. I'd been mad about _her _keeping secrets from me, yet here I was doing the same damn thing.

"Bella…?"

"Mm?" She poured the boiling water into the mugs, the tea bags swirling in the steaming water.

"I ah… I didn't _just_ see your sketchbook yesterday."

"What do you mean?"

"In your room… I saw your photo album too."

"Oh." She blinked, slowly scooping a teaspoon of sugar into my mug.

"The drawer was open, and I looked through it. I'm sorry."

She briefly met my eyes. "It's fine." She poured the milk in and started beating the sugar granules with the spoon, the sound hurting my ears as she repeatedly hit the side of the mug.

"I saw your mom and dad."

She froze. Silent.

I took a step closer, until I was only a few feet away from her. "I'd like to know what happened with you and your dad. Why'd you fall out with him?"

"It's a long story," she said, resuming the sugar beating.

I decided to push, just a little. If I was going to let her get close to me again, I wanted to know her darkest secret, the thing she kept closest to her.

"I'd really like to know, Bella. Please."

She turned her head and studied me for a long moment, her intense eyes looking for something in mine. I gave her a crooked smile which made her sigh, resigned.

"Put the milk away," she said, before picking up both our mugs and brushing past me.

I threw the milk back into the fridge before striding back to the den. She nodded at the spot next to her on the couch.

"Pull up a seat," she said with a little grin.

I sat at the other end of the sofa and bent one knee up onto the seat between us while I stretched the other leg out along the floor.

Picking up her mug from the table, she took a sip before she turned sideways, folding her legs pretzel style and hugging one of the little cushions to her stomach.

"I've warned you it's a long story," she said, her eyes nervous but with a glint of excitement. Or maybe it was relief. It didn't matter. I was excited enough for both of us.

"We got all night, cowgirl."

"_Cowgirl_?"

I pointed to her pajama pants, and she burst out laughing. I beamed, having missed her laugh. "Seems you like cows."

She also liked riding me cowgirl style, so the nickname seemed fitting.

She shook her head, her smile still remaining. "Cowgirl…" she repeated, as though getting a feel for it. "Okay…"

Grinning, I bent forward and collected my tea, taking a sip and nodding at her, letting her know she could start any time.

She took a deep breath. "When I was half way through my senior year, my dad met and married this woman named Sue. She was a thirty-eight year old waitress who reeked of cheap perfume and hairspray, even _after_ she showered. She was nice. But after she moved in… let's just say she got on my nerves _constantly_." Bella took a sip of her tea and remained holding her cup, wrapping both her hands around it as if drawing on its heat.

"My dad was smitten with her. Or call it blinded. It doesn't matter. Just like Rose, when Sue said 'jump' my dad asked 'how high?' He kept telling me _I _needed to compromise; _I_ needed to try harder and that _I_ couldn't spoil things for him. The stupid bitch… I told you how close my dad and I were before she came. I never thought some _bimbo_ would come between us, but she did. In the end, he chose her over me." Her voice was shaky, pained. "Even called me a slut…"

"_She_ called you that?"

"They both did."

Fuck. My stomach dropped.

Bella looked at the TV, and as I studied her side profile, I could see her eyes were watery. "The night after my eighteenth birthday… Sue burst into my bedroom and caught me with Garrett. He was my boyfriend."

Then it dawned on me. "Oh_._ Were you two…_busy_?"

Bella snickered. "I was…I was _blowing _him," she said, lowering her voice.

Fuck. Her wicked talents at giving head exploded through my memory. My eyes dipped to her mouth. My dick stirred. Twitched. She bit her lip.

I put a cushion over my crotch.

I didn't like the thought of her with someone else, but I couldn't help being turned on as well.

Bella gave me a coy smirk, and I wondered if she knew what I was thinking, what she was doing to me. "You know how Henry will act up if he doesn't get our attention, like he's determined to get _some_ attention so any attention will do? Even if it's bad?"

"Mm-mm." What did Henry's behavior have to do with blow jobs?

"Well, that's what I was like. When Dad started dating Sue, I hated that I gradually became invisible to him. He stopped asking me to help him in the garage because he spent every waking moment with Sue. After having his undivided attention for years, I was _desperate_ for attention. _Any _attention. So Ispent most of my free time with my friends. We went to loads of parties, and much to Dad's frustration I started drinking and dressing… se_xy._ It's amazing how guys suddenly look at you when you show a bit of cleavage or ass."

Was this the same Bella sitting in front of me in cow print pajamas? Who frequently wore jeans, T-shirts and oversized flannels? I guessed it was the "Marie" side of her.

"I met Garrett at a beach party," she said. "He'd moved to Port Angeles the year before and worked at the local hardware store with his dad. He quickly became known around town as the bad boy. He was two years older than me and…"

"What is it with girls and bad boys?" I shook my head, and Bella chuckled. "So you got with this dude to get your dad's attention?"

Bella shrugged. I took it as a yes. "My dad told me Garrett had been arrested for underage drinking, and he didn't want me to see him anymore. I didn't see Garrett for a few days, hoping Dad would spend time with me, but he didn't, so I went back to seeing Garrett. I knew Dad didn't like Garrett which of course made him all the more attractive. We spent almost every waking moment together."

"And then Sue caught you?"

"Yeah. She flipped out. I thought it was hilarious since she was such a flirt herself, but then she called me a worthless slut like my mother. It was the final straw. I saw red and lost it. I started slapping and punching her. I screamed at her to take it back. She didn't." My mouth dropped open. Bella looked a little embarrassed. "Yeah, not my finest moment. Garrett pulled me off her and took me to his place."

I couldn't imagine her raising an aggressive hand to anyone. But for some reason, knowing she had that kind of fire in her… I liked it. "You really punched her?"

Anger sparked in her eyes. Defensive. "She insulted my mom. I mean, how _dare _she come into my life and insult my mother?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that was low."

"Anyway… I spent the next week with Garrett at his house, waiting—_hoping_—for my dad to come get me."

"Why? Was this Garrett dude bad to you?"

"No. Not like that. I was hoping Dad would finally see Sue for who she really was—that she'd driven me away from him. I hoped he'd miss me and want me back, you know? But he didn't come."

I released a heavy breath while Bella drew patterns on her knee, seeming lost in her memories.

"Did Garrett have his own place," I asked. "Or did he live with his dad?"

"He lived above his dad's garage."

"His dad didn't mind you staying there?"

"He tried to talk me into going home, but I didn't want to."

"So what happened then?" I asked, my eyes glued to her.

Bella's face became serious, sadness swirling in her chocolate depths. "Um… Well, after staying a week at Garrett's I was pretty sad. He asked me to drive over to the shops to get him another pack of smokes and some groceries. When I got into town, people were giving me dirty looks and whispering. I heard someone say Garrett's name, and that him and I had beaten up Sue. I knew Sue had a tendency to exaggerate things to make her out to be the victim. I couldn't stand the looks, the judgment. It was like everyone was screaming 'slut' in their minds. So I got in my car and drove back without the groceries, and… when I got back I…I caught Garrett doing another girl. I never thought he'd cheat on me, but he… When it rains it pours, you know? In one week I'd lost my boyfriend _and_ my dad. They'd both rejected me for someone else. Made me feel like horse shit."

My hands clenched into fists. "This guy, _Garrett_…" I couldn't help seething his name. "He wasn't your first, was he?"

She nodded and ducked her head. That cocksucker! "Yeah he was. First and only. Until you."

_Me._

But that means… only two guys, four years apart?

My heart stopped, realizing just how much it had meant that she'd chosen to be with me, how special she thought I was. Damnit. She'd risked so much that night. Not only her job, but her heart too. But what was worse was that I'd done the exact same thing as Garrett. I'd used her only for the night. Was I really gonna ask her to do that again? Could I ask her to risk her heart again, her _morals_, for sex?

"After I caught Garrett," she said with a sombre voice. "He told me we'd just been having fun. I couldn't believe it. Back then, I thought he loved me. I know _now_ that what we had wasn't love, but it still hurt."

My stomach churned with guilt.

Sitting there, I was stunned with profound gratitude that I hadn't opened my big fat mouth and asked her to be my bed buddy.

Fuck. How screwed up was I for wanting that in the first place? What the hell had I been thinking? I knew what I'd been thinking _with_, but where had my thoughts for _her_ been? Where had my concern for _her_ gone? Why hadn't I thought about _her_ and how _she'd _feel?

I didn't like Royce because of how selfish and shallow he was and yet I…

Bella deserved so much more than my pathetic, horny ass. She deserved a proper, deep and meaningful relationship with a guy who didn't have so many relationship hang-ups as me.

"What'd you do then?" My voice was scratchy, high pitched.

"I got my things and walked back home. I didn't _want_ to go back to Sue without an apology first, but I didn't have anywhere else to go. I remember opening my front door and Dad blocking the hallway. When I saw his arms crossed over his chest, I knew he was still angry. And you know what he said?" I shook my head. "He asked me what the hell I was thinking, inviting _two_ boys into my room to have _sex_ with me and then beating the shit out of Sue. I said, '_Two_? It was just me and Garrett.' Sue had lied about what really happened to Dad, too, but he'd believed her over me. Again. Dad called me a slut and told me I may was well move in with my pimp if I was gonna be Garrett's whore. "

Oh, _shit_.

"It gutted me," she said, biting her bottom lip. "I begged my dad to believe me that it wasn't true, but he refused to even look at me." Bella took a deep breath and sighed. "So I decided to leave. I phoned Angela while I packed and asked if I could catch a ride with her to Seattle. I knew she was leaving that afternoon 'cause we had a farewell party for her the night before. It was the best timing. Ange said I could stay with her in her new apartment too—gimme time to figure out what I was gonna do."

"I'm liking Angela more and more."

Bella nodded. "She's an awesome friend. The absolute best. She's _always _been there for me." Her lips pressed together and her chin started quivering. Turning to face the TV, her eyes filled with water. "I haven't seen or heard from Dad since that day."

She brought her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She looked so sad, so vulnerable.

She'd bravely exposed her soul with all its secrets and fears.

To _me_!

Noticing a tear streak down her cheek, I scooted closer and draped my arm around her shoulders. "Hey. It's all right."

Her breath hitched on a sob, but she kept it in.

I gently pulled her towards me.

She didn't resist.

With her cheek on my shoulder, I could feel how tense she was with the effort to keep her emotions in.

"I'm sorry 'bout your dad," I said, brushing the hair off her face, wanting to apologize for so much more than her shitty past. "Having seen you and him together in your photo album… it's clear he loved you." She raised a hand to her wet cheek. "Fathers don't give up easily on their daughters. I'm sure he still loves you, Bella. You're his little girl."

I slowly rocked her fragile frame back and forth.

Earlier tonight, all I'd wanted to do was sleep with her, now… I just wanted to protect her. To comfort her.

Time crept by as I held her, and when her breath calmed and slowed, I thought she'd fallen asleep.

I brushed her hair off her forehead so I could see her face and she raised her sleepy eyes to mine. I smiled. "Just checking you hadn't fallen asleep on me."

Her lips quirked before she yawned. "Ugh. I'm too tired to move, but if I don't, I'm gonna fall asleep right here."

Chuckling, I moved to my feet. "Come on then." I held my hands out for her. She smirked and placed her hands in mine, and I pulled her to her feet.

"Thanks," she said, standing inches away from me, gazing up into my eyes.

"Thanks for telling me."

This time, her smile reached her eyes, and I had an overwhelming desire to bend down and press my lips to hers. Her breathing deepened, and her eyelids got heavy. From lust or tiredness I didn't know.

I jerked my head towards the door. "I'll see you in the morning, _cowgirl_."

She chuckled once. "Goodnight, Edward." She laid her hand on my arm for a moment before shuffling out the room, her handprint leaving a warm tingle under my skin and a throbbing in my veins.

Watching her go, two thoughts hit me in that moment. One: that I was much lonelier than I ever let myself realize, and two: that what I felt for Bella ran way deeper than friendship.

I needed to sit back down.

Since my divorce, starting another relationship had been my biggest trepidation. I'd steered clear of anything romantic, anything resembling a commitment, determined never to be vulnerable again.

Until now.

I grinned—big and goofy—like a teenager struck with his first crush.

Bella… was my exception.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**Join me on twitter for a chat and for writing progress updates: **_Nyomixx_

'**Til next time!**

**Nyomi xx**


	19. Unexpected Events

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**Bella? Marie?**_

No copyright infringement intended.

**To my wonderful sister, **Belindella**, for her incredible and consistent help with this story, being my soundboard, mentor and pre-reader/beta. And thank you to my other amazing pre-readers, who sacrifice their time and talent for my little story: **Colette17**,** b00ks4U **&** Arwen01. **I also have two remarkable betas' that pick up my stray/absent commas and Australian spellings: **Lezleeff **& **adt216. ** You girls are so wonderful. Thank you!**

**See? I haven't abandoned this story! Nor will I until it is finished. :D Updates are just going to slow down while I'm studying, but I'm still writing :) Thank you for staying with me.**

**So after two months of waiting. . .**

* * *

**Chapter 19: Unexpected Events**

_In my beginning, is my end._

—_T. S. Eliot_

**Week two, Wednesday:**

**Bella:**

Some days are so full of events they've often left my mind spinning, wondering how so much could possibly fit into such a short amount of time.

Wednesday, the second of July, was one of those days.

The day started with Henry tickling my toes from under my bed sheets. The cheeky little monkey. I wrapped my arms around him and heaved him up the bed on his back, before reaching over to the bedside table to put my glasses on, so I could see him better. Kneeling beside him, I slid my fingers under his flannel pajama shirt and tickled his stomach and sides, delighted to hear his squealing again, despite how it pierced my ears. His shrieking brought Edward to my open door.

He laughed and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms and looking scrumptious in jeans and a white T-shirt. "Agh, Henry!" Edward said, smirking. "Your shrieking will break the windows, I swear."

I chuckled and removed my fingers to let Henry catch his breath. He smiled, exhausted. I was so glad I'd chosen to return, even if it was only for ten days. The little guy was worth it.

Edward pushed off the door frame and walked up to the end of my bed. I smiled, glad he'd relaxed his rules that forbade him in my room.

"Hey . . ." he said, nudging the mattress with his knee. "I was thinking the three of us could release the Koi fish into the pond this morning. What do you think?"

Henry scrambled off the bed and stared at his father, his eyes as round as pancakes. "Really, Daddy? You mean it?"

"Yep. They're doing well. No sign of sickness. It shouldn't hurt to release them a little sooner than planned. Besides… I can't do it without you, buddy."

I chuckled, watching Henry jump up and down. "Can we do it _now_?_"_ he asked, threatening to burst out of his skin.

"You gotta get dressed first," he said to Henry, guiding him to the door with his large hand on the back of his son's head. Edward hesitated for a moment before making eye contact with me. "We'll, ah, let you get dressed." His eyes dipped to my chest before he closed my door.

Looking down at myself, I blushed, seeing my taut nipples stretching my shirt. I laughed and felt like skipping to my closet.

**-BM-**

We all stood at the grassed rim of the pond, Edward squatting between Henry and me over the rectangle bucket we'd transferred the fish into. Edward was letting them become accustomed to the pond's temperature, with its edge partly submerged to mix the waters—something to do with the pH levels being different.

"That should do it," Edward said. "You guys ready?"

"Yes," Henry said, giggling with excitement.

Edward pushed the bucket down until it couldn't go any further. Henry squealed when one of the fish flicked its tail, splashing him as it made its escape into deeper water. I couldn't help chuckling at how cute he was.

Edward stood up, his eyes fixed on the fish. "There they go."

We watched the fish skim below the surface of the glassy water, the early morning sunlight shimmering across their vibrant colors. They looked beautiful. I longed to capture the scene with my pencils and sketchbook, so I memorized every line and shadow, the picture vivid in my mind.

"They look like something from a magical story, don't they, Henry?" I asked. He nodded, not taking his eyes off them. "They're _amazing._" I gazed up at Edward, seeing his sombre face. These weren't just any fish. He'd bought them as a symbolic gesture for Cynthia's memorial garden. Lowering my voice, I leaned towards him. "I'm sure she would have loved them, too."

His lips twitched with a small smile.

A moment later, I noticed Edward's chest jerk with a ragged breath. And then he wiped his cheek.

Oh.

Knowing how deep his pain reached, how he longed for his lost little girl, my soul ached for him.

In a bold move, I kept my face forward and lifted my hand, sliding my fingers against his warm palm. He wrapped his fingers around mine and gave a little squeeze. My heart swelled with warmth, and I compressed his in return.

If only the moment could have lasted. But like so many good things, its life was short lived.

"I guess we should get going," Edward said, unfolding his fingers from around mine and running his through his hair.

"What would you guys like for breakfast?" I asked, taking a step back from the pond edge.

Henry spun around, his eyes eager. "Pancakes!"

I feigned shock, loving his exuberance. "Really?"

"Mm-hm. No! I want _bacon_. I want bacon!"

I raised my eyes to Edward. "What about you? What would you like?"

He blinked at me. "Er . . . bacon sounds good."

"Okay. Bacon it is."

But when I opened the fridge five minutes later, we didn't have any bacon. Henry insisted he wanted it for breakfast, so Edward—like the doting father he was—said he'd go buy some fresh bacon strips from the little butcher shop in town. I said it was too early for the butcher to be open, but Edward said he was friends with the butcher who had served him this early before.

Edward took Henry along for the drive, allowing me to get the rest of our things packed and ready. Without Henry in the house, I was able to devote all my attention to packing, and not having to keep an ear out for him, wondering if he was up to mischief. Pulling my toiletry bag from beneath the cabinet in the ensuite bathroom, I threw my hairbrush in but froze when I spotted the packet of tampons at the bottom of the bag.

Tampons I'd bought last week. When I'd expected my period.

_Last week_.

Blinking, my eyes zipped side to side. I tried to find a plausible explanation as to why my period was late.

I'd been late a few times before, always when I'd been really stressed. When Dad had thrown me out of the house, I'd missed two months because of stress. These past two weeks I'd been going out of my mind with stress, waiting for my one-night-stand/boss to figure out that I had been Marie, and anticipating his reaction had my body responding the same way. Not to mention the guilt I felt with Rose. Stress made sense. There was no way was I pregnant. We'd used condoms. Lots of condoms.

I sighed, promising myself that when I got back to Rose's, I'd book myself in for a massage.

I needed to relax.

**-BM-**

I'd placed everything but my heavy suitcase in the trunk of the Volvo, when I realized the boys should have been back. While I made myself some tea, I kept waiting to hear the sound of tires crunching gravel but . . . nothing.

I started to worry.

Then my phone rang. Seeing Alice's name on my caller ID confused me.

"Hi, Alice."

"Bella . . ." Her shaky voice alerted me that something was wrong. "There's . . . there's been an accident."

The blood in my veins froze and numbness lapped at my ankles. "What? Who? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's Henry—"

I dropped my half empty cup of tea, hearing the china shatter at my feet. "Henry?" I squeaked. Oh, please no!

"Edward just called. He's at the Seattle Children's Hospital."

"Oh God. What happened?"

"I don't know the details; just that Henry is in surgery now."

"Surgery? What? I can't believe it. They'd just ducked out to get some bacon."

"Could you pack some clothes for Henry?"

I blinked. "Of course. Yeah."

"Um, a few comfy clothes and toiletry things? He'll be in overnight for sure, but just to be safe, pack for a few days."

Oh God, Henry. "I will."

"And could you grab a few clothes for Edward? No doubt he'll want to stay with Henry, so . . ."

"Absolutely. Leave it with me."

"Thanks, Bella. I'll see you there soon. Drive safe."

After hanging up, I forced my numb limbs to move. I stumbled up the stairs to Henry's room and ripped open his drawers. Disbelief clouded my focus and tears stung my eyes.

Not Henry.

Nothing could happen to Henry.

God, Edward must be going out of his mind. Especially after losing Cynthia.

Fifteen minutes later, I was flying down the stairs with a backpack on each shoulder. The clouds outside had darkened, producing a drizzle that dampened everything. I jogged out to the car with Edward's umbrella and threw the bags into the backseat of the nanny-car. Turning the key in the ignition, I revved the engine to life.

Gravel flung from my tires as I floored the accelerator, the car fishtailing away from the house, towards. . .

The frightening unknown.

**-BM-**

By the time I bumpered my way through peak hour traffic, hunted down a parking space, and found out which operating room Henry was in, over an hour had passed.

All I could think about was my little dude, injured and scared.

My footsteps echoed around me as I paced down the hallway towards one of the O.R. waiting rooms, the strong smell of ammonia churning my empty stomach. I heard Edward's raised voice before I saw him. A nurse stood in front of him, guarding two large doors. She asked him in a firm, pleading voice to please sit down. She assured Edward the doctor would come and get him when the surgery was finished.

Edward's T-shirt was splattered with dark red blood, the knees of his jeans were stained with dirt, and his hair was disheveled more than usual. His hands kept balling into tight fists as he paced the checkered black and white linoleum floors. Like an agitated tiger, desperate to get beyond the doors that read "permitted personnel only, past this point," Edward began to argue with the nurse again, gripping his hair in both his hands.

"Edward!" I called, jogging towards him.

He spun and in two strides, he stood in front of me, relief drooping his shoulders. "Bella."

He looked so tired. "Are you all right?" I asked. "How's Henry? What happened?"

He fisted his hair and furrowed his brow. "It's my fault," he said in a whisper, shaking his head. "I was holding his hand, but he ran across the road, and a car . . . a car hit him. His arm was smashed and . . ." He swallowed, unable to finish. "My boy . . . My boy. . ."

My heart ached, seeing his distress. "Hey." I rubbed his arm, not knowing what else to say. His eyes turned to look back at the closed doors, and I hoped with all my being that Henry would be okay.

"They won't tell me anything," he said in a thick voice. "They won't let me in there."

"Come on." I hooked my hand around his elbow to lead him over to the plastic seats in the U shaped alcove nearby. I was glad no one else was sitting there. "Just . . . just come sit down a sec." He hesitated for a moment before following me. I put the backpacks on the floor between us as we sat side by side. "I brought a bag of clothes for Henry, and—and I also packed you a bag."

"Thanks."

"Is Alice here?" I asked, pushing my glasses further up my nose and looking around, expecting to see her emerge around a corner or from the ladies room that I'd passed down the hall.

Edward shook his head and eyed the O.R. doors again. "She said she had to organize a babysitter before she could leave. She didn't want to bring the boys."

"Oh." Should I have offered to look after her kids? Edward would have no doubt preferred his sister to be here—to support him. "Do you want me to phone Rose?" I asked, knowing she should be arriving at the apartment soon.

"No. I called her earlier."

Edward ran a hand through his hair, bouncing his leg with impatience. "I just wish they'd tell me how he's doing."

I laid my hand on his arm. Then I remembered the blood on his shirt. "Are you hurt? Are you bleeding?"

He looked down his stained front. "No," he said in a detached voice. "It's Henry's."

I hated seeing Edward like this. I swallowed around the aching lump in my throat and rubbed his fuzzy forearm. "He'll be okay."

He _had_ to be okay.

Edward clenched his jaw and turned away from me. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and his chest jerked with a shuddering breath.

"Hey," I said, reaching across him and placing my fingers under his chin. I turned his face to look at me, but his eyes stayed closed. My heart ached at the sight of a glistening trail of anguish down his cheek. "Hey."

He raised his red-rimmed eyes to mine, his inner turmoil so clear in his green depths, it pierced straight me like a dagger. "I should have known better," he whispered. "Just like Seth . . ."

If he felt guilty about Henry's accident like he did about Seth's then . . .

"Ohh . . ." I flung my arms around his shoulders, pulling him towards me. "I know. I know." I soothed my hand over the back of his head while he wrapped his arms around my waist. A little over a week ago, I'd known nothing of his painful past. I kissed his clothed shoulder again and again. "Shh. I know. I know."

He gripped me tighter and fisted the back of my shirt.

God, I needed him to know that I understood. I ran my palm up and down his back and kissed the crook of his neck, my lips touching skin for the first time.

All of a sudden, the air between us sparked with electricity, making fizzy adrenaline pound through my veins. Edward turned his face inwards and pecked my neck with his warm lips. I felt his shuddering inhale, and I ached to kiss away his sorrow, to show him my love. I massaged the nape of his neck as his arms held me firm against him. Did he need me as much as I longed to be needed?

At the hotel room a week ago, when Edward and I had shared our bodies, we hadn't had a connection like this. We knew each other's painful pasts now; we'd shared our fears, our regrets, and our mistakes. He'd let me see his deep, emotional soul that he hid behind his tough façade. He'd let me see his vulnerabilities . . . and his soul was even more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

He pulled back enough for me to see his agonized expression. Deep creases furrowed his brows as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead to mine. "Bella . . ." He let out a whimper and another tear dripped from his cheek. "What if Henry dies? Just like Cynthia . . ."

"Oh, god, Edward, no." I sniffled and pecked his lips. "He'll be okay." Another peck. "He's tough and amazing like his daddy." I pecked his lips a third time, and his hand twisted the knot of fabric at my back while his other hand rose to cradle my neck, firmly holding my face to his, the sides of our lips pressed together.

My heart thrashed inside my chest as our breathing became ragged, deep, sucking in each other's air. We needed to hold one another close as much as we needed air itself. God, how I loved this man. How I wanted to soothe his soul with my lips, to ease his fears with my hands, to give him back the strength he'd lost.

Edward tilted his head a little and kissed me again. No tongues, just soft pressure. As our lips connected, so did our souls. The black hole that existed deep within me brightened as we breathed in each other's breath, his life essence filling me. The kiss was more intense than all the wild sex we'd had as strangers.

Heels clicked towards us and preceded a voice that made me feel like a kid when I was caught using my mother's precious make-up.

"_Edward?"_

Shit!

_Rose._

Edward parted an inch from me as if unsure what to. I felt tendrils of panic curl in my stomach.

"Oh my God! _Bella_? Oh, this is fabulous."

Edward and I slowly pulled apart, staring at each other.

"I can't believe this," Rose said, and I imagined her folding her arms in front of her. "My son's having an operation—for I don't know what—and you two are _making out_?"

I swiveled in my seat, chancing a glance at my boss. She was pissed. Her arms were crossed, her lips pursed, and her brows . . . relaxed. However, I knew she was scowling at me underneath all that Botox. She looked immaculate as always in a grey pants suit, the color making her blue eyes appear like steel as they pierced through me.

My face burned as if on fire, and a wave of guilt washed over me, shame spinning my stomach into a whirlpool of acid. I thought I might throw up. This was _not_ how I wanted her to find out about my feelings for her ex. I'd lived with Rose for the past four months, having seen her at her worst and most vulnerable. I'd listened to her disgruntled stories of her mother, and how she hadn't been good enough for her, about her prom night when she'd lost her virginity, of how purple pansies made her cry because they made her think of her dead grandmother—the best friend she'd had growing up. She'd off-loaded her frustration to me about Edward as though confiding in me as a friend. And here I was, kissing her perceived enemy—her ex-husband.

My explanation caught in my throat.

Rose shook her head. "I never thought—" She stopped herself and held up her hand, as if telling _us _to stop talking, and closed her eyes. "First . . . How's Henry?"

"I don't know," Edward said. "I'm still waiting for someone to tell me. They took him into surgery an hour ago."

Rose looked over at the O.R. doors before sitting down opposite us. Her cool eyes darkened, indicating a storm brewing beneath her concern. "What happened to him? Is he sick? Is it appendicitis? What?"

Edward twisted his hands together. "He got clipped by a car."

Rose gasped, covering her mouth with her fingers. "Oh my baby. A _car_?" She blinked, tears welling in her eyes. "H-how bad?"

"The car wasn't going fast," Edward said in a disconnected voice, as though he was reading a report. "But his left arm's in bad shape. The EMT's suspected he might have internal bleeding, which is why they air lifted us here. They also thought he could have skull and spinal fractures."

Rose shook her head and her curls swished around her face as tears slipped from her eyes. "No! No-no-no! Not my baby!" she croaked. "How did this happen?"

Edward leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "I . . . I was holding his hand as I left the sop, but he twisted out of my grip. Before I could stop him he ran onto the road and then the car . . ."

Rose frowned, her chest heaving with her breaths. "You let him run onto the road?"

Edward's eyes fell to the floor. I couldn't handle seeing his destructive guilt anymore. Didn't she know he was already beating himself up?

"Don't blame him. It was an _accident_," I said, my chin jutting out to defend the man who loved his child more than any father I'd ever known. I was okay with her anger at me, but not with Edward. Not for this.

Rose stood and stabbed the air with her finger. "You're fired, Bella." Hearing her say those final words, my breath whooshed from my lungs. "Leave. Now. Get out of my sight. I want you out of my house by this afternoon. Give the keys to the concierge and clean your stuff out of the nanny-car."

I'd worked so hard to prove my worth to Rose, to prove I could be a trusted and valuable member of her family. But in one moment, I'd shattered it. All my prior effort had been reduced to nothing, vanishing as quickly as a puff of smoke.

She began to walk away, but Edward jumped out of his chair and took a step towards her. "Oh come on, Rose! This is ridiculous. Bella's the best goddamn nanny we've ever had and you know it. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this! Not after all she's done for us, for Henry. He loves her!"

As much as I appreciated him sticking up for me, I didn't blame Rose for firing me. Strangely enough, I felt relieved. It was over. She knew of my feelings for Edward. My only concern was Henry.

Rose turned to look at him with deliberate slowness, her astonished expression made my stomach clench as I waited for her last, biting remark. "I'm not having your gold-digging whore under my roof. _You_ take her home."

And there it was.

With my heart in my throat, I stood and held my head high, determined not to let Rose know how much her words stung.

Her mouth opened to say something else to me when the O.R. doors swung open and a male doctor walked through, wearing blue scrubs and a face mask hanging loose around his neck.

"Mr. Cullen?" he called.

Edward spun and paced towards him. "Oh, Doc! How is he? Is my boy all right?"

Rose rushed to them and stood next to Edward. "Is Henry okay?"

I stayed put, knowing I wasn't privileged to join that circle. I wasn't family, even if I _felt_ Henry was my family.

The doctor held up his hands, asking for calm. "Please . . . Henry's awake but very groggy. I'll take you through now." He paused and looked at Rose. "You are . . .?"

She set her shoulders. "His mother."

"Okay." The doctor opened the door for them.

Rose and Edward flashed a look at each other that I couldn't decipher before they disappeared behind the doors.

Edward hadn't looked back. To me.

Standing there, alone, without any idea of what to do, a lump of rejection grew in my throat. I knew he'd left quickly because of Henry, but I so wished I could have gone with him, to be the one to stand by his side.

It was all too much. I ran to the bathroom. Barging into the ladies room, I made it to the first stall in time to heave my stomach contents into the sterilized porcelain bowl. I fell to my knees and leaned over the bowl, my entire body straining with effort.

When my body finally realized there was nothing left in me, I leaned back against the door, panting for breath, a cold sweat smothering my skin. Exhausted, my limbs felt as though they were weighted to the floor with invisible chains.

A sob bubbled up within me, but with a deep breath, I forced it down deep, resolved not to cry here. If I lost control now, I wouldn't be able to stop.

Right now, I needed to be strong. Despite Rose's adamant demand, I wasn't leaving until I knew more of Henry's condition. He had to be okay.

With a trembling hand, I gathered my handbag from the floor, and dragged myself to the basins. After I washed my face, rinsed my mouth, and shuffled out, I decided to ask for news on Henry—Rose be damned.

I saw a nurse in uniform—no older than me—standing behind the nurses' station nearby, reading something. "Excuse me?" I called, moving over to her.

She looked up and raised her unplucked eyebrows. "Yes?"

"Henry Cullen. . .? He's just woken up from surgery. Can you tell me how he is?"

"Um. Are you family?"

I shook my head. "No, but—"

"I'm sorry. I can't divulge that information—"

"_Please!_ I just need to know if he's okay. I can't leave without knowing he'll be all right. I don't need particulars, just, _please,_ I need to know. I'm his nanny!"

"I'm sorry. Only family—"

"Bella?"

I turned and saw Alice, jogging down the hall towards me. "Where is he? Is he okay?"

I almost crumbled with relief to see her. "I don't know. He's out of surgery and awake. That's all I know. Edward and Rose are in with him now."

Alice sighed, her shoulders slumping. She turned to the nurse. "Can I see him?"

"Are you—?"

"I'm his aunt."

The nurse nodded and told Alice what room he was in. Again, I was cut out.

Alice spun and gripped my arm, her eyes steady on mine. "I'll come back out and tell you how he is, okay?"

I could have kissed her. "Thank you!"

I resumed my waiting spot in the plastic chairs for what felt like hours, trying hard not to cry. Alice came out with an anxious smile on her face.

"He's okay," she said. "The bone in his left forearm was broken in three places and also pierced the skin, so they had to clean the wound and put the bones back together before putting it in a cast. He's sleeping again, but he's okay."

I sagged with relief. "Thank God."

We stood in silence for a moment. I didn't know what to do now. Should I leave, or stay and wait for Edward to come out?

Alice toed the floor, awkward. "Rose _mentioned_ she'd fired you." I nodded, diverting my eyes. Rose must have told her _why_ she'd fired me. "Henry'll miss you something terrible." She smiled, but it died on her lips as quickly as it appeared. "The cow wanted me to . . . I'm sorry. She wanted to remind you to pick up your things from her place today." I bobbed my head, shame keeping my eyes down. "Do you have somewhere to stay? Will you be okay?"

I lifted my gaze and blinked away tears. Her compassion disarmed me. "My friend, Angela. I can stay with her."

"Okay, good. If you need anything . . ."

I smiled. "Thanks. But . . . I'll be okay." I was surprised by how much I believed it.

She nodded and gave me a smile in return. "Thanks, Bella—for everything. Take care 'til I see you again, huh?"

"Okay."

I watched her walk back through the doors, wondering when I would see her again. Edward and I weren't anything definite. We'd only shared an in-the-moment kiss. I didn't know when I'd see him again, let alone his sister . . . or Henry.

Trusting Edward would understand why I wasn't there when he came back out, I left. I kept my emotions under control the whole drive over to Rose's, but the moment I nosed the Volvo into the underground parking lot, I lost it. Tears streamed down my cheeks and sobs burst from my chest. It took me a while before I began to gather all my things from the car and carried them upstairs along with my backpack and pillow from Edward's house.

Shuffling around the quiet apartment, I saw everything through stinging, blurry eyes. Memories of happy times were everywhere: painting with Henry and making Play-doh animals on the dining table, playing Twister on the living room rug in front of the wood fire where we liked to roast marshmallows, and sprawling on the sofas as Rose and I watched romantic-comedies after Henry had gone to bed.

I ran to what used to be my bedroom and threw the few remaining things into my smaller suitcase that thankfully had wheels.

"Thank God for my small wardrobe."

Tucking my pillow back under my arm, I grabbed my hiking boots, backpack and suitcase, and high-tailed it out to the elevators and caught one down to entry level.

Striding up to the concierge, I placed Rose's apartment door card and car keys on the counter, not recognizing the balding man in the dark suit. "Can you give these to Rosalie Hale? Apartment 8A."

He did a double take at my dishevelled appearance before nodding. "May I ask your name, so I can tell Miss Hale who they're from?"

"She'll know."

I wheeled my suitcase out to the footpath and let the doorman hail me a cab. There was only one place I could go, but I knew Angela would be at work, so I told the driver to take me to Angela's workplace. I didn't have a key to her place, since I'd never needed to get into her apartment when she wasn't there before.

Finding her number on my cell, I called, hoping she'd have her phone on her.

"Bella! Hey! What's up?"

"Ange . . ." Just hearing her chirpy, naïve voice made mine crack, and tears flood my eyes.

"Are you all right? What's wrong?"

"Rose . . . fired me."

"Oh crap. Are you all right?"

I shook my head. "Can I get your apartment key off you?"

"Oh shit, Bella. Um . . ." I blinked, taken aback by her delayed answer. "Ben's grandmother moved into an old folks' home on the weekend and he's filled the spare bedroom with all her stuff." She sighed regretfully while my hopes took a nose dive. "I'd offer you the couch, but . . . well, Ben's been staying over every night and—"

"It's okay. I'll find a motel to stay in."

"I'm really sorry, Bella. Ben'll have the stuff out by next weekend though, so it'll be clear for you then."

"It's okay. I just assumed—"

I heard someone call Angela's name. "Crap. I gotta go, hun. Are you sure you'll be okay in a motel? I can kick Ben out for a few nights."

Yeah, right.

I was used to being sidelined by her new boyfriends, especially during the early stages of her relationships. The last thing I wanted was her resenting me.

"I'll be fine."

"Call me and tell me what motel you're in, okay? I'll come and see you tomorrow."

"Mm-hm."

I hung up and stared out the taxi window and sniffed, my eyes overflowing. How could she do that to me? Where was I to go now?

I was adrift.

Again.

Thank God I had Mom's money in the bank.

I told the driver I needed a nice, affordable place to stay around Eastlake—so I'd be relatively close to Angela's apartment—and he drove me to a Travelodge Motel. I may have been annoyed at Angela, but how could I stay angry at her for not wanting me around? If the tables were turned and I had Edward to myself all night, I wouldn't want to be disturbed either.

The driver told me the motel was within walking distance to shops and restaurants which sounded fantastic. My stomach grumbled at the thought of a hot lunch, and I realized I hadn't fed myself all day. I thanked the driver, tipping him well, before checking myself into a mini-suite. If I was going to stay in a motel for a few days, I wanted more than just a bed in a room. I decided to only pay for two nights though, just in case the mattress was springy, or I had creepy neighbors.

The large room was cleaner than I expected, with two double beds and a kitchenette. But it didn't feel like home. It stank of cheap air-freshener covering old cigarette smoke. Yet it was my home for the next two days.

I locked the door, using the dead bolt and chain, before dumping my pillow and bags on the nearest bed. I quickly checked out the suite and its features before sitting on the saggy mattress. I was alone, utterly, completely alone. The reality of my situation crashed down on me.

I was now unemployed.

And homeless.

I didn't have a car anymore either.

At twenty-two, I'd been thrown out . . . _again_.

My chin quivered and tears welled up in my eyes.

"Agggh!" I threw my pillow across the room, knocking over a lamp.

I began to sob. I was tired of feeling weak, tired of being vulnerable and at the mercy of others. I was twenty-two years old for chrissake! I _needed _to be independent!

Though I probably wouldn't do it, I longed to have the _choice_ to leave the dirty dishes on the sink for a night. I wanted to stock my fridge with food that _I_ liked. I wanted to surround myself with furniture I'd hunted down and bought, things I loved to look at, and to have my own art framed on the walls.

I had plans to move in with Angela next week, and I was overwhelmingly grateful to her, but the idea of having my own place, with bills in my name, made my heart trip with excitement.

My thoughts were interrupted by my stomach growling again.

Finding my handbag and umbrella, I stepped outside and headed down the tree lined street in the drizzling rain to hunt down some food for lunch. Three blocks away, I found a mini supermarket, a bakery and a drug store, all next to a Thai restaurant. I loved Thai food as much as I loved chocolate, and since there was a small bar fridge in the motel suite, I bought three different meals to take home for later.

While I waited for my food to be cooked, I zipped around the supermarket and did my first grocery shop just for myself. My spirits began to lift. It felt so good it was impossible not to smile. My hands had started to shake with fatigue and lack of food, so I devoured a chocolate bar while filling a cart with butter, milk, a box of coco puffs, tea, sugar, chocolate chip cookies, potato chips, soda, apples, bread and peanut butter. It wasn't until I picked up the bags at the counter that I felt stupid for buying so much. Without a car anymore, I had to carry everything three blocks back to the motel.

At least the rain had stopped. Thank God for small favors.

Half way home, I was passing a small playground when my cell phone buzzed in my handbag. I perched on a wet park bench, putting my plastic grocery bags on the seat beside me and pulled out my cell. It was a message from Edward.

**Are you okay? Where are you?**

My toes curled in my shoes and I smiled, remembering our kiss, how he'd cradled my face.

**I'm fine. At a motel. How's Henry? How are you?**

**I'm okay. Henry's okay. He's sleeping. He's got concussion. **

Holy crap! I wasn't expecting that.

**I hope he feels better soon. Are you staying with him tonight?**

**Yes. What motel are you at? Someplace safe, I hope.**

It was reassuring to know someone, other than Angela, cared about me.

**I'm at a nice Travelodge in Eastlake. **

**Good. Be careful, okay? I'll see you soon.**

**I will. :)**

With my bottom lip firmly wedged between my teeth, I grinned and juggled my bags back to the motel. He hadn't mentioned our kiss, for which I was glad—I didn't want to have that conversation via texts—but he'd said he'd see me soon, which _really_ improved my mood.

I put the food away in the kitchenette, feeling as though I was setting up my own little home. Unable to wait any longer, I stuffed my mouth with cashew nut stir-fry and fried rice, unable to stop moaning from the delicious taste. I felt like a cavewoman with a fork.

Angela phoned while I was eating, and she apologized profusely. I'd already forgiven her, so ended up telling her all about the intense moment Edward and I had shared.

I couldn't help but giggle.

With a happy, full belly, the soft mattress beckoned me to an early afternoon nap. As soon as I laid my head on my pillow, the comforting smell of Edward's laundry detergent pulled me down and enveloped me in a deep, dreamless sleep. From the emotionally exhausting day, I slept as if I hadn't slept in months, waking to afternoon sunshine slanting in through the kitchenette window.

The clouds had lifted near the horizon, revealing a pale blue sky underneath.

Deciding on another walk, I locked up and took a deep breath of the fresh air, choosing to walk up the street into the sun's warm rays. That way I could feel it on my face and absorb it into my bones.

Two blocks up the street, a sign caught my attention, hanging in the third story window of a tired, squat apartment building. It read "Studio Apartment for Rent—Inquire at A1." I shrugged and walked over, knocking on the superintendent's door.

A short, older woman answered the door with a towel wrapped around her hair, wearing a floral dress. "Yes?"

"Hi. I just wanted to inquire about the apartment for rent. I saw the sign."

She looked me up and down, and a slow smile spread across her plump face. I gathered I'd passed her inspection. "Let me get the key . . ."

Mrs. Forrester, who told me she had three grown children and a live-in boyfriend within five minutes, bombarded me with questions the whole way up the three flights of stairs. Stepping inside the corner apartment, my eyes boggled and a smile lifted my lips. It was an 'L' shaped studio design, and a clear view of the Space Needle and of a gorgeous park across the road could all be seen from the huge living room windows. The bathroom was cozy, with everything originaland_ purple_, even the free standing basin and toilet. The little yellow kitchen had been modern about thirty years ago and the soft green wallpaper throughout was peeling in spots.

But I loved it!

I loved its crazy color scheme and its cheerful potential.

It only needed a little TLC and some nice furniture. The best thing about it was that it was so different from everywhere I'd lived in the past.

It was _me_.

Looking around, I was certain I could make it my own, and the idea of being secure on my own two feet—of being independent—thrilled me to my toes.

Mrs. Forrester informed me of the affordable rent and the neighborhood security that the place offered, and made me smile when she said I could have a cat or a small _dog_ if I wanted. I hadn't though about getting a pet before. I chuckled. Maybe I'd get one.

The apartment was within walking distance to Angela's and there was a bus stop across the street that could get me to the city in less than half an hour. What would I need a car for?

Someone once told me that all our lives are defined and shaped by a handful of life altering choices, moments that can build or break our spirit depending on whether we chose to take the risk.

Turning to Mrs. Forrester, I grinned, feeling as though my life had taken a sharp turn . . . for the better. "I'll take it."

* * *

**A/N:**

**A huge day for Bella **_**and **_**Edward!**

**Have you ever had a day where everything that could go wrong, did, and your whole life changed? I know I've had several. Each time I became a stronger person because of it. :)**

**Do you think Bella could be pregnant or is she just really stressed? Have you ever been affected, like Bella, by stress?**

**Thank you so much for reading. I love reading your reviews in return! They're the sweetest gift :)**


	20. Perfection

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of __**Bella? Marie?**_

_No copyright infringement intended._

To the women who generously and selflessly help me and this story: **Belinda, Colette, Meredith, Ann **&** Lezlee**… Thank you so much!

**-xxx-**

**Surprise! I should be working on an essay but... Meh. :) I couldn't keep myself from writing this after the encouraging reviews last chapter!**

**It was interesting to see that the majority of readers said they **_**had **_**been affected by stress the same as Bella assumes ;) and a vast majority of you think Bella IS pregnant! ;)**

**Thank you for your opinions, encouragement and suggestions. You're wonderful!**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Perfection**

**Week two, Wednesday:**

**Edward:**

My hands were sweating as I followed the doctor and Rose through the O.R. swing doors. I kept thinking "My boy's alive! Thank you, God!" over and over again.

But was he in pain? Was he scared? Why wasn't the doctor walking faster?

The doctor had introduced himself, but I'd forgotten his name already. He explained Henry's condition as he led us down a short hallway to a room that had numerous beds sectioned off with curtains. "He's very groggy from the general anaesthetic and the pain killers we've given him, but seeing you both should reassure him and help him stay calm."

He looked so vulnerable, so small, so weak, lying in a huge hospital bed.

His little body was covered in wires, hooked up to an array of machines. An IV tube pierced his hand and his left arm was engulfed in a purple cast that ended just before his armpit.

Rose and I moved to opposite sides of Henry's bed where he lay surrounded by pillows, asleep.

A nurse, who'd been standing next to him, stepped aside to let us closer. She told the doctor that he was doing well, his vital signs normal.

"How bad is he, doc?" I asked, smoothing Henry's hair from his face with extreme tenderness, careful lest I hurt him where he'd hit his head on the asphalt. Rose's eyes filled with tears as she gazed at our little boy's broken body.

"He should make a full recovery," the doctor said. His confidence was heartening. "Henry's radius bone was broken in two places, which we were able to set after we cleaned the exposed bone, and I'm pleased to report that the tests showed no sign of internal bleeding, spinal or skull damage. He's got some bruising down his left side, and a nasty contusion on his head, but he should be fine. We'll keep him here for observation, at least for the next twenty-four hours, so we cancontinue to assess his condition in case his concussion degenerates."

I nodded, amazed that Henry's worst injury was a broken arm. After seeing him clipped by a car, his body bleeding due to the bone piercing his forearm, I'd prepared myself for the worst.

"He'll be tired for a while," the doctor said. "And will most likely sleep more than usual. It's an after effect of his concussion, but we'll keep an eye on him."

"Thank you, doctor," I said around the lump in my throat. "For everything."

Rose bobbed her head in agreement and looked up at him. "Yes. Thank you so much."

He gave us a weak smile before he left us, promising to check in on Henry soon.

A moment later, Henry's eyes flickered open and he frowned. "Da-ee?" His voice broke as his bottom lip jutted out, the tell-tale sign he was about to cry.

"I'm here," I whispered, leaning closer and stroking his hair. "It's all right, Henry. Daddy's here. I'm here."

Rose kissed his good hand again and again. "Oh, my little Henry!"

Seeing Henry awake caused relief to fill my heart and overflow from my eyes. I'd never been as frightened for Henry's life before then, and I made a vow to never take him for granted again.

Henry closed his eyes and whimpered. "Da-ee?"

Rose sniffled and leaned closer to him. "You're in the hospital, sweetheart. You had an accident, but the doctor said you're going to be fine." His expression turned scared, confused, as he gazed around the small curtained-off area. The sound of metal carts and mumbled conversations filtered through to my ears. To Henry, who had never stayed in a hospital, I imagined it would be terrifying.

"You're okay, son. We're here."

"Mommy?" Henry asked with a scratchy voice. He turned towards her as though onlyjust realizing it was her.

"I'm here, baby. Everything's fine." She bent down and kissed his forehead and cheek, her hair falling on my hand. I pulled my hand away. "Are you in pain? Are you thirsty?" she asked.

He nodded, his eyes still closed. "D' ink."

She supported his head as she held a plastic cup of water beneath his chin, letting him sip through the straw. "There . . . much better." She dabbed his chin with a tissue and he relaxed his head back into the pillow. Even blinking looked like an effort for him, and I could see he wanted to sleep again.

"Just rest, darling," Rose said. "You're safe here."

"Da-ee?" Henry raised his eyes to mine.

"Yes?" He didn't say anything, but let his eyelids close before he sighed. "You're okay. You're okay, buddy. Just sleep. That's it. I'm not going anywhere."

His fragile body sagged before my eyes as he slipped back into a deep sleep. Rose put her hands over her watery eyes and began to sob, her cries so quiet I could just hear her.

I collapsed back in my chair and ran a hand through my hair. "I'm so sorry, Rose," I whispered. "I should have known better. I'm so sorry."

She nodded and raised her watery eyes to mine, looking through clumpy eyelashes. "You're not to blame, Edward." She shook her head and brushed the hair from Henry's face. "It was an accident." Her voice was barely audible, but I blinked, taken aback by her words. She fussed over Henry's blanket, pulling it up around his chest. "No one's perfect, no matter how hard they try to be. I know you're sorry for what happened. You didn't do it on purpose, so . . . don't keep apologizing. Our son needs you to be strong when he wakes up, not morose with guilt."

I was stunned speechless from her rapid mood swing. I'd forgotten how hot and cold she could be.

My eye caught a glint of rainbow light from her diamond ring. The thing was whopping, about four times bigger than the one I'd bought her. "Where's Royce?"

"He, uh, he had a surgery he couldn't reschedule."

Thank God for that. I would have hated having him here.

"Pst! Edward . . ." someone whispered behind me.

_Alice. _

Turning, I saw her, peering through the crack in the curtain. She frowned, hesitating. "Hey, Alice." I motioned for her to come in, while Rose sat up straighter, watching Alice with a blank face.

Alice's eyes flickered over Henry. "How is he?"

"He's going to be okay," I said, trusting it to be true.

Alice rubbed my shoulder. "Oh! I'm so relieved. He gave us quite a scare."

I told her about Henry's condition and that the doctor was confident he would make a full recovery.

Alice smiled and took a step away. "I'll be back in a sec. I promised Bella I'd tell her how he is."

Rose scoffed and looked at Alice with narrowed eyes. "You mean Bella is still out there?" The venom in her voice wasn't lost on Alice, either.

Alice nodded then flashed a look between Rose and me, confused. "Am I missing something?"

Rose cocked her head to the side, sighing like a star from some soap opera drama. "Oh, nothing. I just caught the two of them with their tongues down each other's throats in the waiting room out there, so I told her to leave."

Alice's jaw dropped. "What?"

I glared at Rose, feeling Alice's astonished eyes turn to me. "Rose," I whispered in warning, my voice firm. "Don't. Not here."

"What's the matter, Edward?" Rose asked, flopping her head to the other side. "Embarrassed?"

"You fired Bella?" Alice asked Rose, unable to hide her shock. "Just because she kissed Edward? Big deal."

My thoughts exactly.

Rose kept her eyes on me while addressing Alice. "Remind that girl to clear her things out from my place. Today. I don't want her here at the hospital either."

"You're kicking her out?" Alice asked. "Has she even got somewhere to go?"

Thank God Bella had Angela to stay with if she needed.

Rose shrugged a cold shoulder. "She should have thought about that."

I shook my head at Rose's callous answer, disgusted that she didn't care what happened to Bella. Standing, I guided Alice from the room by her elbow, not looking back. I only went a few yards away, though, unable to leave Henry's side for long.

"Alice, if Bella . . ." I bent closer to Alice, making sure only she could hear me. "If Bella can't stay with Angela for some reason, can you let her know she can stay with me? In the spare bedroom."

Alice blinked a few times before nodding. "Yep. Okay."

"Thanks."

She patted my arm. "I'll be back in two secs."

I turned and with a deep breath, resumed my place by Henry's side.

"So you and Bella, huh?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrows. I kept my face vacant, not knowing what she wanted me to say. "I never thought _Bella_ would grab your attention."

"And I never thought you'd want to marry a shallow guy like Royce."

She gritted her teeth. "Did you have to kiss her in front of me?"

"I didn't do it on purpose."

"I receive a message from you on my cell, telling me that Henry's in surgery and to come to the hospital quick, and I walk in and see you making out with Bella. How'd you think I felt seeing that?"

"For one, it was barely a kiss. And two, there weren't any tongues so we weren't exactly 'making out'. You didn't need to overreact."

"_Overreact_?"

She knew she was getting loud, so she moved to her feet and lifted one of the bags that Bella had packed onto her seat and opened it. It must have been my clothes because she zipped it back up and grabbed the other one, plonking it down. "You just don't get it, do you?" she whispered. "Put yourself in my shoes. If _you _had a guy living with you—_working_ for you—and you thought him trustworthy enough to confide in, imagine walking in on him and me in a compromising position while you're worrying your ass off about our son. Are you telling me you wouldn't be pissed, either?"

She had a point. But I regretted nothing. Even after Cynthia passed away, Rose and I had never shared anything as intense and soul barring as that moment with Bella.

Rose sighed, assuming I hadn't understood her hypothetical story and withdrew the toys Bella had packed for Henry: a Ben-10 action figure, a story book and a triceratops.

"You're right," I said, mindful to keep my voice low. "It _was_ inconsiderate timing. I apologize." But I couldn't wait to kiss her again.

Rose blinked, a flicker of surprise crossing her face.

Alice came back in, so I moved to sit on the end of Henry's bed, giving Alice my chair. It felt like I stared at her for ages before she raised her eyes to mine. "She's staying at Angela's."

I tried not to look disappointed and nodded. "That's good."

Alice studied me for a beat longer. "Why don't you go change your clothes, Ed? Rose and I are here if he wakes . . ."

"Uh . . . All right." I'd forgotten about my bloodied shirt and felt stupid for not changing it earlier. What if Henry had freaked out earlier, seeing me like that? I kissed my boy's forehead before picking up my bag and hurrying from the room. After washing my face and arms, I returned to seeing Rose and Alice discussing Royce's proposal.

Alice chuckled, and _meant _it, which floored me. "Oh, that's so sweet!"

"I know!" Rose smiled but her lips fell when she saw me at the curtain.

I took a step forward. "Nice to see you two being civil," I said, casting a surprised glance at Alice, who smirked and stood to give me her chair.

"Yeah well . . ." Her cell phone rang and she pulled it out. "Ugh. Boys." She gave me an apologetic look. "I've got to go. I just received a message from my neighbor, Mrs. Hardwick—who's babysitting—and she said the boys won't stop fighting. I don't want them to make the old woman snap. You know Mrs. Hardwick's not the best person with kids, but I was stuck." She bent and kissed me on the cheek. "Oh. Mom said she'll visit tonight with Dad, when he finishes his shift."

Alice didn't mind calling Esme "Mom", but to me, mom died when I was nineteen. Esme was a wonderful woman who filled that motherly roll, but I just couldn't bring myself to call her "Mom".

"Okay." I smiled, bending to hug my sister. "Thanks for coming, Alice."

She patted my cheek. "It's what sisters are for." What happened next made my chin hit the floor. Alice walked around Henry's bed towards Rose, who stood up . . . and embraced her!

"We'll have to catch up soon," Rose said, smiling.

Alice nodded and pulled back. "I'll call you to set up a shopping date."

"Great. And thanks." They shared a knowing look.

What the hell was going on? Rose had declared mortal war with Alice after Alice tried to persuade her that she was doing the wrong thing by divorcing me. So what had happened in the last two minutes to erase three years of resentment?

Alice left, leaving me staring at Rose.

"What?" she asked, fussing over Henry's blankets.

"You wanna explain what just happened?"

"What does it look like? We made up."

"I thought you said hell had to freeze over before you talked to her again."

"No, I didn't." Shit. Alice must have said that.

Rose was avoiding eye contact, so I knew she wasn't going to answer me. It didn't matter. I'd get the story out of Alice later.

We both did a double take when we saw Henry's eyes flicker again.

"Hey, buddy," I said, cupping the side of his face in my palm.

Rose and I both stood, leaning over him. "We're here, sweetie," Rose cooed, kissing his forehead. "Do you remember where you are?"

He blinked at us. "The hoss—hosp—"

"That's right," she said. "You're in the hospital. The nurses will be here soon to move you to your own room, but we have to wait here for now. Look . . ." Rose's voice was cheery as she diverted her eyes to his broken arm. We both followed her gaze. "How cool is _that_? You got a purple cast to show everyone!" She forced a laugh for his sake, and I was grateful to see her take the positive route. "We'll get some different color markers so we can draw on it, too. How does that sound?"

Henry nodded, seeming overwhelmed as he inspected the huge cast that engulfed his arm. He peered past us to the empty chairs. I knew who he was looking for and my gut clenched with dread. "Bella?" he asked, his voice worried. "Where's Bella?"

Rose shook her head, forcing a smile. "Bella's not here anymore, baby. But I'm here. We'll get you a new nanny. One that'll—"

His little brows creased. "Whaddo you mean?" He turned to me with scared eyes. "Where is she, Daddy?"

"Well . . ." I took a deep breath and glanced at Rose, who stared straight back at me. Her expression was stoic. Whatever she was feeling, she hid it well. "Bella had to move out, buddy. She didn't want to," —I gave Rose a pointed look— "but she had to. She told me to tell you she loves you, and that it wasn't your fault she left. You know how Liam and Brody go to school?" He nodded, not getting my sudden change in topic. "Well, Bella is going to go to school, too. That's why she couldn't be your nanny anymore."

I was so glad I could tell him the truth, even if it was a few days early, it was gonna be the same story.

Henry frowned. "But she's too old to go to school with Liam and Brody."

I chuckled and smoothed his hair. "No, bud. Bella's going to go to _college_—a school for adults."

It took a moment for it all to sink in, but when it did his eyes filled with tears. "Is she going to come and see me again?"

I looked at Rose before I answered Henry, trying to convey to her what I was going to say, and that she'd better accept it. Turning back to Henry, my lips curved into a genuine smile. "Yes. She will. If the doctor says you're well enough to go camping on Friday, we'll see if Bella still wants to come. Okay?"

He nodded, but his bottom lip jutted out as his eyes filled with tears. "But I want her _now_."

Rose blinked at me. "Camping? You invited her to go camping to the islands?"

"Yes." A thought popped into my head, that seemed so ridiculous, I almost laughed. But seeing Rose's confused expression, I had to wonder… was it possible she was _jealous_?

"Oh . . ." More blinking. "I see."

**-BM-**

Wednesday night had been one of the longest of my life. I'd kept replaying the horrible event over and over again, wondering what would have happened if Henry were in the middle of the road, if the car were going faster, or if the guy driving hadn't swerved. There were so many different ways the accident could have gone, and so many things I should have done.

But there was a lot to be grateful for, too.

Henry was alive.

Looking to my side, I gazed through the large pane of glass that formed an entire wall of Henry's private, yellow room and watched the orange glow from the morning sun as it inched higher above the houses and high-rises. Henry had been moved to the children's ward yesterday at lunch. We'd insisted on him having a private room, knowing he'd be more relaxed and would sleep better without the noises on a general ward.

"Edward?" Rose lifted her head, blinking her eyes awake where she'd been sleeping on her side in one of the large recliners. "What time is it?"

I checked my watch. "Almost six."

She yawned before sitting up, stretching her arms above her head and arching her large, new breasts towards me. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A bit."

"How's he doing?" She kept her voice low as she leaned over and brushed Henry's curls from his forehead. He'd slept deeply between the nurses' routine visits when they had to wake him to test his alertness and to record his vital signs. I'd hated seeing them wake him up, but I understood why they needed to.

"He's doing okay," I whispered, massaging and rotating my shoulder which had decided to start aching last night. "Dr. Banner dropped by about an hour ago and said Henry will probably be released today and that we'll have to keep a close eye on him."

Rose tucked her chin in. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked like you could do with the sleep."

"When's the doctor checking on him again?"

"Soon, I think. He said 'breakfast time,' so . . ."

"Okay." Rose stood and shuffled in her bare feet to the window.

Yesterday afternoon, when Dad and Esme had visited, they'd surprised Henry with an assortment of large foil balloons. Henry loved having them tied to the end of his bed, and I was grateful that Dad and Esme brightened his room and his mood. Esme had laughed, saying how Dad had gone nuts at the gift shop. They'd wanted to spoil their grandson, so they bought Henry a helium balloon of every cartoon figure available.

Henry had gasped when they'd walked in. "Is it my birthday?" he'd asked, making us all laugh.

Rose turned and glanced at me, gaining my attention away from the balloons. "I've . . . been thinking about things . . . about us and . . ." She stopped and shook her head. "Never mind."

"What is it?"

Her mouth quirked into what I thought was a flash of a smile, but I couldn't be sure. She moved back to her chair and slid her feet into her heels while lifting her handbag to her shoulder. "How 'bout some coffee? Hmm?"

I frowned, sensing she was rattled. "Um, sure."

She nodded and left me to scrutinize her strange behavior.

I didn't know what to make of her. One minute she was furious with me and Bella, and then she's telling me not to feel guilty, now buying me coffee . . . even smiling at me. I shook my head, completely at a loss.

Rose returned a while later with a brown paper bag and two large Starbucks coffees. "Hungry?" she asked, placing the bag and coffees on Henry's portable table.

I sat up, the smell of food making my stomach grumble. "Starved. I'm surprised the cafeteria is open this early."

With Rose making an effort to be civil with me, I chose to return the courtesy.

"It isn't. The Starbucks outside is though. I bought you a few sandwiches and a couple of muffins that I recalled you liking when we were . . . you know. I wasn't sure if you'd changed your tastes."

I balked, again taken back by how considerate she was being. "Er, thanks. They all look great."

We ate in silence, but the smell of food soon woke Henry.

"Mm. Can I 'ave some?" he asked through sleepy eyes.

"Course you can," Rose said, chuckling, as she sat on his bed to help feed him.

Dr. Banner visited Henry soon after, and he seemed impressed with Henry's rate of recovery. Dr. Banner told us that he could be released that afternoon if he continued to improve. I decided to ask him about camping.

"I don't see why not," Dr. Banner said, sliding his hands into his white coat pockets. "Though his cast is fibreglass, which makes it waterproof, he should still avoid swimming for a few days, just until the wound on his arm scabs over. And he shouldn't rough-house or run around for a day or two either. You'll also have to keep a close eye on him, monitoring him in case he incurs any unusual symptoms that show a worsening of his concussion. But other than that, I think he should be okay to go."

I shook the man's hand. "Thank you, Dr. Banner."

He squeezed my hand in return. "My pleasure, Mr. Cullen."

With Henry on the mend, I thought it best to go to work, since Rose promised to stay with him. I showered at the hospital, using Henry's ensuite bathroom, and changed into another set of fresh clothes that Bella had packed for me.

Thoughts of Bella swerved my mind to one memory . . . her lips on mine, my fist clenching the back of her shirt, her sweet breath on my tongue . . .

I hoped she was okay. I'd been surprised when she'd texted me, saying she was at a _motel_ of all places. I didn't know what was going on, but the last thing she needed was to lose Angela after yesterday's events.

When I stepped back into Henry's room, Rose was reading him a book. He listened with rapt attention as she portrayed the characters voices with enthusiasm. I hadn't seen Rose be so motherly towards Henry since he was in diapers. Ever since we'd divorced, most of our interactions together had been reduced to conversations over the phone or a few seconds at her door when I dropped Henry home on Sunday afternoons. So seeing this loving side of her was refreshing, even more so since her kind words to me yesterday and this morning. She seemed like the woman I'd married.

Which was disconcerting to say the least.

I didn't know what to make of Rose's warmer side. Or why she'd had a change of heart towards me. But I couldn't deny I wanted to welcome it.

After years of bitterness, her civility was a welcome relief.

**-BM-**

**Bella:**

Angela knocked a tune on my motel door a little after seven, holding up an aromatic bag of McDonald's and a tray of drinks. "Breakfast?"

I chuckled and took the McDonald's bag from her before moving towards the kitchenette to get some plates. "Aww. You didn't have to do this. I bought food yesterday."

Angela followed close behind me. "I wanted to surprise you."

It was so good seeing her. Last night, I'd been too excited to sleep, thinking about my apartment and what furniture I'd need, how I was going to arrange everything, knowing what décor theme I wanted. Lower back pain and sore boobs had kept me tossing and turning as well, unable to find a comfortable position. For once in my life, I'd been relieved to feel that pain. And it hadn't disappointed. I'd gotten my period in the wee hours of the morning, albeit a _lot_ lighter than usual.

As I placed our McMuffins on plates, Angela sighed, looking contrite. "I feel terrible about yesterday—for not insisting on you staying with me. I should have—"

I shook my head. "It's okay, really. I said I'd be fine, and I am. As it turns out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Do you have any Tylenol? I've got a horrid headache and—"

"Yep." She opened her handbag and threw me a little bottle. "What'd you mean before when you said it was the best thing?"

I swallowed the pills with some orange juice. "I rented my own apartment."

"What? Are you for real? _Where?_"

My cheeks warmed with my grin. "It's two blocks up the road. It's a studio apartment that's just . . . I love it! I could move in today, but I've got to buy some furniture first, so I'm going shopping. Can you believe I've got my own place?"

Angela blinked, her mouth opening and closing before a huge smile creased her eyes. "You mean we'll be almost neighbors?" She laughed and clapped her hands together. "Ooh! That's fantastic! Tell me all about it."

We ate side by side at the little table while I described the apartment with all its crazy uniqueness. "If you've got time," I said. "I could show you before you go to work. It's only up the road."

"I'd love to, but I start work in twenty minutes, so I'll have to leave in a few. You didn't rent it because of me did you? Because you _could _change your mind and still live with me. I'd love for us to be roomies. I would. You caught me off guard yesterday, that's all. Once Ben clears out the stuff from the spare bedroom, you can—"

"Ange. . ." I cut her off. "I love ya, but I _want _to have my own place . . . I wantto stand on my own."

"But—"

"I _need _to do this for myself. _You_ live by yourself. Surely you can see why I want to as well?"

"Yeah. I guess so." Her eyes focused on her plate. "It's just that . . . I was looking forward to living with you."

I twisted and pulled her in for a hug. "Oh, you're a silly duffer."

Angela offered me some of her things to help me set up my home, but I was adamant I wanted my own stuff. The thought of choosing my own sofa—my own _bed_—had my stomach fluttering with excitement. I couldn't wait to go shopping, but I knew I had to get measurements first and a better feel for the layout.

Angela dropped me off at the apartment on her way to work. I told her which windows were mine as we looked up at the building from the car.

"I hope the inside is in better condition," Angela said with a chuckle. But I could hear the cringe in her voice.

"I know it's dated, but I have plans to spruce it up."

"You know… if you stay with me, you could save yourself all that trouble."

I rolled my eyes and got out of her car. "Goodbye, Ange."

She laughed. "Love you!"

I smiled. "Love you, too."

Mrs. Forrester had been thrilled that I'd been able to pay the security deposit and first month's rent yesterday. So with the keys clanging in my hand, I climbed the three flights of stairs and let myself in. The first thing I saw was the incredible view through the two large windows in the living area.

I grinned. It was an even better layout than I remembered. Seeing it again also confirmed things I'd forgotten and missed. The bathroom was smaller than I recalled, but I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed the glass French doors that led into it. The adjoining kitchen seemed smaller too, but I loved the overhead cabinets with their frosted glass doors. The kitchen had the only window on the western side and the counter was a small 'L' shape, with cheery yellow cabinets, an ancient white oven and an olive green, 1970s fridge. And it had very limited preparation area.

"Damn. That'll be interesting. I may have to chop the veggies on the sink."

As I walked around the apartment, I noticed on closer inspection that the wallpaper was worse than I thought, which prompted an exciting idea.

Finding Mrs. Forrester at home, we had some friendly chit-chat over a cup of coffee in her living room before I asked her if it would be okay to remove the peeling green wallpaper and paint it something fresh and bright.

Mrs. Forrester almost choked on her coffee, lowering her cup to her lap, staring at me. "Are you pulling my leg?"

"Yes. I mean, no. No. I'm serious."

"Well . . . I've never had anyone want to renovate before, but . . . I think the owners will be thrilled." She put her mug on the coffee table and stood. "Let me call 'em and ask."

I bit my lip while listening to her make my request. She turned to me, covering the mouth piece. "Do you know what color you want?"

"I was thinking a creamy white."

"She wants a creamy white," she told them. "Ah-ha . . . Mm-hm . . . Okay . . ." Her eyebrows rose as she gave me the thumbs up.

I giggled, my stomach flopping with excitement. I could paint my place! The color I wanted!

She hung up and rushed back to her floral arm chair. "Guess what, love? They said they'd contribute two hundred dollars if you organized professional painters to come in and do it. How smashing is that?"

I laughed. "It's fantastic! I was going to get professionals in anyway."

I thanked her and with a beaming grin on my face, ran back up the stairs, taking two at a time.

After measuring the apartment, I realized I wouldn't be able to fit a comfy-sized sofa, a dining table _and _a bed if I wanted any space to swing a cat. Oh! A cat! Perhaps I could . . . No, I had to focus. What did I need a dining room table for anyway? I could eat at the coffee table while sitting on my lush new couch then sleep in my own Queen sized bed. Perfect!

"Ahhh!" I was so happy, I sang a note to the ceiling.

My insides were in a flurry to get out today and start buying things for the charcoal, green, and pink color scheme I'd seen of a room in one of Angela's home décor magazines. I'd loved it so much, I'd had that torn out page in my suitcase for the past two years. But before I left, I wrote out a list of things I wanted on my sea shell notepad:

_Queen, ensemble bed!_

_Bed & bath linens, etc_

_3+ Lamps_

_Armoire_

_Chest of drawers_

_Sofa!_

_Coffee table/Side table_

_Rug_

_Pictures/paintings_

_Dinnerware set and glasses_

_Silverware/cooking utensils_

_Pots and pans_

_Tupperware/mixing bowls_

_Microwave/Kettle/Toaster/Mix Master_

_Vacuum cleaner, broom, dust pan_

_Laundry basket_

_Hamper_

_Plants_

Phew! There were a _lot _of things a person needed when starting from scratch. And I _was_ starting from scratch. But I wouldn't let myself be ashamed that at twenty-two years of age, I was finally putting down roots. I felt too damn good about it! Thank god I had money in the bank.

I knew Mom would be happy, knowing she was contributing to my happiness, seeing me comfortable and independent.

When my cell phone buzzed with a message, I grinned, seeing it was Edward.

**Hey, cowgirl. You still in town? Or have you ridden off into the sunset?**

I laughed and sat cross-legged on the polished hardwood floors to relieve my sore back and feet.

**Was tempted to, but I got myself an apartment. How's Henry? How are you?**

**He's doing great. He'll be released this afternoon. An apartment? Wow! Did you fall out with Angela?**

**No. I just wanted to be independent. I need my own space. So glad to hear Henry's okay :)**

**Me too. What you doing this weekend?**

I bit my lip, hoping he was going to say what I thought he was.

**Not much. Why?**

**Still wanna come camping with us? Doc said Henry will be all right to go. **

I squealed like a four-year old, like Henry used to when I'd tickled him.

**I'd love to go! **

**Great! Where's your apartment? We'll pick you up at 8.**

**I haven't moved into my place yet. I'm still sleeping at the Travelodge. Rm 2. I'll see you then :)**

**I'll bring your suitcase too.**

**Thanks! I'll need that. Say hello to Henry for me?**

**Okay. Be careful :)**

**I will :) **

Despite how tired I felt from my lack of sleep, a toothy grin strained my cheeks while a warm wave of reassurance washed over me. It was a relief to know that though I'd lost my job, I hadn't lost my friendship with Henry. Just the thought of seeing Edward again, my belly filled with ticklish butterflies.

Tomorrow morning . . .

**-BM-**

After organizing the painters over the phone and finding a duo who'd start Monday, I hitched a bus ride to the local independent paint store where I bought loads of creamy white paint. I wasn't going to lug heavy paint tins on the bus, so for a little extra money, the owner agreed to deliver them first thing Monday morning.

Next stop was my favorite thrift store. The warehouse-type place was where I'd bought a few of my treasured clothes from. But this visit was _so _different. I'd seen furniture I'd liked here before, but had had to walk away from them. However, now that I had a home of my own, I was free to claim a high chest of drawers—that I'd paint black—and a large grass-green armoire that looked expensive. But wasn't!

And it was only the beginning of me handing over my bank card. The home décor stores had such beautiful things that I had troublereining myself in.

"Excuse me?" I said to a snobby-looking sales lady with glasses fifty times stronger than mine—her eyes like Mr. Magoo's. "I'll be buying a lot of things for furnishing my apartment, and I'll need everything delivered Monday afternoon." I had to stop myself from bouncing on my toes as I felt like a millionaire. "How do I go about that?" Okay, so a millionaire might know the process.

"You have a lot of things to buy?" Why did she seem skeptical? I looked like half the people here in jeans and a T-shirt.

I unfolded my list and held it up for her to see the length of it.

"Oh! Yes, ma'am." She nodded and fussed about under her sales desk. "Here, ma'am . . ." She handed me a barcode scanner. "This will make shopping so much easier. It's what brides use for their gift registries or for needs such as yours. Just scan the barcodes of everything you'd like to buy—it'll make a 'blip' sound to let you know it's recorded it—and when you're done, come back and you can double check what you've chosen before you make the payment. Is that all right, ma'am?"

I didn't recall being referred to as ma'am so much before. I guessed money bought a person respect as well as things. Was this how Edward felt all the time? So . . . important?

"Yes. Thank you."

The most cushiony, luxurious Queen Ensemble that felt like I was floating on air . . .

_Blip._

_Giggle._

Why the giggle? I wasn't just excited about never needing Angela's single bed again, but my hormonal side was imagining Edward in _this_ bed with me. Candles flickering around my apartment . . . the white fluffy comforter in disarray . . . our naked bodies adoring each other . . . Definitely giggle-worthy when we'd been so emotionally connected only yesterday!

The most stylish and comfortable charcoal couch with square arms and shiny metal feet . . .

_Blip._

After a quick bite to eat, I spotted some colorful throw cushions. I wasn't afraid of a splash of pink.

_Blip. Blip. Blip._

**-BM-**

**Week Two, Friday:**

Edward was due to pick me up to go camping in only half an hour, so I rushed into my motel bathroom for a quick shower. I'd finished packing and had already scoffed down some cereal, but my stomach was queasy again with nerves.

Would he want to talk about our kiss? Would he talk about a possible "us"? Oh God, I hoped so . . .

And what to wear? I didn't have much, but I felt like a new woman so . . . something that showed my legs. My little white dress screamed at me from my suitcase to cut off its tags and let it out on this bright summer's day.

This weekend could really bring Edward and me together, if I didn't have my damn period. Pulling my panties and pad off, I gaped at the fact I hadn't bled at all last night.

"What the . . .?" I'd never had such a short, light period before. How odd. I stood naked in front of the mirror as I recalled how stressed I'd been. Wednesday had been a hell of a day emotionally, with Henry's accident, and yesterday I'd shopped 'til I dropped.

Yes. This weekend's camping trip was just what I needed: to get away, de-stress and relax.

I stepped into the shower, sighing as the hot water hit my shoulders, the water cascading down my body. Edward would be knocking on my door soon, so I had to hurry. I also wanted to put on a touch of makeup and blow-dry my hair before then. I didn't know what to expect at the campgrounds we were going to, but I hoped they had hot showers. And flushing toilets.

A mischievous smirk lifted my lips. One good thing about my stress affected period . . . nothing stopping Edward and me from . . . getting _closer._

As I skimmed my razor from my ankle to my knee, I anticipated Edward running his hand up the same path . . . and further._ If _he touched me . . . Good God, I hoped he'd touch me!

I let out a gleeful squeal in time with my ever-present butterflies. God, I'd have to tone down my inner child for the next few days or Edward and Alice might stick me in the kiddie tent.

Everything in my life was working out to perfection!

* * *

**A/N:**

**Just remember the theme that resounds throughout this story…**

'**Appearances can be deceiving.' **

_**Rose… **_

_**Bella's period…**_

'**Til next time, girls!**

**Nyomi xx**


	21. Sex Kitten

**Chapter 21: S****ex Kitten**

**Many thanks go to **Belindella**, **Lettersie17** and **adt216, **who all continue to give their time and effort so selflessly. **

**I can't thank you girls enough :)**

**See? I haven't quit this story. There's still so much to come, I'm haunted by these characters! I'm sorry it took so long to update, and I truly hope to update quicker next time. Pinky swear! **

**Thanks to all the readers who reviewed, PM'd and emailed me, encouraging me to continue. It's wonderful hearing from you!**

* * *

_**Previously (real quick):**_

_**Henry was hit by a car. He broke his arm and got a concussion, and was in hospital overnight. Edward blamed himself. Rose, now back from Switzerland, saw Bella and Edward locked in an intense kiss/moment at the hospital. Rose fired Bella and later made up with Alice. Bella moved out of Rose's and into a motel near Angela. Bella later found an apartment of her own and had fun shopping by herself for furniture and paint. Rose was unusually understanding and civil towards Edward. He liked her civility, but was confused by her change in attitude towards him.**_

_**Okay…**_

* * *

**Week two, Friday, 4****th****July.**

**Edward:**

Ever since Bella and Henry left my house, things had never seemed so quiet. Wednesday had been horrendous. Henry had been hospitalized, Rose had fired Bella after catching us together, and Bella later moved out on her own. Now, without Bella and my boy's laughter and vivacity filling my home, loneliness was crushing me.

Yesterday afternoon, when Henry left the hospital and returned home with Rose, I'd sidetracked myself late into the night by working on my Chevy that had been returned from the spray painters.

Leaning against the side of my truck, I could've stood there all day and admired the new, glossy black paintwork, but I had to hurry if I was going to make it to Bella's motel by eight.

I threw the sleeping bags into the back of my truck. They were the last of the camping gear. Impatient to see Bella again, I pulled myself up behind the wheel of the truck, heading for Emmett's place first.

At Emmett's little house, he emerged in nothing but his favorite army cargo pants that he'd cut off below the knee and a pair of black flip flops, carrying a small backpack.

He waved. "Happy Fourth of July!" He bundled the tent gear leaning beside his door under his arm.

I shook my head at the crazy bastard, wishing him the same sentiment, and strolled around the back of the truck to unclip the tray's cover.

"Where's the little monster?" he asked.

"At Rose's. We're picking him up on the way to Bella's."

He flung his stuff into the bed of the truck. "For real? Huh. I'm finally gonna meet your ex. Do I need to bring my anti-bitch-foil glasses?"

"Heh! Maybe not. She's been... different since Henry broke his arm."

**-xxx-**

I knocked on Rose's door, and Royce opened it, knotting his tie. "Ah, why hello, Edward."

He smiled.

I nodded.

He opened the door all the way. "Well, come in, come in. Rosalie's still packing Henry's bag, I'm afraid. She hasn't stopped cuddling him all morning. I personally think she's a little sorry to see him go again, especially after… well, you know. Yes. Yes. And who is your friend, there?"

I motioned to Emmett, who followed me into the white marble foyer. "Emmett, Royce." Royce cast his eyes over Emmett's 6'2'' frame of muscle, doing a double take at Emmett's flip flops. They were complete opposites. Emmett was so casual I'd had to bribe him with two burgers just for him to put a shirt on before leaving the truck.

"Hey, man." Emmett held out his hand to Royce. "Good to finally put a face to the name."

Royce's gold rings were engulfed in Emmett's firm grip. "Nice to, er, meet you, too. Can I get you both a drink while you wait for Rosalie? I'm afraid she may be awhile."

Henry's giggle echoed from down the hall. The pull to see him after two days apart was insurmountable. "I'll just go see my boy."

"I could go a coffee," Emmett said as I left. "Thanks, man."

"Yes, of course, Evett. I might have a tea."

Henry cackled. "Mommy! Why you hugging mypillow? _Your_ pillow's on your bed. _'Member_?"

"Aww. Can't I hug your pillow?"

I stopped outside Henry's room, grinning. I'd always wanted to be a fly on the wall here.

"Nooooo. My pillow's a _boy_ pillow."

"But yours smells so much better than mine."

"Lemme smell… It's like Daddy's house."

"Oh you're so cute!" Rose chuckled. "Come here, Henry Edward Cullen!"

Henry's high-pitched squealing could only mean he was being tickled. As I rounded the doorframe to his bedroom, I eyed the scene I was no longer privy to as Rose's ex-husband. She sat cross-legged on the floor in nothing but a tiny red satin and lace teddy, her loose blonde curls barelycovered the see-through lace over her fake, inflated breasts. She had our son lying across her lap while she tickled his bare belly. Henry was only in flannel pajama pants himself. But seeing Rose so exposed made me feel like an intruder.

I cleared my throat and diverted my eyes. "Uhh, hey. Sorry for interrupting. I didn't know you weren't dressed, Rose."

"Psh!" She flopped her hand. "Nothing you haven't seen before. Daddy's here, Henry!"

Henry jumped up. "Look, Daddy! Mommy drawed pictures on my cast!" He dove into my arms with no care of his broken arm.

"Hey, buddy." I lifted him up and hugged him to my chest. "How're you feeling today? Does your arm hurt?"

He shook his curls. The bruise on his forehead looked better. "Uh-uh. I'm tough, hey, Mommy?"

Rose winced as she eased herself up, using the bed for support. "I gave him some special Tylenol at breakfast." She slid into a matching satin robe, leaving it untied. "Tylenol makes little boys strong and tough, doesn't it, Henry?"

"Uh-huh."

I chuckled, really looking at Rose for the first time. Was she sleeping in her make-up nowadays? No. It was too fresh.

"Well…" I rubbed my chin. "I might have to borrow your Tylenol for the camping trip. Just in case."

"I've already packed it. It's in his toiletry bag with an arm sling and an ice-pack." She winked. "Just in case."

Rose never winked at me... anymore. "Er, thanks. How'd he sleep last night?"

"Like the angel he is. No problems at all."

"That's my boy." I kissed his chubby cheek and he tightened his good arm around my neck. "Aw. I missed you, too, bud."

He leaned back and stared into my eyes, serious all of a sudden. "Bella still coming camping?"

I brushed his locks out of his eyes. He needed a haircut. "Yep. We're picking her up next."

Rose ambled over to the two backpacks at the door and dropped Henry's pillow on top. "Right, well… Sorry he's not dressed yet. Everything else is done, but—"

I waved off her apology. "It's fine. I'll dress him. You might want to get dressed yourself. I've brought a buddy with me."

"Who?"

"Emmett. He's out there having coffee with Royce."

"Uncle Emmie's here?" Henry squirmed to get down. "I wanna see him! I wanna see him!"

"Royce doesn't drink coffee," Rose said.

I struggled to hold onto my boy. "Yeah, I think he said something about tea, but… Henry!" He stopped writhing, so I put him down, bending to talk to him face to face. "Let's get you dressed first, _then_ you can see Uncle Emmie. Okay? He's not going anywhere."

"But, Daaad-dy." He stomped his foot. "I wanna see him _nowww_."

Rose paused in the doorway. "Henry's clothes are on his bed," she said before leaving us.

A while later I was getting impatient with the sleeve of Henry's T- shirt, trying to fit it over his cast, when Rose re-entered. "Hold still, Henry," I said.

"Oww."

"Just… a little… more… _Damnit_."

Rose gave a soft laugh. Her blonde hair shone golden against the knee length yellow dress she wore. In the short time it'd taken me to dress Henry, she'd drawn eyeliner on and tamed her curls into glossy waves. She'd have Royce salivating and wanting us to leave them alone. "I thought you'd be done by now."

I grunted. I'd hoped to be at Bella's by now. Every time I thought of her, I got butterflies like a thirteen-year-old meeting a pop star. "This shirt's too small. It won't fit over his cast."

She stepped forward. "Here. Let me." In a few swift motions, she had Henry's bulky cast through the narrow sleeve with the rest of the shirt over his head and pulled down. "There you go, darling. Now off you go." She patted his bottom as he skipped from the room.

"Uncle Emmie! Uncle Emmie! Look at my cast…!"

Rose smiled as she turned to me. "I missed him so much. Two weeks was far too long to stay in Switzerland."

"Yeah. But… _I_ loved having him for that time."

She nodded with sadness in her eyes. "Well... guess you better get going."

I sandwiched Henry's pillow under my arm and picked up the two backpacks by his door. "I'll call you when we get there, okay?"

"Thanks."

Walking out of Henry's bedroom together, I looked to the end of the hall and balked. A large photo frame hung at the end of the 'L' shaped hall, illuminated under two pin-lights. My heart gave a painful squeeze. I recognized the petal pink clothes—the tiny knitted socks, the fine cotton dress and the matching pink bonnet.

They'd been Cynthia's.

Our baby girl.

I didn't understand. After three years, _now_ Rosedecided to remember our daughter? "When did you get this done?" My voice rasped.

"Shortly after we divorced. But I've only been able to hang it this week."

Studying it again, I noticed Rose's hospital wrist band half concealed under the little bonnet.

In slow motion, I turned to my ex-wife. She took a step closer and gazed deep into my eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wanted to talk to you before now, but…"

"But what? You're suddenly ready? When I was upset about her, instead of comforting me or talking with me, you got angry and stormed off. Do you have any idea how hard that was to deal with when I needed to talk to you? When I needed my _wife_?"

"I know. It's taken me a long time to be able to speak about her. Your step-mom told me how hard it is for her not to know her child, or children, and hearing her story... Enough time had passed for me to open up to her. It's been so hard… dealing with the guilt and the grief." She rubbed her hand over her forehead.

"Guilt? _What_ guilt? What do you have to feel guilty about?"

Her brow remained motionless—Botox—as her eyes filled with water. "The blood clot in Cynthia's umbilical cord had to have been caused because I lazed around all day, giving into my cravings. That's how people get deep vein thrombosis on long flights, right? I didn't look after myself, after _her_." A tear slid down her cheek.

Before I knew what I was doing, my thumb wiped her cheek dry. "I never _ever_blamed you, Rose. That kind of thing during pregnancy can't be avoided. I just wanted to grieve with you."

She sniffled. "You got so angry. And I thought you had every right to be. It's only since talking with Esme… she told me you didn't blame me."

"You believe her, right?" The lump in my throat made it impossible to keep talking. I took a few deep breaths, swallowing the pain for a later date.

Rose dragged in a shaky breath and wiped the new tears that dripped down her cheeks. "Sorry for blubbering."

"Don't be." I rubbed her arm. It was such a big deal for Rose to show her vulnerable side—even more so with me. "Have you told Henry?"

"No. He hasn't even noticed the frame. I hoped we could tell him together."

"Okay. When we get back…"

She looked up at me with her glistening blue puppy dog eyes. "If I could do it all aga—"

Footsteps stopped her. "Sweetheart?"

Royce.

"Mm?" Rosalie surged forth a happy face, batting her lashes to dry her eyes.

He was studying the small, pottery vase in his hand. "What was the name of the English town you bought this from?"

"Canterbury. The name is stamped on the bottom."

"Oh, so it is." He smiled while his eyes flickered between us for a moment. "Oh, honey? I can drop you at Esme's on my way to the surgery, if you want. I have to leave in five minutes though, so..."

"Great. I'll just see Henry off first. If that's okay?"

"Of course. He's playing trains with Evett."

I frowned. "Do you mean _Emmett_?"

"Ohhh. Yes. Yes. That's what I said."

I left Henry's gear at the front door and overheard Royce briefly introduce Rosalie to Emmett. But by the time I rounded the corner to the open living room, Royce was talking again. Rose held the counter next to Royce, arching her back and rubbing her spine with her arm twisted behind her, while Emmett nodded along to Royce's story. Near the ten-foot long dining table, Henry amused himself with a wooden train set on the floor.

Royce's voice echoed through the large, minimalistic space. "…but the moment she realized it was _me_—her plastic surgeon—she invited me to join her at the Hamptons." He grinned.

Emmett nodded, blank-faced. "Wow."

"You guys ready to go?" I asked.

Emmett clunked his coffee mug down. "Yep!"

"Daddy! Oh, Daddy! Look. Can you fix it?" Henry held up his broken toy train.

Shit. Would I ever get out of here?

My boy looked at me with his big blue, puppy dog eyes. No doubt as to where he got them from. I sighed. "All right then. Give me a quick look." At the head of the table, I pulled out the leather chair and sat, placing the train on the shiny wooden table top. While Royce started on another one of his stories—this one about his recent trip to Vegas—Henry stood at my elbow, watching my every movement as I inspected the damage.

"Can you fix it, Daddy?"

"Yeah. A bit of super glue should do it."

"Here's some, Edward," Rose said.

She pulled a tube from a drawer, but dropped it on the floor. She groaned, parting her feet and bending with one hand on her knee. Looked painful.

"You all right?" I asked, but Royce's excited story-telling drowned me out.

"…not only that, but then the concierge said to me," Royce continued, "'I'm so sorry, sir. If I'd known it was you, I would have given you the _penthouse_ suite for _free!_'" He slapped his leg with humor, waiting for Emmett to laugh with him.

Emmett swooped down and grabbed the glue off the floor for Rose. He passed it to her. "There you go."

"Thanks."

"Now, Emmett," Royce said, "This is the good part. You'd never guess who I ran into next."

Emmett kept his eyes on Rose. "Bad back?"

Rose blinked. "It's nothing. I think I just over-stretched yesterday at yoga."

"Emmett?" Royce asked.

Emmett held his palm up to Royce, eyes on Rose. "If it's a strain, you should rest for a while with a heat pack on your back. Put your feet up for a while." He scratched his chest. "If the pain doesn't ease up in a couple o' days though, you should go see your doctor. You got anti-inflammatory gel? It works a treat."

Royce snapped his gaping jaw shut and tilted his head on the side, staring at Rose. Now all concerned, he rubbed her back. "I didn't know you'd hurt yourself, love. I'll nip down the drug store for some anti-inflammatory gel and give you a massage when I get home." He kissed her forehead. "My poor Snoopy-poo."

Did Rose realize he just called her dog shit?

"Do you get sore back's too, Emmett?" she asked.

"Nah, I'm a physiotherapist. Most my patients have spinal injuries from car accidents." Both Royce and Rosalie gawked at him, so he held his hands up with a chuckle. "Don't worry. I won't bill you for my advice."

Rose gave Emmett a rare giggle. "Gee! Thanks!"

"Anytime." He gave her a lopsided smirk.

Royce swallowed.

I grinned.

Who needed paid entertainment when you had access to Rosalie's apartment?

**-xxx-**

The several hour car drive and ferry trip to San Juan Island went too fast.

When Bella emerged in a cute dress with her dark hair loose down her shoulders, my eyes bulged and my heart rate took off. God she was beautiful. And then she smiled at me.

"Hi, Edward." Just hearing her say my name stirred the butterflies in my stomach.

I wasn't the only one affected. Henry almost wet himself with excitement at seeing her again.

He catapulted into her arms and she wrapped him in a hug, hauling him off the ground. "Oh!" she said. "I've missed you so much. How are you? I heard how brave you were in the hospital." She pulled back and clucked her tongue at the sight of his arm. "Aw. Lemme see…" She ran her fingers over his cast.

Henry placed his hand on her neck. "It's okay, Bella. I'm tough."

She choked on a chuckle and kissed his cheek. "I know you are."

After we secured Bella's things in the back, Emmett gave me a wink and squeezed into the rear seat with Henry, letting Bella sit up front with me.

At first it was kind of awkward, with both of us sharing shy smiles, but Emmett's teasing and hilarious commentary soon had us roaring with laughter. I hadn't had so much fun on a road trip. Ever. We all shared embarrassing camping stories and sang along to the blaring tunes on the radio. I don't even think Henry stopped smiling.

The sun was low in the afternoon sky by the time we finished setting up the four tents on our adjoining two campsites. The grassy sites were only a couple of meters apart, linked by a sandy path. We were right on the edge of the lake with a rocky shore at our doorstep, surrounded by pine trees and thick underbrush. Even the hundred or so other sites in the park weren't as private as ours.

Relaxing in my camping chair around the blazing fire pit, nestled between Jasper's and Emmett's tents, the view across the lake hypnotised me as the sunshine danced on the water of the lake. A breeze cooled my balmy skin, and I took another pull of my cold beer. Tomorrow would be perfect for swimming.

Bella and Alice had taken the boys for a walk to let them explore, while us guys got a head start on celebrating. It was the Fourth of July after all.

"Edward!"

I spun my head at Jasper. "What?"

Jasper chuckled with a knowing look at Emmett. "Little Eddie boy's lost in Bella land."

I cocked my eyebrow at Jasper. "Do you blame me?"

Emmett laughed. "You're falling, dude. I'm happy for you."

"Me too," said Jasper, saluting me with his beer. "How was Rose this morning?"

"Oh, crap! I promised to call her." Whipping out my phone, I punched in her home number. No answer. Could she still be at Esme's?

Esme answered on the third ring.

"Hi, Esme. It's just me. Is Rose there?"

"Oh, Edward. Yes, Rose is here. We've been hard at work, trying to find a new florist for the charity event. It's next Saturday, you know." I pictured her adjusting her red framed glasses and leaning back against the kitchen bench with her ankles crossed.

"Yes, I know. How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine. You know me." Esme never complained, even after her horrific ordeal, she just kept smiling. "Have you arrived safely?"

"Yes. I was just gonna let Rose know."

"Aw. That's nice." She lowered her voice. "Rose told me you two talked this morning. I'm so proud of her for speaking to you about Cynthia. I've been encouraging her for a while, but you know how these things take time."

"Yeah, I know. Well, if you can pass that on to Rose for me…"

"Okay, I'll let her know. Give Henry a kiss for me."

"I will. Thanks, Esme."

I disconnected, unsure what to make of the close relationship Esme and Rose had formed. Esme needed someone to talk to just as much as Rose did. And if they were helping each other heal, then it was a good thing. Right?

"How's Esme?" Jasper asked.

"She says she's fine."

Jasper nodded, knowing that didn't mean much. "Carlisle told me he found her in a daze the other night, wandering the gardens and muttering about her baby girl. Apparently, she had no memory of doing it either."

I pressed my lips together. Poor Esme. "Was she sleep walking?"

Jasper shrugged. "Sounds like it."

"My uncle used to sleep walk," Emmett said. "He was killed after walking right out the front door and onto the train tracks."

"Shit," Jasper and I said in unison.

We were interrupted by thundering feet as Jasper's two boys invaded the camp. Liam and Brody were giggling and puffing as they collapsed into their little fold up chairs. Their half eaten ice-creams dribbled over their fingers and dripped onto the brown pine nettles and grass.

"What are you doin' with ice-creams?" Jasper asked Liam, his eldest. "It's almost dinner time."

Liam licked his chocolate ice-cream. "Mom said we could have dessert first."

Jasper smirked. "Yep. That sounds like your mom."

Being the youngest of the boys, Henry arrived a moment later and plonked down next to me, his ice-cream melting big time.

"Henry!" I said. "You know you're not supposed to run with your concussion."

"It's okay. I'm tough." He sucked his ice-cream and got it on his nose.

God he was cute. I nudged his good arm. "Just don't run anymore, okay? Doctor's orders."

I looked up at the sound of muffled voices to see Alice and Bella deep in a serious conversation beside Jasper's truck. They were out of ear-shot. I was too intrigued to look away. Alice gave Bella a comforting hug before Bella meandered over to us around the fire while Alice headed under her tent's annex and into our makeshift kitchen.

"Hey, Jasper?" she called. "Can you get the watermelon out of the truck for me?"

"Sure." He got to his feet, pulling keys from his pocket. "Watermelon sounds great."

Bella lowered herself into the chair beside Emmett and snuck a glance at me across the flames.

Emmett tapped her thigh with the back of his fingers. "What? You didn't get an ice-cream, too?"

She scrunched her nose. "Nah. Alice offered, but… I really just wanted to go for the walk."

"But what about me?" he asked. "You could have brought back a white chocolate ice-cream for me. Gee. And I even let you sit shotgun in the car."

She laughed, her eyes rising to mine and staying there. I held my breath and gave her a crooked smile. I couldn't tear my eyes off her. She adjusted her glasses and looked away.

The urge to stroke her blushing cheek was incredible.

Emmett took a swig of his beer and looked at the three boys. "Who's up for a game of UNO?" He was met with an excited chorus of "Me!" "All right. Go get the cards, Brodes." Brody jumped out of his chair and ran past his parents before diving into the tent.

"Bring your chairs around," Emmett continued, "and we'll use the ice-box as our table."

Bella stood. "Here, Henry. You can have my chair."

"But I wanna sit on your lap."

"Oh, maybe later. I've gotta ask your dad something."

He gripped his hands in a pleading gesture. "Aww. Please?"

Emmett tapped Henry's knee. "You can be my partner, dude." Henry didn't say no. "Come on," Emmett said, pulling the chair closer to him. "You can help me deal."

Henry climbed up into the chair. "I know how to shuffle. Can I shuffle?"

Bella slid her eyes my way and walked over. "Hey. Do you know what Alice has planned for dinner tonight?"

I shrugged, channelling calm. "She mentioned something about steak burgers." Bella grimaced. "What's wrong?"

She sat down next to me and rubbed her thighs. "Um. It's just I'm feeling like something fresh. I might make myself a garden salad or something instead."

"You all right?"

She nodded. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit… _funny_. I don't know."

Emmett lifted the lid on the ice chest and pulled out a beer. "Here. Have a beer. It'll help."

"Ha!" She chuckled. "I _doubt_ it. Thanks anyway."

Emmett bobbed his shoulder. "Your loss. All right, boys. Who wants to throw the first card?"

"I need to use the bathroom," Bella whispered. "Do you know where it is?"

"I'll show you."

She smiled. "Thanks."

As I got to my feet, nerves erupted in my stomach. We were finally going to be alone.

"Henry?" I called. He looked up from his cards. "I'll be back shortly, okay?"

"M'Kay. No, Brody! It's _my_ turn!"

Glancing at Bella, I nodded my head to the dirt gravel road that linked the coastline campsites with the rest of the park. "Let's go."

She walked beside me, fiddling with her hands, her shoulders raised and tense. Was she nervous too? My hands started to tremble, so I jammed them into my pockets. This was ridiculous! I'd seen her naked—and done explicit things with her—_and_ she'd lived in my house for the past several days.

I was a grown man. I knew she liked me. I knew what she liked in bed. _Suck it up and make a move._

The close forest opened a little to a small clearing where barbeque tables and a large playground were set back from the road. On the lake's side of the road, a thick log had been placed on the grassy shore line, acting as a seat to the lake's unhindered views. "Bella. Wait." My heart started galloping around in my chest, my mouth void of moisture.

She slowed her steps to a stop and turned to face me. Her chest was rising and falling at a rapid rate, and it couldn't have been from just walking a few yards. Right? She pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. "Yes, Edward?"

God, I loved it when she said my name.

"Sit with me?"

Her eyes softened. "Okay."

We got comfy on the log, side by side, but there was still space between us. May as well have been an ocean. I placed my hand on the log's smooth bark, millimetres from her bare thigh, and leaned a little closer. The low sun illuminated her face and hair, the cool afternoon breeze lifting her hair off her bare shoulders. How'd I ever think she was plain?

"So what do you think of this place?" I asked, my eyes roaming over her face. "Glad you came?"

"Mm-hm." She took a deep breath. "It's gorgeous."

"Yeah it is."

Facing her lap, she raised her fingers to her glasses. My breathing deepened as she slid her glasses off her face, folded the arms and placed them on the other side of her.

I swallowed. "Bella…"

Her dark brown eyes flickered between mine, her chest rising and falling as fast as my own. In slow motion, I raised my free hand and tucked her hair behind her ear, smoothing the backs of my fingers along her jaw… backwards and forwards. For someone so strong, she felt so delicate, so fragile.

A quiet whimper escaped her and she leaned into my open palm, pressing it to her cheek. With a deep breath, she clenched her eyes shut. My chest overflowed with warmth at how much she wanted my touch. How much she wanted me. I cupped her other cheek and with her beautiful face in my hands, she slowly opened her eyes. Gazing deep into her kind, caring, loving soul, I lowered my face to hers.

Her hands slid down my forearms, and I had to remind myself she was really here. This wasn't a dream or a fantasy. This was real.

The blood humming through my veins became electrified, charged, sizzling from adrenaline. Her eyes closed just before I kissed her.

"Mmm." She placed her hand on my neck and pulled me to her. I almost lost control when she turned to face me more and fisted the hair at the nape of my neck.

Holding her face tighter, I tilted my head to the side, desperate to taste and feel her tongue. As our mouths moulded together, our tongues slid together.

Heaven.

We explored each other's mouths as my hands slid to her waist, giving her a slow squeeze.

She gripped my hair. "Ung!"

I sucked her bottom lip between my own and she moaned into my mouth, scratching her nails down my spine. I arched my back and gripped her hip, remembering that sound of hers—I _loved_ that sound—and many others I knew she could make.

She pulled me closer. I needed her closer.

Closer.

"Ooof!" I was knocked forward an inch by a ball slamming into my back.

Children shouted nearby.

Shit.

We both looked over at a kid's soccer game. They were watching. And snickering.

"I didn't even hear them," I said.

"Me either."

We both chuckled at being caught out.

A little red-headed boy ran up and grabbed the ball before bolting back to his buddies.

Turning back to Bella, I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. "Hey…"

The smile in her eyes was like glittering diamonds. "Hey."

I blinked. "Oh, shit! I forgot about showing you where the bathrooms are."

She ran her fingers through my hair and smirked. "I didn't need the bathroom."

My heart skipped a beat. Her half-lidded eyes swirled with molten lava. Dangerous and scorching.

I knew this sex kitten.

This was Marie.

* * *

**-xxx-**

**Hmm. TWO sex kittens in this chappie!**

**Dying to know what your thoughts are on Royce!**

**And Bella and Edward's kiss!**

**Till next time... **

**Nyomi xx**

**Chat with me on twitter: Nyomixx**


	22. Girlfriend

_**Chapter 22: Girlfriend **_

**Quick recap of last chapter:**

_Edward picked up Emmett and went to Rose's. Emmett met Royce, the douche bag, and the gorgeous Rosalie for first time. Edward collected Henry and the three of them drove to Bella's motel room to pick her, and all her stuff up. They then drove to San Juan Island campgrounds where they met up with Jasper & Alice and their two boys, Liam (7) and Brody (5)._

_Jasper and Emmett have their tents in one cleared site, while Edward has his big tent, and the little tent he set up for Bella at the other adjoining site._

_Bella asked Ed to show her where the toilet block was. Bella felt excited but also a little nervous about her plan to get Edward alone.. Edward is all eagerness!_

_He asked her to sit on a log with him. She took off her glasses (hoping for a kiss) and… They did kiss, for the first time since they were together. It was hot and steamy! _

_But they were interrupted by a wayward soccer ball._

* * *

**-xxx-**

**A massive thanks to my fantastic pre-reader and beta, Belindella. Big hugs and kisses XOXO**

**Friday, July 4****th****:**_** Camping trip. First day away.**_

**Edward:**

With the children playing soccer nearby, I knew we had to stop what we'd started.

I licked my lips and tucked Bella's hair behind her ear. I never imagined I'd get to kiss her within the first few hours of camping!

She slid her fingers from the nape of my neck, over my shoulder, and paused on my bicep. "Mmm." She squeezed my muscle, and I teased her by flexing it. She giggled. My skin tingled from her touch as her fingers traced my veins right down to the back of my hand. Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth.

"God, I love your lips." I leaned towards her, wanting to taste her again.

She lifted her mouth to mine, and I cradled her face, kissing her; gentle, slow, and soft. The temptation to sit there for hours, lost in my thoughts of nothing but her, was damn hard to refuse.

With a regretful sigh, I tucked her hair behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered closed as I stroked the side of her neck. "I hate to say it," I said. "But if we don't start heading back soon, there's every chance that Alice will send one of the guys to come looking for us."

"Mm. I wanted to give Alice a hand preparing dinner, anyway." After one last peck, she picked up her glasses that were beside her and placed them back on her little nose.

"Did you want to use the restroom while we're here?" I asked.

"I will, actually," she said, pushing off the log.

"I'll wait here." I rearranged myself so my shorts weren't as tight.

Her lip disappeared between her teeth again. "Okay," she said, giving me a girly grin before jogging away, a little skip in her step.

The gentle afternoon sea breeze carried the salty, sulphurous scent of the ocean, and I breathed it deep into my lungs. I'd just kissed my former nanny – _me. _I'd been her boss for months and had ignored her countless times. She'd had to cook and clean for me – and Rose – and do everything we asked_. _

And yet she still liked me!

The moment I saw her again, I reached for her hand. "Come here."

She gave me a warm smile and entwined our fingers together. As we walked back to the campsite, she hugged my arm to her, and laid her head against me. With a deep, contented sigh, I pressed my lips to the top of her head.

**-xxx-**

"So, are we gonna see any fireworks tonight?" she asked as we walked back to camp.

"Definitely. We can see them from the campsite. The town puts on a big parade and festival down at Friday harbour with a huge fireworks display at dusk, but we've found we enjoy just relaxing here by ourselves. It's quieter, and we don't have to worry about losing the kids in the crowd. Or one of them getting taken. I hope you don't mind."

A soft chuckle escaped her. "Not at all, Mr. Protective. All the better to get to know your family and friends a bit more."

I kissed her temple. Mr. Protective, indeed.

Henry and my nephews were entertaining themselves on the rocky shoreline, allowing Emmett to cradle his beer with both hands. I was still concerned about Henry running around after enduring his recent concussion, but my father had assured me he should be fine. He was certainly acting fine.

Bella unwound her arm from my waist, but I wanted to let everyone see us as a couple. I held her hand and led her up to the fire.

She pulled on my arm. "Are you sure, Edw-?"

"Hey!" Jasper gave us a huge grin. "Look at what's goin' on here, boys and girls! "

Yes, boys, this is my girl.

Emmett let out a low wolf-whistle that made Bella giggle. "That was some momentous _walk _you two had," he said, waggling his eyebrows. "Congrats, Dude!" He pointed his finger at Bella. "You must be one hellova girl, Bella. I've known Ed for almost three years and never seen him like this. "

I squeezed her hand. "She sure is one hell of a girl."

Her cheeks tinged with embarrassment, but she was beaming as much as me. "So are you. Um, a man."

About to chuckle at Bella, I noticed my sister who had stopped on the other side of the fire. Her mouth gapped, her stunned eyes flickering between me, Bella, and our joined hands. The cup she'd been holding now lay dumped at her feet. What was so confusing?

"How's dinner coming?" I asked her, to snap her out of her statuesque shock.

Bella pulled her hand from mine. "Do you need a hand, Alice?"

Alice blinked a few times. "I could have, half an hour ago," she said with a tinge of annoyance to her tone "But I've done it all. The kebabs are just finishing off now, so…"

"What are you talking about?" Jasper said. "I offered to help and you said you had it all under control."

She scoffed. "You, are as useful in the kitchen as tits are on a bull."

He looked at me. "Have you met my loving wife?"

"If you want something to do," Alice said to me. "Clean the boys up for dinner." Alice turned and strode the several yards back to the camp kitchen under her tent's awning, mumbling under her breath.

Subtle. Something was up her ass about my being with Bella.

I pointed to the chair I'd brought for Bella and had previously placed between Emmett's and my chair. "Sit down, Bella, and I'll go get the boys."

"No. I'll get 'em," she said.

"You're not the nanny anymore."

She frowned. "I know. I want to. _You_ sit down and relax."

"No, you sit down and relax."

"Oh, Jeez," Emmett whispered, looking up to the sky.

Bella and I looked at each other, trying not to laugh at ourselves. "May I get you a drink, Bella, while you get the boys?"

"Mm, yes, you may." She beamed in triumph.

"What do you prefer," I asked, walking around to the ice-box next to Jasper. "Beer, red or white wine, Vodka, or Bacardi and Coke?"

"Go the beer!" Emmett said, holding up his beer like a salute.

Bella wrinkled her nose. "Psh, no! _Bacardi_."

Emmett shrugged. "Fine. More beer for me."

Bella walked down to the shore. "Hey, boys! You ready for dinner?"

I pulled out a beer and watched Henry run up to her.

"Bella!" He rushed into her open arms. "Do you wanna play tag with us?"

"Umm, just a quick game. Dinner's almost ready." She stood up with her hands on her hips. "So? Who's the tagger?"

"You are!" Liam said, swatting her butt and bolting away. The other two boys, slower than Liam, ran away from her too, but she was right behind them.

"I'll get you!" she called, her hands outstretched for Brody and Henry. "I'm gonna get you!"

Henry squealed with delight when she grabbed him around his waist and spun him in a circle.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asked me.

I nodded toward the shore. "Bella and the boys."

Jasper and Emmett followed my line of sight and chuckled.

"Imagine Rose doin' that, man?" Jasper asked.

Emmett shot him a confused look. "She seemed like a good Mom this morning."

"She is," I said.

"She's just not..." Jasper didn't have the words.

"She's not like that," I said. Not like Bella.

**-xxx-**

Jasper reversed his 4WD closer to the fire pit and after opening the rear doors and connecting his iPod, he turned the speakers up loud. Country rock, and mixed pop music filled the air and we all started tapping to the beat. My fingers where itching to hold my guitar and play some tunes.

I was dying to play the new song I'd learned during the week. The moment I'd heard it in the movie _Country Strong_, I knew I wanted to sing it for Bella. It said all the words I've thought, and all the feelings I've felt towards her. The same way I wanted to give her my whole heart, I wanted hers unguarded, too. I wanted her to give in to me completely and utterly.

After her game of tag, Bella rounded the boys up and helped Henry and Brody wash their hands in the bucket of soapy water in the camp kitchen. But Liam insisted he was big enough to wash his hands by himself.

"Dinner's ready," Alice called.

Alice had prepared most of the food prior to coming, so it was easy for us to plate it up ourselves from the large containers. We filed into the camp kitchen, which consisted of a couple of long tables with a gas cooker on top, plates and cutlery, a water container with tap, and a couple of buckets; one for washing hands, and the other for dirty dishes. Under the tables were another ice-box and a couple of big plastic boxes loaded with food.

We heaped our plates with steak burgers, marinated chicken kebabs, potato salad and much more. The air was infused with delicious aromas that were tempting us to stuff ourselves like sharks in a frenzy.

We sat around the fire, our fold-out chairs in a semi-circle, with the kids sitting on two long wooden logs that were arranged on the other side of the fire from where we were sitting. Unfortunately for them, the breeze – though it had calmed right down – would pick up now and then, and blow the smoke straight over them. They didn't care, but I didn't like the thought of Henry breathing it in much longer.

"Daddy!" he said, dropping the stick he was poking the fire with and holding his crotch. "I need to go wee-wee's." He crossed his ankles.

"All right." I put my plate on the ground. "I'll take you. We'll just go behind a bush, okay, Buddy?" He nodded. I walked around the fire, squinting from the smoke, and led Henry to the row of big bushes that separated us from our neighbours. "Your arm okay, Buddy?" I asked. He nodded. "Do you have a headache?"

"No." After he'd peed, and I'd pulled his pants back up, he jogged off to rejoin his cousins who were eating sliced fruit in the kitchen. "Make sure you wash your hands, Henry! Liam? Liam? Help Henry was his hands, please. Mind his cast."

"Okay," Liam shouted. He led Henry over to the bucket of soapy water on the table.

"Wow." Bella licked the corner of her mouth. She'd eaten everything on her plate, despite her mentioning earlier that she didn't feel like much. "That was such a nice dinner, Alice."

Alice put her own plate on the ground, her eyes looked straight past Bella to her youngest son, Brody, who was whining that Liam had taken his slice of watermelon. "Liam! Stop teasing your brother! Don't make me come over there."

Did she just ignore Bella on purpose? Alice got up and pulled out her bottle of wine from the ice-box next to Jasper.

"Hey, Alice?" Bella asked. "How's work been?"

Alice looked up at her. "It's alright." She put the wine back in the cooler.

"I looked up your website," Bella continued. "Pretty impressive. And those baby clothes…! They were soooo cute. But who were the babies that were modelling the clothes? Were they children of friends of yours? I recognized your two boys modelling the 'boys wear' section."

Alice sat down and gave her a weak, polite smile. "Yes. They're my friends' kids. I gave 'em some clothes for payment."

Bella nodded. "Good deal."

My sister didn't reply, and my fingernails dug so hard into the palms of my hand, I could've drawn blood.

"Did you end up going shop hunting the other day?" I asked Alice through my teeth. Anything to get her back to her old self. What the hell could she think was wrong with me dating Bella? "Find anything suitable?"

"Mm, I found a couple that would be good, but they were both out of our price range, so…"

"We'll keep looking," Jasper said, rubbing her back. "The right one will come along. Just be patient."

To distract myself from snapping at Alice that she didn't deserve such compassion right now, I picked up my long-handled shovel and broke the coals up to displace the fire's heat better. A lightshow of sparks erupted which brought the kids over. The three of them sat on the two long logs, getting smothered in smoke.

"Out of the smoke, Henry!" I yelled, pointing to my chair. "Sit there." Poor kid had no way of knowing my annoyance wasn't for him, but happy-natured as he was, he climbed into my chair and continued his awe at the fire.

"Settle, petal," Alice told me, and I could've ripped her head off. "And I'm not washing up tonight. I cooked, so one of you guys are gonna have to step up."

I'll do them," Bella said. She mock-laughed at us guys. "Ha, beat ya'll to it. You miss out."

"DAMN!" Emmett boomed. Beer made Emmett boom.

"No, I'll do it," I said. "Bella's my guest."

"Who likes washing up," she added.

"Fine," I said. "But I'm drying."

"Oi," Emmett said to himself and looked at Jasper. "The dude's in deep if he's drying."

"Yeah, he's never dried for _me_."

**-xxx-**

"This feels weird," Bella said, pouring hot water from the kettle into the large wash bucket. "I've never washed dishes outside before. And never in a bucket!" She giggled and dunked a dirty glass into the soapy water.

"I thought you'd camped before," I said, picking up a tea towel.

"When I was at school. We had school camps, but we'd had running water and slept in cabins. I haven't been camping like this before."

"Well this isn't exactly roughing-it. But you'll get used to it quick enough. It's like living back in time. Everything is back-to-basics. Are you enjoying it?"

She thought for a moment. "Mm. I've missed the smell of a campfire."

Not the enthusiastic answer I was hoping for. "There's nothing quite like it, is there?"

After Bella, Liam and myself finished washing, drying and putting away the dishes, Liam joined his younger brother and Henry who were searching for their flashlights before it got dark. The setting sun had bathed everything in a golden orange glow, and the boys couldn't wait to use their flashlights. Though it was way past their bedtime, I couldn't bring myself to ruin the fun they were having by sending Henry to bed. Especially the first night.

Bella and I rejoined the others around the fire, which had died down to red coals and little flickers of flame. I bundled some wood together, from the pile beside my chair, and placed them on the fire.

Bella turned to Emmett and Jasper. "You guys aren't into stoking the fire?"

Emmett laughed. "No one messes with Ed's fire. _No one_."

Bella chuckled. "Oh really?"

"Don't listen to them," I said to her. "They're both liars."

Jasper giggled. The beer had kicked in. "Hee-hee. He waved his axe at me one year for putting on a log he thought was too big."

"That's right!" Alice laughed. "He's got to be in control of everything. Ha!"

Bella shot me a mocking grin. "Edward, controlling? Never!"

The guys rumbled with laughter, and I furrowed my eyebrows while I sat next to Bella and brushed the dirt off my hands. "I'm not that bad."

"Yeah, you're worse," Jasper said.

They laughed harder, cracking my pretence at seriousness. "Maybe a little bit…"

Bella moved to bump my leg with hers but stopped herself. "Well, you make good fire, Edward Caveman." She chuckled into the now-blazing flames, and I studied her side profile, mesmerized by how the flickering light danced over her high cheekbone, her slightly dipped nose, the curve of her throat. When could we be alone again so I could touch her soft skin, kiss those sweet lips?

Bella turned to the others. "What has Edward like when he was younger? Was he a rebel?"

Jasper giggled. "Edward, a rebel? No. He was always top of the class. Weren't you, Ed?"

I picked a stick up off the ground and threw it into the fire. "You make me sound like a nerd."

"You were!" Alice said. "You were such the teacher's pet. Our mantle and fridge at home where always cluttered with his trophies and certificates."

I scoffed. "You were just jealous. Unlike you, the teachers liked me."

Bella was grinning, finding this all so amusing. "So he didn't play sports?"

"Yes," I answered her. "I did. Throughout high school I played pretty much everything."

Bella tilted her head to the side, a smirk playing about her lips. "And did exceptionally well at them all, I bet."

My phone rang in my pocket, turning my smile to a frown.

I answered the phone. "Hello, Rose."

"_Hi, Edward."_

"Esme told you I called earlier?"

"_Yes, but I wanted to tell you something. And to say goodnight to Henry. Is he okay?"_

"He's fine. He's playing with the boys." I shouted for Henry to come. "Enjoying your weekend?" I asked her.

"_Not really. I um… I wanted to tell you that I… I… I broke up with Royce."_

My eyes popped wide. "You broke up with him?" It was the best news she'd ever told me.

"What happened?" Alice asked, leaning forward. "Did you say she broke up with Royce? Why?"

I stretched to my feet, pacing out to the dirt road, away from Alice's interruptions.

Rose sighed. _"I'd just had enough of his selfishness. Everything's about him. I don't think he ever really cared about me, you know."_

What did she want me to say? "Uh-huh." An awkward silence followed.

"_Yeah, he begged me to stay with him. But only 'cause he was going to be socially mortified. He'd put a photo of us in the newspaper for tomorrow's wedding announcements as a surprise. We hadn't even set the date yet! And all he could talk about since we got back from Switzerland were who we could invite to the wedding." _ She growled in frustration.

Why was she telling me all this? Didn't she have any girlfriends? "Rose… Have you told your friends?"

She took a deep breath. _"Yeah. They've convinced me to go out with them tonight to that new nightclub … Club Veto. You know it?"_

Know it? That's where I'd met Marie. Bella. "I know it." I cleared the frog in my throat. "Nice place."

"Is that Mommy on the phone?" Henry asked, walking into view. I waved him over, hoping he'd hurry up and save me.

"Henry's here," I said.

"_Okay, bye Edward. Say hi to Alice…"_

Henry snatched the phone from my outstretched hand. "Hello, Mommy…! Yeah I'm having _so_ much fun…" I stayed and listened to Henry's answers. "Yeah we're going swimming tomorrow, and Aunty Alice said we're going to the whale museum and if we're good, we can have lunch at the harbour… I will… I will… Daddy has been holding her hand a lot… Mm-hm."

My eyebrow shot up at Rose being so blatant in asking my son about my personal life. In front of me, no less.

Nodding as he answered "yes" a few times, Henry smacked a kiss into the handset. "You too, Mommy ...Night-night… Okay." He stabbed his finger on the hang-up button, pleasing me that I didn't have to talk to my busy-body ex-wife again tonight.

"So what's new?" Alice asked me before I'd even sat back down.

"Rose broke up with Royce."

Everyone exclaimed their shock, except Emmett who just stared at me.

"I knew it!" Alice chewed on her gleeful lips and rocked back in her chair. "What'd I tell you, Jasper? Royce was just a rebound crutch. I knew it! That's great news, Edward. _Really_ great news."

"Yes, it is."

A boom of fireworks silenced my voice, explosions pounding the air around us.

The boys sprinted past us whooping and hollering up at the sky as it ignited with sprays of colour, pops and sizzles.

We all leaped to our feet and ran after the kids to the shoreline where the view of the brilliant display was clearer. Bella stood at the back of our group, so I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her. With a contented sigh, she leaned against me and held onto my forearms, laying her head back against my chest. I tightened my hold on her.

The fireworks glowed brighter against the darkening sky. The moment they finished, Bella stepped out of my arms. I understood. Alice could see us. I didn't agree, but I understood Bella's feelings.

With the sun having disappeared a while ago, the boys' flashlights were useful illuminating the path back up the bank. The kids chased each other around the dying fire playing Cowboys and Indians. "Boys!" Jasper said. "Take it away from the fire."

They ran down the dark path to my tent. "Henry! Stay close where I can see you." A moment later, they came back down the path.

"Another drink, Edward?" Bella asked, walking over to the ice-box.

"Huh? Yes, thanks." One more beer then I'd put Henry to bed.

She handed me a beer and walked back to get her self a drink. "Thanks," I said, twisting the cap off with my hand. I took a mouthful before setting it down, giving me two free hands to use the shovel and get the fire roaring again.

"Anyone else want one?" Bella asked with the ice-box lid open. "Jasper?" He shook his head. "Emmett?"

"No thanks, sweetie."

"Alice?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Okay." Bella began mixing her own drink.

"I wonder…" Alice said after a moment. "I wonder if Rose broke up with Royce so she could get back together with Edward?"

Bella's eyes flung to Alice's. So did mine. "What!" I said, almost dropping the shovel. "Why would you think that?"

That was never gonna happen.

"Rose hates Edward," Bella said with her chin pulled in and brows knitted together.

Alice shrugged and cast her eyes to me. "Did she say why she broke off her _engagement_ then?"

Bella lowered herself into her chair, her puzzled eyes fixed to the ground in front of her.

I stabbed the coals with the shovel. "She said Royce was too selfish and too preoccupied with becoming a socialite – which coming from her sounded ridiculous, considering she has become more and more superficial over the years."

Jasper sucked on his beer before ducking to the side to avoid the fire's smoke that had swung his way. "Maybe dating someone like him has showed her how empty and shallow life like that is."

Alice nodded. "It would explain why she's reaching out for her old life again. Have I told you guys how Rose apologized to me at the hospital? She phoned me during the week and we had one of the best talks ever."

I groaned and tossed the shovel on the ground. Now her and Rose were chummy again? Great.

Collapsing in my chair, I placed a hand on Bella's leg. Bella looked at it, then at Alice who was also watching my touch. "God," I said, rubbing my hands over my face. My first girlfriend since my divorce, and my sister was making her tense up at every sign of my affection.

"What do you think, Edward?" Alice asked. "Surely you think Rose breaking up with Royce is good news."

"The only thing I'm glad about, Alice, is that Royce isn't gonna be around my son anymore."

"Hey," Jasper said, cracking open another beer. "You guys remember that trip we took to the snow a few years back? Remember Edward?" He laughed. "Ha! When you almost got in that bar fight with that big dude because you refused to let him have the pool table! Remember that?"

I took a pull of my beer. "Like I could forget."

"Oh, that was a great family holiday," Alice said, sipping her wine. "It was incredible how Rose made that bulky ski gear look good. I swear she could make a sack of hessian look like a designer dress. She was so beautiful. Still is. Remember how Edward and Rose never emerged from their cabin till lunch time every day?"

Bella didn't know where to look.

My jaw clenched. I had to end this. "Alice? I need your help with something for a minute." Bella turned anxious eyes to me, but I got up and strode away. Pine needles and twigs crunched under my shoes as I headed to the dirt road, where I hoped my conversation wouldn't be overheard.

I kicked the stones on the road, trying to tame the raging tiger that wanted to rip into my sister.

"Edward," she said with a chuckle as she came into view. "What's going on?" But I saw straight through her drunken confidence.

Despite how hard my adrenaline was pumping, I kept my voice low and controlled. "Talking about my ex-wife like that in front of me and Bella, it's going to stop."

She scoffed. "Last week, you promised us she was just a friend. And now she's what? Your _girlfriend_? How could you possibly feel that much for her since last week?"

"Man, you're being a bitch."

She frowned. "I am not being a bitch."

"Yes. You are. Especially to Bella. I don't need your approval, but I thought I'd at least have your support in getting on with my life. Can't you see she makes me happy?"

She took a deep, steadying breath. "I just want the best for my brother. Have you forgotten you were listed as one of Seattle's Top Ten Eligible Bachelors last July? Do you really want the papers to print that _you_, Edward Cullen, are now dating your nanny? Your _nanny_?" She lowered her voice. "Rose, on the other hand, is—"

"Oh, shut up about Rose!"

She whacked her hand against her thigh. "Goddamn it, Edward. Rose broke up with Royce – _today –_ after you were at her place this morning. And then she calls to tell you! Think about it. Think about how great it would be for Henry to have both his parents back together again."

I blinked, unable to respond.

"Look," she said, calming down and stepping closer. "I can see Bella is young and doe-eyed and sweetly naive, and of _course_ she likes you, but if you'd never noticed Bella, how do you think you would feel about Rosalie's change toward you now? Knowing there was a possible chance to mend things? Honestly?"

"I ..." I might've started thinking like Alice. "But, I'm with Bella so there's no point in speculating what I might have felt."

"I know you, Edward. I remember how devastated you were when your divorce went through. You cried that you would have done anything to get Rose back. To try for another baby. To have another chance at your marriage. Well what if this is your chance? What if –?"

"That was years ago, Alice. And _you've_ disliked her as much as me over the years too, remember?"

"I know. I know. And I'm sorry for that. But… I never thought Rose would change, or want to be friends with us all again. But she's a better person now, Edward. Just… Just don't throw away forever for a bit of fun right now." When I didn't answer, she turned on her heel, but before she stalked away from me she gave one final dig. "You could turn back the hands of time, here, Edward."

In the engulfing silence that followed, I struggled with my jumbled thoughts, justifying my heart over my head.

**-xxx-**

My heart was with Bella.

End of debate.

Bella may be young, but she was not naïve when it came to hardship and loss. She had been more than understanding of my divorce and loss of Cynthia. Bella had her own sad past to deal with, and if we could share each other's problems, carry each other's burdens, and make each other laugh, then we'd both be stronger for it. I knew we would.

I trusted her enough to know that we had every chance at happiness.

After a few calming breaths, I walked back to Bella. With concerned eyes, she gave me a tentative smile.

"Hey you," I said, sitting down next to her. She had a fresh drink in her hand. "How you doing? You ok?"

She rubbed her leg. "I'm fine." She glanced towards Alice. "What happened? What did you say to her?"

I leaned closer to her, wanting to feel her warmth. "Don't worry about my sister. She's just meddling like always." I could tell Bella wasn't satisfied with my answer, but thankfully she didn't push for more.

"Oh, I love this song!" Alice said, starting to sing and sway in her chair. Jasper started singing _American Pie_ with her. I hated that she was enjoying herself after what she'd just said about Bella.

I needed a piss. "That tire's leaking again."

Alice sighed as I walked off. "Psh! It's so easy for guys to pee outdoors, hey, Bella? They don't have to worry about getting their feet wet or a snake biting their butt." Everyone laughed, even Bella. I watered the tire and zipped myself up. Alice rose to her feet when I walked into sight. "Well, since you're done defiling our car, I'm gonna drive myself to the bathroom. Bella do you need to go, too?"

Bella looked up at her, surprised. But not as surprised as me. I was glad Alice was trying to be nice, but I couldn't squash my suspicions that she had an ulterior motive.

Bella shook her head. "I'm okay, Alice. Thank you anyway."

"Okay then. See you guys soon." She got in the car and took the song with her.

In the sudden absence of our music, we sat there, watching and listening to the kids laugh as they chased each other by flashlight in the dark. "Boys," I called. "Start settling down. It's almost time for bed."

Bella turned to me, looking uncomfortable. "I, um…" She twisted to face me more. "I know I said I didn't need to go, but I do." I frowned, not knowing what she was talking about. "Do you know where some toilet paper is?" she asked. "I need to go."

"Oh! Yes." She followed me into the kitchen, and I passed her a toiletry bag that had tissues in it. "Alice packed this for you."

Bella studied the bag of hotel-size shampoos, soaps and lots of other tid-bits. Her eyebrow quirked. "That was nice of her." She walked to where the iridescent light became shadow. But turned back again. "Where should I go?"

"Anywhere you feel comfortable." Her face remained blank. "Just tuck yourself into some bushes where you feel like people can't see you."

She blinked and looked over her shoulder into the darkness. "Could I have a flashlight? To make sure there are no snakes or spiders."

"Uh… Yes." I handed her the bright, L.E.D lamplight off the table. "Here. You might want to turn it off before you pull up your dress, though."

Fear flashed in her eyes. "And um… what do I do with the tissues? Do I leave them in the bushes or…?"

I'd never had to think about it. "Erm… How about…" I gave her a plastic bag. "Put them in this and then you can put it in the trash."

Lifting her chin, she squared her shoulders… and tiptoed behind the tent. The glow from the lamplight illuminated the rear of the tent for a few minutes, before it went dark. Feeling peckish, I opened a bag of potato chips I found in one of the food boxes.

Jogging back into the makeshift kitchen, she was breathing fast and her cheeks were flushed. She placed the lamplight on the table before dumping her plastic bag in the trash. "I don't wanna do that again anytime soon."

"Aw. You'll get used to it."

She shook her head as she lathered her hands in soap. "I don't think so. I should have walked to the bathroom."

When she finished drying her hands, I held out the bag to her. "Chip?"

She took a chip and placed it in her mouth with a playful smirk. "Mmm. Delicious." Such a teasing little minx. I licked my lips and moved towards her. "Come on, Mr. Fireman." She winked, grabbing my hand and leading me away. "You've got a fire to attend to."

**-xxx-**

As soon as car headlights blinded us all, Bella took a slow, deep breath in and out. Alice had returned. My grip on my beer tightened. Even the beer wasn't dulling my annoyance at how she'd managed to dampen this holiday. Alice reversed the car between the two tents again and though music filled the air once more, the tension returned, too.

"Missed me?" Alice asked Jasper, walking over to us all in her matching pajama shorts and top. Her hair was wet and spiky, so she must have stayed for a shower.

"Mom?" Brody said, walking over to her. "Where'd you go?"

"What are you boys still doing up?" She asked, lifting him onto her hip. She turned to Jasper. "I told you to put our boys to bed."

He waved her off. "Ah, let 'em be. They're still having fun."

"Hey, kids?" Emmett said. "Wanna sleep in my tent tonight?"

Liam jumped up and down. "Really? Really? That'd be so cool! We can stay up all night telling ghost stories."

Emmett looked at us adults. "Alright you guys – _and_ girls – you're on your own tonight. But it's only for tonight. I can't handle two sleepless nights in a row."

Henry tugged on my arm. "Can I sleep in Uncle Emmie's tent, too?"

I lifted him up. "How're you feeling? Does your arm hurt?"

He held his cast to his chest. "It hurts a little."

"Okay. We'll get you some tough boy medicine. You really want to sleep with the boys tonight?"

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

"Okay." I patted his back, trying to contain my own excitement. Bella and I could be alone... "Come on. We'll brush your teeth first."

Bella looked at me through lowered eyelids. The air between us filled with electricity, full of possibilities for the night ahead. Her cheeks flushed with heat as she moistened her bottom lip with her tongue. My eyes were mesmerized. What she did next sent my blood hammering through my body.

She lifted one corner of her lips… and smirked.

**-xxx-**

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

**Well there we have it. The next chapter. Took a bloody long time to update, I know, and I deeply apologize to you all. You'll be glad to know that I've already written the next 2 chapters. Chapter 23 is in with the pre-reader now. So it won't be long till the next update!**

**I'd love to know what you think about Alice's hopes for Edward and Rose! **

**Do any of you know what song Edward hopes to sing to Bella next chapter? The clue is there!**


	23. Songs, Sex & Scruples

_**Chapter 23: Songs, Sex & Scruples**_

A huge thank you to all who read and reviewed! Thank you! You're so kind to have stayed with me and to continue your words of support and encouragement. I appreciate it sooooo much. xx

**Thank you also to my beloved sister, pre-reader and awesome beta, Belindella. Without you, my story would resemble a scrambled egg. Luv ya! xx**

* * *

**Friday night, July 4****th****:**

**Edward:**

**-xxx-**

After Alice and I brushed our boys' teeth and transferred their sleeping gear into Emmett's tent, we kissed them goodnight and left them to watch _Toy Story_ on Liam's iPad. They'd be asleep in minutes. Let the adult times begin!

I found Bella finishing off her fourth Bacardi at the fire, giggling in hysterics with Jasper and Emmett.

"What's so funny?" I asked, standing behind my girl. I gathered her hair off her shoulders and massaged her neck with light, slow strokes. Her shoulders relaxed at my touch, but her hands clenched her glass.

"You!" Jasper said, pointing his finger at me. "I can't believe you told Bella about that Halloween party in College!"

"Ha! You're not embarrassed are you?"

Emmett laughed harder. "Oh-ho-ho, I would have given anything to see Eddie all made up like a hooker!" He raised his empty beer to Jasper. "And you – _pimp - _get me another drink."

"How bout I shove your beer up your ass?" Jasper said.

Emmett blew him a kiss. "You're a daisy if you do."

Jasper chuckled and threw him a beer from the ice-box. "Dickhead." He turned to me. "Ed? Feel like playing a few tunes?"

I smirked. "Be back in two." I jogged off down the little trail which linked our two campsites and pulled back the rear tray cover on my truck. My blood buzzed with excitement as I grabbed my guitar case.

When I got back, Jasper had turned off the car music and was strumming a few notes, warming up his drunken fingers. I sat on the log closest to Bella and opened my guitar case. I made sure it was in tune by going through a few notes, too. We played a few songs together – me as back up player since Jasper was the better singer – and it was great to see everyone smiling and singing along.

Jasper put his guitar down after we finished a Brad Paisley song. "Take the floor, man. I've gotta piss."

This was my moment. "All right." Clearing my throat, I started strumming the slow, rhythmic tune of Bella's song. "This one's from a movie I saw. It's a slow one, but I like it." I looked at Bella and after a deep breath, I began to sing.

I'm gonna wear you down  
I'm gonna make you see  
I'm gonna get to you  
You're gonna give in to me_  
_

Bella's surprised eyes were glued to mine. I held her gaze, wanting her to know how much I meant these words.

I'm gonna start a fire  
You're gonna feel the heat  
I'm gonna burn for you  
You're gonna melt for me

Come on, come on  
Into my arms  
Come on, come on  
Give in to me

You're gonna take my hand  
Whisper the sweetest words  
And if you're ever sad  
I'll make you laugh  
I'll chase the hurt

My heart is set on you  
I don't want no one else  
And if you don't want me  
I guess I'll be all by myself_  
_

Bella's smile softened. Now she knew. She knew I was serious about her. About how much I wanted her in my life.

Come on, come on  
Into my arms  
Come on, come on  
Give in to me

I'll use my eyes to draw you in  
Until I'm under your skin  
I'll use my lips, I'll use my arms  
Come on, come on, come on  
Give in to me

When I finished the last strum of the guitar, everyone was silent.

Alice was mute, but her face spoke volumes. I had no doubt she understood now who I wanted to be with.

Bella's misty eyes hadn't moved off me. I had to kiss her. I placed my guitar to the side and got to my feet. She held her breath as she watched me stride towards her, determination in my every step. Reaching for her hand, I pulled her to her feet, and forgetting everyone around us, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her sweet lips.

I think my heart exploded when she really did… melt for me.

**-xxx-**

A couple of hours later, Alice and Jasper said they were going to bed. With nerves knotting up my insides, I pulled the fire apart by separating the logs, leaving low flickers of flame and the glowing embers to die out by themselves.

Jasper gave us all a friendly up-nod. "Night, guys."

"Night, Man." I returned his nod.

"Night," Bella said. "Night, Alice."

"Good night," she said, taking Jasper's hand. Her attitude towards Bella had improved since our little chat, but she still wasn't herself.

"See you all tomorrow," I said, holding out my hand for Bella. She placed her hand in mine and smiled. After wishing Emmett a goodnight, too, Bella and I walked in silence down the sandy path to my two tents. I was careful to keep the flashlight illuminating the dark trail. I couldn't wait to get her alone. She giggled now and then, and gripped my hand tighter. The tree canopy overhead was denser over my site, so the scant moonlight barely penetrated. Over here we were all alone, and isolation had never felt so good.

She stopped under the annex at the front of my big tent and turned to me. "Do you… you know? Have… _protection_? I assume you do, but I just thought I'd ask now 'cause if you don't, maybe one of the other guys could… you know…"

My eyebrows shot up at her eagerness. Bridging the gap between us, I put my hands on her hips and pulled her against me. "Don't worry. I came prepared."

She smirked and lifted her face. "Well I'm glad one of us did." She wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Mmmm." Slipping my fingers beneath the hem of her top, I luxuriated in the feel of her supple skin. She moaned under my touch, and remembering her familiar sounds, I knew this was gonna be one hell of a night. "I'll get the tent door…" My stupid hands wouldn't co-operate with my eagerness to get the tent's zipper opened. She giggled at me and my incompetence, and it reminded me of my first time trying to unhook a bra. I gave her a crooked smile, hoping to restore some confidence, and placed the flashlight inside on the tent's floor. Like a sign from god, the flashlight illuminated the bed. I had to hunch under the low annex while I held the door flap open for her.

"Why, thank you," she said, a little nervousness in her voice. She stepped over the tent's threshold and took off her glasses to place them on top of her bags beside the door.

In record time, I had the door's zipper sealed good and tight. We were finally alone, out of sight, out of ear shot. Alone.

We stood for a long moment, facing each other. Breathing fast. Our eyes searching. Heart's pounding. Making sure…

With startling strength, she flung her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her open mouth. God her lips felt like heaven. Putting my hands under her butt, I lifted her. She jumped up, wrapping her lissom legs around my hips. From the dim light from my flashlight, discarded and forgotten on the tent floor, I walked her backwards, keen to have her on her back. Her hands gripped my back, as mine squeezed her butt cheek and her waist. When my foot hit the base of my bed, she dropped down to her feet and tugged at my shirt. She stripped off my top half. Looking down on her, my bare-chest rising and falling as I struggled for air, she studied my chest through heavy lidded eyes. Her teeth were clamped onto her bottom lip. I ran my thumb over her lip and loosened it from her hold. She raised her eyes to mine as her fingers deftly unzipped my pants. How could one girl be so sweet and shy, then be such a confident wild cat when alone? She pressed her lips to my chest and as she kissed her way down my stomach, she also pushed my pants down over my butt. My throat bobbed as I swallowed. Hard. She released me from my confined space, and as I sprung free, she looked up at me with a hungry look in her eye.

I remembered that look. I _loved_ that look.

Before I could form words, she surprised me again by dropping to her knees and in one fluid motion, took me into her warm, wet mouth. I died and went to heaven.

"Oh god!" I watched with awe as she worked her mouth and tongue all over me. She felt better than I remembered. I closed my eyes and ran a hand over her silken hair. Images of her from our one-night-stand flashed in my mind. She'd called herself Marie. But most of the time I'd called her… what was it?

Oh that's right…!

"Blue eyes…"

Bella stopped and looked up at me.

I realized what I'd just moaned. Oh. Shit. "Sorry. I didn't-"

"It's okay." She wasn't angry. Or even upset. Instead, her eyes scrunched at the corners as she smiled with affection. "I liked it when you called me Blue Eyes. Even though my eyes aren't actually blue, I still liked that you had a nick-name for me."

Gazing into her open face, I lifted her to her feet and pulled her lips to mine. The overwhelming urge to cherish and pleasure her made my body shudder with excitement. And a touch of fear. How could she stir emotions in me like this? I hadn't felt this strongly for a woman in years. Not since…

I poured everything I felt for her into my kiss. I sucked her lip, tasted her tongue and massaged her gorgeous, perky breasts. Pulling her against me, I hoped she could feel for herself just how strongly she affected me.

"Wow," she breathed into my ear as I started nipping along her collar-bone. "You never kissed me like that before."

"I know."

With her eyes trained on me, she laid back on the bed, radiating sex and confidence. Crouching down, I followed her to the centre of the bed, feeling like I was a stalking lion, about to devour my prey. I slid her clothes off her limbs as torturously slow as I could, 'till the entirety of her beauty lay bare before me. Even in the faint glow of light, she was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her ankles were my starting point. I kissed the silky skin of her legs, each of her hip bones, her soft stomach and up between her perfect breasts. She moaned and gripped at my arms and shoulders, arching her back and writhing with impatience. I teased her a little more by taking her pert nipple into my mouth, making her gasp and groan. It was an addictive sound I anticipated hearing again and again, over many nights to come.

She hooked her leg over my hip and pawed at my back, trying to pull me on top of her. "Unnnnnng."

"Patience," I said, lying beside her and squeezing her firm butt cheek. "I'm not gonna rush this." I stroked along her thigh. "Tonight… it's all about you."

A gentle sigh escaped her and she ran her hand down the side of my face. "But I want it to be about you, too." If I didn't know any better, I'd swear there was more than affection for me in her face and voice.

I gave her a lopsided smile. "Next time." I stopped any refusal she was about to make by sucking her nipple between my teeth. Feeling and watching her respond to my touch made my whole body ache for her. She parted her legs in invitation, and I trailed my fingers from her breast, downwards across her belly, determined to show her how deeply I felt for her, and to see her unravel at my touch. Multiple times.

**-B?M?-**

**Saturday, July 5th**

**Bella:**

Edward's passion was as all consuming and overwhelming as a tornado. The only thing that could match his enthusiasm was my own. To say Edward is good in bed is a huge understatement. Like seeing the Earth from space and saying; "Gee, that planet is tiny." The man was unstoppable, determined to give me a good time. He deserved a medal for stamina.

When we'd first slept together, two weeks ago, I never thought we'd have another chance. A lot had happened in those two weeks. He was my boyfriend now, and my love for him continued to grow. But being with him this time was different. He knew me now, and he'd showered me with kisses, affection and sweet words. I had no idea he could be so tender and romantic. The song he'd sung me earlier was so beautiful; I'd struggled to hold back my tears. I hadn't had a man promise to value me like that since… well, since my dad. And here was Edward, so much more than a father figure. I could definitely see us getting married one day, and having kids and holding each others walking canes when we're old and wrinkled. Would he keep his hair, I wondered. I bet he'd still be handsome as an old man. And just as attentive.

I was _not _going to mess this up.

Outside was starting to brighten, and Edward and I still hadn't slept. I needed to ask the dreaded question. The delicious night with him was ending, along with my courage, as the approaching sun meant only one thing… Alice. She may as well have had an aneurism when she saw me with Edward. She'd made me feel like a fifth wheel most of the night, and even after I'd tried to get her to talk, she still seemed frosty. She was so different at the barbeque we'd had at Edward's last week. Back then, I'd thought she'd liked me. Now, she treated me like an intruder. Was I really that wrong for Edward?

"So… what happened when you talked with Alice?" I asked, scratching my fingers through his chest hair, waiting for his answer.

He ran a hand over his face. "Don't let her ruin our trip. Let's just enjoy ourselves."

"Wow. It must have been bad."

"I've been thinking…" he said in an uplifted voice. "How about we go out to dinner Sunday night. You, me, a nice restaurant…?" He kissed the top of my head. "Hmm? Sound good?"

"Sounds great." But I wasn't an idiot.

Something had been said about me, something too horrible to be repeated.

My stomach tightened and rolled, churning like the frothing black clouds of a storm front. Could it be that Alice didn't like me as his girlfriend? What could I do to make her see I wasn't a slut, out to use her brother? I coughed, hoping to dislodge the sticky lump of worthlessness that regularly got lodged in my throat.

But Edward's touch did the trick. His fingers skimmed down my side and lightly scratched the front of my hip bone. "Let's go for a swim," he said, half sitting up. "Just us. Before the others wake up."

Two sides of the tent had begun to glow a pale yellowy-grey with the rising sun and the thought of swimming with my half-naked Edward... "You're on."

"I'll go get the towels from the truck." He stood up and pulled some swimming trunks over his pale, toned butt. Mmm. Delicious. "You bring your bikini?"

"You bet your sweet ass I did."

Our chilly morning swim was every bit as uplifting as I'd hoped. Edward's warm and muscular body slipped against mine as we clung to each other in the deep water, reminding me of sweeter activities we enjoyed a few hours earlier. And his bare upper body, shimmering wet and painted golden with the early gleam of the sun, was a vision I wanted to capture with a paint brush.

"Daddy!" Henry called, coming towards us, wearing swimming shorts and T-shirt. "Can I come in, too?" Henry wadded in up to his calves.

"Wait, Henry," Edward said, holding up his hand. "Wait there for me."

"I'll go get his arm-wings," I said, walking to the shore. He did have a water-proof cast on.

"Stay there, Babe," Edward said to me over his shoulder. "I'll carry him."

Oh, my God. He called me babe! On a happy sigh, I fell backwards and let the cool, silky water wash over my shoulders and caress my neck.

Before Edward even reached Henry, Liam and Brody came bolting down the hill, stripping off their shirts as they ran. "Woo hoo hoo! Let's swim!"

Emmett chased after them, his eyes still puffy from sleep but his smile eager for the day ahead. "Wow, that water looks great!"

Edward carried Henry into deeper water, back to me.

Emmett, Jasper and Alice emerged a moment later, and the two men came straight into the water, while Alice sat on the shoreline in a white T-shirt and tiny denim shorts. She took photos of us swimming with her iPhone, and I was glad she didn't come in.

"Bella?" Edward said. "Can you hold Henry for a bit?"

"Of course I can."

"Thanks." Edward passed Henry over to me. I had a feeling he was up to something.

"So, Dude," I said to Henry. "How was sleeping with the big boys?" Edward turned for the shore, his back muscles flexing as his lower body slowly emerged out of the water. Mm – _mmm_.

"…and then," Henry said. "Liam stuck his wet finger in my ear and woke me up."

"That's nice." I kissed his chubby cheek, realizing I hadn't been listening to him.

Edward's knees broke through the water and he began stalking towards Alice like a mountain lion hunting a sitting rabbit. Alice pulled her legs closer. "No, Edward," she said, pointing at him. "Don't even think it." He crouched lower and in a rush, swooped her into his arms. I burst out laughing when she screamed and thrashed, trying to get free. But he ran into the water. "NO! Nooooo. He dumped her in the water on her back. Edward was laughing too, but I couldn't hear him over the other guys who were in hysterics.

Alice scrambled to get vertical and when she did, she shot out of the water like an angry white shark. Her now-see-through white T-shirt clung to her like a second skin, revealing her black bikini underneath. She swiped the water from her eyes. "YOU…!"

Edward gave her a satisfied, sly smirk as he walked away. "Oh, you had it coming, Al."

"I… _what_?"

Henry was jumping in my arms he was so excited. Though my bones were whistling too, I toned my delight down to a smile so Alice wouldn't know how happy I was to see her dumped.

Edward's cell phone rung loudly from our bundle of clothes on the shore and he rushed out to answer it. "Hello? Hmm?" His brow knitted together as his smile disappeared. Whoever it was, they weren't giving him good news.

**-B?M?-**

**Edward:**

"Thanks, Esme." My head was whirling with anger and still more questions. I'd already pummelled Esme for details, but I still didn't know what to make of what she'd just told me.

"_Hurry back, won't you."_ She disconnected the line, and I stared at the phone, dreading having to repeat what I'd just heard.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked.

I ran a hand through my hair. "I uh… That was Esme. I've got to go back to Seattle."

"Huh?!" Everyone started making their way out of the water.

"Why?"

"Is Esme okay?"

They all scrambled for towels, wrapping themselves up against the breeze.

"Yes, she's fine. It's Rose. Something bad happened to her, and they want me to come back."

"Mummy?" Henry pushed away from Bella, who was drying him off with her towel. "Something bad happened to mummy?"

Damnit. "No, Henry. She's okay. I've just… Everything's fine." But my boy wasn't convinced. "How about you boys go get changed? Huh?"

"But –"

"Go on. I don't want you catching a cold. Go dry off with the towel in your bag, and put on some clean clothes. Liam and Brody will help you."

When the kids were out of ear-shot, I turned back to the others and adjusted the towel I'd grabbed earlier that was draped around my waist.

I kept my voice low. "Esme just drove Rose home from the hospital."

"The hospital?" Alice asked, giving her used towel to Jasper to use next. "What happened?"

"Dad called Esme as soon as he got to the hospital this morning. Apparently, Rose was dropped off at the emergency room by a concerned cabbie at three a.m. this morning." I paused. "She was beaten in an ally."

"What?"

"Shit."

"How?"

"Was it a mugging?" Bella's eyes were wide with worry.

I nodded. "She said she was mugged. On her way home from clubbing." I swallowed, imagining how scared she would have been.

"Was she alone?" Alice asked.

"She must have been," I answered. "Since a cab driver dropped her off."

"But what if someone put her in a cab and told the driver to take her to the hospital," Jasper said.

"It's possible," I said. "But Rose…Esme said she's numb from shock. She's shut down and isn't talking."

"Has she reported it to the police?" Emmett asked.

Why didn't I ask that? "I don't know. But… Esme has a feeling it was Royce."

"Royce?" Alice scoffed. "Why would Royce…?" She trailed off, contemplating her question.

"I don't know why or who attacked her. But from what Esme's told me, they're scared to be alone. I think Rose is terrified whoever attacked her is going to come back."

Alice sighed. "Do you suspect Royce, too?"

"I don't know what to think. I mean… Rose told me last night he was pretty angry when she broke up with him. Said he was really embarrassed. Maybe, he did..." I couldn't say it. That guy had been around my boy. I took a deep breath. I had to hold it together.

Emmett slapped my back. "I'm coming with you."

I gave him a grateful nod. "Thanks, Man. Alice? Jasper? I need you two to look after Bella and Henry here. Don't talk about Rose around him until I find out what's going on."

"Okay," Alice said. "Don't you worry about us. I'll look after Bella and Henry. You just make sure Rose is okay."

Bella didn't say anything. She didn't have to. I knew she'd understand I had to go and make sure Rose was safe.

"Okay." Things were falling into place. "I'll explain to Henry why I'm leaving before I go."

Looking at my watch, I knew I could catch the next ferry home if I hurried.

"I'll pack up your tents," Jasper said. "You and Em just get going. And give Rose our best."

"Thanks, man." I stepped aside. "Emm? Can I've a word?"

"Sure."

I watched Bella and the others disperse to their tents. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Name it."

"I'm leaving Monday morning, as you know and… I need you to check on Bella for me." He frowned, confused. "She's moving into her new apartment on Monday, and I'd be there if I could, but… Look. Could just pop over and see if she needs a hand with anything?"

"She hasn't got friends or family to help her?"

"She's got a best friend, but that's it. Her dad… she's not close with her dad, so… no. I would help her, but I can't." Why'd I have to go to South Carolina this week? "Could you do this for me? For her? Just make sure she's all right?"

He sighed. "What's her address?"

I told him I'd find out the address of Bella's new apartment before I jogged off to my tent. I was anxious to get on the road. Throwing clothes into my bag, I was haunted by visions of Rose bleeding, helpless and some guys punching bag. I'd always hated Royce… but, if he _had_ hurt her… I'd tear his fucking throat out.

Someone gave a little cough behind me, and I spun around, fists clenched.

"Sorry," Bella said, her arms hugging her middle. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." I threw my shoes into the bag. "Sorry for cutting our trip short, but I've got to make sure she's okay." And make sure no one was going to hurt her again.

"I know you've got to go. And I hope to God Rose is okay. But I want to go with you."

"Bella. No."

She stepped forward. "Please. I can stay at Angela's until Monday. I just… I don't want to stay here without you. I feel like the only reason Alice wants me here is so I'm away from you." I looked into her serious, pleading eyes. "Please, Edward…"

I needed a moment to think. She was right about Alice. And I didn't want Bella to feel like she couldn't escape if she wanted to. And she could stay at Angela's, so… "Pack your bags. We'll leave in ten."

**-xxx-**

I admit I was glad Bella came with us in the end. Having her with me… she kept me focused on her instead of dwelling on Rose and what Royce could have done to her.

We got on the ferry in time and decided to sit in the top deck for the hour voyage. I bought us all a hot breakfast, but I could only handle a coffee. Bella said the bacon smelled off and only nibbled her toast, whereas Emmett finished off his own plate, and then devoured mine and insisted Bella's bacon was fine by eating hers, too.

When we were back on the road, the distance seemed to drag out forever. Bella curled herself up on the backseat and with her head on a pillow, she was able to catch some sleep.

Emmett looked into the back seat at Bella. "Wish I could sleep like that. Those boys last night could kick their way out of a concrete tank." I kept my eyes on the road, not wanting to talk about Alice. Not wanting to talk about anything. "So did Esme say anything else?" he asked. I shook my head no. "Well I think Royce is capable of revenge, definitely. Those selfish, narcissistic people are."

I drove around an annoyingly slow car.

"What was wrong with Alice this weekend?" he asked. I didn't answer, and he shook his head, continuing the conversation. "I thought she liked Bella. They got along really well at the barbeque. I can't figure her out."

Looking over my shoulder, I checked that Bella was still asleep. She'd put her arm over her face, but she appeared to be sleeping. With my eyes back on the highway, my hands clenched the wheel. "Alice hopes me and Rose will get back together."

"_What_? After _how_ many years?"

"Three." I shook my head, knowing how ridiculous it would sound out loud. "She wants us all to be happy again – to go back to the way we were before." I sighed. "Alice and Rose were best friends – for years. So I can understand that she's excited to have Rose back in her life again, but I don't get what it's got to do with me. I mean, they can be friends _without_ me in the picture."

"You told her that?"

"More or less."

"She really thinks Rose wants you back?"

I bobbed a shoulder. "She must. But apart from being civil towards me, Rose hasn't been flirting with me."

"But if Alice thinks so... Maybe Rose said something to her?"

I sighed. "Maybe. Alice tried to guilt trip me about Henry. Saying I… 'had the chance to turn back time' and get my happy marriage back again. But the thing is, I know I've got a better chance at happiness with Bella, so…"

Emmett glanced over his shoulder at Bella. He lowered his voice. "You saying you wouldn't consider getting back together with Rose? Even if she begged you to?"

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying."

I heard a soft sound from the back seat, like a whoosh of breath. Glancing over my shoulder at Bella, her eyes were closed, but… was she only pretending to sleep?

**-xxx-**

Not knowing how long I was going to be at Rose's, I decided to drop Bella off at first. I didn't want Bella having to wait in the car for me. I kept my eyes on the road. "Bella?"

"Yeah?" Her croaky reply indicated she was asleep, for real. "Are we there?"

"No. You can go back to sleep, I just need to know where Angela lives."

She lay back down and told me the address. Sometime before midday, we pulled up at Angela's apartment block.

I hated having to wake Bella. She looked like she was deeply under. I reached between the front seats and laid my hand on her knee. "Bella?"

She gave a jolt and opened her eyes. "Mm?" She pushed herself up and looked around. "We're here?"

I smiled. "Yeah we're here."

"Wow. I can't believe I slept so much." Her hand rested on her stomach and she frowned. Her face was pale.

"You all right?" She nodded and adjusted her glasses. I think she was lying. But what could I do? I was needed more urgently elsewhere. Bella was probably car sick and would feel better after she had something healthy to eat. I got out and opened her door. "You sure you're all right?"

She waved her hand at me. "Oh yeah. Fine." I lifted her stuff out from the tray of the truck as she said her goodbyes to Emmett. I was concerned about her heavy suitcase that didn't have wheels, but she insisted she was strong enough to carry it by herself.

Pulling her into my arms, I kissed her, hating that I wouldn't see her for almost a week. "I wish I could stay longer. But—"

"You have to go. I know." She shook her head. "It's fine. Seriously. Go." Lifting her lips to mine, she gave me a sweet, lingering kiss. "Be careful, okay. And let me know when you get to South Carolina?"

"I will. I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Okay."

"And, um ..." I bent to her ear. "Last night was ... There are no words, Bella."

Coyly smiling up at me, her teeth bit into her bottom lip. "I know. I mean, me too. I mean ... _You _know what I mean."

"Oh, baby, I sure do. This trip's going to feel like forever."

After one last kiss, I watched her walk into the apartment block, loaded down with her bags, before I climbed back up behind the wheel. With a heavy heart, I pulled back into traffic. My ex-wife, and all her drama, was not the woman I wanted to be with.

**-xxx-**

My phone rang in my pocket as Emmett and I pulled into the loading zone out the front of Rose's apartment building. "See you up there," I said, getting out and leaving him to park the car.

"Right." Emmett jumped out and climbed behind the wheel as I strode inside.

I pulled out my phone to see who'd texted me.

Esme…

**Royce is here. Hurry.**

My heart stopped... Only to resume beating at twice the speed. I ran for the elevators. Royce was up there. Alone… with Rose and Esme!

Unprotected. Vulnerable. Terrified.

"Mr. Cullen?" the concierge called after me. "Is something the matter? Should I call security?"

I didn't answer the dickhead who'd let that bastard, Royce, go straight past him. I wanted the chance to kick Royce's ass without security getting in the way. A second later, the silver doors opened, and I stepped into the cage. I returned Esme's text as I went vertical.

**I'm in the elevator.**

When the elevator doors finally parted, I ran down the hall, but came to a sudden stop. A man in an expensive suit was banging his fist on Rose's door.

"Let me in!" he yelled.

Royce.

My eyes narrowed. He was threatening my family. Had beaten Rose.

"Just leave," cried Esme on the safe side of the door. "Edward is going to be here any minute."

My hands clenched into fists as I strode forward.

**-xxx-**

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

**Another chappy! Happy days. The next one is almost ready to be sent to Belindella, so it won't be long. Thanks again to all of you who reviewed and shared your thoughts. It means so much to hear from you. **

**So… Who's betting on Royce getting his ass kicked next chappy?**

**If you haven't heard the song, **_**Give in to Me**_** by Garrett Hedlund and Leighton Meester, go check it out. It's gorgeous. And though it's a duet, Edward wanted to sing it by himself :) www.**** youtube / watch?v= YxABe31hlIU (just remove the spaces)**


	24. Punch

_**CHAPTER 24: Punch**_

To my dearest & talented sister, pre-reader and editor, **Belindella,** a massive thank you for all your patience and hard work. You're a god send!

_(If you don't follow her on twitter, DO! She goes by __**BelindaLuMilton,**__ and we chat about our stories so if you wanna know what's up with the next chapter of B?M?, follow her as well and you'll be in the loop :) On twitter, I'm Nyomixx. And though I'm not on a lot, I'll always reply.)_

To everyone who read and reviewed last chapter, thank you so much. Your words are so motivating and supporting. I love hearing from you.

_Nyomi xx_

* * *

**Saturday, July 5****th****:**

**Edward:**

My hands clenched into fists as I strode to Royce. I spun him by his shoulder and fisted the front his starched white shirt. "_Surprise_, dickhead."

He held up his hands. "Whoa! Edward! What on earth ...?."

"You _dare _come after Rose _again_?"

Royce tried to tug my hand away. "You're insane, Edward!" His voice cracked. His eyelids fluttered. "What did I do? I didn't do anything!"

"Shut-up!" I jammed my forearm under his chin, hard against his throat. He swatted and clawed at my arm like the little pussy girl he was.

The door flung open. Esme and Rose screeched different things at me so loudly, I couldn't understand either of them.

"Go back inside!" I yelled at them.

"Edward, let him go!" Rose pulled at me.

"You're defending him?" I pressed my arm harder against his neck, angered that she was trying to protect the asshole. I, however had no emotional connection to him. "Don't worry, I'll teach this bastard not to hit women." I pulled back my fist, eager to savour the sweet feel of his blood on my knuckles.

"Edward! Stop it!" She hugged my arm, making it impossible to hit him "He didn't beat me! He wasn't the one who attacked me."

"What?" My eyes flickered between her and the scumbag. I still wanted to hit him – hard – for some reason. I stepped back. Royce fell to the floor like a rag-doll. He coughed and spluttered for air. "What do you mean he didn't hurt you?" I asked her with her wrist swollen and in a brace, and her eye bruised. Fuck. "If he did this to you, you don't have to protect him anymore."

"But he didn't. Royce would never hit me. Or anyone."

Royce got to his feet and glared at me. "You thought I'd hurt my Rosie? You're the sadistic one! I'd never hurt her. Ever! I love her. She's my _fiancé_."

"_Was_ your fiancé," Rose said to him, unhurt hand on hip. "What are you _doing_ here anyway?"

She definitely wasn't scared of him.

"I came to get the rest of my things."

"There's a box in the kitchen," Rose said. "Esme? Could you show Royce…?"

"Yes," Esme said. "Come on, Royce." She led him inside.

I turned to Rose. "Are you okay?"

She pulled me into her foyer and locked the door. "Sorry for calling you down here, but I couldn't say anything – to anyone – until I asked you something." Reaching into her denim jacket, she pulled out her cell phone and pressed a few buttons. "Do you know this man? He said he worked in television."

I took her phone and studied the photo on the screen. Three women – Rose's friends – in a club, with a guy talking to one of them off to the side. The man wasn't looking at the camera, but there was no doubt. "That's… That's _Ben_. My producer."

She blew out a long breath and closed her eyes. "I thought so. I recognised him as the man rushing around your office a couple months back."

"What about him? Did he see something last night?"

Her eyes lifted to me slowly. Her lips trembled. "He..." Her voice cut to a whisper. "He tried to rape me."

No. He and I were friends. Had worked together for years. He wouldn't do that. Not that I'd ever introduced him to Rose, but ... Studying the photo again, I tried in vain to come up with an excuse. Had to be someone else. Another dude could look similar. But he'd said he worked in television.

"Why would he ...? Doesn't make sense," I heard myself say.

"I didn't tell him who I was. He was buying us all drinks and paying attention to Mariah. She's been feeling so down since putting on all that weight." She scoffed. "I was happy for her to meet a nice guy. But when we decided to head home…" Rose fiddled with her jacket collar. "He promised to phone Mariah tomorrow and offered to drive me home since we were going the same way. And since he was a friend of yours…"

I clenched my jaw. "What did he do?"

She touched the angry bruise on her temple and stuck out a defiant chin. "He went to kiss me in the car. But when I laughed and tried to get out… he punched me. When I came to, I was in some ally and he... he was pinning me down. When I realized what was happening, I fought myself free and ran, but... my underwear was around my ankles, so I fell." She swallowed. "He dove on me, and I screamed at the top of my lungs… a guy came out of a side door, yelling something. And your friend ran off."

"No friend now, Rose."

Her tiny smile and sad eyes urged my arms around her. She melted into me, like she used to do when I'd come home from work, early in our marriage. Déjà-vu. She even smelled the same. Chanel Number Five and lavender shampoo. Too familiar. Too much pain in the memory. I cleared my throat and backed up. "I'll call the police. Okay? I'll give them his address."

She nodded and handed me a card with a phone number. "That's Sergeant Woods. Guess she can match the DNA she collected from under my fingernails."

Ben's DNA.

Ben, who had met Angela, the night I met Bella.

Bella was staying with Angela! Could he be there? Was Bella in danger? My head whirled as I left Rose in the foyer and walked past the kitchen, not hearing the conversation Royce was having with Esme at the breakfast bar. Pressing in Bella's phone number as I walked, I stepped through the French doors next to the kitchen and entered the muted coloured lounge room.

"_Helloooooo, sexy man!" _

"Bella?"

She giggled. _"Stop it, Ange!"_ I heard her friend make kissing noises in the background. _"She says hello."_

"Is Ben there? Is he at Angela's?"

"_Ben? No. He's coming over tonight for dinner. Do you want me to get him to ring you?"_

A deep, angry voice came from Rose's kitchen. "How dare you lay a finger on a woman!"

Emmett?

"Oh shit."

"_What's wrong?"_ Bella asked.

"I've got to go."

I hung up and rushed into the kitchen. Emmett had Royce pinned against the refrigerator, his feet dangling an inch off the floor. The women screamed for him to stop, but he wasn't listening. Royce's wide eyes scrunched closed just before Emmett's fist pounded into his face.

I grabbed a hold of his raised arm. "Emmett, man! Wait!" But I didn't break the ferocity his focus. "Emmett, he didn't do it. He didn't hurt Rose. Let him go."

He turned his head to me, his chest heaving with massive breaths. "_What?!_"

"It wasn't him. Trust me."

Emmett blinked, and stepped back. "Oh." He straightened Royce's collar. "Sorry, dude."

"SORRY?! I ..." Royce touched under his nose, at the trickle of blood, and inspected the red on his fingertip. He choked on a sob. "You broke my nose! My perfect nose!"

"It's fine, Royce." Rose rolled her eyes just a fraction. "Wait till you get hit so hard you pass out."

Emmett's head spun to her. As a kid he'd had to watch his dad beat his mom, and the pain on his face as his eyes roamed Rose's injuries wasn't hard to miss. "The bastard knocked you out?"

Rose shrugged. "Just for a bit."

"Hellooooo?" Royce waved his hand in the air. "I'm _bleeding _here. Won't one of you maniacs at least give me some ice?"

Emmett raised his eyebrows at Rose and thumbed toward Royce. "Mind if I throw the clown out?"

"Please!" Esme said. Such an unexpected request from my sophisticated step-mother had us all laughing while Royce stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door.

"Thanks," Rose said to Emmett. "That was great."

**-xxx-**

The female sergeant I'd talked to earlier, phoned me back maybe an hour later, and told me that Ben had confessed to everything after he was informed that they had DNA evidence. With Ben in jail, I had another problem.

Without him, I had no producer for the TV show. What was I going to do? We had arranged to shoot a special historic houses program in Charleston, South Carolina. It was too late to cancel. I needed a producer by Monday morning!

I phoned my assistant, Jessica, and asked her to arrange an urgent meeting at the office.

"_But, sir… everyone's on holidays."_

"I'm aware of that. Just get who you can, and tell them it's urgent."

"_Yes, sir."_

I could feel my blood pressure rise as I explained the situation to the Rose, Emmett and Esme.

"You'd better go then," Rose said to me. "My friends are coming over tonight to keep me company, so..."

"Good. I'm glad you're not going to be on your own." She managed a small smile.

Esme offered to drive Emmett home. They just had to wait at Rose's until Carlisle finished work and picked them both up. As I drove through traffic to the office, my cell rang. I parked in my allocated space, and saw it was Bella who'd phoned. Damnit. I'd forgotten to call her back. Walking through the ground floor doors of my office building, I dialled her number.

"_Edward! Is everything okay? Are you okay?"_

"Yes, I'm all right. Everyone's fine."

She let out a heavy breath. _"You had me worried. I thought… You had me thinking the worst."_

"Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. But Bella... the man who hurt Rose –"

"_Did they catch him?"_

"Yes. They have. He's in custody. But there's something I have to tell you."

"_What?"_

"Is Angela near you?"

"_Yes. We're making lasagne."_

"Can you go somewhere private?"

"_Uh. Yeah. Hang on." _She told her friend she was just ducking outside. _"Okay. What's the matter?"_

"It was Ben. Ben attacked Rose." Silence. "He offered to drive Rose home from the nightclub, and she accepted, only because she knew he worked with me, and… he tried to rape her. She fought him off though." More silence. "He's confessed to the police, Bella. It's hard to accept, I know, but it's true. I know you have to tell Angela, but when you do, tell her I'm sorry. Really sorry. She wasn't the only person deceived into thinking he was a good guy."

"_You mean… I can't believe it. Ben? He seems so… sweet."_

"I know." I didn't tell her that he used to speak quite vulgar about women in private. But even then, I never would have guessed he was capable of rape. "He fooled us all."

"_Wow. I don't… How on earth am I meant to tell her?"_

"I don't know, Bella. But you're the best person to break it to her."

We talked some more, and I told her how I had to try and find another producer by Monday. As much as I wanted to see her, I had to organize work first.

My weekend away with Bella was shot to shit.

**-B?M?-**

**Bella:**

"Angela?" I wiggled her locked bedroom door knob. "Let me in, sweetie."

"Leave me alone."

I sighed. Half an hour had passed since I'd told her that her boyfriend was a rapist. It had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. "Okay. When you're ready to talk, I'll be in the lounge room. Okay?"

I heard muffled sobbing through the door.

My head felt like it was about to implode. Walking back down the hall into the open living area, I opened the top drawer in the kitchen and found Angela's stash of pain killers. With a glass of water, I took two Tylenol, before curling up on the short little couch. Though I'd slept most of the way here in the back of Edward's car, I still felt pooped. I would have loved to have slept in a real bed, but Ben still had boxes of his grandmother's stuff in the spare bedroom. What was going to happen to them now? He wasn't able to come get them.

My whole body was weak from exhaustion. I hoped I wasn't coming down with something, especially since I had a big week ahead, moving into my own place on Monday, and then I had my art course starting later in the week. With a sigh, the rhythmic sound of Angela's dryer quickly lulled me to sleep.

Something warm and heavy fell over me. I stirred, realizing it was a blanket. "Ange?"

"You looked cold." She lowered herself into the other chair, cradling a cup of steaming coffee.

The blanket was deliciously toasty against my goose-pimpled skin, and I snuggled into it. "Is this from the dryer?"

"Mm-hm."

"Oooooh. Thank you." Her eyes were red and swollen, and on the verge of shedding fresh tears. "Oh, honey. How you doing?" It was a stupid question, and I regretted asking her when her lip quivered. She tried to speak, but took a sip instead.

After a moment, her words pierced the silence. "That bastard! I can't believe…" She shook her head. "I can't believe I fell for him."

"Oh, honey. He fooled us all."

Her face turned red as she started crying. I couldn't imagine what she was going through. To be deceived like that, by someone you thought you knew.

Ohhhhh. Shit. Me.

Was that how Edward had felt? After he'd found out I was Marie? I'd tricked _him_, lied to him, and made him believe I was someone else. He'd been so angry, too, just like Angela.

The weekend passed in both melancholy and angry outbursts. She'd be outraged and cursing his name one moment, and the next, tears would fill her eyes and she'd just zone out and stare at the carpet. Angela insisted on analysing everything Ben had told her, everything he'd done, trying to make sense of who or what he really was. She was desperate to cling to the belief that his words and deeds of affection were real, and that he truly did care for her, even though she hated what he'd done to Rose. That violent, disgusting side of Ben was a stranger to her. But the fact that the two sides of him existed in the one body, made it impossible for her to like him as a whole, no matter how charming he was.

My heart twisted in agony for her.

**-xxx-**

Just after the bright sunshine had risen Monday morning, I slid a note under her door, letting her know I was looking forward to seeing her at my place later. She'd promised to bring my bags over when she came by after work.

After a restless night on that couch, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep, but I _had_ to leave. The painters were arriving early at my apartment, and I had to let them in. My furniture, and everything I'd bought on my shopping spree last week, was arriving in the afternoon as well.

My day of independence had arrived.

I hoped on the bus, struggling to juggle Angela's mop, broom and a bucket full of her cleaning products in my arms. I'd really hoped Angela would want to take the day off work and help me out, but it was understandable that she had to work.

I'd been so excited to live on my own, but I hadn't known how much I wanted someone to help me move in, to show my new apartment off to, to share in my happiness. Edward had been excited for me last night when he'd called, which was as soon as I'd returned his text, but he wasn't going to be back until Friday now. God I was going to miss him!

I was determined to make the most of my day.

The two hairy painters in white overalls were waiting outside when I got there. They got straight to work removing the torn, faded green wallpaper, while I started cleaning out the yellow kitchen cabinets and the original purple bathroom suite. For such a small place, with so many windows, they'd said it wouldn't take them long to strip the walls back and give them a few coats of the creamy-white paint I'd chosen.

At 9:00 Angela finally replied to my text which I'd sent an hour earlier.

**I called in sick to work**, she wrote. **I'm coming to help you. See you soon. **

A grin exploded on my face. But I didn't want her to come if she really didn't want to.

**Only if you're up for it,** I said. **No pressure.**

Time ticked away.

No sign of her.

Poor girl was really feeling it.

Old Harry, with his grizzly beard and paint-coated hands, found me in the bathroom just before midday. "We're all packed up, Bella."

I walked out and scanned the ivory walls of my new studio. "Oh! It looks so much bigger!? And cleaner. It's exactly what I wanted."

"Good to hear. I'll send you our invoice tomorrow."

"Thanks."

The place looked so different and fresh compared to when I'd first seen it; dingy green with bare patches in the wallpaper. It was a shame I couldn't push the furniture hard against the walls until they were dry, but it was an inconvenience I was willing to put up with. If only Angela was here to see my studio. I sent her a text. **I'm starving. Going for some lunch. Do you want me to get you anything? **She didn't reply. I waited around for ten minutes, locking up the apartment, but my stomach was demanding a whole elephant ... or dinosaur. **I'm leaving now. I'll be quick.**

I snatched up my keys and purse and headed to the small collection of shops down the road. She probably just couldn't answer because she was driving.

The Thai restaurant was open and the thought of chicken stir-fry sounded delicious.

"Won't be long," said the young girl behind the counter.

"No worries." I remembered there was a bench seat out in the sun. "I'll just wait outside." As I made myself comfortable, I checked my phone again. Nothing.

A dark blue car parked three car spaces away, and for a moment I thought it was Angela's. My smile died when a middle aged man got out.

I did a double take.

Short, curly dark hair.

Red flannel shirt.

Broad shoulders.

_Dad? _

I couldn't see his face…

My breath stuck in my throat as I stared at his back, hoping and fearing he'd turn around. What would I say to him? How would he react to seeing me? Would he cry and hug me? Or would he ignore me? Would he humiliate me, call me names? Make me feel worthless like he did four years ago?

If I got up now and ran away, he wouldn't see—

He turned.

Big nose. Bigger lips. Beady eyes.

Not Dad.

Not Dad.

My breath left me in a whoosh, making my head feel like it was going to roll right off my shoulders.

Thank god!

My heart was racing but my whole body felt weak. I fell back against the wall, grateful I was sitting down. Grateful it wasn't him. Things started to blur in front of me as my stomach flip-flopped like a fish washed up on the shore. Forcing myself to lean forward, I put my head between my knees and took deep breaths, telling myself to stop being so ridiculous. To stop overreacting…

"Swan?" called the waitress. "Order for Swan?"

I nearly panicked again, thinking she was calling out to Dad. Then sense returned. My food would have to wait while I rested back against the wall again. As soon as sensation returned to my fingers, and warmth to my face, I collected my lunch.

Trudging back to my place, I couldn't stop thinking about what would have happened if it had have been him. So many outcomes. So many of them ending in hurt feelings.

The paint fumes hit me as soon as I opened my door.

I put my bag of Thai chicken on the kitchen counter before opening all the windows. I hadn't seen Angela parked out front. What was keeping her? Every car that drove down my street got my hopes up. When she got here, I just wanted to hug her. She'd think it would be for her, but I was selfish right now. Right now my fresh cream walls were expanding so wide that I felt like the only person in the world.

I pulled a fork from the drawer just as my phone sounded with a text.

**Sorry, Bells. I'll try and make it over for dinner. Or tomorrow. Ange. xo **

The screen became a blur from my tears. That was my hug, I guessed. Through the overpowering silence, dad's last words to me leached through the cracks and echoed around me with each of my breaths.

"_Liar!... I never want to see you again… User… Worthless troublemaker…" _

Maybe I wasn't so hungry, after all.

**-xxx-**

The delivery guys arrived right at 1:00 that afternoon, right on time to save me from any more infuriating pacing. I rushed downstairs, eager for a distraction and to carry the light things like my cushions and lamps.

I wasn't stupid. The two burly men could carry the heavy stuff.

By the time they'd finished doing several trips back down to the truck, my place was jam-packed with boxes and furniture, some of which were wrapped like massive presents.

I didn't know what to unwrap first. Each boring, cardboard box held all kinds of goodies that were all mine. This is what grown-ups did—move into their own place and unpack their own belongings. So simple, yet... At twenty-two-years old, I finally felt like an adult. Fear of my father notwithstanding, of course.

Yeah, I needed to keep my thoughts on unpacking.

I ripped off the plastic wrap from my mattress and bed base and made it with sheets straight from the packet. Who cared about washing the starch off them? That would take too long, and I didn't care.

Just looking at my freshly prepared bed and fluffy comforter made my muscles long to try it out, and I contemplated curling up under those covers and having a quick nanny-nap. I felt guilty even thinking of it with so much to do, but then again… my best friend or boyfriend would ring and wake me up soon, so why not?

After only five minutes sleep, a dog wouldn't quit barking outside my window. Damn dog. I looked at the time on my phone. "What?" Three hours? I blinked and reached for my glasses to make sure. 6:30 and no one had called.

I plugged in my microwave and reheated the Thai stir-fry, forcing myself to eat something. After I finished, I phoned Angela.

"Hey, honey," I said. "How you doing?"

"_Mm. How 'bout you?"_

A cold wave of nausea flowed over me, and I put a hand on my stomach. The Thai wasn't agreeing with me. "Er, I'm not too good actually. I…" Feeling light-headed, I gripped the kitchen counter. "I think I'm coming down with something. Is there anyway you can swing something at the hospital and get me in to see a doctor tomorrow? I haven't got medical benefits now I'm unemployed and... Well, you can imagine, right?"

"_What ...? Huh? Sorry, hun. I zoned out there for a sec. I can't stop thinking, what if we'd gotten married? What if we had kids? What if he started hitting me? I just… It's so hard!"_ She sobbed into the phone.

"I know, sweetie. It's a good thing you found out when you did."

"_I really loved him, Bella." _

I wiped my clammy brow. "Do you want me to come over?"

"_No."_ She sniffed_. "No, I'm just gonna stay in bed. How bout you come over tomorrow? You can borrow my car to get your bags over to your place and do whatever else you want. I'm not going to work."_

"Okay." I guessed I could wear these clothes again to her place in the morning. "See you 'bout eight."

I hung up as water filled my mouth. "Ooh!" With a hand over my face, I ran for the toilet, making it just in time. Didn't think I'd be seeing that chicken again, but some things are unavoidable. At least I could flush it from existence.

"Ugh." Shivering, with sweat beading all over my icy skin, I sat on the floor, catching my breath and balance.

Nothing made loneliness sink into my every pore more than feeling so sick I'd rather spend the night on the bathroom tiles than go through the effort of walking to bed. I wondered… if I died here, how long would it be till anyone found me? Angela was preoccupied with her ex. Edward was preoccupied with replacing Angela's ex. No one else. Just two people in my life. Maybe it would've gone okay if I'd seen Dad today. He used to fuss whenever I was sick, before I changed into someone he didn't like. I wished I was still ten, that way he'd carry me to bed and poke a thermometer under my tongue, make me fresh orange juice and read me any book I chose.

There was only one cure for such ridiculously dreamy thoughts. A doctor, a diagnosis, and drugs to fix everything. STAT. Tomorrow, while I had Angela's car.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

**A short chapter but a jam-packed one.**

**Who loved Emmett's bravado?**

**And poor Rose & Angela. Who of you can sympathize? **

**And as for little ole Bella… the BIG question you've all been anticipating will be answered next chappy!**

**Love ya,**

**Nyomixx**


	25. Surprises

**Chapter 25: Surprises**

**Thank you for not giving up on me and for continuing to read and support this story. **

**It's the greatest encouragement I could ever ask for.**

A tremendous thank you goes to **Belindella**, who co-wrote this chapter with me and who edited all three versions. This has been one of the hardest chapters to get right, but I hope you'll think it's up to par.

So here we go again…

**-xxx-**

* * *

**Tuesday 8****th**** July**

**Bella:**

I scrubbed one of my fluffy white towels over my wet skin in the rush to catch the next bus. Last night, I'd promised Angela I'd have breakfast with her at eight o'clock, and I was cutting it close. Poking a foot through my only pair of undies, that I'd hand-washed last night, I tried not to think of the ickiness of having to wear yesterday's shorts and T-shirt. But I only had to wait till I got to Angela's, then I could put on something clean from my suitcase that was still in her spare bedroom.

My stomach made a sound like a growling cat as I walked into the kitchen. I stretched my arms through the sleeves of my shirt and opened the fridge door. But all I had was milk.

Music sang from my phone.

"How are you, Ange? Did you get much sleep last night."

"_I'm okay,"_ she said, sounding tired. _"Mom's here."_ Her mother's high-pitched voice called from the background, '_Is that Bella-boo? Tell her I said hi!"_ Angela gave a short laugh. "_Mom says hi."_

"Oh, I can't wait to see her!" Kathy had been like a second mom to me ever since Angela and I became best friend's freshman year of high school. "I didn't know she was in Seattle. I thought you'd said she was in Portland for her book signing."

"_Well mom called last night – her Monday night check in – and when I told her what happened with… him, well, she insisted on driving straight here. Her publicist is apparently pissed at her for ditching an appearance this morning at a major bookstore but mom promised to make it up to her tonight."_

A pang of jealousy plucked my heart strings as I thought about my own mom, out there _somewhere_. Was she missing me? If she found out where I was, would she drive through the night to see me? I cleared my throat and brought my thoughts back to Angela. "So what time did she arrive?"

"_After midnight. We sat up talking till three and only woke up a little while ago." _

"How about we go out for breakfast together then? I'll be at your place in about ten minutes."

"_That's why I'm calling,"_ Angela said, regret in her voice. _"I'm going to join mom on her book tour for a while. She thinks it'll be good for me to get away from Seattle for a bit, and to be honest, I could do with getting out of town for a while. I've already cancelled my shifts for the next two weeks."_

Two weeks? "So… when are you leaving?"

"_As soon as I'm packed. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, but Mom's got to go straight away as she's speaking tonight at a children's charity event." _

"Aww," I whined. "I was looking forward to catching up with her."

I heard Kathy's regretful voice in the background, telling Angela they had to go in order to beat the morning traffic.

"Well… make sure you enjoy yourself."

After I said my good-byes, I sighed, thinking about my lonely suitcase at her place, full of my clean old faithfuls. Since I also needed food for my deprived fridge and my empty stomach, I snatched the keys from the living room table, deciding to do some shopping and use Angela's spare key to get my stuff.

My finger paused above the TV remote's 'off' button as the corny commercial playing caught my attention, showing a 20-something woman flushing a toilet and wiping her mouth before holding her stomach. Pretty gross to show someone throw up, I thought. I kept watching as her expression turned hopeful while she looked down at a pregnancy test. And the words on the screen said _know for sure_. Just a preggers-test ad.

All that for that? Now I'd probably missed the bus.

Flopping down the stairs in flip-flops, I blamed the pregnant woman on TV for delaying me. Her and her stupid throwing-up self. My footsteps slowed.

She'd felt sick. I felt sick… She was pregnant... Oh crap. _I_ couldn't be… pregnant? Could I? I stopped. My head swam with questions and doubt.

_I couldn't be… pregnant! Edward and I had been safe. Every time. But I had had sex in the past two weeks. A lot._

Mrs. Forrester, my land-lady who lived in the bottom apartment, burst through her door, holding a bulging garbage bag. "Oh! Good morning, Bella."

"Hi... Mrs… Mrs. Forrester."

She stuffed her trash into the bin outside her door, complaining how hot it was, but my thoughts were somewhere else.

"Bella?" Mrs. Forrester laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Wha...? Sorry."

"Is everything okay, hun-bun?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's good. Thanks." I suddenly remembered the time. "Sorry. I've got to go, Mrs. Forrester. See you later." I plonked my butt onto the cold bus-stop bench, watching the rear of my bus accelerate down the road. Now I had to wait fifteen minutes until the next one. My stomach squeezed… then squirmed like a worm on a hook that knew it was about to be swallowed whole. _Could I really be…?_

After catching the bus to the shopping centre, I strode into the large drug store with one purchase in mind – a pregnancy test. The advertisement's words, _know for sure_ repeated in my mind, so I bought five. Just to be certain.

"Would you like some pregnancy brochures too?" the lady at the counter asked as she put my little boxes into a paper bag. "They're free."

Without a computer at home, I did kind of need some pregnancy literature. Just in case. "Thanks."

Sitting in the half empty food-court, with the pharmacy bag sitting on the seat next to me, I tore into the warm croissant I'd bought for breakfast. Soft, buttery flakes melted in my mouth and for the first time in a while, I didn't feel like throwing up after I ate. That proved it: this morning's idea had just been a little scare. I wasn't pregnant at all. I was definitely going to go on the pill right away. First, though, were the tests in my handbag that had to prove my new theory. I washed the croissant down with the sweetest orange juice I swore I'd ever bought and after purchasing a couple of bags of essential groceries, I realized I shouldn't have bought the tub of yogurt until _after _I'd gotten my suitcase.

On my way out of the shopping centre, colourful frocks displayed in a window caught my attention. Pressing my fingertips to the cold glass, I wished I could feel as whimsical as the mannequins looked. I thought I'd save myself a taxi ride with my warming yoghurt, and spoil myself a little instead. When was the last time I wore something new, anyway? I was still wearing jeans and hoodies like I had when I was in high school. I was a woman now, with my own apartment and a sophisticated boyfriend. I _needed_ those clothes in the window.

**-xxx-**

I busted through my front door and crashed into my apartment, my hands bulging with my groceries and a few bags from Bohemian Booty and its neighbours. After I'd chosen two dresses, I saw a few embroidered tops, skirts and scarves I needed to have, too. And then I just had to visit the shoe shop next to it to complete my outfits, and Victoria's Secret was another necessary stop. It was all very logical; I could hardly hand-wash my same old bra and undies every night, and now I had matching sets in gelato coloured lace!

With my foot, I slammed the front door and dropped my parcels at my feet. I wanted to open and inspect every one except for the one bag I realized I'd been avoiding by purchasing all the others.

"Rip it off like a Bandaid," I said. Snatching it up, I put the white paper bag onto the kitchen counter and opened it. "Quick and painless!"

The thing about pregnancy tests, however, is they're not quick, and they're not painless. Sitting on the side of my cold tub, chewing my lip and chanting that it was all in my head, that the condoms wouldn't have failed, I waited the required two minutes while whistling the tune of Zippity Doo Dah. After five minutes, I still sat glued to the tub. Mentally, I was back in those shops, avoiding something that couldn't be ... but _might_ be.

_Just look at them!_

Five white sticks lined up like a white picket fence. But what side of the fence will I be on? Their little windows showed ... Two blue lines. _Two_ lines! I squealed. "Ha, ha!" All negative! I knew it. "_Phew…_" I blew out a huge breath and picked up one of the boxes to read the back – to doubly, doubly, doubly make sure.

And then I fainted. Well, almost. All the strength went out of my legs, I crumbled to the floor. Two lines meant _positive_. All five of the tests were positive! I read the box again. And again. No mistake. I was... I was...

Oh, boy.

Funny how when there's so much to think of at once, all thoughts get jammed in the doorway of your mind so that none of them get through and you just… zone out. I tried to think of who I was supposed to tell or what I was supposed to do first as I wandered around my apartment staring, not seeing, overcome with the feeling I wasn't alone. More than a feeling; a knowledge.

A little pea of a person was right here with me.

Laying on the sofa for a long time, my limbs heavy and weak, I was watching the TV intently when I realized the screen had been black for so long because it wasn't on.

_I'm pregnant. _

And yet I couldn't make myself touch my stomach. Somehow it would all be too much, too real if I touched where it lived. Where it was growing.

_I'm pregnant._

It was... mine. The pea belonged to me. It was my family. I had a real, blood family member now. Just… miniature sized. I sat up with a jolt. Not just mine! Edward had made this pea with me. It was half his.

It... the_ pea_ would be his baby one day, too, with diapers and bottles and a crib to sleep in. I fell back into the couch cushions. We'd only been officially together for four days. You don't tell someone you're growing their pea after dating for four days. A tear slid from my closed eyes, burning a hot, wet path down the side of my nose.

Though it certainly wasn't the ideal time for us, I knew Edward would want this baby. He loved Henry so much, he would never say no to another child. He'd wanted another child so desperately, that he still grieved for his still-born little girl he'd lost three years ago.

Cynthia.

Edward had loved her, even before she'd been born, and had been so devastated with her premature death, that he'd designed a beautiful pond garden to keep her memory alive. An image of three brightly coloured fish swam behind my closed eyelids as I recalled the expensive, mystical Koi fish Edward had bought for Cynthia's pond garden. Three years after her death and he was still devoted to remembering her. Now that's love.

I had no doubt he would want this baby of ours, but what if I… what if I lost it? My breath stopped. What if I got Edward's hopes up… and I miscarried? Rose had delivered a still-born child and their relationship had deteriorated to ashes quickly after. I'd have to start taking better care of myself. Avoid things like alcohol and… Shit. I'd had a few drinks while camping! Had I hurt my baby pea?

Now I really missed not being at Rose's with her ultra fast internet connection.

The brochures!

I jumped up and found the pile of them on the kitchen counter. Carrying them back to the sofa, I spread them out on the coffee table and opened the first one. The more I read, the faster my heart began to pound. I needed to talk to someone. My fingers couldn't find Angela's phone number fast enough.

"_Whaaaat?"_ she answered in a joking tone. _"Miss me already?"_

"I'm pregnant. Five weeks. I just found out."

"_You're joking, right?" _ She laughed, but when I didn't laugh with her, she became quiet. "Oh my god, are you serious?"

"Yes. I just took five tests and they're all positive. I… I… I don't—" My voice broke.

"_Mom,"_ Angela said. _"Can you drop me off at the next bus stop? I've got to go back."_

My breath left me in a rush of relief, and I sunk back against the cushions. She knew I needed her here with me.

"_What happened?"_ Kathy asked in the back ground. _"Is Bella all right?"_

"_Bella's…"_ Angela trailed off. _"I just need to get back."_

"You can tell your mom," I told Ange, wanting Kathy's opinion as well. Kathy had never judged me or believed the horrible lies spread about me by my bitch of a step-mom. Even though my own father had thrown me out, Kathy had stood by me, continuing to love me as though I was one of her own, dear children.

"_Mom,"_ Angela said. _"Bella's just found out she's…she's pregnant, and I want to go back. She just took some tests and they were all positive. I'll catch a bus back to Seattle."_

Kathy didn't say anything for a few seconds but it felt like minutes. _"All right. We'll go back together. I'm not going to just drop you off. I'll… I'll cancel my speech."_

"_Mom,"_ Angela said. _"Don't be silly. Your publicist will kill you if you miss the speech tonight."_

"_I don't like the idea of leaving you at some bus-stop."_

Angela tried to plead with Kathy, but Kathy insisted she wasn't going to leave her after what 'that boy' had done to her.

"Don't worry about coming, Ange," I said, closing my eyes and trying to keep my voice steady. "I'm okay. You and Kathy should go to Portland. Your mom's right – you need to get away and try and forget about… _him_."

"_Are you sure you'll be all right?" _Angela asked.

No. I wasn't sure. But I also didn't want Kathy to regret missing the chance to promote her book. "Of course I'm sure. I just… It's a lot to take in, you know? I'm going to be a mom, Angie."

"_Does that mean I get to be fun Aunt Angie to a smiling little Swan?"_

"Seems like it."

"_So you've got, what is it, three or four days to figure out how to tell Edward? He gets back on Friday right?"_

"Yeah, Friday night. But, I'm worried. I know I should tell him, but… I think it might be too soon. I've just read that many women miscarry in their first trimester, and I'm only five and a half weeks along…"

When I told them about Cynthia, and how Edward still grieved for her – three years after her death – Kathy, in particular, was very concerned and urged me to hold off from telling Edward. _"At least until your relationship is stronger, or until you start showing,"_ she said. _"Then if you do miscarry, heaven forbid, you're love will be stronger and you'll have a better chance at surviving that kind of loss together."_

After saying goodbye, I reread all the brochures till my eyes were droopy and my mind fuzzy from too much information. I dropped my glasses on top of the brochures and curled up on my side, hugging a cushion to my chest. I was desperate to leave my chaotic thoughts behind for the silence of soundless sleep. Was not telling Edward the right thing to do? I didn't want to lose this precious little pea in a week or so and break Edward's heart all over again. Yes. Kathy was right. Better to wait for the pea to grow stronger…

**-xxx-**

A pounding _boom, boom, boom, _echoed through my apartment.

I jolted awake, hoping I'd only imagined it, and closed my eyes again.

Someone knocked on my door again. Whoever it was had a heavy hand.

With a heavy groan, I peeled off the sofa and padded bare-footed to the door while sliding my glasses onto my nose. "Who is it?" I croaked.

"Emmett!"

"Oh my god." I twisted the dead-bolt and opened the door. "What a surprise."

He grinned, holding a small potted plant that was budded all over with little blue flowers. "Happy house warming!"

I forced the most appropriate chuckle I could and invited him in, trying not to think about the secret that would change the life of his best friend.

"Here." He held out the plant to me. "This is from you-know-who."

I closed the door with a teasing smile on my face. "From Alice?"

He frowned. "No, _Edward_. Oh!" He laughed at my raised eyebrow. "Got me, yah jokester. Yeah, Edward made me pick 'em up from the florist in town." He cast his eyes around my apartment as he walked in and sat on a stool at the kitchen bench, making himself at home. "He was pretty specific about getting you those exact ones. They're called Blue Eyes. He said the name was a secret between you guys. Sooo… What's the secret?"

My heart skipped a beat as I shot him a wide-eyed look. "I… I can't…"

He held up his hands. "Fine, fine. Keep it to yourselves." He grinned. "Must be a good one. I couldn't get Edward to even give me a hint."

I lowered my eyes to the flowers I was holding. "So they're called Blue Eyes?" The small, delicate blue flowers nodded their heads at me as I placed them on the window ledge over the kitchen sink. "They're gorgeous."

"He hoped you would like 'em. Soooo… This is the new place, huh? Swanky."

"Psh! Thanks. Coffee?" I wanted him to stay. I felt so relaxed with him around. He reminded me of our fun times with Edward.

"No, thanks. Just had one with Rose." His face flinched, like he was kicking himself for slipping up and saying her name.

My eyebrows shot up. "With Rose? You had coffee with Rose? _Really_?"

"Alright, alright. It's not that big a deal." He cleared his throat. "She's not as bad as Edward said she was."

"Well…" I adjusted my glasses. "I thought she was great when I worked for her."

He drew doodles with his finger on the kitchen counter. "She said she feels safe with me, I don't know."

"Who wouldn't?" I asked, smirking at the big boy with a crush. "She deserves to feel safe after what she's been through."

"Bella, I…" He looked worried. "I'd prefer it if you didn't mention anything to Edward just yet. There's nothing going on with me and Rose, but I'd rather he hear it from me."

"You'll tell him soon though, won't you?" I asked. "He deserves to know." _Deserves to know…_ The words swirled around my head. I knew Edward deserved to know about _my_ secret, but mine was different. I was protecting him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Pfft. Yeah, why?"

"I dunno. You look like you need to get something off your chest."

My cover was slipping. "I'm just tired from… shopping."

"No worries. Can I use the little boy's room before I go?"

"Sorry. I've only got a little girls' room."

He shrugged. "Desperate times."

I heard him lock the bathroom door, and I decided to make myself a coffee. When I put sugar in the cup, I hesitated. Should I be having sugar? Or even coffee? Now that I'm pregnant perhaps I shouldn't be— Oh, no! The tests were still on the vanity! "Emmett! "Emmett!" I yelled, rushing to the bathroom. I banged on the door. "Emmett, I just remembered the toilet's busted!" Maybe he hadn't noticed them on the vanity. "Please!" I whispered to the universe.

"Sorry, Bella, I've already seen 'em. Be out in a tick."

Oh god. I stepped backwards into the fridge. He knew! He knew. What was he going to say? How was I going to explain…? I'd only known for a few hours myself and now Emmett knew? I took a deep, steadying breath.

He opened the bathroom door and leaned against the door frame, looking at me with his hands stuffed into his short's pockets. "You okay?"

I swallowed hard and stared at him.

"Did you just find out?" he asked.

I gave a tiny nod.

He patted my arm and moved towards his stool at the counter. "I might have that coffee after all."

"Okay," I whispered, relieved he wasn't angry or demanding answers. I chose another mug from the cupboard and made his coffee in silence. Unable to look at him, I slid his mug towards his hand. The counter between us was a comfortable barrier.

"So…" he said. "Does Edward know yet?"

I swallowed but my mouth was dry and sticky like I'd swallowed glue. "No."

"Is it his?"

My eyes shot up to his. "Yes."

His brows furrowed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but didn't you guys just get together on the weekend? Isn't it a bit early for pregnancy tests?" Gazing into my coffee, I didn't know how to explain to Emmett about the one night stand I'd had with Edward three and a half weeks ago. Emmett bent forward. "Were you guys together _before _the camping trip?"

I adjusted my glasses, hating the blush that warmed my face and neck. "Once… Three weeks ago."

He was silent, but I could feel his eyes burning blistering trails over my face. "You both had me fooled," he said. I managed to raise my eyes and see that he was just surprised, not judging me at all. "So when you were working at Edward's the other week, you two had already…" He shook his head, confused. "Edward and I can read each other pretty good, and I would have known if there was something between you guys."

"Yeah, but he didn't know it was me when we'd slept together, so that's why he wasn't… why you didn't see… why he never…" I groaned, hearing my own ridiculous words.

Emmett's eyebrows scrunched into a deep frown. "Wadda you mean he didn't know it was_ you_?"

"Damnit, you're too disarming, you know that, Emmett?" No wonder Rose felt safe around him. He had a certain way about him, like he was your oldest friend in the world who you could tell anything to and feel accepted and safe.

Edward really did have the best choice in friends.

I took a sip of my coffee, trying to think of the right way to explain. "Okay. It's a long story, but I'll give you the short version. I… I went out clubbing with my friend Angela a few weekends ago… I didn't look like myself. You see, I have these blue prescription eye contacts. I rarely wear them, except for special occasions, and… I was wearing one of Angela's red dresses and she'd straightened my hair, so I really didn't look like myself. We were going to this fancy new club in the city and she wanted us to look sophisticated, you know? So…" As I continued to retell what happened that night, Emmett sat quiet, listening, never interrupting. Telling him was easier than I thought. "…and that's pretty much it. Edward forgave me after I told him I was Marie, and we… I guess you could say we really like one another now. For real."

He looked at the blue flowers on my window sill. "Blue Eyes… I get it now." His lips twitched with a smile. "And now you're pregnant."

"Yep. And now I'm pregnant." I sipped my coffee as my whole body sagged with relief. He knew… and he was supportive. Why did I think he wouldn't be?

"Guess you'll have to wait till he gets home to tell him," he said, taking a sip of his own coffee. "It's certainly not something he'll want to hear over the phone."

"Mmm." I couldn't bear to tell him that I'd decided not to tell Edward… for a while.

**-xxx-**

Later that afternoon, Edward phoned and caught me taking a walk through the park across the road. Kids squealed and laughed as they played on a nearby climbing gym while their mothers stood by their prams and strollers, watching them.

That would be me soon.

"_So how are you?"_ he asked, as I turned away from the playground and headed down the tree-lined path. My blood pounded hard through my veins like an encyclopaedia tumbling in a dryer. He had no idea that in a few months, if I didn't lose this little pea, he was going to be a dad again.

"I'm great!" I said. "How's the show going down there?"

"_Not good," _he answered._ "The guy we got to replace Ben as producer is useless. Completely useless. I hate Ben on a whole new level now." _He gave a tired sigh._ "Anyway, has Emmett visited you yet?"_

"Yeah. He came by earlier." I lowered my voice to a teasing tone. "I think you should know… he brought me some _really_ beautiful flowers."

"_Is that right?"_ I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I think he might have a crush on me." I grinned as Edward erupted with laugher. "I can't believe you found flowers called Blue Eyes," I said. "They're gorgeous. I've got them sitting on my kitchen window sill. I'll think of you every time I wash the dishes." I tried to keep the conversation light, but my pesky conscience kept whispering... _pregnant, you're pregnant, tell him you're pregnant! _ I sighed, feeling the distance between us and longing for his warm spicy scent around me and seeing the smile in his green eyes. "I miss you."

"_I miss you, too." _His voice heightened with excitement. _"I can't wait till Friday night to see you again. I've arranged for a family BBQ at my house on Saturday, and I want you stay. Can you?"_

"Of course. I'd love to." The thought of having to hide my secret, to pretend that nothing was wrong, in front of Alice and Jasper, made my mouth go dry and my stomach swirl. And if Emmett came too… "Have you got Henry this weekend?"

"_Yeah Rose is going to bring him over Saturday after lunch. She asked if she was invited to the barbeque too, but I told her 'not this time'."_

"Oh." Rose wanted to go too? Thank god Edward said no.

"_I want you there, because… My parent's have promised to come, too, and… I really want you to meet them."_

Oh boy. "That sounds wonderful, Edward. I can't wait."

**-xxx-**

* * *

**Chapter's End Notes:**

So… Bella knows for sure. And Emmett too! Ha!

With only another 3-4 chapters to go, I hope I'll see you next update!

Take care,

Nyomi xx


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